Violent Circle Comedy Series Box Set

by S. M. Shade

“Ha! I’ve heard all about your…distracting member. Bestie trumps sex. Chicks before dicks. That’s all I’m saying.”

  Wyatt looks at Cass. “Is she serious?”

  Cass pulls her legs up until she’s sitting cross legged. “Absolutely. And I agree. Ovaries before broveries.”

  Wyatt stares at us like we’re both insane. “Broveries?”

  Giggling, I suggest, “Uteruses before duderuses?”

  Wyatt shakes his head and mutters something about crazy women as he leaves the room.

  Cass looks me in the eye. “Seriously, though, Jani. I know I’m not around as much, but I’m still here whenever you need me.”

  Sighing, I reply, “Then tell me I’m completely crazy for letting things get this far with Noble. Because if someone doesn’t talk me out of it, I’m going to fuck that guy like his dick is the key to happiness.”

  “It might be.” Cass tucks her legs beneath her. “Not his dick, specifically, but him. You never know. I’m happier now than I ever was, and while his cock definitely plays its role, it’s the everyday things with Wyatt that make me happy.”

  “Ugh.” I fall back on the couch. “You’re not helping. Fine, I’ll see how tonight goes and maybe I’ll give his cock a little play time.”

  Wyatt retreats from the doorway. “I always manage to walk in at the wrong moment,” he grumbles.

  Cass and I break into laughter. “It’s cute that he thinks there’s ever a right moment when we’re talking.”

  Cass giggles, looking toward the now empty doorway. “He’s learning.”

  I can hear the party at Frat Hell before I get there. It’s not that the music is all that loud, but the laughing and talking spill out of the windows they’ve opened to vent the pot smoke. Noble must have been waiting on me to show up because he yanks the front door open before I can knock.

  “Hey, beautiful.” He wastes no time pulling me in for a kiss. “You’re just in time to watch me kick some ass at beer pong. Want to play?”

  I’m going to need some alcohol to get through this night. “Sure, why not?”

  His arm wraps around my waist as we head inside. Denton is sitting on the couch along with a group of other guys, all staring at the T.V.

  “Dude! How did you miss him? Give me that!” One of the guys I don’t recognize grabs the controller from the other, and takes over playing the shooting game.

  Another grins up at me, either oblivious to the fact that Noble’s arm is around me or too drunk to give a shit. “Heeey, sweet thing.” Slurring like crazy, so it’s definitely the latter. “Want to go home with me? I got something for you. It’s ten inches long, full of sperm, and makes all the ladies scream.”

  Noble’s face hardens, and he takes a step toward the guy, but I get between them. I’ve never needed anyone to fight my battles. “I’m not interested in seeing the sock under your bed.”

  A chorus of “ohh, buurn” fills the room. Before it ends, and the guy says something that’s most likely going to lead to Noble beating his ass—judging by the look on Noble’s face—I smile and start toward the kitchen.

  “Sorry,” Noble apologizes as soon as he catches up with me. “Scott is a dick. Want a shot?” He holds out a shot of Fireball, and I down it before taking another.

  “Didn’t bother me.” I grin up at him. “Are we playing or what?”

  The game is set up on a long, fold out table in the kitchen. The usual kitchen table has been relegated to a corner, where it holds an array of drinks and snacks.

  We watch as a ball bounces into the last cup, and the winning team cheers. The losing team of guys both grumble and start stripping off their clothes. “Losers have to strip down to underwear for an hour,” Noble explains.

  Alarm bells start ringing in my head. Abort Mission! Retreat! “If you think I’m stripping down to panties in a houseful of drunken—”

  “No.” Noble practically barks the word. “No way are any of these guys seeing your panties when I haven’t even seen them yet. We won’t play by that rule.”

  If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that expression on his face is jealousy. I pat his cheek with my hand and drop a quick kiss on his lips. “What makes you think I’m wearing any panties?”

  His eyes nearly fall out of his head, then find their way to my leggings covered back side. Trey has to call his name twice before he shakes himself out of it. “Dude, quit ogling your girl’s ass and get over here.”

  Kenny sets up the cups and pours in some beer. “All right, Broski, you two are up first.”

  Noble stares at Kenny. “Oh no, did you get hit with—”

  “Yes,” Kenny interrupts, shaking his head. “Fuckin Trey the bromosapien hit me with the bro card when I lost the last game.”

  I’m probably going to be sorry for asking. “What is a bro card?”

  “If you get the bro card, every sentence you speak has to include a word with bro in it,” Trey explains, handing me a ping pong ball. “And it can’t just be bro. You have to mix it up.”

  Of course. Makes perfect sense.

  “For how long?”

  Noble grins down at me. “Whoever gives the card is the only one who can revoke it. So, whenever that happens, or the next morning, whichever comes first.”

  I toss the ball and hit one of Trey and Kenny’s cups. Noble does the same and we grin at them as they drink. “If we win this one, will you revoke the card, Brosicle?” Kenny asks.

  “Yep. But it’s not looking good so far.”

  A few turns later, Noble and I are killing it. Godzilla couldn’t have done a better job of destroying them. “I’m kind of thirsty. Could I get a beer?” I ask, taunting them with the fact I’ve barely had to drink.

  Laughing, Noble grabs a beer from a nearby cooler and hands it to me. “Watching you teach my friends a lesson is incredibly hot.”

  “Beginner’s luck,” I reply with a shrug.

  Trey and Kenny both gape at me. “You’ve never played this game before?” Trey asks.

  “Nope.” He mumbles something that sounds a bit like this some bullshit, but I can’t be sure.

  I hit my next throw, but Noble’s bounces back out. “Get it together, buddy.” I shove him and attempt to retreat around the edge of the table.

  “It’s your fault,” he announces. I’m pulled back against him, and his lips run up my neck before I feel his breath in my ear. “All I can think about is whether you’re wearing panties or not.”

  “So if I told you I’m wearing black, lace boy shorts, would that help?”

  His groan makes me laugh. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but I’m actually having fun. Noble’s friends may be a little silly, but, hell, Cassidy and I act stupid together all the time.

  We’re down to the last cup, and Noble hands me the ball. “Come on, baby, you can do it.”

  The way Kenny stares at the cup and holds his breath makes it hard not to laugh, and I’m tempted to miss one more time just to draw it out. Instead, I toss it and it lands perfectly in the cup.

  “Fuck,” Kenny curses, quickly adding, “-ing brotastic.”

  Trey shakes his head, a wicked grin on his face, when Kenny turns to him, pleading, “Rematch?”

  “No way. I’ll take the card back at midnight.”

  “How the hell am I supposed to get a bro-job while talking like this?”

  Noble and I both crack up at the way he slipped the word in that time. “Dude, Carl is in the living room if that’s what you’re looking for,” Noble says.

  His bottom lip sticks out in a pout that matches his sulky tone. “Fuck off, you know I’m not gay, Bro-ble.”

  That does it. I’m sure the alcohol is the main reason I fall into hysterics at the sound of Noble’s modified name, but either way, it’s hilarious. Noble’s smile is wide and genuine as he watches me try to stifle the giggles that just won’t quit. Listening to Trey and Kenny insult each other really doesn’t help.

  “This is bullshit, brotato. Just because you look like a before pictur
e for Weight Watchers doesn’t mean I should have to go without.”

  Trey slaps his considerable belly. “My gut can’t compete with my dick, so there’s no shortage of women who want to ride the Trey Train. Unlike you, not all of us want to expose ourselves to various strains of the hepatitis alphabet.”

  “But this is my last night to do this, bromosexual.” He does a little stompy dance like a obstinate three year old, and I have to swallow back a laugh.

  Trey finally takes pity on him. Or he’s sick of hearing him whine, I’m not sure which, but he sighs, “Fine. I revoke the bro card. Go give some poor girl three minutes of missionary, under the covers disappointment.”

  Kenny slaps him on the back and races off like pussy might have an expiration date.

  “Can we step outside and get some air?” I ask, a few giggles still slipping through.

  “Sure, we’ve got a fire burning out there.” His dimple pops out, setting another fire alight.

  My phone beeps and I give it a quick look. I recently posted an ad on the internet about the ring we found in the river, and now someone is trying to claim it.

  The text reads: I bought Mayetta that ring and I’d like it back.

  Wow, way to be nice about it, buddy. I may have believed him if he had spelled her name correctly.

  Me: Sure, just let me know what the inscription says, as the ad requested.

  I tuck the phone away, not interested in calling out this person’s bullshit. I’m much more concerned with the sexy man in front of me and the feelings he’s stirring up.

  Turns out I lied to Cassidy. I am most definitely going to sleep with him in a house full of his friends tonight. It’s that or drag him back to my apartment where my mother can hear, so, Frat Hell sex it is.

  I grab my coat while Noble heads off to get his. He returns with a fluffy throw blanket and drapes it around my shoulders. “Oh!” Denton exclaims as he walks past. “She gets the binky? No one can touch the binky!”

  Noble glares at him, which draws a smirk from Denton. “His baby blanket. He carries it around the house and no one is allowed to touch it.”

  Noble flips him off. “It’s not a damned baby blanket. And no one touches it because you guys dirty up everything. I don’t want it full of joint burns and soaked in Trey’s sweat.”

  “It is really soft,” I remark, pulling it around me. It smells good too, like him. “Thanks.”

  A few guys sit by the fire out back, passing a joint and talking about fixing a car. Noble drags an oversized Adirondack chair to the other side of the fire, then pulls me into his lap.

  “I’m going to squish you,” I protest.

  He scoffs and spreads the blanket over us. “You’re tiny.”

  “You obviously haven’t met thunder and lightning.” I clench one thigh and then the other to introduce them.

  His eyes close briefly and he shakes his head at me, a small smile on his face. “I plan to make their acquaintance very soon.”

  His body is warm, and I snuggle into him. His arms wrap around my waist, under the blanket, and his hands rest on my thigh. “Do you have to work tomorrow?” he asks, nuzzling his chin into my neck.

  “No, in a few weeks I’ll be able to set my own hours, though. I’m replacing Cassidy as GM of Scarlet Toys.”

  He pinches my chin and turns my head toward him. “You got promoted to GM?”

  “Yep. Cass just told me.”

  A soft kiss lands on my lips. “Congratulations. That’s great.”

  He can be so sweet sometimes. I settle back against his chest. “Thanks. I hate to lose Cass, but I’m happy to take the job.”

  His fingers curl into my hair, playing with it. “I’m sure you two will still hang out.”

  “Yeah, what about you? You graduate this year, don’t you?” I hadn’t really thought about it until now, but he’ll likely move after school. Now that I like him, I hate to think how temporary this might be.

  “With my bachelor’s degree, yes, but I won a scholarship to continue to my master’s degree.”

  Hope leaps in my chest. “Here? At the same school?”

  “Yes.” He grins down at me. “Why, were you hoping to escape me at the end of the year?”

  I run my hand up and down his thigh. “Nah, I kind of like you.”

  “Kind of?” He slides his hand to tickle my ribs with his fingertips.

  “As long as you don’t tell anyone.” I tilt my head up and bring my lips to his. “Congratulations on the scholarship. What do you do with a master’s in weather?”

  “In meteorology and climatology,” he corrects. “I’m not exactly sure what line of work I want to end up in. Maybe research. My focus has shifted more to the study of climate change.” He grins. “But storm chasing is a real possibility.”

  “Mmm…storm chasing. That’s kind of sexy. I’ve always wanted to see a tornado, but if I ever did, I’d probably pass out or wet myself.” Yeah, Jani, that’s how you do it. Just keep up all that sexy talk. Ugh, sometimes I wonder who thought it would be a good idea to put me in charge of a vagina.

  My talk of involuntary urination doesn’t seem to faze him though. His hand sweeps across my ribs, and I reach under the blanket to unbutton my coat. Taking it as the invitation I meant it to be, he runs his warm palm across my breast, cupping it, then running a thumb over my nipple.

  “I feel like I’m sixteen again, getting felt up under a blanket,” I whisper, before claiming his cool lips with mine.

  “I was never this lucky at sixteen. Beautiful woman in my arms, all soft and sweet,” he murmurs, kissing me again.

  We’re interrupted by Trey’s loud cry. “Look! It’s a UFO!”

  I had practically forgotten they were there. At some point, Trey and Denton have joined the fun. Right now, five drunk men are staring at the sky. I’m overcome with a brief moment of evilness when I picture how funny it’d be if a bird flew over and shit right now, since their mouths are all hanging open like an inflatable sex doll.

  “I don’t see anything,” one of them argues. I don’t recognize him, so he must not be from the circle.

  “Right there!” Trey insists, stumbling to his feet and pointing at the sky. He takes a quick step back, catching his balance.

  It’s funny, because one of the things I discovered the first time I drank was that looking up at the stars is not a good idea. Everything spins, and you want to puke.

  Denton snorts and takes a drink of his beer. “That’s a satellite, you idiot.”

  “Is not! It’s a UFO. Maybe aliens.”

  Another guy speaks up. “I saw a UFO before. ‘Bout three years ago.”

  “See,” Trey says, vindicated, pointing to the sky again like we might have forgotten where it was. “It’s a UFO.”

  “Lots of things are UFO’s if you’re stupid,” Denton says.

  Noble nuzzles my neck. “You want to go to my room? Unless you’re invested in the alien debate.”

  Getting to my feet, I wrap the blanket back around my shoulders. “Let’s go.”

  “Nice angle on your dangle, there, dude!” Denton yells as we walk past, and Noble flips him off.

  “He’s just mad because I made the new neighbor think he’s gay.”

  Laughing, I grab his hand. “Let’s go put the dangle to good use.”

  He doesn’t have a response for that.

  Noble’s room is neat and pretty much looks like you’d expect any young guy’s bedroom to look, except for the massive poster of a tornado on one wall, and another that depicts the patterns of ocean currents.

  I’m trying to make some sense out of the ocean poster when he presses his chest to my back. “Most people don’t realize how much of our weather, especially temperature, is controlled by ocean currents. With the ice caps melting, they dump freshwater into the stream which affects the density and alters the flow.”

  It occurs to me that Noble may be smarter than I gave him credit for. The passion he has for his field shines through in his voice. He ce
rtainly isn’t the party all the time slacker I thought he was. He works hard and has plans for his future. I feel bad I rushed to judgment just based on how he goofs off with his friends.

  “Like in that disaster movie where New York freezes instantly?”

  Chuckling, he kisses my neck. “They exaggerated the hell out of it, but that’s the scenario it’s based on. Realistically, it could take two centuries to affect it to a dangerous extent.”

  “Mmm.” I tilt my head, giving him better access. “Talk science to me, nerd boy.”

  “Barometric pressure,” he whispers, reaching around to caress my breasts. “Evapotranspiration, southern oscillation—”

  I stop his words with my mouth, grinning at the sound he always makes when I slip my tongue against his. Still kissing me, he reaches past me to lock his door.

  “Do you have a condom?” I ask, unbuttoning his pants.

  Maybe he didn’t think I was actually going to sleep with him, because his lips fall open a little, and it takes him a second to answer. “Yeah, in the night stand.”

  Rough hands slide up my sides, taking my shirt with them. His lips return to mine, and I’m so lost in the kiss I don’t notice he’s unclipped my bra until the cool air chills my nipples. Deep blue eyes delve into mine when we break apart, and his voice is firm when he says, “Do you have any idea how much I want to fuck you? All I’ve thought about is having you squirming under my tongue while I make you come.”

  Heat races across my skin at his words, and he smiles. “You like me talking dirty to you.” It’s not a question, and I don’t bother with a response.

  We strip each other, pausing to kiss and lick and caress until we’re both out of our minds with desire. My back arches as he sucks my nipple, and I explore the muscles of his back, reveling in the way they flex under my fingers.

  I love his body, the smooth skin, sprinkled lightly with hair in all the right places. Lean and muscled, warm and hard. It’s perfect. When he slides a thick finger inside me, then another, I spread my legs wider, and reach for his cock. I wrap my hand around it, delighting in the weight of it on my palm and the little breath he takes when I stroke the silky, hot skin.