Wrong Side of Forty

by Jana DeLeon

  “That’s easy. I forgot to lock the door.”

  “You did not. In fact, you locked the door and pulled the shiny new dead bolt as well.”

  “So you’re telling me you can walk through walls?”

  “Not exactly. Just that human constructs can’t bind me. Follow me. I’m going to step outside and I want you to lock the door. Both locks.”

  He headed out her back door and pulled the door shut.

  Marina shrugged. What the hell? The worst thing that could happen was he was out of her house and couldn’t get back in. Seemed like a win. She headed for the door and twisted the regular lock, then pulled the new sturdy dead bolt and took a step back.

  “Okay, do your thing,” she called out.

  A second later, the dead bolt slid back, the knob twisted as if it weren’t locked, and Alexios strolled inside.

  Marina stared at the door as if it were going to take flight. “How did you do that?”

  “I thought I had explained this.”

  “Yeah, yeah, you’re a demigod. So is that why the perfume didn’t make your eyes red?”

  His brow scrunched. “I suppose so. Your weaponry can’t harm me, and I suppose the perfume was being used as a weapon. Alas, my birthright didn’t extend to saving me from the smell.”

  “Alas? That’s what you’re going with?”

  She walked back to the recliner and flopped down, overcome by a wave of sheer exhaustion. At that point, an appearance by Jesus Christ himself wouldn’t have moved her off that chair.

  “You know,” she said, “your Houdini trick with the door is cool and all. And probably on a different day, I’d be surprised or even remotely interested in how you did it. But I have to be honest—I don’t have one ounce of energy left to give. I’ve pretty much decided to sit here until I starve to death or have to pee. Might not even move for the second one.”

  He stared up at the ceiling. “For the love of Zeus, please give this assignment to someone else.”

  A bolt of lightning came through the window and struck the floor directly in front of Alexios. He jumped back, looking sheepish.

  “Point taken,” he grumbled.

  Marina pointed at the singe on her donated rug, still not ready to buy into the superhero status Alexios was pitching, but unable to explain why a bolt of lightning had appeared from a cloudless sky.

  “That’s going to leave a mark,” Marina said. “Was that a message from your boss?”

  “Yes. A very direct one.”

  “He seems like a dick,” Marina said.

  Thunder rumbled and the house shook.

  Alexios cast a nervous glance upward, then stared at her, clearly confused. Finally, he sat on the couch across from her.

  “Your response to all of this is somewhat odd,” he said. “Definitely unlike the others.”

  “I imagine you get the cops called on you quite a bit. Wait…there are others?”

  It figured. She wasn’t even special in the musings of a crazy person.

  “There have been several over the last couple centuries.”

  “Of course there were. Wait…centuries?”

  “Yes. It’s been a very long assignment. Much longer than I’d hoped.”

  Marina narrowed her eyes at him. “You want me to believe that you’re centuries old?”

  “Yes,” he said, looking somewhat bored. As if all of this was completely normal.

  “That’s some seriously good antiaging cream you’ve got.”

  “We only age to a certain point and then that’s where we remain.”

  “For how long?”

  “Forever. Well, forever is the ideal. Unfortunately, the Seekers before you have been unsuccessful and our time is running out. I don’t know that our world or yours can last much longer.”

  “Can they last until I soak my feet?”

  “You’re not taking this seriously at all, are you?”

  “Put yourself in my position. Would you?”

  “I have been in your position, of sorts. I was sent here with assurances that you are the Seeker, and yet I find this disheveled, middle-aged woman in the midst of some sort of personal crisis. You’re going gray and have”—he covered his mouth with his hand—“a black chin hair.”

  She rubbed her finger across her jawline where the offender usually made its appearance. Sure enough, even though she’d just plucked it two days ago, it was sticking out at least a quarter inch. Sighing, she slumped lower in the chair. Alexios was just one more man who had issues with her appearance.

  Apparently, he realized he’d offended her because he was instantly apologetic.

  “I’m so sorry,” he said. “I wasn’t trying to insult you—I need to explain. But I have to go back a bit to do so. May I?”

  “I already told you I have no plans to leave this chair and my gun is in the other room, so go for it.”

  “Okay. A very long time ago, the goddess Aphrodite had an affair with a demigod named Drakos and became pregnant from that union. She’s been long married to Hephaestus, the god of metalworking, but he’s always overlooked her dalliances. When she ended her affair with Drakos, he became angered. He loved Aphrodite and felt that she’d misled him. He insisted she leave Hephaestus to be with him and their child, but Aphrodite just laughed at the ridiculous suggestion.”

  “Did Hephaestus ever catch Drakos in his bed with Aphrodite and wearing Hephaestus’s sexiest boxers?”

  “I’m certain the answer is no. For many reasons. Why?”

  Marina waved a hand in dismissal. “Doesn’t matter.”

  “Anyway, Zeus had commissioned Hephaestus with the creation of certain items of power. Items that could harness the strength of multiple gods for the wielding of a single user.”

  “Why would he do that?”

  “To ensure he remained in control. When you’re sitting in the big chair, there are always those who wish for your seat. Hephaestus, however, had always been aligned with Zeus and set about making the objects. Somehow Drakos learned of this and visited Aphrodite one last time under the auspice of attempting to win her over. While he was with her, he cast a spell on their wine. That night, when Aphrodite and Hephaestus were unconscious, he sneaked into Hephaestus’s workshop and stole the objects of power. But he was caught by guards before he could get away. Knowing that his fate was sealed, he summoned all of his power to fling the objects down to earth before the guards killed him.”

  “So why didn’t one of the gods just pop down here and retrieve them?”

  “Because Drakos cast a spell on them so that they are invisible. He thought in the absence of those objects, some of the dissenters he’d aligned with would be able to overthrow Zeus.”

  “But that didn’t happen.”

  “Not yet.”

  “Well, if these magic things are invisible, then I don’t know how you think I can help. Seeing invisible objects isn’t my superpower.”

  “You have a superpower?”

  “Bad decision-making.”

  Alexios frowned. “The objects are only invisible to gods. We believe humans can see them.”

  “You believe…but you don’t know.”

  “No, but Hephaestus put a spin on the objects of his own. He’d worked Aphrodite’s blood into the creation of the objects, creating a link between the objects and some who share Aphrodite’s bloodline. That’s where you come in.”

  Marina blinked. “You’re saying I’m a descendent of Aphrodite?”

  She let out a single laugh, then the longer she thought about it, the more ridiculous it sounded. So she laughed more and more until she was headfirst in her knees, practically sobbing. Alexios waited silently and clearly annoyed until she regained self-control. Finally, she sat back upright and wiped the tears from her face.

  “And because Aphrodite was a great beauty and I have a chin hair, that’s why you were confused?” she asked, and started to laugh again. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop. But jeez, you have to see the hilarity in all of this, right?”<
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  “I assure you this is very serious business. End-of-the-world serious. And yes, your appearance did give me pause. The others have been considered great beauties of their era and have derived power from their appearance alone.”

  “Like who?”

  “Cleopatra and Lady Godiva to name two. And in more recent times, Marilyn Monroe.”

  “Cleopatra, Lady Godiva, Marilyn Monroe, and me? Did you ever watch Sesame Street? You remember that song ‘One of These Things Is Not Like the Others’?”

  “Which is why I observed before approaching, so the recordkeepers had time to double-check everything. But all the signals are correct. You are the next chosen.”

  “So you’re saying I’m related to those people—Cleopatra and company?”

  “Yes, but perhaps hundreds or even thousands of times removed. Aphrodite had children with multiple partners and those children had affairs and children and so on. The recordkeepers finally came up with a potential explanation for the uh, variance, between you and those before you, which also explains why not every woman who shares Aphrodite’s DNA comes into power.”

  “I can’t wait to hear it.”

  “The beauty is part of the power that comes with the DNA, but in the case of the others, there was a childhood trauma that seemed to have triggered the gene. Apparently, you were bereft of this trauma, as were many before you who never came into power.”

  She stared. “No childhood trauma? Have you met my mother?”

  He wrinkled his nose. “Unfortunately, yes. Observing her was part of my investigation when it appeared as if we’d made a mistake. She’s a most disagreeable woman. And a visit with her did further confuse me, but we finally decided that you must have been stronger as a child than the others. So your power wasn’t triggered during your formative years, which is usually the case. For you, it appears that a lifetime accumulation of stress, culminating with finding your husband in bed with another woman, was the catalyst. It’s the first time anyone has come into power at this advanced age.”

  Marina raised an eyebrow at the word “advanced” but didn’t feel like arguing. “So I got cheated out of being a supermodel or a world ruler because I was raised to ‘suck it up’?”

  “I suppose you could look at it that way, but I do find it interesting that despite the lack of power in your earlier years, you were still drawn to the profession of beauty.”

  “Yeah, but it’s too late for me to be a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model or have an affair with a president.”

  “The first is not entirely out of the question as your society is becoming more focused on aging. As for the second, would you really want to?”

  “That’s a whole different discussion, but I’m still calling bullshit on modeling.”

  “Why? The power is already making a difference. Did you not notice the change underneath your eyes? And the gray in your hair has diminished by about 30 percent over the course of today. I predict by tomorrow morning you won’t have any left.”

  Marina touched her face under her eyes and the skin was still tight and firm. It wasn’t possible, right? Alexios was just some nutjob with a bizarre notion that she was part of his fantasy. But then, there was the singed carpet, and her eyes did look better than they had in decades. Even Halcyon had noticed.

  She reached up and touched her hair but didn’t feel like going to the bathroom to look. “I wish I had a mirror on me.”

  Alexios reached into his jeans pocket and tossed her a glittery pink compact.

  She narrowed her eyes at him. “Did you conjure this into your pants with magic?”

  “Of course not. I don’t have that ability. I carry that everywhere. You never know when you’ll need to check your teeth or the size of your pores.”

  “Are you…” She shook her head. Was that even possible?

  “If you’re asking if I prefer the company of a hot male, then yes, we have the same inclinations where that’s concerned.”

  “Not me. My inclination is to remain alone.”

  He gave her a wistful look. “Yes. I’m afraid I feel the same at the moment. The dating scene has been particularly rough this century.”

  “So tell me more about these magical items,” she said. She’d seen that look before and the last thing she wanted to do was listen to Alexios launch into his dating woes. She was certain she didn’t have enough alcohol to endure centuries of relationship failures.

  He looked a little disappointed but then put on his business face and got back to the job at hand. “There were three total, but the only one that Hephaestus has ever gotten a signal from is a ring.”

  “Signal? Like GPS?”

  “No. More like a brief pulse, kind of like a heartbeat.”

  “And he got this signal how?”

  “He felt it. It was faint, but he’s certain the ring is still intact.”

  “So why doesn’t he tell us where it is?”

  “The only thing he can tell us is that it’s on Earth. We believe those of the bloodline are born near the object.”

  “There it is, that ‘you believe’ again. But you don’t know. So this ring could be in Russia or at the bottom of the ocean.”

  “That’s not what we chose to think.”

  “Ha! You are gods. Because you want something to be a certain way, you decide to believe it is.”

  “We believe this way because the alternative is the end of our lives and yours. Would you prefer to go the other route?”

  She must have hesitated too long for his taste because he waved a hand in dismissal.

  “Anyway, we need to find this ring now. Zeus has to be able to harness the power of the other gods in order to defeat our enemy.”

  “A ring, huh? That holds the power of many and can only be carried by one. I’ve seen this movie. And if you’re saying I’m Frodo, we’re going to have big problems.”

  “This is not Lord of the Rings. Although someone with a predilection for purple jeans might have gotten drunk with Tolkien back in the day and exchanged tales.”

  She frowned. “Why don’t you just send Aphrodite down to find the ring? I mean, it’s her blood. Wouldn’t she have a stronger connection than descendants born centuries down the line?”

  “She’s tried. For thousands and thousands of years she’s roamed the earth trying to find the ring. But for whatever reason, she’s never felt the draw. And since we can’t see it…”

  “Did you ever think that maybe she never felt a draw because it isn’t here? Everything you’ve just told me is based on speculation. Let’s just say for a minute that I buy any of this—how am I supposed to find this ring if Aphrodite can’t?”

  He hesitated. “We’re not quite sure. Our hope is that now that you’ve come into your birthright, you’ll be drawn to it.”

  “But none of the others before me were.”

  His shoulders slumped. “I know. It’s a failure I’ve carried with me for a long time, and trust me, the boss does not let me forget it.”

  “Surely you’ve gleaned something from centuries of trying to find this thing.”

  “Only the side effects of beauty. Nothing that helps us determine the location of the ring.”

  Marina blew out a breath. It was ridiculous, of course. The belief that she was descended from a goddess and possessed the ability to find a magical object that would save the world. That was the sort of thing that got you a long visit in a padded room. But there was something about his story that stirred her deep inside. Like a tiny tickle at the bottom of her stomach. Something that made her believe he might not be crazy after all.

  “What’s in it for me?” she asked. “I mean, the earth not ending isn’t really a good selling point for me. Not today.”

  “Of course. Because you came late to the party, so to speak, and didn’t benefit financially from your bloodline as others have, we’re prepared to make you a monetary offer. If you are successful in your pursuit, we’ll arrange for one million dollars to appear in your bank account.”


  “The IRS will love that.”

  “They’ll never know it happened. Neither will the bank. As far as humans are concerned, it will have always existed, so no red flags.”

  “And if I’m not successful?”

  “Then no amount of money would make a difference.”

  “How long do I have?”

  “Our best estimate is a week.”

  “You want me to solve a centuries-old puzzle in seven days.”

  “Give or take.” He gave her a hopeful look.

  Marina stared out the window at the slow-moving tide on the bayou, the last few days rolling around in her mind. Then the last twenty-eight years with Harold. Then her childhood with Mother of the Year.

  Could she make things any worse?

  Chapter Ten

  Marina bounced out of bed the next morning, feeling better than she had in forever. Which was amazing given the amount of physical labor she’d endured the day before and the amount of wine and Cheez-Its she’d consumed that night. But when she went into the bathroom that morning and looked into the mirror, the exhausted, stressed face that she was used to seeing wasn’t there. Instead, tight skin with no wrinkles stared back at her, not a single gray hair at her crown. The offensive chin hair had even disappeared.

  She leaned forward to take a closer look at her chin but couldn’t even see a pore, much less a hair. This entire charade might be worth it for the elimination of that hair alone. She’d showered the night before, so she ran a brush through her hair, which was unusually untangled and glossy. But at the point where she normally would have reached the end, she kept brushing. She pulled a lock of hair from her back to her front and realized that it was a good two inches longer than the day before.

  Marina had always wanted long luxurious hair, but no matter what product she tried, her hair started to break and thin out once it got past her shoulders. Now she had thick, soft, shiny auburn hair as you only saw in commercials. She stared into the mirror several seconds longer, the reality of the situation sinking in.

  “Alexios was telling the truth,” she said out loud.