“Nothing.”
“Nothing? You never had sex before?” he asked incredulously.
“No,” I said through gritted teeth. “I just fucked women and left. I never…I didn’t ever have a woman.”
“Like…not even a date?”
“Josh, you know the business I was in. Things were different. I had a job to do, and that didn’t include finding a nice wife to settle down with.”
He blew out a breath. ”Look, I’m not really sure what you need. I mean, there’s not enough time in the world to go over how to treat a woman, let alone do it in a phone conversation.”
“You have to give me something. I keep pissing her off, even though she’s intruding on my space. I mean, I’m the one that’s being imposed on. And I even tried to be nice. I got her a dog for protection, not that she really wanted it. She named it Princess. It’s a fucking male dog,” I said, still baffled by that one. “And she wanted this fucking lap dog. Like that would protect her from anything—”
“Wait, why don’t you start by telling me why you got her a dog for protection. Are you in trouble?”
“No, it’s not me. I was just minding my own fucking business when she crashed in front of me. But she’s got secrets and I know they’re bad, but not how bad. And I can’t even torture the answers out of her,” I said, running my hand through my hair in frustration.
“Please tell me that’s because you like her.”
“Well, I suppose that might factor in, but she has amnesia. It would never work.”
“Right,” he grumbled. “So, not so much the savior that I thought you might be.”
“Hey, I had a job when I worked for the Family. You don’t just forget about that.”
“But she’s a woman.”
“I’m aware of her gender.”
He scoffed. “Please tell me you didn’t actually torture women.”
I winced, remembering hitting Carly.
“Never mind,” he mumbled. “I seem to remember you having no problem hitting your own sister. If you could do that, I’m not sure why another woman would be any different.”
God, this was a huge mistake. I wasn’t sure why I thought going to Josh would be a good idea. “I have a lot of regrets,” I confessed. “Not the least of which that I hit her. I know there’s nothing I could say that would ever make you trust me or even…”
“Then why did you call? Really, I mean, you know that us never speaking is for the best. Carly wanted to leave that life behind, and that included you, despite the fact that you’re her last remaining family member. The things you did, you can never come back from that.”
“Don’t you think I fucking know that?” I spat. “There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about all the shit I did and how I hurt my family. Carly was lucky. She got herself out, otherwise my uncle would have convinced me to kill her too. I know she’ll never trust me again.”
“Then what did you expect when you called?”
I didn’t know. I just knew I had no one else to turn to. “I have nobody else,” I said quietly. “I’m trying to live my life the way Carly wanted, but this…I have no idea how to deal with this. I’m fucking up big time, and…”
He sighed heavily. “Well, first, stop being such a dick to this woman. I know you’re used to doing things differently, but you have to remember this woman doesn’t know anything about your life. Hell, if she doesn’t remember anything, then she’s completely innocent. You can’t behave like you did when you led the Family. She’s not going to get why you’re being an ass all the time. And get her the fucking puppy she wanted. Christ, if you’re trying to keep her happy, get her the dog she wants.”
“But it’s a fucking lap dog,” I sneered.
“Who gives a fuck? Listen, I know you think this is a protection thing, but for her, this is about comfort. You’re not living that life anymore. You’re safe, and she’s safe as long as she’s with you. No one’s after you.”
I rubbed my hands over my eyes. It was so hard to let go of those instincts that I had honed in on for so long. “I don’t know how to let go and just…be normal. I’ve never had that.”
“Well, you have that chance now. Don’t fuck it up. Give this woman a real chance, and stop pissing her off and trying to get rid of her.”
I huffed out a laugh. “That goes against all my instincts.”
“That may be, but something is convincing you to keep her around.”
He had a point. “Alright. Well…thanks for…everything.”
“Yeah, let’s not make a habit of this.”
He hung up, leaving me with a lot to think about. He was right, this wasn’t my old life. I had to change the way I thought. Hell, from the start I was suspicious of her, thinking that she was somehow after me, which, now that I had more time to think about it, was really ridiculous. But my old life forced me to be suspicious of everyone.
I really liked Ciara, now that I could finally admit it to myself. If I wanted her to stick around, I had to change my attitude toward her. I had to be nicer and stop getting angry all the time. She was never going to behave the way I wanted her to. And I also had to figure out how to talk to her. I couldn’t tell her about my past, but I could try to talk to her at least a little. I would get her to stick around if I didn’t actually speak to her. Christ, I would be better of with just the dogs, but I couldn’t fuck a dog.
I walked into the animal shelter, hiding my grimace when I saw Jo. She was a little perky, and by perky, I meant she walked up to me and started talking.
“Antonio, right? It’s so good to see you. Please tell me there’s nothing wrong with that adorable dog. It would just break my heart if you wanted to bring him back.”
I held up my hand to stop her rambling. “He’s fine. I actually came back for the Spaniel that Ciara liked.”
She did a double take, her eyes watching me warily. “You…you want another dog?”
“That’s what I said.”
“But…you should really introduce them first to see if they get along.”
“I didn’t ask for your opinion,” I bit out, only realizing after that Josh had told me to try and get along. I thought he was talking about Ciara, but he probably meant everyone. I took a deep breath and calmed myself. “She really liked that dog, and…it’ll make her happy.”
Jo’s eyes melted right in front of me. “Aww, that’s so sweet.”
“It’s not sweet. I’m just trying to keep her from yelling at me.”
“But I thought you were looking for an apartment for her. Is she going to have both dogs?”
“No, she’s staying with me.”
“Oh, so are you two like a thing?”
I narrowed my eyes at her, making it clear that my personal life wasn’t up for discussion, but it didn’t even seem to phase her. Was I losing my touch? I added in a scowl, just to make it clear, but she just laughed at me.
“Come on, Grumpy. Let’s get that dog.”
“Why are you laughing?”
“Because, you know, the whole…” She waved her hand up and down my body.
“The whole what?”
“You know, the tough guy act. I’m sure you’re super scary.”
“It’s not an act,” I bit out, wishing I could pull out my gun and shoot her right where she stood.
“Oh, I’m sure it’s not to others, but I don’t really buy it.”
“There’s nothing to buy,” I said irritatedly.
She opened the cage door and pulled out the Spaniel, handing it over to me. The dog whimpered, then licked my face like I was an ice cream cone. I grimaced, hating the dog’s tongue on my face.
“See? She likes you. Now, if a lap dog likes you that much, you can’t be too bad.”
I grunted, looking the dog in the eyes. The dog was panting, like it was happy to see me. It was kind of cute. I mean, the fur was really soft and she had cute eyes. She probably wasn’t that bad.
“I need a really manly leash,” I grumbled
. “I can’t have you walking around with that other dog, thinking you’re some kind of girly dog.”
“That’s so cute that you’re already talking to her. Seriously, I didn’t think you were a dog person, but it’s so obvious that you love dogs.”
“I do not,” I argued.
“Right, that’s why you’re back to get a second one.”
“Hey, I already told you that it’s for Ciara.”
“Right, I know a lot of people that go out and get two dogs when they don’t like dogs.”
“I never said I didn’t like dogs. I just don’t see what the big deal is. They’re just dogs.”
I filled out all the paperwork, setting the dog on the counter as I did so. The dog wouldn’t leave me alone, constantly licking me and putting its paws on me. By the time I was done, the dog thought we were best friends. She was going to be sorely disappointed when I shoved her off on Ciara.
“Alright, I’ll be up for a visit in a few more days. We’ll see how they’re getting along together.”
I grunted at her, and walked toward the door with the dog. On the way, I stopped at a pet store, bringing her in with me to get some doggy paraphernalia. As soon as I walked in, the woman rushed over, gushing over the dog.
“Oh, how sweet! What’s her name?”
“Uh…Max.”
“Max?” The woman looked at me strangely.
“Short for Maxine,” I lied, just so she wouldn’t get all weird on me. If I wanted to name the damn dog Max, I would.
“Would you like us to give her a spa treatment while you’re here? We have some time.”
“No, I just came in for some supplies.”
“Oh, but you should really give her a bath and have her nails trimmed. She’s looking a little matted. I promise, you won’t be disappointed.”
I opened my mouth to tell her that I was rarely disappointed in anything, but then I thought about how Ciara would react when she saw her dog, all clean and pretty. Sighing, I handed the dog over.
“Alright, give her everything.”
“Everything?” the woman’s eyes widened.
“Yep, give her the best package.”
She grinned widely. “Of course. Why don’t you walk around while I get started. It’ll take a while. You might want to grab a cup of coffee.”
I grunted and walked around the store, looking at all the things they carried. I grabbed a cart and loaded up on dog food. With two dogs in the house, I’d have to make sure I had enough on hand. A woman came over and helped me pick out food specifically for each of the dogs. I was just going to get the generic shit, but she went on this big rant about healthy nutrition for the dogs, depending on their size and breed, so I got what she recommended just to shut her up.
I also found some dog bones for them to chew on, toys to play with, a second dog bed, and even a few blankets that looked really comfortable. By the time I paid just for what was in my cart, I felt like a complete idiot. These dogs had more shit than I did.
“Alright, she’s all ready for you,” the woman smiled.
I was pretty shocked. The dog looked amazing. Her coat gleamed and she didn’t have the same bad breath as before. “Did you brush her teeth?”
“Yes, we gave her the full spa treatment. Did you find everything else you need?”
“Yeah, and then some.”
She beamed. “Well, Susy will ring you up, but I hope you come back to see us again.”
I huffed. Not likely. This had already cost me an arm and a leg. I paid and headed out to the truck, sticking the dog in the back. But as soon as I got in the front, she jumped over the seat to join me.
“No, you sit in the back.”
I placed her back there again, but she didn’t listen. She jumped back up front, panting at me with what I could only describe as a doggy smile. I couldn’t allow a dog to walk all over me. I put her back and pointed my finger at her.
“Stay. Dogs don’t sit up front.”
She whined, and I swore I saw tears in her eyes. Did dogs cry? Staring at her sad face, I just couldn’t do it. I should have been able to, but those big, brown eyes just got to me. Sighing, I picked her up and scratched behind her ears.
“Alright, just this one time, but from now on, you sit in the back. Understand?”
She licked my face, yipping as she snuggled into my side. I suppose it was pointless to try and get her to stay on the other side of the truck, and by the time I hit the road heading home, her head was resting on my lap and she was sleeping.
22
Ciara
Waking up on the couch was getting really old. I had a crick in my neck from how I fell asleep. Not to mention, my legs were numb from the dog laying on my lap all night. Thank God, Princess hadn’t decided to sleep across my chest. I would have suffocated.
“Should we get some food, Princess?”
He barked and rushed across the floor to his bowl. I could hear his claws scratching at the wood and I grimaced. Antonio wouldn’t be too happy about that. I was going to have to figure out how to clip the dog’s nails, but I’d never done it before. Not that I knew of, anyway.
I quickly peeked in his bedroom, noting that it was empty and the bed was already made. I looked out the window. The truck was gone too. That man really hated me. It was like he did anything possible to stay away from me. I was going to have to find a place of my own soon, but first I had to find a job.
I poured some food in his bowl and refreshed his water. While he was eating, I went to the bathroom and quickly dressed. By then, he was ready to head outside. I slipped my boots and coat on, bundling up against the cold weather. I let Princess outside and followed, wishing I had a cup of coffee with me. Again, Princess sniffed around a little, but didn’t really want to stay outside after taking care of business. He ran back over to me, jumping up on me like he always did.
“You ready to go in?”
He barked, licking my face.
“Alright, alright. Let’s go inside. I need some breakfast.”
Princess rushed inside as soon as I opened the door, jumping up on the couch. I smiled and headed into the kitchen, making myself some eggs. After that was all cleaned up, I walked over to the stack of books that Antonio set on the table. It was nice of him to get them for me. I just wished it didn’t come with I did it because you’re a pain in the ass and you never shut up. But I supposed for a man like Antonio, that was asking too much.
I picked up the first book and sat down beside Princess, who quickly sat on my lap. Sighing, I leaned back and started reading. I didn’t see any point in looking at all the books first. I didn’t remember what I liked, so I might as well just start reading and see if it caught my attention.
I was ten chapters in when I finally heard Antonio’s truck pull up the driveway.
“I wonder what he got today,” I said, scratching Princess’s ear. “Do you think he finally got those things to build his fence?” He licked my face and barked. “Yeah, I think he just wanted to get away from me.”
Princess whined, hiding his head under his paw.
“Not from you. He wanted you, remember? No, he just doesn’t like me. It’s okay. We’ll leave the mean man behind as soon as I can find a job, which would be a lot easier if the man had a computer or something I could use. He doesn’t even have any newspapers around here. I swear, it’s like he doesn’t want contact with the outside world.”
He barked again and I nodded.
“I know. No man is an island.”
I got up when the door opened, ready to say something snappy to Antonio, but stopped when I saw what was in his arms. It was the King Charles Spaniel I had wanted. He went back and got it. I stared at him in shock. This couldn’t be happening.
“What did you do?” I asked, not knowing what else to say.
“I got you a dog.”
“No, I see that, but why? What did you do?”
“I don’t understand the question. What do you mean, what did I do?”
�
��Well, you hate me, and then you brought home the dog I really wanted.” Princess whined beside me and I bent over, petting him. “I love you so much, though. I promise.” He licked my face, like he was trying to convince me he loved me more. “So, I’m wondering if this is a kiss off or maybe you killed someone or…I don’t know.”
“A kiss off?”
“Yeah, you know, you’re giving me the old heave-ho.”
“I just brought you a dog.”
“But…you hate me.”
He sighed and walked closer to me. “I don’t hate you. In fact…” He stalled, like he was trying to figure out what to say. “I actually like you…a lot. And I don’t know how to handle that. I’ve never…liked a woman before. Unless you count my sister, and she hates me now, so you are the only female I have any chance of keeping on my side. And maybe Jo from the animal shelter.”
“I’m the only female,” I said slowly. “So, you got me a dog because I’m the only female that will come close to you?”
His eyebrows scrunched together in thought. “No…” Shaking his head, he ran his hand through his hair. “I’m fucking this up.” Clearing his throat, he started again. “You know when you first came here?”
My eyebrows shot up. “Yeah, I remember that part.”
“Okay, so my plan was to leave you at the hospital.”
“Yep, I remember that part too.”
“Obviously, I didn’t. And then the next day, I was going to take you to the shelter. I didn’t want you in my space, but then you were limping around and I told myself I would wait until the weekend.”
“Okay,” I said, unsure where he was going with this.
“But you kept having nightmares, and I thought…she’ll just keep having them if I send her to the shelter. So, I came up with the idea for the dog, thinking maybe that would help you. And then I could send you off to an apartment, one of my choosing, so I knew you were safe. And I could check on you if I needed to.”
“Right,” I nodded. “I’m still not sure where this is going.”
“So, we looked at apartments. You were there.” I nodded again. “And I didn’t like any of those either, which just pissed me off.”
Dead Man's Hand: A Small Town Romance (A Good Run Of Bad Luck Book 1) Page 14