“You know, if you’re trying to explain this, you’re doing a really shitty job—”
“Would you just shut your mouth and let me finish?” he growled.
“Still have the same attitude, I see.”
He glared at me. “I didn’t send you to the shelter or find you an apartment because…because I like you.”
I stared at him for a moment and then burst out laughing. “I’m sorry, what?”
His jaw was hard, clenching and unclenching like he was pissed. “I like you,” he said slowly. “I didn’t want to leave you at a shelter, and I didn’t like those apartments, not because of how bad they were, but because I didn’t want you to leave.”
Shocked. I was just shocked. That wasn’t the impression he had given me at all. In fact, I could have sworn that he hated me. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
“I thought maybe the tea kettle and the books would help, but apparently, just getting you stuff isn’t enough,” he said begrudgingly. “I guess I have to actually stop being so…me with you and tell you…”
“Tell me what?”
“You know…stuff.”
“Stuff.”
He sighed, rubbing his hand over his forehead. “Look, I’m not good at this. I got you the dog. Are we good?”
“Because you got me a dog?”
“And I told you…you know, that I like you.”
I was speechless. Was a dog really supposed to just make everything better? And then I got it.
“Wait, this is because you want sex.”
“Well, in a way, but not completely.”
“What does that even mean?” I snapped, feeling like we were just talking in riddles.
“It means…it means that yes, I want sex with you, and that’s partially why I got you the dog. But I also want to have sex with you because you’re the only person I want to have sex with.”
I frowned, shaking my head. “That’s the same thing.”
“No, it’s not. If I wanted sex, I could go find a hooker or something. And I’m sorry I referred to you as that. I was pissed and I didn’t know how to handle this.”
“So, you called me a hooker?”
“Look, you don’t know about my life before I came here, but if you did…well, let’s just say that I wasn’t a nice person. And I’m not saying I’m one now,” he rushed on. “I’m saying that I want to be the kind of person that you like also, and that you’ll have sex with.”
I shook my head slightly. That was by far the worst apology ever, and also the best. It was honest and I could tell that he was struggling just to say that much, which had to mean something. What that was, I wasn’t sure. But he liked me.
“So, do you want me to stay?”
“Didn’t I already say that?” he snapped.
“And there’s the asshole again,” I muttered.
He took this really deep breath, doing it several times to the point that I wondered if maybe he just decided to do yoga in the middle of our argument/apology/dog giving thing.
“I’m trying,” he said. “I know you deserve better than me. I’m not used to sharing my space, and yes, I’m an asshole. I’m not sure that you should be with someone like me, but you don’t remember anything before me, so I’m gonna take advantage of that and say that since you don’t have anyone else…why not take a chance on me?”
My eyes flicked from his to the puppy. She really was very cute, and he did go all the way into town, which I knew he hated, just to get me the dog. He couldn’t be all bad.
“Alright.”
He looked at me carefully. “What does that mean? Is that female speak for something?”
“I accept your apology, and thank you for the dog.”
He handed her over like he really didn’t want to. “I, uh…got her this whole spa treatment thing. And I named her Max.”
“Max? She’s a girl.”
“Yeah, well, you named our male dog Princess, so I chose this name. You can say it’s short for Maxine.”
I wrinkled my nose at that. “Maxine? She’s not an old lady.”
The dog stared at me, but didn’t react the same way Princess did. In fact, she wiggled down from my arms and went to stand beside Antonio. He smirked slightly, but when he looked back up at me, he put back on the face of indifference.
He shrugged slightly. “I guess it’ll just take some time for her to warm up to you.”
“Whatever, I have Princess.”
He jerked his thumb toward the door. “I have some stuff in the truck for them. I’ll be back.”
I watched him leave, bending down to try and get Max to come to me, but she went over to the door and sat there waiting for Antonio to return. Sighing, I pet Princess.
“Well, I guess it’s just you and me. Max has chosen her owner.”
He whimpered at me, nuzzling against my face. It didn’t really matter. Antonio was right, Princess was the dog for me, even if I didn’t know it at the time.
23
Antonio
“You’re so fucking stupid,” I berated myself as I stomped out to my truck. That hadn’t gone at all how I’d hoped. I shouldn’t have called Josh. His advice sucked. Then again, he’d told me to get the dog, so that was a point in his favor.
That whole conversation had been a disaster. If anything, I pissed her off more. And even though she told me she forgave me, it was pretty clear to me that it wouldn’t be too long before I fucked things up again. I just didn’t have what it took to do this, whatever this was.
It wasn’t really a relationship. It was being with her so I could fuck her and keep her around. I nodded to myself as I grabbed the dog bed and bones out of the truck. I just had to remember that I didn’t have to make leaps and bounds with her. I just had to find ways to keep her here with me.
“What did you get?” she asked as I walked through the door.
“Just stuff for the dogs.”
“You know, I thought you only wanted this dog for protection.”
I grunted as I set down the bags. I pulled out the dog bones and tore into the package, handing her one, then walked over to Max.
“Do you want a bone?” I asked. She trotted over to me, standing on her hind legs as she panted for the bone. “Yeah? You want the bone?” She snatched it out of my hand and I rubbed her ears. “You’re such a good girl. Yes, you are. Look at you with your pretty coat. I bet you feel really good after your spa treatment.”
She wrestled the bone on the ground, chewing and growling when I got too close. This dog was possessive of her bone. I’d have to keep that in mind. I grinned as I stood, turning back to the counter to see Ciara staring at me with a shocked expression on her face.
“What?” I snapped.
“Did you just…” She shook her head.
“I was just giving her a bone,” I snarled. Yeah, I had just talked to her like she was a baby, and Ciara had caught me. Fuck, this was not good. “She had a rough day. I just wanted to make sure she was okay.”
“Right,” Ciara nodded. “A rough day at the spa.”
“She was dirty,” I argued.
“Uh-huh. And how much was this spa treatment?”
“I didn’t pay attention. It was for you anyway.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “I really hope if you ever have a spa treatment for me, I don’t have to go to the pet store.”
“I was trying to do the right thing for you.”
She smirked. “I think you like the dog, and I think you took her there and just couldn’t resist having her pampered.”
“I did not. That’s just stupid. She’s just a dog.”
“One that follows you around. She doesn’t want me.”
“Well,” I scratched at my jaw. “That’s just because I’m the one that rescued her.”
“Because you wouldn’t let me get her the first time.”
Irritated, I stomped toward the door. “I’m going to get the rest of the stuff.”
“The rest? What e
lse did you get?”
I slammed the door without answering. Hell, I was just trying to do something nice and I couldn’t even do that without being teased for it. If this was the way this relationship went, I was screwed. I grabbed the rest of the bags, carrying them inside. Ciara walked over and started going through the bags, smirking as she pulled out various items.
“Aw, look at that. You got a pink brush.”
“That’s for you. I got a black brush for me.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I did. The dog’s probably going to be confused about his gender.”
“Why would he be confused?” she asked, placing her fist on her hip.
“The dog is a male that you call Princess. You have girly shit on him and you treat him like a fucking lap dog.”
“I don’t treat him like that! He just jumps in my lap. What would you have me do?”
Growling came from around the island. I walked around to see both dogs in a standoff over the dog bone. I stood there, worried for my little princess— No, not my little princess. She wasn’t my dog. She was Ciara’s. I just picked her up. Princess, the male dog, growled, baring his teeth, but then Max jumped on his back, biting at his neck.
“Holy shit!” I stepped back in shock, watching as my little girl attacked a dog at least four times her size. They rolled around on the ground, and despite her small size, she always got the upper hand against Princess, though I had a feeling that Princess was taking it easy on her. He was a Doberman after all. He could take out a Spaniel if he really wanted to.
“Stop them!” Ciara shouted.
I walked over and pulled my girl off Princess. Rubbing her under the chin, I walked over to the window, getting some space from the other dog. “Hey, calm down, baby girl. You have to pick your battles. See, when dealing with the enemy, you always have to be smarter.” She yipped at me and I nodded. “I get it. It’s your bone and you don’t want to give it up, but is this the hill you want to die on? I could just give you another bone. See, now you have to watch your back at all times. You never know when Princess is going to be waiting to pounce. And he has a lot of bulk on you.” She licked me repeatedly, and even though I found it gross, I let her do it. “I know, you’re small, but fierce.”
Giving her one last rub, I set her down and headed back to the bags. Ciara had a grin on her face, smothering her laughter with her hand. I glared at her and stomped out of the room.
“You just ruined your chances of having sex tonight,” I shouted over my shoulder, slamming the bedroom door behind me.
I watched Ciara reading her book at the other end of the couch. She was so engrossed in it that she didn’t even notice me staring at her. She was wearing sweatpants, a t-shirt, and thick socks. Every once in a while, she would rub one foot over the other. And when she got to a really good part of her book, her eyes would go wide and she would bite her lip. It was really cute, but I couldn’t say that. Could I? Hell, I didn’t know what I was doing.
I really wanted to throw her over my shoulder and carry her into the other room, but I wasn’t sure that I had made it back into her good graces yet. I needed an in with her, a way to get close to her and set the mood. But how did I set the mood? The closest I ever came to setting the mood was walking into a room and pulling down my zipper. I wasn’t sure that would work right now.
I got up, clearing my throat. “I forgot something in the truck. I’ll be right back.”
She nodded, but didn’t really say anything. I pulled on my coat and headed out to the truck, pulling out my burner phone. This was stupid. I shouldn’t call, but I needed answers.
“Hello?” Josh answered hesitantly.
“It’s me,” I said quietly.
“Christ, twice in one day? What happened now?”
“I need your help with something.”
He groaned. “You didn’t kill her, did you?”
“Why do you always assume that?”
“Kill who?” someone said in the background. “Who are you talking to? Carly’s already here.”
“Carly’s there?” I asked, my heart pounding. Shit, I wasn’t ready to talk to her yet. That meant reconnecting and talking about shit that I wasn’t ready to talk about.
“Yeah, she’s my wife. Did you think we didn’t spend time together?”
I sighed, starting to feel itchy. “Look, I just need some quick advice and I’ll let you go.”
“This should be good,” he muttered.
Irritated, I decided this was a terrible idea. “You know what? You’re right. I don’t need your help. This was a bad idea.”
“Man, you called me for a reason. Just tell me what happened.”
“Fine,” I snapped. “You want to know what happened? I got her the damn dog and then I fucked everything up by opening my mouth. I’m not cut out for this shit. I don’t do relationships. I don’t date women. And I don’t try and finesse my way into bed with them.”
“Whoa, hold on a minute. You said she was different.”
“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean I have to change who I am.”
He chuckled slightly. “It’s so cute you think that. This is going to be so good.”
“What is?”
“Me, teaching you how to treat a woman.”
“I don’t need help with that.”
“Then why the hell did you call me?” I didn’t say anything. “That’s what I thought. Now, listen up, because you need some serious lessons in how to proceed.”
“I do—”
“Nope, I was talking. You may be the big, bad mafia guy, but you know jack shit about women. Now, first, you can’t just go in there and demand sex from her. She may want it, but you started out all wrong with her. If you want her to stick around, you’re going to have to put in a little effort.”
“How much effort are we talking about?” I grumbled.
“Oh, relax. If the rest of society can do it, so can you. Now, start with something simple. Watch TV with her.”
“I don’t have a TV.”
“Christ, are you serious?”
“Why the fuck would I want to watch TV?”
“Because chicks like to, and then you have the ability to snuggle up to her.”
“I don’t fucking snuggle,” I said, the word making me want to spit nails.
“Well, women snuggle, and this is your way in.”
“I wouldn’t even know how to do that.”
“Simple, you’re watching TV and you sit beside her. You put your arm behind her head, letting her know that you’re open for her to come closer. Keep yourself relaxed so she knows it’s cool. If you’re all stiff, she’s going to think you don’t want her by you.”
“This sounds way too fucking complicated. So, what? I just pull her in and start touching her?”
“Good god,” he muttered. “This is going to be harder than I thought. No, you don’t just start feeling her up. Haven’t you ever just touched a woman in a gentle way? Like rub her shoulder or something?”
“Why the hell would I do that?”
“To be close to her,” he said like I was an idiot.
“You know what? I don’t think this is me. She either likes me for me or she doesn’t. But I’m not changing every single fucking thing about myself just to get laid.”
“It’s your funeral,” he replied. “But if you like this woman, you need to put in a little effort. I’m not talking about changing yourself. I’m talking about learning some moves to make this transition easier. I guarantee if you take her in the other room and fuck her, she’s gonna be pissed and she’ll leave when she can. So, ask yourself, do you want her to stay for a little bit? Is she just a piece of ass to you? Because there is a huge difference between the women you used to fuck and this woman.”
“You haven’t even met her,” I growled.
“And I don’t need to. If she has you calling me twice in one day, she’s not just some random fuck. Piss or get off the pot, man. It’s really that simple.”
; I grunted, not wanting to admit that I could see the merits of his argument. “Fine, what else?”
“When you do get her in bed—”
“Wait, how exactly do I do that?”
He was silent for a minute. “I thought you said you slept with women before?”
“Not…Christ, I just mean that we don’t sleep together. So, how do I get her in my bed?”
“Um…well, you could just ask her.”
“Just ask her…”
“Yeah, it’s not rocket science. You already told her you like her, so now you take it one step further and ask her to sleep in your bed.”
“But I don’t want her to sleep in my bed. I like sleeping alone.”
“Are you going to fight me on every single thing? Seriously, maybe you need to decide if you actually like this woman before you take this further. Because from where I’m standing, you’re not willing to put in the time.”
He hung up on me. Asshole. Stashing the phone, I got out of the truck and headed inside. She was still reading her book, not paying attention to me at all. Maybe Josh was right. She wasn’t going to pay attention to me if she had her nose stuck in a book. She needed a reason to pay attention to me. Well, I couldn’t fix that tonight.
I walked over to the couch and sat down, trying to figure out how to get her attention. Her feet were in front of me. Maybe I could give her a foot massage. I’d never actually done that before, but it couldn’t be too hard. I slid my hand out until I grasped her foot. She jerked back, looking at me funny.
“What are you doing?”
“Sorry,” I mumbled, glancing away. Well, that had been a disaster.
I glanced at the clock. It was close enough to bedtime. I could maybe just do it. Yeah, I’d just ask her, just like Josh said. And then I could try and snuggle her in bed.
Standing, I stretched like I was stiff. “I’m gonna head to bed.”
“Uh-huh,” she muttered, still reading her book.
“Do you want to come to bed?”
She glanced up at me, confusion on her face. “You…you want me to sleep in your bed?”
Dead Man's Hand: A Small Town Romance (A Good Run Of Bad Luck Book 1) Page 15