by Amy Richie
“Really?” I pushed a whole slice of tomato into my mouth.
While she talked, Sasha piled her own tomatoes onto my plate. “Yeah, until about three years ago. Ben had an accident and lost most of his right arm. They had to relocate to Five.”
I nodded, my mouth too full to comment even if I wanted to.
“They knew that living on Seven made them ineligible for the reversal, but once they got to Five they applied right away. Some people there think the accident was on purpose, just so they could move.”
“That's not true.” The words had shot out quickly from my still half-full mouth.
“I agree.” Sasha didn't even raise an eyebrow. “We all lived on Seven together for a while before I came here.”
Of course they would have. Somehow, I always forgot that Sasha had a different life before she worked for Doctor Gourini.
“The fact that Ben survived the accident at all was unexpected. And even though it wasn't a secret that Shona wanted a baby, she chose Ben knowing full well he had already been selected for Seven. The accident was just that … an accident.”
I took a long drink of water while Sasha finished her food.
“If it weren't for the population control only keeping two boys this year, Shona and Ben might never have gotten a chance to be parents.”
I had never met Ben, but for Shona to give up everything and move to Seven with him must've meant he was a good man. Better than Sid.
As Sasha and I made our way back to our hall, uncomfortable thoughts of the man I had been forced to call husband began to creep into my head.
I don't know how long the lawman watched me with his dark, dark eyes, but I became aware of him when I was thirteen. He came to my father and told him he would marry me when I came of age.
Marriages only took place on Ortec between the growing season and the harvest season—a week long period of weddings and feasts before hard work again marked our days. Sid and I were married in the months that followed my fifteenth freezing season.
The year I was married to the lawman changed me into the girl I was.
And just what kind of person was I? I thought darkly. Was I the kind of girl who would lie to the leader of Ortec just to keep a baby who never should have existed to begin with?
I allowed myself the tiniest of sighs just before I pushed open door number six.
Maybe I was.
Chapter 14
The next several weeks were rough for Shona, and I watched as her once round face became angular and shallow, the skin turning a pale grey. I often fell asleep near the fire, waking up the next morning with Shona's coughs.
“This baby is going to kill me,” she gasped one grey-misted morning.
“Don't think that.” I moved forward quickly, searching for anything I could do to make her more comfortable. My anxiety grew when she didn't smack my hands away. “It won't be long now, and then it'll be over. Once you're holding your baby, it will all be worth it.”
“I hope it's a girl,” she replied listlessly. “I know we're not supposed to yet, but I already have a name picked out.” Her dark ringed eyes brightened.
“Can I hear it? I won't tell anyone.”
She glanced once at the door before she whispered, “Catherine.”
“It's pretty,” I whispered back.
“You were from Four, weren't you?”
I nodded quickly.
“What did your family grow?”
“Tomatoes.”
“Mmm.” She nodded.
“What do you do on Five?” The secret blazing between us made me brave enough to keep talking.
“We haven't been there long enough for them to trust us with anything big.” She didn't hesitate to answer, “Cleaning out the pens for the goats mostly.”
I didn't speak my mind over her words, instead running a cold washcloth over her forehead. I was sure cleaning the pens wasn't such an unimportant job, though. Someone had to do it and I was sure the goats appreciated it.
“After the baby comes,” Shona continued softly, “when we return with her, things will be different. They might let us start milking, or maybe even make the butter.” She closed her eyes, a small smile playing happily around her mouth.
Maybe babies did change things. However, from my experience, I knew people weren't quick to forgive faults in others.
“Would you like to sit up for a while and eat your breakfast?”
She shook her head before I'd finished talking, though, as I knew she would. “I don't want any breakfast.” It was a poor imitation of her usual snappish voice.
“Doctor Gourini said you should eat.”
“Why?” She glared across the bed at me. “So I can throw up again?”
“You need to keep your strength up.”
“I'm not eating. Now go away!”
***
A bright light flared suddenly, piercing through the darkness of the room I shared with Sasha. I sat up quickly in surprise, and in the next instant clutched my blanket tighter to my body.
“Sasha,” a voice hissed close to the door.
“What is it?” Sasha called back calmly. How could she sound so normal when my heart was racing away inside my chest?
“It's time. Aria is already at seven.” I could finally recognize the nurse behind the light.
“Seven? You should have come for me sooner.”
“She went fast. Hurry!”
I was still holding tight to my blanket, unable to process all that was being said when Sasha and the nurse hurried from the room. Time? Was it time for the babies to come already? Shona still had another few weeks, didn't she?
It took longer to get all of my clothes on by myself. Therefore, by the time I got down to our hall, things were mostly done. Sasha was hurrying back into Aria's room with a stack of clean towels, so I went straight to the nurse's desk.
“Are the babies coming?” I asked quietly.
“Aria has gone first. Two weeks early, but they did well. It's a girl!” The nurse beamed at me momentarily. However, realizing it was me, she just looked confused before turning awkwardly away.
“A girl?” My eyes widened slightly. It was one thing to see the women with their protruding bellies, and quite another to think of a baby girl who had now joined Ortec.
“Yeah, you can just imagine how excited Aria was. Both mother and baby are just fine … sleeping peacefully by now.” In her excitement, the nurse forgot herself again. With a small jerk, she turned away completely so I couldn't ask any further questions.
My eyes were still lit with excitement as I crept silently past the door Sasha had disappeared behind, and creaked open the familiar door marked as number six. I needn't have bothered, though; Shona was sitting up in her bed, waiting for me.
“It was Aria,” I answered her unspoken question. “She had a girl.”
“A girl.” Shona smiled and settled herself back against the pillows.
***
The next weeks brought two more girls to our hall, and finally—sixteen days after that unforgettable day when Aria had a daughter—the first boy was born. Tensions were high when Doctor Gourini announced the news to the group waiting anxiously in the lobby.
“The boy is healthy,” Doctor Gourini spoke firmly, “and he isn't the third so his future is secure.”
Sasha shifted the bundle she held in the crook of her arm, watching the doctor with the same rapt attention as everyone else. My attention was stolen by the mass of dark hair and tiny fingers just visible over the folds of the blanket. The baby slept peacefully with Sasha while her mother was nestled just a few doors away.
I was impatient for Shona to have her baby so I could hold her and croon over the small toes, but in the next instant I dreaded the moment. It brought me that much closer to my inevitable fate.
It was harder than ever to hide my stomach now that the world had unthawed and layers of clothes were almost impossible. Most days I took to hiding in Shona's room; she slept too often to pay muc
h attention to me. If I had to be out, I hid as much of myself as possible; behind bulging piles of clothes that I didn't really need to carry, or behind Sasha.
Just as I wished time would stop pelting me forward—ever closer to the day everyone would discover my shame—I also wished it would go faster, so I could be done waiting.
Chapter 15
“It's just Shona and Candice left,” Sasha commented softly. Her fingers worked quickly and expertly over a large ball of yarn, dyed blue by the weaves on Two.
“How did you get that?” I asked instead of dwelling on her words. Two more … and I needed them both to be girls so we had a better chance.
“I used to be a weaver.”
“I thought you were from Seven.”
“Not always,” she chuckled. “Let's see,” she gazed up at the ceiling as if unknown answers were written there, “I was twenty-three when I left Two to be married. I lived with my husband for seven years, then came here. So,” she continued loudly, “for most of my life I was a weaver.”
I watched her movements for several comfortable minutes.
“Actually, my parents were weavers, and they taught me. I still have a few friends there,” she teased, wiggling her eyebrows playfully. “Your baby will need a blanket.”
She held the material up high enough to reveal a form that was clearly a blue blanket in the making. “It's ...” A strange tightness cut off the rest of my words.
“I hope to have time to make another one before the baby comes. There's not much free time these days, though.” Her fingers never stopped moving.
“Usually I can only get pieces of yarn that I have to string together,” she continued happily, despite my lack of response. “I got lucky with this. It was meant for Veronica's baby, but then no one would use it. Thought it might bring bad luck or something. Nonsense if you ask me. Why let good yarn go to waste?”
I had never been one to hold much truth in luck myself—good or bad. Things just happened, and the way you reacted to them made the difference. Not luck.
“I'd say you have about three weeks, maybe four,” Sasha declared without changing tones. It took me a moment to realize she wasn't still talking about yarn. “Have you decided what to say to Avery?”
“Not much,” I replied. Thinking about what to say would only make it worse. Hopefully the words would just come to me when the time came.
“I suppose it is right not to dwell on it if it can be helped. We don't want people to think something is wrong with you.”
People already thought that.
“Well … more wrong,” Sasha corrected as if she heard my thoughts. She laughed at her own good humor, but my eyebrows drew closer together.
***
My heart was in my throat as I hurried to Shona's room the next morning. Only two more babies to go. If they were both girls, maybe I would be able to stay no matter what. If one of them was a boy, I would only be able to stay if I had a girl.
It was all coming to a close very quickly. Soon, my fate would be decided.
“You're late,” Shona half-growled when I poked my head around the door. She was too weak to sound serious. “Where have you been?”
“I must have slept too late,” I mumbled, keeping my eyes on the ground.
“Lazy girl, I've been waiting. Help me up.” She raised one arm into the air. We had changed Shona's beds to one of the high hospital beds weeks ago, but it was still an event to get her up and down.
“Is there something you need? I can get—”
“I need to get up,” she snapped.
Avoiding direct contact had kept my own condition undetected so far, but how could I disobey? I shuffled forward and took hold of one clammy hand. Two failed attempts later and Shona sat on the edge of her bed, breathing heavily with bright red cheeks … but sitting up.
“Has Candice had her baby yet?” she panted.
“She was at four last night.” I hadn't heard any news yet of a new arrival, though.
“Hope it's a girl.” She let her breath out heavily. “I didn't feel the baby move last night.”
“Doctor Gourini said that would happen when it gets closer to the time.”
“You'll stay here tonight.”
“Yes.” It might be better anyway. “Do you want to use the bathroom?”
“It's a girl!” We heard the shouts on the short journey down the hall. “Another girl!”
Shona sagged against me, but thankfully didn't fall. I understood her relief, even shared in some of it. Shona didn't need to worry now; it didn't matter what her baby was—boy or girl—they would be able to stay.
“Girls are better than boys,” she said heavily, just before shutting me out of the bathroom.
I wasn't so sure I agreed with her sentiments. I was a girl and I hadn't turned out so well. Barely seventeen and I was a widow in a home that wasn't my own and just a few weeks away from having a fatherless child. Girls weren't always better.
Shona surprised me by wanting to sit on one of the long lounges in the lobby instead of going straight back to her room. Sasha was already there when we arrived; I sank down beside her on the floor.
“She looks terrible,” she whispered low in my ear.
“The new baby? Why?” Was something wrong? Sasha had said things could go wrong, but I wasn't sure yet what to expect.
“I don't mean the baby,” she tutted, “I mean Shona.”
“Shona?” I glanced quickly at the woman I had spent most of my time with the last several months. Compared to the other women, she may have had darker shadows under her eyes, and maybe her cheeks were sunken in a little more. She was the only one among them that was still pregnant, so it was expected. “She'll look better after the baby comes.”
“You don't look that bad.” She lightly poked a finger into my side.
“Of course not, I can't let anyone know I'm pregnant, too!”
“I wouldn't be surprised if she has the baby tonight.” Sasha was still staring at Shona. “Look how far her stomach has dropped.”
“Dropped?” It still looked the same to me; it hadn't shrunk any. What was she talking about?
“Yeah,” she muttered in a low voice, “tonight.”
“I'm sleeping in her room tonight, she already asked me to.”
“Not a bad idea.”
Sasha was watching Shona while my thoughts raced away. What would Shona's baby be; and what would that mean for me and my baby? Would I be able to protect it like I wanted to? What would the leaders of Ortec say to me once they knew? Once everyone knew?
Chapter 16
I had barely closed my eyes, still caught in the strange place between waking and sleeping. Unfamiliar shapes of distant ships lurked just beyond my vision. If I could only reach the monstrous ship, I would be able to see the man with the green eyes again. I could tell him I was on the reserves, I would be able to make him stop. I hesitated, suddenly unsure if I wanted to see him at all.
I bolted awake with a scream still ringing through the air, only to realize it wasn't mine.
“Shona.” With much help from the wall, I crawled onto two feet. “Shona, what is it?”
She screamed again, clutching her stomach tightly.
“Is it time?” I danced with indecision, unsure if I should alert the doctor. The other women hadn't screamed like that when their time came. “Shona?”
I was saved from having to make the difficult decision by the appearance of one of the nurses. “What is all this screaming?” She crossed the room in several long strides, pulling the blanket away from Shona without hesitation.
The nurse gasped loudly; then again, the noise could just as easily come from me. The sheets under Shona were soaked bright red.
“Go and get the doctor.” The nurse pushed me roughly toward the door when I would have gone directly to Shona.
The moment my feet found the hallway outside the door, I ran full out. Doctor Gourini's rooms were two floors down, in the largest part of the council building. H
e answered on the first knock.
“Shona is bleeding,” I gasped, clutching my side. “The nurse sent me for you.” Hopefully he would come quickly and not think I had just come on my own.
Was the blood normal? Would Shona and her baby be all right? Why was she in so much pain? Was that a part of it? Sasha had told me it hurt to have a baby, did she really mean this bad? Half a dozen questions kept pace with my hurried steps back to room six, closely behind Doctor Gourini.
“When did this start?” It took me several heartbeats to realize he was talking to me. I took the blankets he threw away from Shona.
“She ... she wasn't bleeding when we went to sleep.” Maybe I shouldn't have slept. I knew her stomach was aching last night, why did I leave her alone?
“The cramping? When did it start?”
He was good; how did he know about the cramps. “Yesterday, early in the day.”
“We need to get to the birthing room right now.” Without another word or glance at the whimpering Shona, the doctor hurried from the room.
“Where's the birthing room? Is it far?” I already had one arm under the small of Shona's back, prepared to help her walk to the birthing room—no matter what.
“There's wheels on the bed.” With a quiet panic that enabled us to work together, the nurse and I somehow got the large bed through the doorway and along the hall, away from the lobby to a set of double doors that opened to a room I had never seen.
At least a dozen oil lamps were lit and placed at various levels to make the room almost as bright as a sunny day outside. We pushed Shona and her bed into the middle of the room where the doctor was waiting.
“Water, we'll need hot water,” he said as soon as we stopped moving.
Shona's hand shot out to close tightly around my arm. “Is something wrong with the baby?” she screeched. “Something is wrong!”
This must be how all babies came into the world. Sasha said it would hurt. All the blood from my face seemed to sink down to my knees, making it hard to keep standing. I would never live through it.
I stared back down at her, not trusting my voice to say anything.