I'll Conjure You Up A Fortune

by Mario V. Farina

tone, Adele sank numbly into the couch. She was suddenly struck with a fearful premonition.

  "What's going on," she managed to blurt.

  "Jimmy says that you referred to me as a weird woman," Sylvia began. "Hell, that was just an act. I wanted you to think I was a foolish dimwit that you could easily exploit. And it worked."

  "The way you see me now is what I normally look like. You don't suppose that the receptionist at your husband's law office could get away looking tacky, do you? If there's anyone drab, dowdy, and unattractive around here it's you, Adele. Look at yourself, witchy looking, overweight, flabby, it's no wonder that your husband decided to leave you."

  "My husband? What does James have to do with all this?"

  "Your James and my Jimmy are the same person," replied Sylvia. "You know, of course, that he was furious when you took that money out of the joint account. He asked me if I would help him get it back. And, of course, I agreed. I would do anything for my honey."

  "You're lying! You have to be a psychic. You knew about the settlement. You knew about Gordon. You knew about the suit for divorce."

  "Of course I knew. Jimmy told me."

  "And what about those winnings at the track?"

  "Pure imagination, Adele. There weren't any winnings. There weren't any visions. There was only your greed. There was never any doubt that we would be able to get back all the money you took."

  "And by the way, thank you for your visions. They were remarkably accurate. You predicted there would be a marriage in our future, and money, and a great trip!"

  "You're not going to make all those plans come true with my money," Adele screamed. "Give it back!"

  Sylvia smiled. "Give what back?" She asked coyly. "I don't know what you're talking about. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with my honey.