Blush for Me

by Kristen Proby

  “Well, this is a sweet surprise,” Mom says when she opens the door and sees us standing there. Her dark hair is graying, and she stopped going to have it colored and cut a few years ago. Because Dad found her “Just for Me” fund and stole it.

  My dad has turned into a class-A dick.

  She’s dressed in a pretty dress with small white flowers on it. Her makeup is done, as if she’s about to go out for lunch with her friends.

  But she’s not.

  “Can we come in, Mom?” I ask.

  “Of course, this is your house too,” she replies, and steps back for us to enter. We didn’t grow up in this house. Because of Dad, they lost our childhood home years ago. This house is rented in my name, because the alternative was my parents being homeless, and Chase and I aren’t willing to let that happen.

  The house smells like cleaner. Since Dad got sucked into the gambling hole, Mom has become obsessive about keeping the house clean. I’m no Ph.D., but even I know that it’s because keeping the house clean is the only thing she has control over.

  “We wanted to talk,” Chase says as we all sit in the living room. “We’re worried about you, Mama.”

  “Oh, I’m fine.” She waves him off and stands. “Are you hungry? I can make some tuna fish sandwiches for lunch.”

  “No, Mom. We’re not hungry. We’d like to talk about your phone call to Chase earlier.”

  “You told him?” she asks Chase, clearly pissed off.

  “He was sitting next to me,” Chase replies. “He heard the call.”

  “Well, that was private,” she says, smoothing her hands down her skirt. “You should have left the room.”

  “Because you don’t want me to know that you’re hitting Chase up for money just two weeks after I paid all of your bills?” I ask, not bothering to gentle my tone. “That’s bullshit, Mom.”

  “I will not tolerate that language in my house,” she says, speaking to me like I’m nine. “You may speak like a hoodlum when you’re not here, but you won’t do it around me.”

  “Why do you need another five thousand dollars?” Chase asks.

  “Because I do.” She clasps her hands in her lap and clamps her mouth shut.

  “Mom, we just want you to talk to us about this.”

  “I don’t know why,” she replies. “I just want the money. You can afford it.”

  “That’s not the point,” I reply as Chase stands and paces the living room. “You can’t have another five grand in bills to pay already.”

  “Dad’s in trouble,” Chase says, and Mom looks to the ground, flushed. “That’s it, isn’t it? He’s in the hole.”

  “He didn’t mean it,” she begins, but Chase paces away, cursing a blue streak. “Don’t you speak about your father like that!”

  “Mom, this is insane. He’s ruined both of your credit. He drains your accounts as soon as any money hits, and you have to hide what little money you have from him just so you can go to the grocery store. When is enough enough?”

  “He’s my husband.”

  “He’s killing you.”

  “Stop it.” She shoves up to her feet. “He’s a good man who has been going through a bad spell.”

  “For a decade,” Chase adds.

  “I won’t give up on him. Either you’ll give me the money I need or you won’t, but I won’t stand here in my own home and be lectured to by you two.”

  “We won’t be giving you more money for his gambling,” I reply. “If you choose to leave, we will help you, and I won’t have you starve, so there’s that. But I will not pay for his gambling habit.”

  “He’s your father,” she says.

  “I don’t recognize him,” Chase says. “And we want nothing to do with him.”

  “Get out of my house,” Mom says, glaring at both of us. “You have the means to help your family and you won’t. I’m ashamed of you.”

  “That shame works both ways,” I reply, and walk out of the house and to my car. Chase is right behind me. I glance at the house, but Mom isn’t looking outside. The house is still.

  “I can’t believe this,” Chase mutters. “We’ve never helped Dad gamble. What makes her think we’d start now?”

  “I think it’s worse than she’s willing to say,” I reply, and drive away, feeling more helpless than I ever have in my life. “But I mean it, Chase. I won’t let her be homeless or hungry, but I will not give her cash.”

  “I agree, brother,” he replies with a heavy sigh. “I need a drink.”

  “I know a place for that.”

  “Hi there, handsome,” Kat says with a wide grin when I pick her up for dinner later that night. She looks amazing in tight jeans, rolled up, and a blue blouse tied at her waist. Her hair is a riot of curls, pinned back on one side with a skull barrette.

  “You’re gorgeous,” I say as I pull her in for a long, hot kiss. She tastes like candy. “And you taste even better.”

  “I’ve discovered Mike and Ikes,” she replies with a laugh. “I’m addicted.”

  “They’ve been around for a lot of years,” I reply, and lead her to the elevator.

  “I know, but I’ve never had them. Now I can’t stop eating them.” She takes my hand in hers and kisses my thumb. “I’m happy to see you.”

  “I’m always happy to see you,” I reply, and cage her in the corner of the elevator, kissing her madly. “I think I’m addicted to the candy too.”

  She grins. “I’ll keep eating them, then. But it’s your fault if I gain a hundred pounds.”

  “You’d be gorgeous at any size.” I lead her to my car. “Did you have a good day?”

  “I did. I cleaned my condo, went to the grocery, spoke to my mom for a bit, and Riley and I went to get pedicures.”

  “That’s a busy day. And it’s not even Sunday.”

  “I know, I was surprised when Mom called, but she said she was missing me. It was kind of sweet.”

  “I’m glad.” I smile over at her and pull into the valet parking at the restaurant.

  “I didn’t wear anything fancy,” Kat says, eyeing the valet.

  “I didn’t either. I’m pretty sure they’ll still park the car for us.” I wink at her, deal with the car, and escort her into the restaurant. It’s a steak house, but it’s not necessarily fancy. It can go either way.

  We get settled at the table, I order a nice bottle of red, and reach for Kat’s hand when the waitress leaves with our order. “What else happened today?”

  “Riley told me about this dude she went out with the other night.” Kat rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her water. “He sounds like a douche canoe.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he said he’d pick her up at seven, but got there at eight fifteen. Then, took her to dinner, but said he forgot his wallet, and then still expected her to have sex with him.”

  “Please tell me she decked him.”

  Kat laughs, sending a wave of electricity down my back. “No, but she did tell him to go fuck himself.”

  “Good.”

  “Riley’s not good at dating. I’m not sure why, but she seems to attract the losers.”

  “Dating is rough,” I reply, and thread my fingers through hers. Our wine arrives, and we go through the motions of smelling the cork, tasting the wine, and then watching the waitress pour it into our glasses. “To you, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. Thank God she’s chosen to hang out with a loser like me.”

  She smiles and clinks her glass to mine, then takes a sip. “Yeah, you’re a loser for sure.”

  Dinner is delicious, and goes quickly. But I find that most of my time with Kat flies by. She’s so damn interesting, willing to talk about anything and everything. And damn, if she doesn’t make me laugh. I want to spend more and more time with her, and that would have scared me off in the past.

  Hell, it never would have entered my mind in the past.

  I don’t feel scared with Kat. I feel . . . calm.

  Just as we’re finishing our steaks, my ph
one buzzes in my pocket and I scowl at my mom’s name. “Damn.”

  “Who is it?”

  “My mother.” I hold her gaze as I accept the call. “Hello.”

  “Hi, darling, it’s Mom. I just wanted to call and tell you I love you.”

  I narrow my eyes, still watching Kat, and feel my grip tighten on the phone.

  “That’s the only reason you’re calling?”

  “Well, I was hoping that I could talk you into reconsidering the little loan we talked about this morning.”

  “Little loan.”

  She’s quiet for a moment, and Kat’s brows raise as she watches me.

  “I know it’s an inconvenience, but I need your help, Ryan. I—I’m scared.”

  “What are you afraid of, Mom?”

  “There are people who might hurt your dad if they don’t get their money.” The last few words are said with a whisper, and my gut tightens. Chase was right.

  “Mom, there’s someone I’d like for you to meet.”

  Kat nods vigorously, as if she’s reading my mind, and I’ve never been as thankful for her as I am right now.

  “Okay, that’s lovely.”

  “Right now. We’ll be there in thirty minutes.”

  “Oh, but—”

  I end the call and take Kat’s hand in mine again. “I’m sorry, Kat.”

  “What’s happening?”

  I don’t want to drag her into this. It’s personal family business, but damn it, I trust her. I’ve come to depend on her. She calms me in the middle of any storm, and I need her.

  “My mom asked Chase and me for five thousand dollars today. We told her no, but now she says that someone might hurt my dad if they don’t get paid.”

  “Oh my God,” Kat says, holding on to me tightly.

  “Chase and I asked her to leave him today, but she refused. We just pissed her off.”

  “I’m sure you did,” she replies with a nod. “What can I do?”

  “Will you please come to her place with me tonight and . . . I don’t know . . . just be there?”

  “Of course,” she replies immediately. “I’ll help in any way I can.”

  I wave the waitress down and pass her my card, then sign off on it and we’re gone, driving to my parents’ house.

  “Did you ever actually work as a counselor?” I ask, trying to keep my nerves down.

  “For about a year,” she replies, and takes my hand in hers, holding on to me tightly. “It just wasn’t the right fit. But like I said, I still get to use my skills all the time.”

  “As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters. I can see that Seduction not only challenges you and your colleagues, but you all enjoy it.”

  “We really do,” she says with a nod. “Did your dad enjoy real estate?”

  I pause, thinking back. “I think so. He never said he didn’t enjoy it. I’ve never understood how everything went to hell in a handbasket so quickly after his business folded.”

  “Some people don’t do well with fear,” she says.

  “You’re right, and he’s one of them. I doubt he’s there,” I say as I pull off the freeway. “He’s never home, unless it’s to sleep and pilfer for money. He’s sold off almost everything they own. Including my mother’s jewelry.”

  “My God. I’m sorry, Mac.”

  I shake my head and lead her to the front door, but instead of my mom answering, it’s Chase.

  “Did she call you too?” I ask in surprise.

  “She called me first,” he replies, stepping back to let us in. “I made her call you too and then came over.”

  “This is Kat,” I reply, introducing them. “Kat, this is Chase, my brother.”

  “I’ve heard a lot of great things,” Kat says with a smile.

  “Likewise,” Chase replies with a wink, and leads us into the living room, where Mom is sitting in her chair, twisting her hands in her lap.

  “Ryan,” she says with a smile, then jumps up when she sees Kat. “Oh, you brought company! If I had known, I would have made a cake. I’m Bonnie MacKenzie.”

  “Kat.” Kat holds her hand out to shake Mom’s. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  “You’re a lovely girl,” Mom says, and smiles brightly at me. “What a wonderful surprise.”

  “Mom, I brought Kat because I’ve been dating her, and I value her opinion. We need to talk about the mess Dad’s in.”

  “This is not a conversation I’ll have with a stranger,” she replies in a loud whisper. “It’s family business.”

  Kat slinks back out of the way and sits in a chair off to the side. She smiles reassuringly at me, and sits quietly, wanting to be as unobtrusive as possible as Chase and I have it out with our mother.

  “Look, Mom, if you’re scared because Dad’s in trouble, we’re not comfortable with you staying here.” Chase sits next to our mom and puts his hand on her knee. “You can’t keep living in fear.”

  “I’m not leaving my husband,” she insists. “We had more than twenty years of happy memories. He’s a good man. It’s just been hard in the past few years since he lost his job.”

  “And everything else you own, including the house we grew up in. I’m renting this house and letting you stay here because he’s ruined your credit,” I remind her. “When is enough enough?”

  “I promised to be here through good times and bad, and this is just some of the bad.”

  “He’s a jerk, Mom! He’s not the same guy you married thirty-four years ago.”

  “We all have our demons,” she insists, her chin high. “He’s fighting his. I just need you boys to help us out a little.”

  “We help you out a lot,” Chase says. “But, Mom, I don’t think we’re really helping you at all. I think it’s time you think about leaving.”

  She stands, backing away from us and thrashing her arms about. “I’m not leaving my husband! It’s not like he beats me or sleeps with other women. When he’s happy, things are good. I just want to keep him happy. I can help him!”

  “No, you can’t, Mom,” I say, frustration thick in my voice. “You’ve been trying for a decade to help him, and he doesn’t want to be helped. Why can’t you see this?”

  “Just come with us,” Chase says, stepping to her. “We will help you.”

  “No.” She’s shaking her head vigorously. “No, I won’t leave. Why do you want me to be miserable? I can’t do this without him. No. No, I won’t.”

  “You’re being unreasonable.”

  “Just listen.”

  Suddenly there’s a loud thump on the coffee table, making us all turn around in surprise.

  “Everyone stop right now.” Kat’s brown eyes are fierce as she looks at each of us in turn. “Stop talking. You’re not helping anything.”

  I turn to Mom and see tears streaming down her pretty cheeks. God, what have we been reduced to? Our family used to be so happy, so connected, and now we’re this?

  “I’m sorry, Mom.” I reach for her, but she backs away.

  “Don’t you touch me. I can’t believe you’re such a mean-spirited boy.”

  “I said stop,” Kat says, glaring at all of us. “Chase, Mac, take a deep breath and walk away.”

  Chase starts to argue, but she pins him with a look that would make anyone obey. “Take a breath,” she says again, more gently this time, then turns to my mom. “And Bonnie, you need to take a breath too. Mac, would you please get her a glass of water?”

  “Of course.”

  I stomp into the kitchen, fill a glass, and return to the living room. And there’s my girl, kneeling next to my mom, wiping her tears, and speaking softly.

  Thank God I brought her with me.

  Thank God I have her.

  Chapter Eleven

  ~Kat~

  I can’t bear to see them all hurting so much.

  “I just need their help,” Bonnie says, looking at me with pleading eyes. My hunch is that her husband verbally abuses her when he’s on a losing streak.

 
“I understand,” I reply, and sit next to her.

  “Maybe you can talk to them. Make them understand.”

  “Well, I have another idea.” I pass her the water and watch her take a sip. “This isn’t going to be what you want to hear, but I think you should give some thought to removing yourself from this situation.”

  She visibly shrinks back, glaring at me now. “I’m not divorcing my husband.”

  “I’m not suggesting you do that,” I reply quickly. “I didn’t say anything about divorce. I understand that you love him, and I respect that very much. But you’re frightened, Bonnie, and this isn’t healthy.”

  “He needs me,” she says, a bit softer now.

  “I believe that.” Of course he needs you. You’re the only reason he hasn’t hit rock bottom yet. But I don’t say that. Instead, I nod in understanding. “But look at your sons.”

  She does as I ask and more tears fall down her cheeks.

  “They aren’t trying to be unkind to you. They love you very much and they’re trying to protect you.”

  “I don’t need to be protected from my husband,” she replies, but her fingers shake and she won’t look me in the eyes now. “He doesn’t mean to hurt my feelings.”

  “He has an illness,” I reply gently. “Bonnie, you leaving for a little while might be the only thing that makes him realize that he needs to get help.”

  “But what if it doesn’t work?” She grips on to me tightly now. Desperately. “What if I leave, and he doesn’t get help or try to get better?”

  “Well, we will cross that bridge if we come to it, but I can tell you with certainty that he won’t get better if you stay. He will keep leaning on you to clean up his mess. I think he meant well in the beginning, trying to win money to make up for everything he lost in the crash.”

  “Yes, that’s exactly what he was trying to do.”

  “But it’s gotten out of hand, Bonnie. He’s put you in the worst position you could ever be in when it comes to your kids. Does he become mean when he loses?”

  She bites her lips and looks up at Chase and Mac, who are standing nearby, listening intently.

  “Sometimes,” she replies in a whisper. “But he’s never laid a hand on me in anger.”