Uncertain Loyalties (Dancing Moon Ranch Book 4)

by Patricia Watters

  "I have thought things through," Marc said. "I've spent the last two weeks thinking things through and I know what I want now."

  "What about college?" Grace asked. "Will you finish?"

  "I'll finish somewhere," Marc said, "but it won't be around here."

  When Marc picked up his duffle bag and turned to walk away, Jack moved around to block his path. "So you plan to just walk away from your mother, and your brothers, and Maddy," he said, the expression on his face a combination of anger and disbelief and desperation.

  "I notice you didn't mention yourself in that lineup," Marc replied, holding his father's steely gaze. "That figures. Give it a month and you will have forgotten I existed."

  "That's not so," Jack was quick to respond.

  Marc gave a snort of derision. "Yeah, Dad, it's so." He glanced at his brothers standing on the porch then focused on Adam, and said, "You have your golden boy over there, your champion bull rider, and a whole lineup of ropers and bull riders coming up. But there's a big world out there, along with a family I might relate to, because I don't relate to this one and never have."

  As he headed for his truck, Grace rushed over to him, Maddy still clinging to her, took him by the arm, and said, in a desperate voice, "I'm sorry, honey, it's all my fault, just please, don't go like this. When will we see you again?"

  Marc shrugged. "I don't know." Throwing his duffle bag into the bed of his truck, he yanked the door open, started the engine and left a trail of dust billowing up behind.

  "He didn't even... hug me... before he left," Grace said, in a voice choked with tears. "He hates me now, and it's all my fault."

  Jack put his arm around Grace, pulled her to him, and said, "He could never hate you, honey. Come on inside. We'll get through this."

  But as Sophie watched Jack and Grace turn into the house, followed by their string of kids, she knew it would never be the same for Grace, whose family was her life, because now there was a hole in her heart for the one son no one in the family could seem to reach, even though he was every bit as important to them as the others. He'd just never accepted that.

  Walking to where Rick and Sam stood, Sophie said to Rick, "Did you ever talk to Marc?"

  Rick shrugged. "Yeah. I also understand why he left." He glared at Sam. "But it was nice having a brother for a day." He walked away, leaving Sophie standing with Sam.

  "He's got a giant chip on his shoulder about this," Sophie said. "Marcs leaving won't help."

  "Rick has more going on right now than just Marc, but he'll have to be the one to tell you about it," Sam replied. "Meanwhile, Adam has a wedding coming up and no best man, and I hope this family can pull it together by then." He too walked off, leaving Sophie standing alone.

  Sophie couldn't imagine Rick being so upset about something that he'd let Adam down on one of the most important days of Adam's life, but whatever it was, very soon she intended to pump it out of him. Rick might be able to shut out the rest of the world, but he couldn't shut her out. She'd been a part of his life far too long to let that happen.

  CHAPTER 13

  With the kitchen in the lodge closed for the night, and only a few guests remaining in the great room, Sophie was surprised to hear voices coming from the direction of the hallway. Except for the live-in housekeeper, who usually retired to her room early in the evening, the housekeeping staff and kitchen help were locals who went home at night. But there was definitely a discussion taking place in the kitchen. Sophie went through the dining room and pushed open the swinging door and was surprised to see her mother…

  "There was no question it was Emily who was with the man," Justine insisted.

  "Mom?" Sophie said. "I didn't know you were coming tonight."

  "Neither did I, honey, but we have a situation on our hands." Justine shoved a chair out with her foot for Sophie to sit down. "You might as well come in."

  Sophie looked across the long kitchen table at Jayne and Grace, whose faces were a mix skepticism and disbelief, then turned to her mother, and said, "You were saying something about Emily being with a man."

  Grace pursed her lips and drew in a slow breath through flared nostrils. "Just because Emily was with a man at Starbucks doesn't mean a thing. She probably ran into someone she knew. She told Adam she had to go to Portland to take care of some last minute things."

  "The Starbucks was in Salem," Justine said, "and I know a flirting woman when I see one. I do know body language, Grace. In fact I used to give seminars on it. It was also obvious that they've known each other a while. He was a big guy, athletic build, very blond hair and brows, like he was Scandinavian."

  "That sounds like the guy Emily was dating in high school," Jayne said.

  Grace, whose face looked stricken, said in a morose voice, "Erik Lindstrom. If Emily breaks things off with Adam now it will kill him."

  Jayne looked at Justine, and said, "You mentioned they walked out of the Starbucks together. Did they leave in the same car?"

  Justine shook her head. "But just before they separated, he put his hand on Emily's face and she looked up at him, and there was definitely something there. He might even have kissed her, but someone nudged me to step aside and when I looked back, Emily was walking off."

  "Then Adam has to know," Jayne said. "If it's nothing, Emily can explain what it was all about and that will be the end of it, but Adam is about to make a lifelong commitment to Emily, and if she has something going with this man again it's better that Adam find out now than after they're married and have a house full of kids."

  "It's less than two weeks till the wedding," Grace said. Then her expression became brooding, and after a long stretch of silence, she added, "For the past two days Adam's been here instead of with Emily, and when I asked why he wasn't with her he said she had a lot of things to do. He seemed very down."

  "Maybe he suspects something," Justine said.

  Grace shook her head. "I think he's down because he can't spend time with her."

  "Actually, I saw Adam earlier this afternoon," Sophie said, "and he told me he was getting ready to go see Emily. I too noticed he looked down, and when I asked if anything was wrong, he told me Emily wanted to talk to him about something, then drove off."

  "This doesn't sound good," Justine said. "And Jayne's right. Adam needs to know."

  Sophie looked beyond Grace and Jayne to where Jack was standing in the doorway, a grim look on his face, and replied, "I suspect he already does."

  Which Jack confirmed, when he said, "Adam just got back from seeing Emily and we have a major problem on our hands. She's backing out of the wedding."

  ***

  While sitting with her father on a peeled-pole swing in a park-like area in front of the lodge, Sophie looked toward the winery at a grape arbor with a cluster of satiny bells hanging from its curved archway and twisted white crepe paper interwoven with grapevines, and felt cheerless. Even though Emily had broken the engagement, Grace insisted they leave the decorations up and not cancel the cake or flowers in case it was last-minute jitters on Emily's part. But after four days, Emily had not come around, and when Adam packed his horse and the mule and left for the mountains that morning, Sophie knew it was over.

  Sophie's parents stopped by, allegedly to tell her about several pieces of property they'd located, but when her mother excused herself to go talk to Grace, and her father moved onto the swing beside her, Sophie suspected her mother told him about what was going on with Rick, and he was there to be a father, but this time there was nothing he could do because she couldn’t discuss with him the extent of her relationship with Rick.

  "Your mother told me everything," Brad started in. "Maybe I can give you some advice from a man's perspective."

  Sophie looked at him in alarm. "What all did Mom tell you?"

  "Honey, you're not a little girl anymore," Brad said, "and your mother and I don't keep secrets from each other. She told me what happened."

  "I didn't intend for it to happen," Sophie replied. It s
eemed she’d been repeatedly telling people that. First her mother, then Becca, and now her father, when what happened in the stable was something private and intimate between her and Rick, and no one should have known, except that she couldn’t seem to keep it in, maybe because it was such a life-changing event.

  "When you love someone you do a lot of things you never intend," Brad said. "Tell me about Rick and maybe I can look at things from a man's viewpoint."

  "There's nothing to tell," Sophie said. "Rick was cynical about marriage before Emily broke off the engagement and now he's got to be even more cynical."

  Brad reached out and patted Sophie on the knee. "Well, for whatever it's worth, I was talking to Sam and he said that just before you arrived, Rick had been looking at engagement rings, wondering what kind you'd like, if it ever came to that."

  Sophie gave a little ironic laugh. "Yes, but the operative word here is before I arrived. Things changed the day I got here, and I'm sure Mom told you about that too."

  Brad nodded. "Rick's not a petty man. He'd overlook that, which is why you need to get to the bottom of it. He might allude to things that aren't the real issue here."

  "Or maybe he liked things the way they were before and feels like I'm putting pressure on him for a commitment, which maybe I am. I did tell him..." Sophie stopped. It seemed strange and awkward to admit to her father, after all these years, that she loved Rick. Whenever her father or mother implied as much, she flatly denied it.

  "Honey," Brad said, "It's okay with me if you love Rick. At this point, if you didn't I'd be surprised. This love the two of you have has been building for years."

  Sophie looked down at her clasped hands because it was easier than looking her father in the eye, when she replied, "Mom said that too."

  "But you didn't need your mom and me to point it out."

  Sophie shook her head. "No."

  "Honey," Brad said, turning her face so she had to look at him. "There are a lot of things in life that aren't worth a hill of beans, but there are others that are worth whatever it takes to get them. For me it was you and your mom. I don't need to tell you what it is for you."

  Sophie looked at her father through a blur of tears, then kissed him on the cheek, and said, "I love you Daddy. You've always made my world a little brighter."

  "Then go find Rick and do what you have to do," he replied, and nudged her on her way.

  ***

  After Sophie stopped by Rick's house looking for him, then checked the barn and stable, and asked at the lodge where he was, and got shrugs from everyone, and knowing he wasn't far away because his truck was parked beside the house, and his horse was in the pasture alongside the stable, she headed for the most logical place to find him. Whispering Springs. She hoped he was there because she couldn't think of a better place to get him to open up to her about whatever was bothering him. He wouldn't welcome her there, but turnaround was fair play. He'd been doing the same with her for years. She wondered if that would become a pattern if they were married, each of them going off to sort out things alone instead of talking things through.

  Well, it wouldn't become a pattern unless she let it, and today, married or not, she would drag it out of him, even if whatever was bothering him was something she didn't want to hear.

  After a hike up the riding trail, which was pulverized to dust by the trail horses, and another short hike, this time up a narrow winding foot path, she arrived at the spring. On seeing the entrance, she had second thoughts. Then brushing aside her indecision, she entered the grotto, determined to lay out the problem-solving rules they'd use for the rest of their lives.

  When Rick saw her, she caught the disturbed look on his face, a look that told her he didn't want her there, which she dismissed by saying, "Honey, I want to talk to you."

  Her endearment brought an immediate change in his expression, but not the one she'd expected. His face hardened, and he said, "What I told you before still holds. We need to keep some distance between us."

  "Not this time," Sophie replied. "I have no intention of getting in there with you and having a repeat of what happened in the stable, so you can relax, but I do intend to get some answers." She walked over to where he sat with his back against the rock wall of the pool and lowered herself behind him. After crossing her legs, she placed her hands on his shoulders and began massaging the muscles in his back with the pads of her thumbs, gradually working up the corded muscles on either side of his neck, and down his thick shoulders while pressing between his shoulder blades. "Just relax, sweetheart. Close your eyes and listen for the sounds."

  After a few minutes of stony silence, Rick allowed Sophie to tip his head back against her crossed legs, and he stared at the rock ceiling above. He said nothing, just sat looking up, but Sophie could tell he was in deep thought. But after a while she could feel the muscles in his shoulders ease beneath her massaging, and he said in a quiet voice, "That feels good."

  Sophie bent over and, looking at Rick upside down, kissed him on the forehead, and replied, "That's the idea." She closed her arms around him from behind and rested her hands against his chest. To her surprise, he covered her hands with his and held them there and closed his eyes. Feeling the warmth of Rick's chest radiating against her arms, and the beat of his heart beneath her palm, she closed her eyes too and waited, and listened.

  After a while, the sounds started, far off at first, as if wind was sifting through tiny fractures in the mountain while gradually drawing near. She'd tried to analyze over the years how the sounds appeared to be coming closer, then decided the sounds never changed, but on silencing the mind and listening intently, there was a greater awareness of them, which made the sounds seem louder and closer, until it was as if the voices of ethereal beings were swirling around. But after a while they diminished and grew distant, and a calmness settled in.

  Sophie had no idea how long they'd sat the way they were, with her palms on Rick's chest, and his hands covering hers, but breaking the silence that had settled around them, Rick opened his eyes and looked up at her, and said, "I took a home sterility test."

  Sophie saw the concern in his eyes. "Why did you do that?"

  "Because I was pumped full of chemo before my cord blood transplant, which usually leaves a man sterile, and I needed to know. Now I do. I'm the end of the Sam Hansen line."

  Sophie moved around to the side of the rock floor so she could look him in the eyes, and said, while holding his gaze, "Being the end of the Sam Hansen line isn't the end of the world."

  "It is if the woman you love wants kids of her own," Rick said, in a voice that held no reproof, only resignation.

  "Honey," Sophie said, "you gave me a choice of adopting or having my own kids, but you never gave me a choice of having you and adopting kids. It's you I want most of all. The rest doesn't matter."

  "It does to me," Rick said. "I want to make your life whole, not leave a big gap in it that could be filled with the kids you want, and could have with another man."

  "What kind of a gap do you think I'd have without you?" Sophie asked. "For the rest of my life there would be this big void you've always filled. I don't want any other man but you, and I don't want any other man to be the father of my children however they come to me and—"

  She stopped short, and when Rick looked at her to continue, she said, in a voice filed with amazement, "You just said you loved me."

  "I've loved you all my life," Rick replied. "When you first came here years ago and Santa didn't bring your mother back from heaven, I wanted to be your knight in shining armor and make things right for you again. I've never stopped wanting that."

  "Well, the only way you can make things right is to marry me," Sophie said. "Are you prepared to do that?"

  "No." Rick grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her into the pool with him, and after she'd shaken the water from her hair and mopped it from her face with her hands, and was staring at Rick in complete shock that he'd pulled her in with all her clothes on, Rick said, in a
firm voice, "I refuse to jump through anymore hoops."

  Sophie started to ask how she'd explain to everyone why she'd be sopping wet while trudging back to the ranch, then quickly dismissed that thought because Rick was smiling for the first time in weeks. But he was also sending her a very mixed message. "I don't understand," she said. "Then you're refusing to marry me?"

  "No hoops," Rick repeated. "So, will you marry me?"

  Sophie eyed him with bafflement. "What are you trying to say? I just told you the only way you could make things right would be to marry me."

  "Right. You told me," Rick said, "and then you held up your hoop for me to jump through."

  "It's always worked before," Sophie pointed out.

  "But it won't work as my wife," Rick said.

  My wife. Mrs. Richard Hansen. Sophie Hansen. She liked the sound of all of them, even if Rick was laying down rules, which she found oddly appealing. "So then, when would you like to get married?" she asked. "You do realized I asked you, and didn't tell you."

  "Yeah," Rick replied. "You're learning. I suppose you'll want time to plan all the wedding things like cakes and flowers."

  "Those are already arranged," Sophie said. "The cake's three tiers with purple and yellow icing pansies cascading down the tiers and interwoven with a trail of crystallized sugar ivy, and my bouquet has purple pansies, but with some maidenhair ferns and wild chicory like what I picked in the meadow and made into a garland for your head the last time we rode up there. And Grandma Maureen offered to let me wear her wedding gown."

  Rick looked at her, puzzled. "When did you do all this? We're only just now having this discussion about getting married."

  "Fate, providence, divine intervention," Sophie said. "Take your pick. If we go to the courthouse today we can get the license and be ready for a July thirty-first wedding."

  Rick thought for a few moments, brows gathered, then said in a guarded voice, "That's the day Adam and Emily were supposed to get married."