Healing Hope (Helping Hands, Healing Hearts Book 3)

by J. M. Madden

  Hope turned her head, nodding. “She took them all the time. And when she didn’t get them, she…”

  The girl hesitated, glancing between them.

  “Remember what I told you, Hope?” Jess asked her. “I won’t get mad at you for telling the truth.”

  “I won’t either,” Paul affirmed. “We just need to know what’s going on.”

  Hope’s eyes filled with tears and began to roll down her cheeks. “Viktor told Mom she had to go get a box from the man at the airport. When we got to the car, and she opened the box, it was full of bags of pills. There were, like, a million in there. And she said we were going to run away with the box. So we did.”

  Ah… Tara was supposed to pick up Viktor’s shipment for him, and return. Obviously, Tara thought she could take the pills and get away.

  “Mommy said that we could make money now and be ipde…pendent women.”

  “Independent women?” Jess asked.

  Hope nodded, swiping a hand over her cheeks. “Yes. So we drove and drove and drove. Uncle Max kept calling us, but Mom didn’t answer. We just kept going. And she kept taking more and more pills.”

  Hope looked down at her lap, and Jess could tell she was thinking about what had happened. She had a feeling they were leading up to the crash, and the reason why Hope was so closed-mouth about what had happened.

  Sophie hobbled over from her bed, and stood up on her back legs to get to Hope, as if she sensed the little girl’s turmoil. Without a word, Paul lifted the dog to Hope’s lap, and they snuggled together.

  “I think Sophie wants you to tell us the rest, Hope,” Jess told her softly. “If we know everything, we can keep you safe. And we can keep Sophie safe.”

  Hope nodded, glancing at her father. “We met a guy named Harry. He took the box and gave Mom a bunch of money and some of the pills. And we left.”

  “Do you know where you were?” Jess asked.

  “My mom said Arizona, but then we drove a long time and I don’t know where we were.”

  Hope played with Sophie’s fur around her ears. It was obvious she was struggling to say something. Jess ran her hand down Hope’s dark hair, tucking some behind her ears. “What is it, honey? We aren’t going to be mad, but you need to tell us whatever it is.”

  Hope’s chin quivered and she glanced between them, then looked down at Sophie. “I killed my mom.”

  Fury surged through Paul at the desolation in his little girl’s quivering voice. Fury at Tara for the position she’d put them all in with her addiction, fury at the ineffectual system not seeing through her bullshit, and most especially fury at himself for not fighting for his daughter more. He should have been able to do something.

  All the silence and worry he’d seen eating at her over the past couple of months made sense now. She had been carrying this belief around in her heart, and he hadn’t seen it.

  “Hope,” he said, his voice rough. “There is no way in hell you killed your mother.”

  Her eyes widened at the curse word, and she looked hopeful for a moment, then her face fell and she gave him an earnest look. “I did, Daddy.”

  He shook his head, not willing to believe anything of the sort. “Tell me why you think that.”

  Jess’s hand continued to stroke down her hair, giving Hope reassurance that he couldn’t at that moment. Glancing up, he caught her gaze, and she gave him a reassuring nod. She thought he was on the right path. Good.

  “Hope, we’re not going to be mad at you,” Paul said, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He tried not to let desperation into his voice. “I swear. Sometimes kids see things differently than adults. Maybe I can help you see you didn’t do that.”

  There was a long silence, but they waited for the child to make the decision to talk.

  “Mom was almost out of pills,” Hope said softly. “When she took them she drove really fast, and she scared me. So, I hid the baggie with the pills in it. She turned around and yelled at me in the back seat, and that was when we crashed. The car rolled and rolled, and I went to sleep for a while. When I woke up, there was a man yelling outside the car. He got me out. But not Mom.”

  Damn. That did sound kind of bad, and he could understand why she believed that. He needed to convince her otherwise.

  “Hope, you did not kill your mother. Your mother died because she made wrong choices. It had nothing to do with you. She had an addiction and it made her make dangerous, reckless decisions, with you in the car. She shouldn’t have been driving at all. And you hiding the pills probably kept her a little clear-headed. You did what you could to keep her safe.”

  Hope burst into tears and buried her face in Sophie’s fur. Jess, with tears in her own eyes, pulled them close, and Paul wrapped them all in his aching, deficient arms, and wished he could do more.

  His daughter cried for several minutes, but she finally pulled back and looked up at him with a look in her eyes he hadn’t seen before. It was hopeful. She was desperate to believe that she hadn’t been the cause of her mother’s demise.

  “You had nothing to do with her death, Hope,” Jess said, swiping her own tears away and tucking hair behind her ears. “I swear to you.”

  Hope nodded, seeming overcome with emotion. Paul turned her chin with his bruised hand. “You’ve gone through something no four-year-old, almost five, should. This is big person, adult stuff. You should never have had to deal with it. I’m sorry, baby. I should have been there for you.”

  Tears filled her eyes again, and she leaned over from Jess’s lap to wrap her arms around his neck.

  Paul’s gut was churning with so many emotions, but right then, love for this child took the forefront. He would break his only hand, hell, he would die for her if it meant keeping her safe. Tears filled his eyes as her little arms squeezed his neck as hard as she could. “I love you, sprite.”

  “I love you, too, Daddy.”

  That was the first time she’d ever told him that, and his throat refused to work as he held her close.

  13

  Jess loved seeing the emotion on Paul’s face, but she felt a little like a voyeur. This wasn’t her family, and she needed to remember that. Yes, she was embroiled in their drama, but it would be short term.

  Her heart, though. This kid was wringing everything out of her, and she had a feeling it would hurt like hell when she walked away.

  Paul was working on her, too, though. Just seeing the emotion in his face right now made her wish she was the one evoking it. In a different way, of course. If he could love his daughter this completely, it made her wonder how he would be in a committed relationship. Not that she would be into that kind of thing, but she couldn’t help but dream a little.

  Jess had never really been in love. She’d loved, yes, many times, but never felt like she couldn’t move on. Men were great distractions. They scratched an occasional itch. But she’d never been so consumed with a man that she didn’t think about what was over the next horizon.

  Her mom and dad loved each other, she knew that. And maybe she’d gotten too much of her mom’s personality in her. While Dad was deployed, Mom could pack up seven kids plus pets, sell a house, buy a house, and get them all resettled in another state, or even country, within a few months. Jess had always admired her mother for having the gumption to literally tackle anything, and kick ass doing it. Her mother had never needed a man for anything.

  The love between her mother and father was something to see, though. When Dad was home, he catered to her mother, making up for all the time he couldn’t be with her. And they both put in effort to keep the relationship going. When Jess had been growing up, she’d hated being the oldest because it meant she had to watch the littles all the time. Looking back, though, she could see that it had allowed her parents to date and take trips, and cultivate their relationship.

  In a way, it was why she did this job now. She didn’t need the money. But she loved seeing emotional interactions like this and facilitating them.

  Paul
caught her gaze, and he gave her a look that she couldn’t decipher. He opened his mouth to tell her something, and the doorbell rang.

  They stared at each other for a long moment, until Jess blinked. She shifted Hope and Sophie completely to Paul’s lap and left the kitchen to answer the door.

  Staying safe, she peered through the window beside the door before she opened it. No scarecrow in a mask and black clothes. Actually, it was a muscular blond guy in a tight blue t-shirt and a matching ball cap. He grinned at her charmingly when she opened the door, and Jess blinked. It’d been a while since she’d been hit with that much wattage.

  “Hello, ma’am. We have a delivery from Imagination Station. One of our deluxe play sets. Are you Jess?”

  Oh, hell. Jess winced as she glanced out to the street and saw the giant truck. With everything going on, she’d forgotten what day it was. “I am, yes. Start unloading, and I’ll meet you in the back. There’s a path around the side of the house.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  The guy actually tipped his hat at her before turning away and jogging back to the truck, where he started directing a group of men.

  “Who was that?”

  Jess turned, not surprised to find Paul behind her. “So, I know I should have checked with you, but things kind of got away from us…”

  Paul’s blue eyes darkened. “Yes?”

  “I kind of bought Hope a swing set for her birthday.”

  He blinked and leaned around her to look out the window. When he saw the men and the huge boxes and bundles of lumber they were unloading, his eyes widened. “That seems like more than a swing set.”

  She gave him a broad smile. “Yeah, it’s kind of a big play set. You were so firm on the no pool thing, though, that I thought you wouldn’t mind going bigger with the fort.”

  Paul’s dark brows lowered, and he pinned her with a look. “This thing keeps growing. It started as a swing set, now you’re calling it a fort.”

  She shrugged and made a face, smiling up at him with as much charm as she could manage. “I got a deal on it from a buddy.” When he still seemed a little put out, she leaned in and gave him a bump on the prosthetic. “Come on, Paul. This is actually serendipitous. Hope has had a rough day. Her birthday is day after tomorrow. What better way to lighten the mood than with a nice gift?”

  That seemed to sway him, because he heaved a great sigh. “Fine. But send me the bill and I’ll reimburse you.”

  Jess waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it. It’s my gift to Hope. Can you go with me and decide where you want it positioned?”

  He gave her a nod, and they turned to go back through the house. Hope came running down the hall to meet them. “I put Sophie in her bed in my room. What are the men doing in the backyard?”

  “Well,” Jess said. “They’re building something for us.”

  The little girl’s brows lifted. “What are they building?”

  “Let’s go see.”

  They all trooped out onto the back patio. Paul headed across the grass to talk to the supervisor, and Hope settled onto a chair. There she sat for hours, watching the multi-level, multi-slided fort come together. The company was fantastic and had obviously done this many times before. Within about five hours they had the main structure built, and were working on the slides. Then they added the swings and extras.

  Hope got more and more anxious, almost bouncing in her chair, but she wasn’t allowed in the construction area. Even Sophie seemed excited, running very carefully on her three good legs when she joined them on the patio. Paul stayed inside most of the time, though he came out about once an hour to check on progress.

  When the men were done and the last of the scrap and mess had been cleaned up, the supervisor walked up to the patio, grinning. “I think we’re done, ma’am. Tell your boss, or husband, whatever he is, if he stains it next spring, it will last for years.”

  “I will. Thank you, guys.”

  He hesitated, like he wanted to say something else. She could see the come-on building in his mind, and she didn’t want to deal with it. “Come on, Hope,” she said, pulling the girl to her feet. “Let’s go check out your birthday fort.”

  The supervisor got the message, because he left with a last smile. Hope giggled as they walked through the yard. “He wanted a date.”

  Jess rolled her eyes. “Yeah, probably.”

  “But you didn’t tell him Daddy wasn’t your husband.”

  “I know,” Jess sighed. “I figured you’d pick up on that, you stinker.”

  Hope giggled, dancing beside her. It was almost like she was prancing in place, so anxious to get to the fort. “Go! Play, child!”

  Giggling, Hope took off to climb the fort. Built out of redwood to match the pergola, it would hopefully last several years. It was pretty, with huge dark green canopies for shade. The group had dug out a space in the lawn for it, lined the yard with edging and filled the inside with rubber mulch, which was so comfortable to walk on…

  Hope played for hours, swinging and climbing. At one point, she even dozed off in one of the upper lookouts, after she’d carried a blanket and pillow up there. Jess didn’t mind. If she could be that comfortable in a space, she would let her. And the backyard was completely fenced, so she knew not to leave the area.

  Paul came out and sat down on one of the chairs. He seemed frazzled. “What’s wrong?”

  He shook his head. “Nothing really. Just frustrated.” He held up his injured hand. “I’ve gotten used to being without one hand, but being without two is nearly impossible.”

  Jess sighed and gave him a gentle smile. “Well, maybe you can look at this as a learning experience. Surely you have people come through your facility that are double amputees, or more.”

  “Yeah, I do,” he admitted, voice resigned. “I think I’m angry that I did this to myself. Why didn’t I grab something to fight with, or run after you?”

  Jess snorted. “Well, you’re not a runner, for one thing. What branch were you in?”

  “Marines,” he said softly.

  “I thought so,” she smiled. “Well, if you had run after us, he might have followed. And then the fight would have continued. You kept him contained to the bedroom, then got him out of the house. I know you got hurt, but I appreciate you keeping us safe.”

  “And I appreciate everything you’ve done. You’ve gone so far beyond the job requirements.”

  Jess laughed. “Maybe you can leave me an excellent review with Carolina.”

  “I will absolutely do that.”

  They watched the sun slip beneath the horizon. It had been a long day. “If you’ll stay with Hope, I’ll go throw something together for dinner.”

  They ended up having cheese tortellini and garlic bread. Hope chattered almost non-stop, and seemed to be in the best mood Jess had ever seen her in. Then, without prompting, she circled the table to her father. “Thank you for my play set, Daddy.”

  Paul opened his mouth to protest, but Jess shook her head, cutting off whatever he was going to say. “He wanted to keep it a secret, but we forgot about it coming today. That was a good surprise, huh? It’s a little early for your birthday, but that’s the best part about your birthday week. You get little treats like that.”

  Hope nodded and gave him a big hug. “It was an excellent surprise.”

  “Are you ready to get your bath, Pigpen?”

  Hope’s laughter peeled, and she looked at Jess, head cocked. “Pigpen?”

  “Yes,” she affirmed. “You are caked with dirt and rubber dust. You need a bath so bad I think your clothes will stand up in the corner when you take them off.”

  She giggled until she dropped to the floor. “You’re crazy, Ms. Jess.”

  Laughing, Jess crossed to one of the lower cupboards and grabbed a quart bag from a box, which she filled with ice. Then she returned to the table and handed it to Paul. “Your hand seems a little swollen. Have you iced it at all today?”

  His grimace told her he hadn’t. “I
was busy.”

  “You need your hand. You shouldn’t be too busy to take care of your hand. Your only hand…” she emphasized. “Hold this until I come back.”

  He took the bag, sighing. Probably because he knew she was right. Stubborn men.

  She escorted Hope to her bathroom, but Hope hesitated. “Do you think I can take a bath in your tub?”

  Jess looked down at the little girl’s dark head. “Absolutely. Get your nightclothes.”

  Hope ran and retrieved a nightgown and panties. Jess went into her bathroom and started the bath, adding some lavender to the hot water.

  “Oh, that smells good,” Hope said, leaning over the tub.

  “Don’t fall in,” Jess cautioned. “I’ll be waiting outside.”

  Hope turned around. “Um, do you mind staying in here with me?”

  Jess tried to keep the surprise off her face. The poor kid was probably having flashbacks from the night before. Wow, had it only been one day? “I can do that.”

  So, while Hope played in the water and scrubbed the black grime from her body, Jess sat guard on the toilet. Surreptitiously, she observed the girl, but didn’t see any reason why she hadn’t wanted them in before.

  “Hope, I want to thank you for trusting me with your safety in here.”

  Hope swirled her hand through the water. “I didn’t like Viktor. He tried to get in the bathroom with me once, and Mom smacked him. She told me never to let any boy in the bathroom with me.”

  Jess gave a single nod. “Sound advice.”

  Kneeling on the floor beside the tub, Jess helped Hope wash her dark hair, then rinse it. Holding the towel open, she waited as Hope stepped out, then wrapped her up like a burrito. They were giggling as they entered Jess’s bedroom.

  “Can I sleep in the living room tonight?”

  Jess paused from holding out the nightshirt. “Let’s ask your dad, okay?”