by TJ Fox
“Oh, honey. I haven’t a clue how to do any of this either, but I’ll do my best.”
Betty pulls the conversation back to her. “As I understand it, it wasn’t all that long ago that you lost your mother. Did you have anyone to talk to about your loss other than each other? Counselors, friends, even a therapist?”
Riff pulls back his anger enough to talk. “Yeah, Dylan made us go talk to a therapist once we knew Mom wasn’t going to get better. We still see her about once a month.” He has his arm around Simone.
“That’s very good. My advice is to see her as soon as you can because she’s going to be a valuable resource during this. Do you have any questions for me?”
They shake their heads. Betty turns to me in question, brow raised.
“What happens after we leave the hospital? The kids will come stay with me, of course, but there’s still a lot up in the air. And we’ll need to arrange to get their stuff.” Resolving one problem is good, but it’s only one and a temporary fix at that.
After taking a minute to think on it, Betty responds. “Normally we would have things like inspections and home visits, but these aren’t normal circumstances. Why don’t you call me once you get settled at home, and we can talk then? You can update me on the progress with the lawyer, and I may have worked out a solution about going to the house. Obviously, call me if anything comes up or you have questions before then. I’ll get in touch if I hear anything as well. Sound good?”
“Yeah. Okay.”
She tells the kids good-bye, leaving us to think on all we discussed. I decide asking them to help with something I’ve been thinking about may be just the distraction they need right now.
“I’d like to try to keep things as normal as I can for you after we leave the hospital. I know bits and pieces about all of you, but it isn’t all that much. I thought it might help if you could fill in some blanks.”
I pull out a couple of pens and small notepads from my purse, and I hand them each a set. “We don’t have any idea what will happen or what I’ll need, if anything, while you are with me. What I would like for you to do is write down all the important stuff first, full names, birthdays, allergies, any medical issues you have, anything you think is important. Next, I’d need a list of things like school and extracurricular activities like soccer, or if you currently have a schedule for things like practices. If B has anything, then you two can put together a notebook for him later but worry about yourselves for now. Last, I want a list of all the things you like or don’t like. Food, music, movies, activities, what your favorite color is, clothing. Whatever you can think of to add, then add it, even if it seems silly.”
They both are looking confused because I just gave them a massive homework assignment.
“Basically, I need a summary of your lives because I’m taking a crash course in getting to know you. I don’t want to screw up, so I really need your help. Hell, I’m going to screw up with your help, anyway, but I’m looking to cut down those screwups as much as possible.”
“Are we going to get the same from you?” Riff asks me, probably expecting me to shoot him down.
“Absolutely. You’re free to ask me anything, and I will do my best to answer honestly.” I need them to see that they can trust me. Not just to treat them fairly, but that I will do what I say. They need as much stability as possible. It is my hope to give to them the same solid foundation Jules gave to me all those years ago.
“So, if I ask your cup size…” Simone smacks him on the shoulder. “Riff!”
“You would get a giant veto. Not because of what you were asking, but why. I reserve the right to not answer questions I think are too personal or inappropriate. I will also veto any question asked in an effort to be a smartass like that one. Understand?” I give him a look that dares him to push the issue, but he backs off.
“Yeah. Sorry.” Simone is glaring at him. “What? I apologized. Sheesh! It was a joke.”
There is a little playful shoving before deciding they need to get out of the room for a while.
I lean back in my chair and close my eyes, trying to get my body to release some of the tension created by the latest emotional roller coaster. Things didn’t get as ugly as they could have, so I’m putting this conversation into the sunshine category. I think I’m going to be consciously looking for those moments, at least for the next little while.
Chapter 14
The rest of the evening is anticlimactic in comparison to the first part. B somehow managed to sleep through my epic meltdown and our meeting with Betty. When he wakes later, he cries, but not the heaving sobs of earlier, just quiet, broken crying that eventually dies out.
There is little conversation. The kids turn the TV on for a while, but I don’t think anyone is really watching it. We’re all physically and emotionally drained.
It dawns on me that we broke the twenty-four-hour mark at some point, and I didn’t notice it. It seems like way more time has gone by.
I don’t pay much attention to the new nurse. She seems nice, but quiet. She comes in to put her name on the board and meet B but doesn’t linger.
After she leaves, I find B another pair of PJs and a washcloth, so I can get him cleaned up and ready for bed. It worries me that he is so quiet and withdrawn through the whole thing. I made myself a note to contact the kids’ therapist as soon as possible, but I wonder if I should try to call while we are here. Maybe in the morning.
Riff and Simone start gathering their stuff to get ready for bed. They take turns in the bathroom, and I move to set up my space over by B’s bed again. I don’t know if it’s the right move, if he will even want me if he wakes up. But nothing has happened to change the promise I made to be here, so here is where I’m going to be.
In the dim light of the room, after Simone and Riff are settled in for the night, I sit in my chair knowing I’m not sleeping anytime soon. I’m so far past exhausted, but my brain is too occupied by the parade of uncertainties running through my thoughts to allow sleep to settle in.
I work on my notes and lists. One list is for the critical phone calls I need to make tomorrow. The top two slots on that list are the kids’ therapist and the lawyer.
Digging out my phone and the lawyer’s business card, I pull up a browser and start to search. His website says that he specializes in family and estate law. The reviews leave me with no doubt about his legitimacy.
It’s a relief knowing he should be able to clear up the legal issues. But I’m also afraid of just what that clarity might mean. For all of us.
After a few more minutes browsing, I close out and plug my phone in. Propping my feet up in the other chair, I lean my head back and close my eyes. Tomorrow will be here soon enough, and I can’t do anything more until then.
Sounds from the hall wake me. Glancing around, I see that Riff is already up with his bed packed away and looking showered. I have no idea how I managed to sleep through, not only the night, but the sounds of him getting ready. Simone and B are still asleep.
I grab my phone from the charger and see that it is already after six-thirty. “Hey, you’re up early.” Riff looks over.
“Couldn’t sleep. B-Rad whimpered a couple of times through the night, and I was worried he’d wake up scared and upset, so I never really fell asleep.” He is watching B as he talks.
“You should have woken me. I would have sat up with him.” He shrugs, so I let it go.
“Has anyone been in?” I get up and stretch my back. Sleeping in a chair sucks.
“The nurse came in once to check him, but that was a while ago.” He looks like he is debating whether to say something. “Um… do you mind… can I grab a hot chocolate?” I can tell it kills him to ask me.
“Sure.” I grab my wallet from my purse and give him a handful of ones. “Here, in case there is something you want later. You mind grabbing me a coffee?”
He
nods. “I can do that. Thanks.”
When he leaves, I head over to the bathroom for a quick cleanup, deciding to wait to shower until I get home. I pull my hair out of the mess that sleeping with it up has left and put it in a low tail at the back of my neck. A quick wash of my face and brush of my teeth, and I’m as ready as I’m going to be.
Back in the room, Simone is sitting up and rubbing her eyes. Riff returns with three cups, having grabbed something for his sister as well, and passes them out.
Simone sits, sipping her drink. “How long before they let him go home?”
“Mid-morning at the earliest would be my guess.” I sit back down. “If we don’t hear something after breakfast, I’ll ask.”
Riff and Simone work on putting her bed back together, then she heads to the bathroom with the bag Jules brought yesterday. Riff comes over and takes the chair by the window.
He looks defeated this morning. It is such a different look from the grieving and angry Riff I’ve been seeing.
“Thanks. For standing up for him last night. For all of us.” He sounds so genuine, I struggle to not let it trip me up emotionally.
I’m in awe at what a great brother he seems to be. Even through his own emotional upheaval and anger, he has shown his care and concern for both Simone and B, doing what he can to look out for them every step of the way. It’s impressive for a kid his age.
I reach over and pat his leg. “I promised you yesterday I would do everything I could. I meant every word. Besides, it felt kinda good to knock her down a notch.”
I get the small smirk I was hoping for, however short-lived, then he looks away, and the moment is gone. This young man runs ocean deep at his core, but either doesn’t want, or know how, to express those depths.
The door opens, and Sadie walks over to where B is just starting to stir. He wakes when she starts taking his vitals. I’m extra careful with him, fearing another round of tears.
“Hey, sweetie, how are you feeling this morning?” Things with him feel tense, and I’m worried he blames me. I didn’t realize how comfortable I’d gotten with him until it wasn’t easy or comfortable anymore.
His eyes are sad, but dry. “I’m hungry, and my side is sore. Can I go pee?” He looks at Sadie.
“Sure thing. Let’s get you up.” He is still taking it slow, but he is moving a bit easier this morning.
Back in bed, he sits with Dean while Riff and Simone sit on either side at the foot of the bed. Sadie finishes up and leaves. The kids decide to watch TV again until breakfast arrives. Once again, there is a tray for each of us. B is excited that he finally gets his pancakes.
Not long after the breakfast trays are picked up, Dr. Lee drops in. “I hear we had a rough night last night. How are you feeling this morning, B-Rad?”
He tells her what he told Sadie about his side being sore. Dr. Lee looks at his side and presses around the edges. “It’s a little irritated, like he’s strained the area a bit, but nothing is torn or infected, and the glue is still in place.” She has me come and look, so I know what looks normal and how to tell if there are any changes.
After she washes up, she comes over to me. “If he had popped the glue or had torn anything internally, I would have kept him longer, but things still look good. Just keep an eye on them for any changes. A nurse will be in with care instructions, what to do at home and what to be watching for as well as your discharge papers. Once those are filled out, you’ll be good to go home.”
She shakes my hand and goes back to B. “Don’t do anything to pull on that side. We want it to heal up, so you can get back to playing, okay?” She smiles and tousles his hair as she says it. With a wave, she is out of the room.
“I’m going home? Will Dylan be there?”
Well shit! The hopeful look on his face cracks my heart in two. He still doesn’t know he isn’t going home. I could do with a little more sunshine for a change.
I sit on the edge of his bed and take his hand. “No, sweetie. Remember? We talked about that last night.”
His face falls, so I squeeze his hand. “You are all going to come and stay with me for now. That way I can watch over you while you finish getting better. Jorie will even be there to see you.”
A few tears leak through, but thankfully that is all. I only get the smallest of nods before he asks to watch TV.
Knowing that we are looking at maybe another hour, I send Jules a text to make sure they will be at the house when we get there. This is going to be hard and awkward enough as it is. I want to make sure they will feel at least a little bit comfortable.
Jules: Already here. Russ has been hard at work. Jorie insisted on adding a few touches of her own. All’s good. See you soon!
Seeing that brings a grin to my face.
Me: I think you might need a cape to go with your new job.
Things move quickly after Dr. Lee’s visit. Sadie brings all the discharge papers and instructions to go over with me. In all the craziness and chaos, not once had I thought about how this trip to the hospital was being paid for, but I see on the discharge papers that it’s taken care of. I don’t question it.
I sign the papers, still feeling surreal about the fact that I’m signing off on things for someone I hardly know. Riff and Simone gather what few things we have around the room. Sadie leaves and comes right back with a wheelchair for B.
With one last look around to make sure we didn’t forget anything, I follow them out of the room.
Part 2
Chapter 15
The drive from the hospital has been quiet and tense. All three kids are visibly stressed. Going home should have been a positive, happy thing for B. There isn’t any happy in this because he isn’t going home. Not to the home he knows, anyway, or to anything familiar.
I have the radio on low just to help break up the silence. After sitting in a noisy hospital for over twenty-four hours, it’s easy to forget how quiet things can get, even driving on a busy road. The hospital is about at the halfway point between Dylan’s house and mine, so thankfully the drive doesn’t take long.
Looking at my house as I pull into the driveway, I wonder what they think. The house is a classic craftsman located in an older, but nice neighborhood. While it isn’t new, it is well-cared for. It has a big front porch with the iconic pillars supporting the roof. There are natural rock accents all along the lower half of the house and foundation. The wood shingle siding on the upper part of the house is a light sage green. I pull the car up in front of the detached garage that sits towards the side and back of the house and park.
Riff helps B get out while Simone and I grab our bags and head in through the side door. The door opens into the mud room and I head left through the kitchen at the back of the house and into the dining room in the middle of the house. Directing them to set their things on the table, I move into the living room, heading to the front of the house to look for Jules. It’s an open floor plan, with pillars marking the boundaries of the individual rooms, so you can see all the way from the living room at the front to the kitchen in the back. Jules is just coming down the stairs to meet us as Riff, Simone and B come into the room behind me.
I motion back to where we came in. “Mud room, kitchen.”
I point to the open space where the table is. “Dining room, and through that door on the left is my room.”
Turning back to the front, I gesture, “and over there on the right, next to the front door is a bathroom as well as a coat and storage closet. Come on upstairs. I’ll show you around the rest of the house and get B settled in.”
Jules greets us as we walk over to the stairs. She hugs me tightly but doesn’t linger. Letting the kids and me go first, she follows. When we get to the top of the stairs, I gesture to the bright, open space to the right that spans the front of the house. “This is my office. There is a linen closet straight ahead. On the left in the middle of the ha
ll is the bathroom.”
“There are two bedrooms up here and a finished space in the basement that has a bathroom. I thought you might like your own spaces so I asked Russ and Jules to set it up that way, but you guys can decide what works best for you. I want you to feel comfortable. If you’d rather share, that’s fine. We can always rearrange.”
Suddenly feeling unsure, I begin questioning everything. The last thing I want is to do something that makes this situation more uncomfortable or difficult.
“We have our own rooms at home, and I don’t want to sleep in the same room with B-Rad or Riff because they snore really bad sometimes, but I don’t want to be too far from B-Rad in case he gets scared or something.”
It’s frustrating to have an eleven-year-old point out something that should have been obvious to me, that B would be the most likely to react badly to such drastic changes. He is still too young to fully understand, so it will be harder on him.
“Okay. I had some ideas of what might work, but feel free to speak up if you don’t like them or want to change something.”
B is leaning against Riff’s side, already wearing down from all this activity.
Walking toward the bathroom, I turn right just as I get into the hall. “Simone, you think you’d be okay in here?”
The rooms aren’t huge, but there is enough space for a full-sized bed on the wall to the left of the door with a nightstand next to it. There is a path around the bed to comfortably walk, but not much more than that.
Simone comes in behind me and looks around. She pokes her head into the small walk-in closet, then walks past the tall dresser in the corner and along the foot of the bed, before heading over to the other side of the bed. There is a large dormer with three open windows and a bench seat with built-in cubbies underneath. I could easily picture her sitting there and drawing.
There is a breeze coming through the open windows, making everything feel fresh. All the trim is white, and the walls are a soft gray that, in certain light, has a faint purple tint to it. The cushion on the window seat is a darker tone of gray than the walls, and there are several pillows ranging in shades from a heather purple to a deep amethyst. The iron framed bed has a heather purple comforter with amethyst sheets. I’d picked the colors a few years ago because I wanted it to be something Jorie would like, yet not feel like a little kid’s room since I also use it for guests.