Guilty as Sin

by Rita Hestand

He nodded a bit puzzled by her.

  A private came in and saw her to the mess hall, then after eating to her hearts content, she was shown to a small room on the other side of the barracks.

  She laid on the bed and smiled.

  It was soft, and she was asleep before she knew it.

  ***

  When Moon returned three days earlier than he planned Jack was surprised to see him and wondering how he was going to tell him that Lissa ran off.

  "You're back early."

  Moon put his gear up and looked about the place. He didn't see Lissa and he was hungry for the sight of her. "We got two boars and three deer. Cully's gonna dress them out and you and I are gonna build a smokehouse. But I wanted to come back early. I have a new plan that might be easier on Lissa. I can't wait to tell her about it. It was something you said Corky had said that got me thinking."

  Jack nodded. "Well, I've been thinking about a plan myself."

  "Where's Lissa?"

  "Well, I was gonna save this for a bit, but it looks as though I can't. She run off, Moon. Must have been the same day you left."

  "Run off?" His eyes widened. "Where?"

  "Yeah, she left this note for us." He handed it to Moon.

  "Why? What does she mean doing something for us?" He frowned and stood up.

  "We talked a few days earlier about it. But I thought I had her talked out of the notion. She got it in her head we'd be better off without her. Said with her gone, no one would bother us."

  Jack stared at Moon now.

  "Why'd you let her go, Jack?" Moon shouted.

  "I didn't know she was going. I thought we'd settled it."

  "Settled what?" Moon demanded.

  "Well, like I said. She got this idea that she was in the way. And that if she left, then no one would bother us no more about the killing."

  "They'll kill her, Jack!" Moon shouted.

  "Who?"

  "The first man who sees that poster, that's who!"

  "Well, you and I been teachin' her so much stuff. She knows how to handle herself."

  "She might know a few tricks, on how to stay alive in the woods, that's true. But she has no idea how to keep herself safe from the ones that want her. She's in great danger and it is my fault. I should have told her."

  "Told her what?"

  "Nothing!" He bellowed loudly.

  "How you gonna find her son, she's been gone for nearly a week." He told him.

  "I'll take one of the wolves and track her."

  Jack stood up and eyed him closely, "I got one question for ya, then I'll shut up."

  "What?" Moon frowned.

  "Are you in love with that gal?" Jack studied him.

  "That has nothing to do with this." He turned away.

  "It has everything to do with it." Jack insisted.

  "What do you mean?" Moon frowned once more as he stared at Jack.

  "Why do you think she run off?"

  "Like she said… "

  "No, that ain't the reason boy. She's in love with you, and you been shunning her for a while now. And I gotta admit I'm bit curious as to why. Because the way you are acting right now, I won't believe you don't care about her."

  "I had to stay away from her. I couldn't see how it could work for us, Jack. You know that! At least not the way we were going about it. But what Corky said made perfect sense. It was as though God himself were laying out the plans for us. Now I have an answer, and she's gone!"

  "All I know is, if you don't love her, you better not go after her. Because if you don't, there's no reason to, she's right. They won't come looking for you, without her here. But I'm just as concerned for her as you, because I can admit I love her."

  "Alright, I love her too! I have for a while now. But it seemed so hopeless. Now, I have a plan that I know will work and her being gone might even help this plan."

  "I don't understand."

  "It won't work her being a man all her life. But if she was my half breed squaw it would work."

  Jack stared and thought a moment. "That's a Jim Dandy idea son. But there is one thing, are you going to marry her?"

  "If she'll have me, yes!" He smiled. "It won't work any other way."

  "Then it will work, and I couldn't be happier about it. I don't know why I didn't think of that. Corky as much as said so when he came last time. Said you'd go off to the reservation, get yourself a squaw and come back and Lester would have to leave. It's perfect! You've got to find her now. Take Cole, he's the best sniffer." Jack chuckled. "This place ain't the same without her."

  "I knew you loved her too, Jack." Moon smiled.

  "I wasn't sure you'd ever find a woman, but I'm glad you did son, and I'm even happier it is her." Jack told him.

  "I'll start out in the morning. I'll get a good night's sleep, a belly full of your good cooking and then me and Cole will go get her."

  "That pup could sniff her out in a rainstorm." Jack chuckled.

  "Are you sure how she feels about me?" Moon asked.

  "That's the real reason she's been so unhappy here, son. She said you had changed, and she thought it was because of the man clothes and that you'd had time to think it over."

  "Oh, I thought it over, and over and over. I thought it impossible, Jack. But it's not! After praying on it in the holy place and going hunting, I was sitting there around the fire, and suddenly it hit me. You told me what Corky said, and then I just put it all together. It will work, I know it will."

  "Well, there is one thing I want you to do."

  "What's that?" Moon asked curiously.

  "I want you to marry her son."

  "Marry? I mean how?"

  "That's what folks do that love each other. You do right by her. She's a good lady and I know it."

  "But who would marry us Jack?"

  "Find yourself a Catholic priest and marry her before you bring her back. It's the right thing to do. God gave you the answer, now do things right, he'll expect it of you, if you love her like you say!"

  "You are right. If she'll have me."

  "She's crazy about you, son."

  Moon stared at the old man, "It would be like a dream come true, Jack."

  "Then get it done, son."

  Moon smiled, and for the first time he realized what it all might mean, marriage to her, a lifetime with her, children maybe too. Nothing would be better.

  Chapter Twelve

  The next morning Moon set out with his plan. He gathered enough clothes for Cole to get her scent. "Find her boy."

  Cole began their journey, Moon hoped he would find her without too much trouble. He felt confident that Cole could sniff her out easily.

  As long as there were no serious storms along the way, Moon decided it would be easy to track her.

  The first three days were easy Cole was hot on her trail. Moon had realized she was headed south. He reasoned because it was warmer in the south. That made sense. He didn't stop to rest much, the further he could travel in good weather the faster he would find her.

  He laid down that night, looking at the stars and wondering what she would think when he found her. Would she admit her feelings to him? Perhaps if he did first, she might.

  He had never wanted a woman so badly in his life. Keeping his hands off her the last couple of months had been murder. So many times, he thought of taking her, but that was no way to handle the woman he loved. He'd barely admitted his love to himself, much less her. What would she think?

  He couldn't wait to be with her once more. She'd been so much a part of his life these past few months. From the first kiss in the tree, to the one where the hornets were after them, he remembered every kiss. Even the last one where he'd kissed her in the cabin, and she'd melted against the wall. And he hungered for her now. What God had shown him was a plan, a good plan and they could live the rest of their lives happily. He only wished he'd realized it sooner.

  Cole lay beside him as they slept that night, and whined. Moon glanced at him, "I know boy, I miss her too."


  Jack was right too. Marriage was the only solution for them in more ways than one, it would keep them together and it would begin a new life for them. But most of all, it would fill him with love, pride and happiness.

  The fourth night he had visitors, two men stopped on the trail to ask for some of his coffee. He shared it freely. They were cattlemen coming back from an auction. They talked to Moon and he offered them some supper since he had killed a wild turkey.

  The men joined him at his camp. They drank coffee and introduced themselves.

  "Where you headed?" they asked.

  "South right now." He answered.

  "You live on a reservation?" They asked.

  "My tribe is south of here, yes." He told them.

  "What tribe you from?" the oldest man asked, his name was Bill and he seemed harmless.

  "Arapaho."

  "They got a few at Fort Hall. They work as scouts."

  "Really, I might stop by there, I might know them."

  "Yeah, they scout for the commander, he's a pretty fair man, I'm told. You could probably pick up some army pay if you wanted to work for them."

  "I might at that." He nodded.

  "That a real wolf?" the young man asked, his name was Hal and he seemed a bit edgy as he stared at Cole. Cole just panted and stared back.

  "Yeah, he's harmless, unless you are bad, then he would eat you alive." Moon said.

  "They are pretty animals. I've heard of a lot of people who train them, and they say they make the best traveling companions." Bill eyed the wolf.

  "You don't need a gun with them around." Moon told them.

  "Say that's an idea. How do you learn to train them?" Bill asked.

  "Gotta make friends with them first. Show no fear, offer them your trust. Then you can train them. They are great hunters."

  "How old is that one?"

  "He's five years old. He was taken as a pup by my friend. If you get them young enough, they are easy to train." Moon informed him.

  "Better than a dog?" Hal asked.

  "More vicious. Depends on what you want them for. Some are better hunters, some better defenders and some just better pets."

  "This one is an excellent hunter."

  "Are you hunting something?"

  "A friend." Moon told them. "Help yourself to the coffee, I must get up early to be on my way."

  He prepared to rest, and they stared at the fact that he was so trusting, but with the wolf along, they figured he had no worries.

  The next day the men left when he did.

  He might stop off at Fort Hall and see if he could find Lissa a Indian dress or two.

  But unfortunately for him a storm kicked up that day and Cole was having trouble keeping Lissa's scent.

  "It's alright boy, you've done a good job. From here on out we'll have to use instinct." He rubbed the wolf's head.

  The storm was treacherous, and Moon had to take cover against the rocks. He pulled out his blanket and covered Cole with it. He had a piece of Jack's slicker and he put it over himself as they sat huddled together during the storm. It was way into the night before they got any sleep.

  The next day the river was swollen.

  "Now what?" Moon looked exasperated. There was a ferry, but he'd have to pulled it back to this side to ride it over. He knew it would be hard with just him pulling it, but he was determined to do it. He looked at Cole, "Well, here goes, fella."

  For an hour and a half, he pulled and finally got the ferry to his side. "Come on boy." He motioned for Cole.

  Cole ran to get on and then he pulled them to the other side. But half way across the line broke and Moon and Cole fell in the river. It was moving swiftly and carried them downstream for a couple of miles before Moon got a foot hold. He held on to Cole, "Come on boy, we can make it."

  Cole whined but Moon managed to pull him to safety.

  On the other side of the river they laid against the land for a long while to rest from their struggles.

  He looked at Cole and smiled, "We made it boy."

  Cole whined again.

  Directly Moon ran into a sign that said Fort Hall was only ten miles down the road. He looked at Cole. "At least we can rest a little when we get there boy."

  Cole yelped. Moon laughed. "Come on boy."

  It was nightfall when he got to the fort. He ran into some of the scouts and bedded down with them. He knew a couple of them, he'd worked with them before.

  Most of the scouts petted Cole, but some hung back a little afraid of the animal. Cole went to lay down by the door, and they all caught up on news from home. Moon sometimes missed his tribe and any news was good. He was told there was many rumblings about not getting their fair share of blankets through the winter and the food was scarce too. Moon felt bad for his people, but his mission was to get Lissa. Since his father died, he had little reason to go back to the reservation.

  The next morning, he went to the General store and browsed for an Indian dress. He found two that looked as though they would fit her, so he bought them. One was a plain deer skin and one was a beautiful white deerskin with beads and quills all over it. It was perfect for their wedding he decided.

  He was taking a lot for granted, but if her kisses were any clue to how she felt, he had everything to look forward too.

  But as he was leaving the fort, one of the scouts called him over. They talked a few minutes and he was about to head out again when he saw her. It was Lissa, She was in a skirt and blouse, and her hair flowed down her back. She looked beautiful. His heart nearly stopped.

  "Who is that," he asked the scout.

  "Someone new, she stopped in the fort some days ago, took in wash to make enough money for a stagecoach ride. She'll be leaving soon, I'm told.'

  "She is beautiful."

  "Yes," his Indian friend chuckled. "You've been without a woman too long my friend, she's white."

  "I guess I have."

  "Too bad we no longer take white captives, my friend."

  "Yes, I guess it is." Moon smiled. "It doesn't matter, I'm about to get married anyway."

  "Yeah!"

  "Well, I haven't asked yet, but I'm pretty sure how she feels."

  "That's great."

  He had to figure a way to approach Lissa without drawing suspicion to himself.

  When she moved toward the back of the barracks to hang the clothes he followed.

  "Lissa?" he called softly.

  Lissa whirled around to find him standing in the shade of a tree. She stared a long moment, as though she might be seeing things.

  "Moon?" she shrieked. "What are you doing here." Her voice held surprise. She walked slowly over to him. She stared unbelievingly at him. A hand reached to touch her cheek and she laid her cheek against it.

  "I came to find you." He spoke softly so as not to attract attention.

  Cole saw her and raced toward her. She couldn’t help herself she bent to pet him. "Oh Cole," she sighed, then shot Moon a glance. "So, this is how you found me."

  "He's the best tracker." Moon smiled as he came a bit closer, but not too close.

  "You shouldn't have followed me." She whispered.

  "That sounds like something I've said to you before." He chuckled. "I had to find you. We are in this together, Lissa. Remember?"

  Another woman came around. "I'll talk to you tonight."

  "Where?"

  "Out behind that end building there." She pointed.

  He nodded and walked off.

  He'd found her, but she didn't look that pleased to see him.

  He had sorted out all the problems and come up with a solution and now she wasn't happy to see him.

  He bent to pet Cole, "We're going to have our work cut out for us now."

  Cole whined.

  That evening he met Lissa behind the building after dark.

  "You shouldn’t have come," she insisted. "Did you get my note."

  "Jack did."

  "It was for you both." She looked away.

&nbs
p; "I have another plan… " he began.

  She shook her head, "It won't work, Moon. I refuse to be a man any longer."

  "It's not the same plan."

  "Don't you see, it won't work!" she fretted throwing her hands in the air but whispering.

  "What if you came back as my half breed bride." He asked.

  "Your half… breed bride. You mean now you want me to be an Indian?" she shrieked.

  "Would that be so bad?" he frowned at her now. Had she missed the part where he said, 'bride'?

  "Think about it, if you are my half-breed bride, the only one that would recognize you at all, is your father. What are the chances of running into him?" He asked staring into her unhappy face.

  "You keep saying bride, you mean you and I would get married?" she stared.

  "Yes." He replied with a smile.

  "Moon, haven't I messed enough of your life up?" she asked.

  "We are in this together. We pledged ourselves to this, Lissa. I killed Earl, you killed the man your father sent. We both witnesses it. We have to stay together. Please, come home with me… "

  "Who would marry a white woman and an Indian man?" she asked.

  "Jack said we must find a Catholic Priest to do it. I bought you two Indian dresses you won't look like a white woman in the church. Word would get around if you did and then they would come looking for us for that."

  She shook her head, "I don't think this would work either Moon."

  "Why?" He asked frowning now.

  "I would take the marriage too seriously, and you are Indian, not bound by the white man's laws."

  There was a noise and she moved closer to him now.

  He stared down into her worried face, "We do not have time to discuss this. Either you come or not!"

  He hadn't said anything about how he felt, and he knew he should. But the way she acted, so removed from him. The way she didn't respond to his proposal made him angry with her, for he knew her feelings even now. And yet she would not say them. And his Indian pride kept him from it too.

  She sighed, "Alright Moon, I'll go with you, but not until the end of the week, when I'm to take a stage out of here. Can you come back for me?"

  "If that is what you wish."

  "Good. Will you be staying at the fort?"

  "Probably with the other Indian scouts, yes."