The In Death Christmas Collection

by J. D. Robb

  “Don’t ask me.” Roarke only shrugged. “I’m no fan of the game.”

  “After whatever it was, Copley and the guy he was playing against got into a shouting match that went into a pushy-shovey match. The other guy ended up in the water trap thing.”

  “Extremely poor sportsmanship.”

  “Wet guy threatens to kick Copley’s ass, sue off what’s left of it. He’s pulling himself out of the drink,” Eve continued. “People are starting to zip up in those cart things, and Copley backs down, lots of apologies. Buys the guy a high-class putter. And according to the caddy, bad-mouths the wet guy every chance he gets.”

  “We have poor sport who has a poor temper to match, and is also a cowardly backbiter.”

  “That’s what I see. So back to Ziegler and that golf game. Ziegler’s clearly winning by the sixth hole.” She paused to drink. “Who decided how many holes there had to be?”

  “Again, I only play when I can’t avoid it. Ask someone else.”

  “Maybe I will. Meanwhile, Ziegler’s ahead, Copley’s bitching. But then Copley ordered up drinks – prime brew. He stuck to water and power drinks while Ziegler got half cut and, being half cut, lost his focus and his form.”

  “And Copley won the round?”

  “Yeah, rubbed it in some, but took Ziegler to the nineteenth hole for more drinks. I get why they call the bar the nineteenth hole, but why are there eighteen to begin with?”

  “It’s as good a number as any,” Roarke supposed. “Why four bases in baseball?”

  “Because they make a diamond.”

  “One might ask what a diamond has to do with baseball, but I won’t or we’ll be at this half the night. Let’s just finish off the golf.”

  “Right. Copley had him back a couple times, but with the brother-in-law along, and that’s about it for the golf portion. Then Peabody came up with more weight, but of the gossip variety. Tales of cheating, divorce, cheating, elopements.”

  “I may need more wine,” Roarke considered.

  “Quick version. Copley cheated on first wife, cheated on almost-fiancée with current wife, and may have cheated on current wife before elopement with almost-fiancée.”

  “He keeps busy.”

  “Yeah, and for both of them it’s all about sex and money. Not for pleasure, but for ego and power. They had a lot in common only Ziegler was blackmailing and sleeping his way up, Copley married his way up.”

  “Yet the side piece – this would be Felicity?” He tapped the photo on the board.

  “Yeah, Shipshewana Felicity.”

  “She’s lovely and very young. Shipshewana Felicity doesn’t have money or social status.”

  “She provides the sex and the adoration, and makes Copley feel superior.”

  “If there aren’t any feelings, genuine ones, involved, why not find that sex and adoration with money?”

  “He wouldn’t be the first who lost it over big eyes and tits. Maybe this time out he wants to be the one with the big bucks, comparatively. But if his wife cuts him off, he can’t afford his current lifestyle. He can afford a good one, one a lot of people would be happy with, but not what he’s gotten used to. So Ziegler held that threat.”

  Eve studied her wine. “I have to go up there, don’t I? I have to go back up there with the crazy people in the ballroom.”

  “That’s up to you.”

  “Which means I have to go up there and step between caterers and decorators. I’m not wrong for preferring murderers.”

  “I’d never say so. But before you go face the worst, I have an early Christmas gift for you.”

  “We’re almost there, why does it have to be early?”

  “It’s for tonight, and as Trina will be here within the hour —”

  “Why! Why did you have to say the name!” She gripped her hair in her fists, turned a fast circle. “I was mellowing.”

  “You’ll muddle through it. In any case, she’ll need this.”

  He held out a small, wrapped box. Eve eyed it suspiciously.

  “Is it something she’s going to slather on me?”

  “I wouldn’t think so. Open it, find out for yourself.”

  She dealt with the fussy ribbon, tore at the shiny paper.

  The classy box had the name of the jewelry embossed on the lid.

  Ursa.

  The generational family-run shop which had provided her with a solid lead on another killer. She remembered Ursa – the dignified older man who’d been so appalled he’d purchased antique watches stolen from dead parents by their ungrateful and murderous son.

  “You pay attention.”

  “To you? Always.”

  “I don’t know what it is, but it means a lot you went there.”

  “It’s a good place, as you said. Run by good people. They asked that I give you their best.”

  She shook the box, heard the soft rattle. “This probably is.”

  He laughed. “We all agreed it suited you.”

  She opened it. It was some sort of comb. From its jewel-encrusted peak fell a rich medley of diamonds and rubies.

  “Trina will know how to work it into your hair.”

  “You always figure out another way to hang shiny things on me.” She shook it lightly, watched the stones dance. “It moves. It’s really beautiful. It looks old – in a good, classy way.”

  “Early twentieth century, reputedly a wedding gift from groom to bride. A few generations later, the fortune was squandered, and this, among other things, was sold. Mr. Ursa acquired it in an estate sale a couple years ago, and – he tells me – kept it in the vault, waiting for the right person. He thought you were, and so did I.”

  “Since you’re giving it to me now, I bet it goes with whatever I’m wearing later.”

  “I believe it does. You can judge for yourself, but I hope you’ll wear it.”

  “I’ll wear it.” She stepped up, kissed him. “Even though I’ll have to suffer through Trina sticking it in my hair.”

  “That’s love.”

  “Looks like. And so we’re even…”

  She went to her desk, opened a drawer, took out a small box with the same wrapping and ribbon. “One for you, early.”

  The flicker of surprise, the half smile told her she’d caught him off guard. “Really?”

  “You’re not the only one who can think about stuff.”

  “Apparently not. And it seems Ursa knows how to be discreet. He never mentioned he’d seen you.”

  “Maybe you got there first – but in that case, same goes.”

  Like Eve, he shook the box, then unwrapped it. He couldn’t begin to guess as buying jewelry of any kind wasn’t on her radar. But inside a small white flower made of mother-of-pearl and platinum nestled.

  “You don’t go for the shiny stuff – nothing but a wrist unit for you. But two can play. It’s a lapel thing. A white petunia.”

  “Yes, I see. Your wedding flower.”

  When he looked up, when those fabulous blue eyes met hers, she saw she’d hit the mark.

  “He made it. Mr. Ursa. I can’t take much credit. I just asked him if he could make up this little thing, and he did the rest. Small because you don’t go for the flash, but personal, I figured. And it holds on to the lapel with this little super magnet, so no pins or holes. His idea.”

  “You had it made for me?”

  “He did the work.”

  “It couldn’t mean more to me. The thought, or the symbol. The day you carried these flowers is one of the best days of my life.”

  She gave him a smirk. “One of?”

  He drew a gray button out of his pocket. “The day I met you, the day this dropped off that hideous suit you wore, is another.”

  “Sap.”

  “Guilty.”

  “Me, too.” She moved in, held him close. “I’m feeling pretty lucky. Even decorators, florists, caterers, and Trinas can’t take that away.” She tipped her head up. “It almost makes me want to have a party.”

  L
aughing again, he kissed her.

  “Aw, look how sweet you look!”

  Eve glanced over, watched Mavis Freestone bounce in. She wore red tights with boots of the same color that slicked up toward the crotch a sparkling white top barely managed to cover. Her hair was a tumbling mass of silver-streaked blue.

  “It can’t be that late,” Eve said.

  “I’m early. Way early. I came with Trina. She wanted plenty of time to set up. Leonardo’s hanging with Bella until later, and he’ll zip uptown after the sitter comes. I figured I could get dressed here, surprise him, because my outfit is fan-mega-tastic. And even if he did design it, he hasn’t seen me in it yet.”

  She danced over to them, fairy-like, even on the skinny heels of her boots, wrapped arms around them both. “Merry-squared! I so totally love Christmas and you guys and everybody else.”

  “How do you feel about caterers?”

  “I’ve got goodwill pumping out of my pores. Extreme.”

  “Then come with me.”

  When Mavis stepped into the ballroom she gasped. Then she squealed. Then she bounced.

  “This is ultramazing! Holy wow, Dallas, it’s like a vid set or a fairyland. It’s like both and with elegante tossed in.”

  Eve took a long look. The massive trees, the lights, the flowers – the plantings that looked as if they grew out of pristine mounds of snow. All the pale gold, shimmering over tables and chairs, the bold red, the bright white, the arbor of greenery and crystals around the fireplace, combined to just that. Ultramazing.

  A woman in sharp black marched in, gave Eve the eye. “Why isn’t the terrace bar set up? We don’t have time to stand around doing nothing.”

  Mavis patted the woman’s arm. “She’s so totally not one of you. She’s the boss. Hey, you guys are going to pass drinks, too, right? The bubbly for sure. And little nibbly food. I so abso-poso love the bubbly and little nibbly food. If you need to practice, I’m all in for volunteer. Hey, Dallas, maybe you should have nibbly trays in that other room, you know the one. People hang in there sometimes, and nibbly trays would be mag.”

  “Nibbly trays,” Eve directed the woman in black, “in the salon where the gifts are displayed.”

  “Of course. We’ll set that up.”

  “Great.” Eve turned to Mavis. “Anything else?”

  “Oh… let’s see.”

  For the next few minutes, Eve entertained herself watching Mavis send the head caterer scrambling to comply with suggestions, wishes, additions. Because it was Christmas, she opted for mercy, and pulled Mavis away.

  “That was fun,” Mavis commented.

  “Not for her, but yeah. Best, everything’s under control, I kept my part of the deal, and Summerset can polish it all off.”

  “Now we get to groom. My favorite pre-party activity.”

  “Why?”

  Mavis hooked her arm through Eve’s. “Because it feels good, it smells good, and when it’s all done, you look good. But we’re not going to look good.”

  “We’re not?”

  “Hell no. We’re going to look ultramazing. Take it easy on Trina, okay?”

  “Again, I say why?”

  “She’s still a little whacked about finding the dead guy. Sima’s dead guy. She’s been putting on the brave since she’s looking out for Sima, but she let it drop with me. So I know she’s still pretty whacked about it. Most people don’t find dead bodies unless they’re you. Finding them, I mean, not being them.”

  “She wouldn’t have found a dead body if she hadn’t been where she shouldn’t have been. Okay, okay,” Eve muttered when Mavis just looked at her.

  “It’s worse maybe because she knew him and really didn’t like him.”

  “Nobody really liked him.”

  “Sima did. Mostly.”

  “Did you know him?”

  “Nope. I don’t use Buff Bodies. I started using Fit Plus. It’s ‘plus’ because they have all these parent/kid classes, or kid classes. We all go, my honey bear, our Bellisima and me, when we can. Or one of us goes with Bella. Completely family friendly, so we like it. But I know Sima a little, and Trina gave me the whole lowdown on the dead guy before he was dead, and more LD after he was. She’s a little bit freaked you’re going to arrest her for something, but you’re not. Right?”

  “I would if I could just to keep her out of my hair. Literally.”

  With Mavis, Eve turned into her bedroom.

  Trina stood, quietly arranging what Eve thought of as her instruments of torture on some sort of table beside some sort of salon chair. Another table – a massage table, Eve recognized – stood in front of the simmering fire.

  “Hey!” Her voice bright, Mavis bounced to Trina. “Dallas is all done, and early! We can get this part of the party started. How about we have a drink?”

  “I want a shower,” Eve said. “But go ahead.”

  “When you’re done, if you’d come out in just a robe,” Trina said, voice subdued, eyes on her tools. “We’ll start with the massage and body glo.”

  “What the hell’s a body glo?”

  “It’s a hydrator with a light sheen. We can test it on your arm to make sure you approve. I also brought the no-sheen if you decide against it.”

  Eve narrowed her eyes. She didn’t like the real Trina, with her brisk bossiness and sneaky ways. But she liked this fake, mealymouthed Trina even less.

  “Whatever.” Eve spotted the gift bag on her dresser, poked at it, noted Trina’s name on the tag. Roarke had, as promised, seen to it.

  “This is yours.” Eve picked up the bag, pushed it at Trina.

  “What?”

  “A thing. A Christmas thing.”

  Eve turned away, started toward the bath, spun back when she heard the blubbering sobs.

  Trina, with her tower of swirly hair, wept into her hands while Mavis cooed and stroked.

  “Shit. Shit! Why is she doing that? Stop doing that. I mean it.”

  “It’s my fault. Sima’s a wreck, and it wouldn’t be so bad if she hadn’t seen him. He’d still be dead, the fucker, but she wouldn’t have seen him so she wouldn’t be so bad. It’s my fault. And you gave me a present.”

  “I’ll take it back if you stop that. I don’t even know what the hell it is. Roarke did it. Go find Roarke if you’re going to do that.”

  “I thought, what if I’d talked her into going and whoever killed him was there, and killed her. I thought —”

  “Snap out of it!” Eve slapped out the order, causing Mavis’s mouth to drop open in shock, and Trina’s head to jerk up.

  “What-if’s aren’t dick. It didn’t happen. It’s not your fault she went there. Did you drag her kicking and screaming? And even then, he’d’ve been dead anyway. He was a shit. An asshole. A rapist. A blackmailer and a cheat. I’ll find who killed him because that’s my job, but if she’s wasting tears over him, somebody needs to tell her she’s just stupid. And if you’re blubbering over what can’t be changed anyway, you’re stupid.”

  “Dallas,” Mavis began.

  “Shut up a minute. You want what-if? What if she’d gone back in there to get her things or to confront him, and found him herself? Alone. Without you there to hold it together? She didn’t have the first clue what to do. You did. You tagged me. The fucker deserved more than toeless socks and itching powder – not that it was your place to give that to him – but he didn’t deserve dead. He deserved a couple decades in a cage, but am I blubbering because I don’t get to give him what he deserved? So snap out of it.”

  There was a moment of absolute silence. Then Trina sniffed. “You’re right. You’re fucking A right. And when I’m done here I’m going back and having a come-to-Jesus with Sima, even if I have to get her drunk first.”

  “Great. Now that it’s settled, I want a shower.” She remembered, pulled the box from her pocket. “Roarke wants this in my hair.”

  Trina opened it. Both she and Mavis oooohed. Both she and Mavis swiped tears from their cheeks, looked back at Eve.<
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  “It’s a total winner,” Trina decreed. “I’m going to do something different with your hair.”

  “What? No. No, you’re not.”

  “Not with the cut or color. For Christ’s sake, have I fucked up your hair yet?”

  “No, but —”