by Simon Archer
“Right.” I nodded and then summoned sixteen more Archers. “Coordinate on the same one and be sure to bring it down. Let me know when you’re in position.” As they moved away, I pinged Queenie over the link. “You busy?”
“I am just helping the villagers process Samlon, master. Do you require my assistance?” Queenie asked.
“Yeah, actually. I’m going to summon you to me. Let me know when you’re ready to come.”
“Just give me a few moments, master,” she replied, and I nodded though she couldn’t see it before turning to Thera.
“I’m going to have Queenie come too. If for some reason we don’t down the bird, maybe she can fly after it and take one down.” Only, as I finished speaking, Thera was giving me a strange look. “What?”
“Nothing,” Thera said as she smiled at me. “I just forget that you’re not really like me, like us. You have so many tools at your disposal and so much knowledge.” She gestured at the forest where the hobgoblins had ventured. “You just summon creatures to help you, and they all have such useful skills.”
“Well, it’s not really that. I mean, it is nice to have them, but knowing how to use them is a thing.” I started to get embarrassed. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” She gave me a kiss on the cheek. “I’m glad you’re on our side.”
“Me too,” I said as Queenie pinged me.
“I am ready to go now, master. Sorry I was not quicker.”
“It’s no problem,” I said, summoning her to my side. Man, being able to move my summons to me was a great skill. “How are you?”
“I am well, master.” She nodded. “What is it you require of me?”
“I’m going to have the archers launch an attack on one of the Quetzals.” I shot the picture of my plan to her over the link. “If they fail, I need you to take it down… You’re authorized to use your Final Sting.”
“Understood, master,” Queenie said. “I’ll go now.” Then she hustled forward and disappeared into the brush.
“I suppose we should join them,” Thera said as she watched the ant queen go. “You make it seem so easy, but this is a big deal. Taking down a Quetzalcoatlus, I mean.”
“Yeah, I sort of figured that.” I smirked. “We’re just really good at taking down crazy strong monsters after the last world. It was filled with monsters.” I paused a beat. “Actually, you saw some of them. The Sharktopus I summoned during the battle with the Oranges.”
“That creature will live in my nightmares for many nights to come.” Thera shivered. “I’m not sure how you overcame such a creature, but the fact that you did speaks volumes. Perhaps when compared to that, a Quetzalcoatlus isn’t a big deal.” She gave me a peck on the cheek before hustling off. “Now come, I wish to see your plan in action.”
“Right,” I said as I followed after her, and once I got to the edge of the clearing, I shot a quick round-robin ping to all my hobgoblins to confirm they were in position and targeting the same bird. After that, I made sure Queenie was ready, and once she acknowledged me with a “Yes, master,” I ordered their attack.
An instant later, arrows burst from all directions and slammed into the closest Quetzal, a medium-sized bird with bright red feathers. The creature shrieked in pain and tried to rise, its great wings flapping, but it seemed to struggle on the fact that it had over a dozen arrows lodged into various parts of its bodies.
The other birds took off in a flurry of wings as my archers launched a second volley at the Quetzal, and as it flailed around, blood streaming from its massive body, Queenie burst from the foliage, dagger in hand.
She smashed into the Quetzal’s face dagger first like a fucking wrecking ball that basically reduced its skull to pink mist.
Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Quetzalcoatlus.
The attack reminded me of when she’d taken out the Forest Giants what felt like forever ago in the Bazaar when we’d fought against Gobta. Only this time, well, we weren’t quite fighting for our lives. That would come later when we dealt with Titania.
Now, though, it was time to claim my prize.
“Wow,” Thera mumbled to herself as I strode from the bushes and moved toward the downed flying dinosaur creature.
“I have killed it as you asked, master,” Queenie said as she smiled brightly at me, which was made all the crazier because she was covered in gore. “Would you like me to summon some ants to process the body?”
“In a minute,” I said as I used Auric Extraction on the corpse. “Thank you, by the way. You were awesome.
Pattern: Quetzalcoatlus has been learned. Would you like to create a Quetzalcoatlus?
I did, but that could wait a moment. “Okay, Queenie. You can clean up the corpse now.” I nodded to Thera. “Anything, in particular, we should know about them before we cut it up?”
“Yes, actually, but I can work with Queenie on it.” Thera hefted her club. “That way, you can do whatever it is you do with the bodies to make your summons.”
“Okay, sounds good.” I nodded to the two of them then ordered a pair of Hobgoblins to collect the arrows they’d shot. Once that was done, I dismissed the rest of the Archers and looked at the character sheet for the Quetzal.
Which was when I realized it was a lot weaker than I’d given it credit for because the one I could summon would only be able to carry about two hundred pounds or so, and that was a lot less than we required. It sort of made sense but was disappointing since I’d hoped they’d have been as strong as they had been in Ark, but that was just a video game, and this was…
I opted not to finish that thought and instead summoned my Quetzal.
“Hey, Red,” I said as I walked up to the ancient beast and put my hand on its snout. “How are you?”
It didn’t really respond so much as it delicately lowered its head for a bob.
“I’m sorry to have killed you, but see, my friends and I need a ride across the world, and we were hoping you could help.” I patted its shoulder. “Would it be okay if I tried to ride you?”
In response, the massive bird lowered itself down so I could climb on its back. I’ll be honest, I was a bit scared as I climbed on. Not because I was worried it would buck me off or anything, but more because I could fall and die once we were in the air.
Still, I mitigated that as best I could and used a couple of loops of rope to make a makeshift harness to keep myself on the birds back. Then I pumped a bit of extra Aura into the creature to make it stronger. Once I’d temporarily moved its weight limit up another fifty or so pounds by expending half my Aura, I waved to my friends.
“Here goes nothing,” I called, and as they all looked at me, I commanded Red to fly. The Quetzal leapt into the air, and I held onto my harness for all I was worth as it took to the sky and did a sort of lazy circle around the clearing.
I’ll be honest, it was the best thing I’d ever done and also the most terrifying. However, I learned what I most wanted to learn. Because of the problem with the weight, being in the air constantly sapped my Aura, which meant that while we’d be able to fly for a while, we’d definitely have to stop periodically to regen, which was still a hell of a lot better than walking through said jungle.
I took another couple loops and then landed in the clearing to find Thera standing there wide-eyed.
“I cannot believe you can fly like that,” Thera said in awe.
“Well, how would you like a ride back?” I asked her as I summoned another Quetzal.
“You mean, I can ride it as well?” She stared at the new creature.
“That’s the plan, right? Anyone who comes to help us save the Orange Village will have to fly…” I watched her, worried that this might be too much.
“Yes!” Thera cried, and before I could blink, she had launched herself onto the Quetzal’s back.
“What do I do?” she asked as she looked at me.
“First, rope it like I did,” I said and then dismounted Red so I could show her. Once she was securely
roped in, I turned to Queenie. “Care to join us?”
“I will if you command it, master,” she hedged, “but I would prefer to stay here until we’re done processing the Quetzal in the way Thera would like. I will join you after if that’s okay?”
“It’s fine.” I nodded to her. “Let me know when you’re ready to return, and I’ll summon you, or you can fly back. Whatever you want.”
“Thank you, master,” she said with a bow. “Now, if you’ll excuse me…”
“Right,” I said as I smiled at her. Then I looked up at Thera, who was watching us intensely. “What?”
“It is strange how you ask her opinions when you can just order her to do whatever you like. Most would not do that.” Thera shrugged. “It is how I know you are a worthy man to follow.”
“Aww, thanks,” I said, suddenly embarrassed. “So, you ready to fly?”
“Yes!” Thera replied as I mounted Red and tied myself in.
“Well, then let’s go.” I mentally commanded the Quetzals to take off and fly us back to camp, and honestly, I was glad they knew what to do with that information because the way Thera hooted and hollered with joy as we flew was so endearing that I’d scarcely noticed the journey.
Hell, I probably wouldn’t have noticed we’d landed if not for the members of the Blue Palm Clan hooting and hollering at our arrival.
“Garrett requires us to face the threat attacking the Orange clan!” Thera cried as she leapt from the back of her Quetzal. “Prepare the supplies for war!” She gestured at me. “For he has tamed the skies, and we will take the fight to our enemies and let the rivers run with their blood!” Then as everyone cheered and ran to comply with her orders, she practically pulled me off Red, and the moment my feet hit the ground, she kissed me.
The next few moments were a blur of movement as we stumbled back toward her hut. To be honest, I’m not sure how or when I’d lost my clothes, but all I knew was that Thera was beautiful and her body was pressed to mine.
36
Gobta
“So, what do you think?” I announced proudly as I swept my golden brush to one side. “Magnificently terrible, is it not?”
What I presented was my first completed chamber of what would become the most terrifying, blood-washed dungeon across the multiverse. It took a while to bring it up to my specifications, I am very exacting in my standards of death, maiming, and torture, after all, but I felt that I finally had what I affectionately named ‘The Welcome Mat’ up to snuff.
“I don’t get it,” was the immediate reply from my audience. “I don’t see anything that would scare a minnow here.”
That audience in the bowels of Poseidon was small, consisting only of Organus and my soon-to-be-test-subject, good old Crabface, and it was he who had spoken. Not that there was much good about Crabface, to be fair. I had to admit, I shared Barnabas’s, the great Ice King of Amorphie, opinion on him, in that I too would have immediately forgotten about Crabface after killing him.
Still, even though Crabface was a bit of a failure, no matter how powerful he might have seemed, I couldn’t help but wonder if he wouldn’t make a fine addition to G-Unit. What can I say? I love an underdog story. Perhaps that was why I asked my liege to allow me to use him for this particular purpose. Garrett was more than game, especially once I explained that no true harm would happen to the giant Amorphie-crab-man.
Now, to be fair to Crabface, the stone chamber I had excavated with the power of the golden brush looked surprisingly innocent for something that came from my mind. I had made sure to have the proper décor of a Dungeon-Necromancer-Lord-King-Master’s entryway. The skulls of a thousand species were lovingly carved into the walls to create a breathtaking mosaic of death, and the floors had an irregular pattern of marble tiles, just off-kilter enough to make any sane person question which were pressure plates and which were safe to stand on.
But, despite all the general decoration, there were no flaming pits, no walls of spikes, no slavering hordes of Hobgoblins, and certainly no undead beasts hungering for the flesh of the living. Hence, to the eyes of a former Amorphie high priest turned cursed giant crab-man, it was not the least bit fearful at all.
Organus wasn’t fooled, but why would he be? The elder Tartaran was tied into the very stones of this place, and it was through the power he infused into the brush I held that I could easily work the wonders I had here, though, I could have done this on my own in time. I was Gobta the Hobgoblin King, after all.
“If that is what you think, my friend,” I said with a disarmingly wide grin that showed all my sharp teeth, “you could always give it a closer look without Test Mode on.” When Crabface actually made to move past me and scuttle through the entry arch, I thrust my arm out to bar his way. “Stop! No, no, I wasn’t serious!”
“What?” he grumbled, his deep, rough voice rumbling in his shell. “Do you think I can’t take it? I can’t find a way through your little deathtrap or whatever it is?” Then he laughed at the very concept.
I almost let Crabface march off to his doom… but doing that could mess with Garrett’s plans. The last thing he needed was to have his Aura drained suddenly and unexpectedly as it tried to keep the cocky fish-crab-man alive. That was even assuming Garrett could keep him alive, what with my liege off doing work in a whole other dimension. And, well, Garrett and I were tight, so I wasn’t going to do anything that could get him in a bind or get his minions splattered.
We were bros. No homo.
“It doesn’t matter what I think,” I said simply. “It matters what I know, which is that you will die a screaming, horrible, burning, dissolving, bloody death if I let you step in there.” I lowered my arm to clear his path. “Which means Test Mode.”
With that, I looked over at Organus and gave a nod to the tentacular Tartaran. His tentacles flicked around a few times, a gesture I had learned in our days of dungeon experimentation as a nod. As he made the motion, a message chimed across my eyes and in my head:
Your dungeon room (The Welcome Mat) is now set to Test Mode. All traps, weapons, enchantments, and minions will neither inflict nor take lethal damage. However, all sensations will be completely realistic unless you manually change the level of sensation. Would you like to do so now?
Wonder if this is what it was like for Garrett when he was the god of this system. In the process of building this one room of ultimate doom, I had seen more of these messages than I ever had in my time with my liege. I could only imagine how many more of these constant pings and annoyances he had to deal with. It made me respect him just a little more.
Maybe it also meant I was getting to be more of a god myself, I considered as I mentally told the dungeon no. After all, it’s not much of a test if I altered the results, right?
I lifted my arm and stepped aside with an evil grin. “There, Crabface. I look forward to your imminent success.”
“Of course, I’ll succeed!” Crabface flexed the impressive muscles of his Amorphie upper half, then stepped across the threshold. “Because I am an Amorphie high priest, and my name is—”
Before he could say his name, his entire crab-man body set foot in the room, and then all hell broke loose… in a simulated fashion, anyway. As his right front leg clacked down on just the right place, Crabface let out a sudden squeak of pain, the kind of cry that you’d expect from a paper cut and no real wound. He pulled back that leg in alarm, just as a simulated wall slammed down to seal the chamber off from the hallway in which Organus and I stood. The cool thing was, as it was a simulation of shadow magic, we could still observe the festivities.
Though, to be fair, I wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference between simulation and reality. That was the immense power of the dungeon core in play.
“The mithril needles were an insightful touch,” Organus noted, his tone cool and clinical. “Thin enough to be near invisible, yet hard enough to punch through almost any armor.” He let out a gurgling cough as Crabface spun in shock to see himself trapped. Alrea
dy, his face was contorting, the special surprise dosed on the spikes flowing through his bloodstream. “That and you went ahead and made them invisible, anyway.”
The agony in Crabface’s eyes as he staggered back let me know that he knew that the poison, while invisible, had been made by an incredibly handsome man, and that man was Gobta, the Hobgoblin King.
“Well, I think that’s fair,” I mused. “Any true dungeon delver would be sweeping the floor to search for triggers or pressure plates, and they’d feel the needles.” I gestured towards the phantom wall and the stomping, bumbling monster who was now staggering back towards the trigger for the next delight. “But Crabface here is so full of himself that he’s just stomping--”
It wasn’t the crab-man’s scream that cut me off as his flesh was currently dissolving from the inside out. No, it was the terrible grinding sound of the left wall opening wide. Even louder was the tremendous thunder of, well, I lost count of how many gallons of near-freezing water in the reservoir beyond. It funneled through the wide-gapped grating and slammed into the entrance room with skull-crushing force.
Now, Crabface was made of stern stuff, too stern to get crushed by all the water, and he almost looked amused as he was thrown against the far wall. After all, he was an amphibious creature… but I expected that ninety percent of our potential invaders wouldn’t be. Besides, it wasn’t like water was the only thing that was waiting in that trap.
Two dozen glowing jewels rushed forward through the phantom waves, the precursor to what was coming through the dark waves. See, one big plus to working with Organus’s core was that it brought with all the knowledge of the mega-predators of Amorphie. Now, I had intimate experience fighting, killing, and being killed by these things, so when I wanted an introductory experience for my dungeon, I knew just what to pick.
When the jewels sparked, they revealed the sleek forms of the spiny purple scales of Prince Fishers. The smaller cousins of the feared King Fishers that dwelled in the Amorphie oceans, I found that they were even meaner than their dragon-sized kin. Also, they were a lot easier to fit into death traps, so there was that.