The Blood of the Conquerors
Page 39
The cream of his happiness was gone. Always when he was alone, he wasthinking and planning how he could keep her. All of his possessiveness wasaroused. He wanted her to have a baby. Somehow he felt that then hisconquest would be complete, that then he would be at peace.{~HORIZONTAL ELLIPSIS~}
He said nothing more to Julia because he saw that it was useless. He beganto understand her a little. It was futile to ask her to make a decision,to take any initiative. She could hold out forever against pleas whichinvolved an effort of the will on her part. And yet as he knew she couldyield charmingly to pressure adroitly applied. If he had asked her to meethim in New York this way, he reflected, she would have been horrified, shewould never have consented. But when he came, suddenly, that had beendifferent. So it was now. If he could only form a really good plan, andthen put her in a cab and take her {~HORIZONTAL ELLIPSIS~} that would be the only way. Thedifficulty was to form the plan. He had capacity for sudden and decisiveaction. He lacked neither courage nor resolution. But when it came tomaking a plan which would require much time and patience, he found hislimitations.
What could he do? he asked himself, not realizing that in formulating thequestion he acknowledged his impotence. If he went away and left her whilehe settled his affairs, she was lost as surely as a bird released from acage. The idea of Mexico City allured him. But he had hardly enough moneyto take them there. How could he raise money on short notice? It wouldtake time to settle his estate in New Mexico and get anything out of it.{~HORIZONTAL ELLIPSIS~}
Two unrealized facts lay at the root of his difficulty. One was that hehad no capacity for large and intricate plans, and the other was that hefelt bound as by an invisible tether to the land where he had been born.
As he struggled with all these conflicting considerations and emotions,his head fairly ached with futile effort. He was glad to lay it uponJulia's soft bosom, to forget everything else again in the sweetness of astolen moment.