Discarded

by Shae Banks

  It was nowhere near a reflection of what was happening in my head, or the sensation of my chest tightening, but I looked up at him.

  “I don’t know how to make him see...”

  “The easy option is to report him to the police.”

  I shook my head. “I’ve been there before. All it does is make a mess. Nothing actually happens.”

  His expression caused me physical pain. “What the fuck has happened to you?”

  I shook my head. “Wrong place, wrong time? Trusted the wrong people? Made really fucking bad decisions? All of the above? I dunno.”

  “When the police let you down...?”

  “My brother-in-law. It was late on Christmas Day three years ago. My family had been drinking, I got in tired after all day at the hotel and went to get ready for bed. My sister’s husband caught me coming out of the bathroom and made a pass. I pushed him away, went to my room, he followed me and got a bit too handsy. There was no penetration so no evidence and nothing came of it. He said I came on to him, everyone rallied around my pregnant sister who claimed I was jealous of her and her husband. I couldn’t live there after they all sided against me, so I moved out. I couldn’t afford to, but Johnathan had this place advertised for four hundred, furnished, and I had a little bit saved up because I was saving for a car. I called, looked around, moved in. He recognized me last December when he attended that event the Grantham’s had at the hotel and started talking to me. His taxi arrived as I was leaving, and he offered me a lift. He was my landlord... I was lonely...”

  He got up and came to me, kneeling on the floor. “This isn’t your fault.”

  I laughed. “I don’t help myself though, do I?”

  Taking my mug, he put it on the floor and smiled. “We can always work on our flaws.”

  “Can we?”

  He took my hands in his. “Of course. We have our whole lives to live and learn and change. You don’t have to put up with people’s shit, Bekah. You deserve more. You deserve to be happy. All you have to do is make the choice to be.”

  I looked down as I laced my fingers through his, and he said, “You need to get him out of your head. We can work on that together, if you want to.”

  Tears slipped down my cheeks as I nodded. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  I shrugged. “Being kind. I don’t deserve it.”

  His kiss was soft. Tender. He stroked his hand over my head. The light touch enough to hurt where Johnathan had pulled at it the previous night. I winced, and Callum’s eyes darkened. “You do deserve it. You deserve kindness and happiness, and when you’re ready I’ll give you that and more. But first you need to take time to recover. That could be days, or weeks, or months, but when you’re ready I’ll be here.”

  Tears falling freely, I looked away. He gently turned my face back and kissed me. “You’re exhausted,” he said, studying my face. “Is that the bedroom?”

  I looked up and nodded.

  “Lie down.”

  I watched him get up and go into my room, returning moments later with my duvet and two pillows. After arranging the sofa to make me comfortable he sat on the floor at my side and took my hand. “Get some sleep. I’ll be right here.”

  “You have more important things to do than—”

  “Nothing is more important than being here today,” he said, kissing my cheek. “Get some rest.”

  The front door closed, and I jerked awake.

  “Callum?”

  “It’s just me,” he said, walking into the room with a plastic bag in his hand. “It was getting late, and I was starving, so I ordered lunch.”

  “I didn’t even know you could get food delivered at this time,” I said sitting up.

  He grinned. “In The Bag-uette have been delivering for months,” he said, heading to the kitchen. “I got you the seafood salad, is that all right?”

  Kicking the duvet onto the floor, I followed him. “That’s what I’d order for myself. How did you know?”

  He smiled. “You always choose the salmon and prawn pasta at work.”

  “I didn’t realise you were paying that much attention,” I said while taking the plate and bottle of coke he offered.

  “I’ve been paying attention for three years,” he said, flashing his brows. “I think I’ve picked up enough to get by for now.”

  Pursuing my lips, I turned and went back to the sofa. He followed, sitting beside me, and I glanced at his choice of food. Ham salad. Bottle of Orangina. I stored that away for later.

  “What would you like to do this afternoon?” he asked between mouthfuls of sandwich.

  I shrugged. “I need to phone in and make my excuses at work.”

  “Done. I called in when I went to the hardware store. You have stomach flu.”

  I was both mortified and grateful. Stomach flu meant several days off work, which I couldn’t afford. But he had saved me the trouble of thinking up a suitable lie and the shame of lying through my teeth about why I wasn’t in. Thinking more on it, a couple of days gave the bruise on my cheek time to fade enough to be covered by makeup. “Thanks.”

  “The least I could do.”

  I frowned. “You’re talking like you could have prevented this.”

  “I could have.”

  “How?”

  “I should have kept you with me.”

  I shook my head. “No. This is my problem. I got myself into it, I have to sort it out. He’d have caught up with me eventually.”

  “I don’t intend to let this happen again.”

  There was an undertone to his voice that should have frightened me, but it didn’t. Not from him. He used it when he was annoyed at work. He’d used it when he’d taken me into the office for spoiling soup. It didn’t frighten me at all.

  I went back to my lunch, not bothering to say anything else. I was grateful to him for being here. I didn’t want to end up in a disagreement after all he’d done.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Rested after sleeping on the sofa, my third day off that week started well. We had breakfast late, and I was laying on the sofa with my head in Callum’s lap, wearing an oversized T-shirt and pajama bottoms when the front door opened. While we hadn’t been intimate, he’d spent the night and was wearing nothing but his boxers while reading a magazine he’d picked up at the supermarket the previous night. And he didn’t look the least bit concerned.

  Johnathan walked in and stopped dead just inside the door.

  “You didn’t tell me you were due an inspection today, love,” Callum said casually, putting the magazine down.

  My heart had just about stopped. I couldn’t have answered him if I tried, but my body sprang into defense mode. I sat up, shuffling closer to Callum, not taking my eyes from Johnathan.

  Callum’s arm settled around my shoulder. He kissed the side of my head and gave me a reassuring squeeze as he said, “Feel free to look around. We haven’t washed the breakfast dishes yet, I’m afraid, so please ignore the mess.”

  Johnathan’s eyes were trained on my cheek, on the now light purple bruise that showed precisely where he’d struck me.

  “I have a new contract for you,” he said, his voice gruff. “It needs a signature.”

  I swallowed hard and nodded, and he reached inside his coat.

  I went to get up to take it, but Callum tightened his arm around me then got to his feet.

  Johnathan looked reluctant to hand it over, but Callum was insistent, his hand held out.

  I watched him take it, open it, then scan the document. “She’ll have this mailed back to you in a couple of days.”

  “It needs a signature now,” he said, looking at me.

  Callum shook his head. “No. This needs another pair of eyes. Six hundred for this tiny flat is extortion. There’s also the matter of you letting yourself in without knocking and waiting for a reply. She’ll have it back to you in two days.”

  While he kept his voice even, the threat in his words was clear.

 
Johnathan squared his jaw. “Six? No, that’s a mistake.”

  Callum offered the contract back. “Yes, I thought as much.” He paused then looked at me. “We should get ready, love, we have to be in Penrith for two. If you’ll excuse us, Pierce. Am I to take it the rolling contract you have in place will remain?”

  Johnathan forced a smile. “Yes. Yes, that’s right. Four fifty a month. The usual three-month inspection will be in April, Bekah. If you need anything in the meantime feel free to call.”

  Callum followed him to the front door and said, “Don’t forget the written notice next time, mate,” before closing the door behind him.

  When he came back into the room I was shaking. He came to me and took my hands, pulling me to my feet.

  “Message sent. He won’t bother you again.”

  Reaching for him, I stood on the tips of my toes and kissed his cheek. “Thank you. I don’t know how I’d have done this without you.”

  He looked down at me and smiled. “You’d have managed. You’re stronger than you look. Now, get dressed, we have somewhere to be.”

  I frowned. “Where? Why?”

  “Penrith by two,” he said, giving me a quick kiss on the lips. “Because I like spending time with you. And I need to call in at the Georgian for some paperwork beforehand, so we should get a move on.”

  He turned and went into my bedroom while I followed at a slower pace, stopping at the mirror on my wardrobe door. “I can’t go out with this on my face. I need ten minutes to cover it.”

  “Are you happy for me to get what I need and come back for you?” he asked, pulling on his T-shirt.

  I didn’t think Johnathan would come back, but the thought of being alone in the flat wasn’t a happy one.

  I nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be okay.”

  He stepped behind me and kissed the top of my head. “I’ll be right back. Pierce won’t be back here for a while. I guarantee it. I’ll be back within half an hour. Lock the door behind me if you need.”

  I nodded, turning away as he walked out the door.

  Half an hour sounded like an eternity, but I figured it would pass more quickly if I focused on getting ready.

  I watched him pull into the parking space under my bedroom window and rushed out of the building.

  “Twenty-five minutes,” he said as his window lowered. “And I showered.”

  I grinned, walking around to the passenger side and got in. “What’s in Penrith?”

  “The farm that supplies most of my meat. I collect Wednesday afternoon in preparation for the weekend.”

  I nodded. “And the vegetables?”

  “They come from a grocer south of us. He delivers tomorrow morning at eleven. Everything else I collect from the warehouse on the way back from Penrith today.”

  “You do it all yourself?” I asked, watching the countryside pass by my window.

  “There’s no one to help me,” he said with a small laugh. “I pay an accountant, Louisa handles the housekeeping, all room bookings are handled by an online company. It’s why I’m only open four nights. Full time would be impossible.”

  I nodded. “That’s understandable. It’s a shame, though. There’s so much potential locked up in the place. It’s a bit of a waste.”

  He was thoughtful for a few minutes, then turned on the radio and we travelled most of the way in silence.

  I was happy to. Just being out of town for a couple of hours was having a very positive effect on my mood. Even though Callum had been by my side, my anxiety had been through the roof the last two days. I couldn’t relax. I couldn’t stop watching the door, waiting for Johnathan to walk through. And when he had, Callum had handled it expertly. But now I was miles away. Not only away but with Callum. He made all the difference.

  We were a few miles outside the town when he took a left turn, leaving the main road behind.

  Now we were on single tracks barely wide enough for his massive car, but he drove them with ease, seemingly at home on the winding country roads.

  “Here we are,” he said slowing.

  If I’d blinked I’d have missed the entrance to the farm. It looked tiny.

  The car crawled up the lane until we reached a little stone farmhouse. Fields stretched for miles around, the view broken on my left by the farmhouse and two large barns.

  “Graham,” Callum said in greeting as he got out of the car.

  The smell hit me as soon as my feet hit the filthy ground. Cow shit.

  There were enough farms around home for me to be familiar with the stench, but I’d never stood smack in the middle of it.

  The two men shook hands, and I walked around the car to join them when Callum said, “And this is Bekah.”

  Graham gave me a welcoming smile and reached out a hand. I took it, and said hello then looked him up and down.

  Wearing green Wellington boots, jeans, and a shirt, he looked every bit the farmer. It was only accentuated by the beard and the ruddy color to his cheeks.

  “Got your order here, Callum,” he said before turning and leading us to a small outbuilding attached to the house. “The beef is twenty-one days, the lamb slaughtered yesterday.”

  “Which herd was the beef?” Callum asked as we entered the building.

  Surprisingly, it looked like a butcher’s shop. There was a woman behind the counter. She was about my height, late thirties, and she gave me a broad smile.

  “Hi,” I said, looking around.

  Callum and Graham had launched into a discussion over which herd of cattle had produced whatever he had in the order while the woman behind the counter rolled her eyes.

  I laughed and said, “Who knew a chef would know so much about the farm and the animals?”

  She shook her head and looked at them. “It’s the same every week. You’d think they’d get bored.”

  “Nothing wrong with being passionate about what you do,” Graham said, stepping behind the counter and heading into the room beyond.

  I looked to my right to see Callum smile at me. The flutter of excitement caught me by surprise, and I couldn’t help but give a shy smile back and turn away as Graham returned with a huge box in his arms.

  “This one’s the beef. I’ll bring the others,” he said as Callum took it and carried it outside.

  “And he never backs the car to the door,” the woman said.

  I smirked as Callum came back inside and took a second box.

  “You a new chef, lass?” Graham asked as he moved back for another box.

  I shook my head. “No. I’m… I’m just a waitress,” I said looking back to the door.

  Callum stepped through it and said, “Bekah is an integral part of the team at the hotel. You may be seeing more of her in the future.”

  Graham nodded, his eyes flicking to me as Callum took the third box. I looked away, sure my cheeks had flushed.

  “One more, pal,” Graham said as Callum went back out, and the woman began flicking through a book.

  “Here’s the invoice,” she said and handed it to me. “He pays direct, so there’s nothing more to do now.”

  I nodded and folded the paper without looking at it. “Thanks, I’ll… um…”

  “Cheers, Manda. Graham,” Callum said taking the fourth and final box. “Same time next week?”

  “Aye. Any changes email Manda. She’ll see to it,” Graham said, leading us out.

  I smiled back at Manda before following and heading straight to the car. The smell was less potent, I noticed as I walked. I’d gotten used to it quickly.

  “Was nice meeting you,” I said as I opened my door.

  Graham gave me a nod. “You too, lass.”

  Callum was another minute before he joined me, starting the car and fastening his seatbelt as we drove from the yard.

  “I’ve got your invoice here,” I said.

  “Oh. Can you reach the folder round the back of my seat? Stuff it in there. I’ll handle it tomorrow or… well, I’ll get around to it at some point.”

&
nbsp; I did as he asked but kept hold of the folder as we travelled up the narrow road back to the main road home.

  “So, do you see the birth certificates of the cows or do you just go with having met their mother?” I asked after a few quiet minutes.

  “Well, I tend to meet them at least once before I cook them,” he said with a smirk. “Graham is a brilliant farmer. His animals are incredibly well cared for which comes through in the eating. I chose him because of his humanitarian approach.”

  “I had no idea you sourced like that,” I said as we re-joined the main road home. “Is it the same with the seafood and freshwater fish?”

  He nodded. “Yes. Salmon line caught from Speyside. I know the owner of the smokehouse, Langoustine from the waters south of Skye, I’ve met the fishermen. I take this all very seriously and source the produce carefully to ensure the animals are well cared for, humanely slaughtered, responsibly caught. It costs more, but I want to be responsible.”

  I nodded. “Thank you for bringing me with you.”

  He reached over and took my free hand, giving it a squeeze. “Any time. Shall we stop for something to eat?”

  “What about that lot?” I asked, glancing behind.

  “Oh, its packaged for two days shipping, it’ll be fine for an hour. There’s a small tearoom nearby where we can get something light. We can worry about something decent later?”

  “Okay, but it’s my shout. You bought lunch yesterday,” I said. “And you saved me a hundred and fifty pounds a month on rent today, so I owe you.”

  “Done,” he said, releasing my hand and slowing the car. “It’s just down here.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  The following day was Thursday. Back to work.

  Callum had stayed with me until late. We ordered a pizza and sat in front of the TV for most of the evening. I had to go to bed at ten, being up at five for my shift at the gas station and asked what he planned to do.

  “That’s entirely your choice,” he said. “If you need me to stay, I’m happy to. If you want to be alone, I understand and will see you tomorrow evening at work.”