I Spit on Your Graves

by Boris Vian

  "Say! Dex," I said through the door. "Am I dreaming or did I hear some bottles clinking?"

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  "How about having one," said Dex. "I brought up a pair of them."

  It was a bottle of rum. Nothing better to help you fall asleep, or to keep you awake, depending on who, when and where. I expected to keep awake, but I heard Dex go to bed pretty soon after. It affected him differently from me.

  I waited a half hour and then slipped quietly out of my room. I had one pair of shorts and my pajama tops. I can't stand wearing pajama bottoms. They drive me wild.

  It was dark in the corridor, but I knew where I was going. I walked forward none too cautiously, since the rug was thick enough to muffle the noise of a ball-game, and I rapped softly on Lou's door.

  I heard her come over. Or rather I felt her come, and then the catch turned. I slipped into her room and softly closed the paneled door.

  She had on a stunning white dressing-gown which she must have stolen from a Varga girl. I could also see that she had on a lacy brassiere and a set of panties to match.

  "I came to see if you're still mad at me," I said.

  "You can't stay here," she objected.

  "Why did you answer the door then?

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  Who did you think it was?"

  "I don't know, - Susie I guess."

  "Susie's sleeping. And so are all the other servants. You know that as well as I do."

  "Just what do you want?"

  "Just this."

  I caught her in my arms and kissed her with all I had. I have no idea what my left hand was doing then. But she fought back and I caught on my left ear one of the best socks I've ever caught in my time. I let her go.

  "You're a brute," she said.

  Her hair was done up in the usual way, loosely, and parted in the center, and she looked just delicious. I kept myself calm, however. The rum helped me.

  "You're making too much noise," I answered. "Jean'll hear you."

  "There's a bathroom between our two rooms."

  "Oh! Fine!"

  I went at her again and opened up her night-gown. I managed to tear at her panties before she could hit me again. Then I caught her wrist and held her hands behind her back. She rested easily in the hollow of my right palm. She fought without a sound but with all her anger. She tried to butt me with her knees, but I slipped my left hand around the small of

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  her back and pressed her tight against me. She tried to bite me through my pajamas. I couldn't get my damn shorts off. I suddenly let her go and pushed her towards her bed,

  "Well," I said, "you've put on a pretty good show, but I'll be damned if I'm going to wear myself out for nothing at all."

  She looked as though she were going to cry, but her eyes shone with anger too. She didn't even try to cover herself, and I got an eyeful. She had a thick black muff, shiny like astrakhan fur.

  I just turned my back to her and went to the door.

  "Sleep well," I said. "Pardon me for the slight damage I've done to your underwear. I don't dare suggest that I buy you a new set, but I assure you will send me the bill."

  I couldn't have cut her any harder, though I've got to admit I've got some talent in that respect. She didn't say a thing, but I saw her clench her fists and she bit her lips. She turned her back on me suddenly, and I paused for an instant to admire her. It was really a shame. I went out feeling very funny.

  But not enough to bother me when I went into the next room, Jean's. She hadn't locked the door. I calmly went to the bathroom door and turned the bolt.

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  And then I took off my pajama top and dropped my shorts. The room was lit by the soft Hght of a floor lamp and deep orange drapes helped give a soft tone to the room. Jean was stretched out on her tummy on her low bed, quite nude, and was doing her nails. She turned her head when she saw me come in and followed me with her eyes as I locked the door.

  "You've got a lot of nerve!" she said.

  "Uh-huh,' I said. "And you, you were waiting for me."

  She laughed and rolled over on her bed. I sat down next to her and caressed her thighs. She had about as much notion of modesty as a day old baby. She sat up and felt my biceps.

  "Gee, you're strong!"

  "I'm as weak as a new-born lamb," I replied.

  She rubbed herself against me and kissed me, and then she suddenly twisted back and wiped her lips.

  "You've just been with Lou. I can smell perfume on you.."

  I hadn't even thought of that damn give-away. Jean's voice was unsteady, and she turned her eyes away from mine. I took her firmly by the shoulders.

  "Be reasonable!"

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  "I can smell her perfume on you."

  "I went to her to apologize," I said. "I'd been annoying her downstairs."

  I thought of Lou who must have still been there in her room, almost altogether nude, and the thought of it excited me even more. Jean noticed it and blushed.

  "Does that bother you," I asked her.

  "No-o," she murmured. "Can I touch you?"

  I stretched myself out alongside her and made her get down too. She slid her hands timidly over my body.

  "You're very strong," she said softly.

  We were now on our sides, facing each other. I pressed softly on her body and rolled her over and then snuggled up against her.

  She spread her legs a bit to let me in.

  "You're going to hurt me," she said.

  "Of course not," I said.

  I did nothing more than run my fingers over her breasts, cupping them and then coming up to the nipples, and I felt her tremble against my body. Her warm round buttocks fitted tightly into my thighs and she was breathing hard.

  "Should I put out the light?" I murmured.

  "No," Jean said, "I like it better this

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  way."

  I drew my left hand out from under her body and brushed her hair away from her right ear. Many men don't know what you can do to a woman by kissing and nibbUng at her ear-it works wonders. Jean twisted about Uke an eel.

  "Don't do that!"

  I stopped at once, but she grabbed my wrist and pressed hard up against me.

  "Do it again."

  I did it again for a longer time, and I felt her suddenly stiffen and then relax. Her head fell to the mattress. My hand slid along her belly and I could see that she had really felt something. I began to run my lips over her neck, yet hardly touching it with my kisses. I could see her flesh tense as I moved toward her throat. And then, very slowly, I took my penis and put it into her, so easily that I don't think she even knew it until I began to move it about. It all depends on how you build them up. She suddenly jerked herself away.

  "Am I hurting you?" I asked.

  "No, but caress me some more. Caress me all night long."

  "That's just what I'm going to do," I said.

  I took her again, this time roughly. But I -108-

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  stopped before she was satisfied.

  "You'll drive me crazy," she murmured.

  She rolled over on her belly, hiding her head in her arms. I kissed her back and her buttocks, and then I got on my knees on top of her.

  "Spread your legs," I said.

  She didn't say anything but spread her legs slowly. I slipped my hand in between her thighs and I again directed my penis, but I hit the wrong spot. She stiffened again, but I insisted.

  "I don't want to," she said.

  "Get on your knees."

  "I don't want to."

  But she arched her back and pulled her knees forward. She still had her head hidden ^ by her arms, and, very slowly, I did what I wanted to do. She again didn't say anything, but I could feel her stomach rise and fall and her bre
ath quicken. I dropped on my side without withdrawing from her, pulling her with me, and when I tried to see her face I saw that there were tears under her closed eyes, but she told me not to withdraw.

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  XIV

  About five o'clock in the morning I went back to my room. Jean hadn't moved since I'd let go my embrace-she was thoroughly worn out. I felt a bit weak in the knees, but I managed to get up from my bed about ten o'clock. I think the rum that Dex gave me did me a lot of good. I got under the cold shower and then asked him to box with me a while. He hit like a mule, and that put me back on my mettle. I thought of how Jean must feel. Dex had had to much rum; his breath knocked you down from the other end of the room. I told him to sop up a lot of tomato juice and then do a round of golf. He thought he was going to play the promised set of tennis with Jean, but she hadn't gotten up. I went down for breakfast. Lou was sitting at the table, all alone. She was wearing a pleated skirt and a light silk blouse under a deerskin jacket. I really felt something for her. But after that night I was fairly calm. I said good morning.

  "Good morning."

  Her tone was quite cold. Perhaps rather sad.

  "Are you mad at me? May I apologize for last night?"

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  "I suppose you can't help it," she said, "you were born that way."

  "No, I grew up that way."

  "I don't think that's funny."

  "I guess you're too young to be interest-

  ed." Lee.

  "You'll be sorry you said that to me.

  "I'd like to see the day."

  "Let's not talk anymore about it. Would you like to play a set with me."

  "Glad to," I said, "I could use a bit of relaxation."

  She couldn't help smiling, and as soon as we'd finished breakfast, I followed her to the court. She wasn't the kind to bear a grudge.

  We played until about noon. I could hardly stand up and was beginning to see everything in a haze. Just then Jean came up and Dex too. They looked to be in as bad shape as I was.

  "Hi!" I said to Jean. "You look in rare form."

  "Take a look at yourself," she cried back.

  "It's Lou's fault," I said.

  "I suppose it's my fault too if Dex looks as though he's got a foot in the grave too!" Lou said indignantly. "You just had too much rum,

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  and that's what you get. Oh, Dex! I can smell you a mile away!"

  "Lee only said half a mile," Dex objected strenuously.

  "Did I say that?"

  "Lou," Dex said, "Come play a game with me."

  "That isn't fair," Lou cried, "You're supposed to play with Jean."

  "No, sir!" Jean cried out. "Come on, Lee, take me for a ride before breakfast."

  "Jesus Christ, what time do you eat breakfast around here?" Dex said with feigned surprise.

  "Any old time," said Jean seriously.

  She put her arm through mine and led me towards the garage.

  "Should we take Dex's car?" I asked. "It's right in back and the easiest to get out."

  She didn't answer. She held my arm very tightly and snuggled up against me as close as possible. I made myself say some insignificant things, and she still didn't say anything. She let me go to get in the car, but as soon as I got in she snuggled up against me again, as close as she could without making it impossible for me to drive. I backed out and raced down the driveway. The gate was open and I turned right. I didn't know where that

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  would take us.

  "How do you get out of this town?" I asked Jean.

  "Any old way," she murmured.

  I looked at her in the mirror. Her eyes were closed.

  "Say, you know," I said, "you must have slept too much and it's made you very dull."

  She suddenly straightened up and took my head hard in her two hands and kissed me. I braked quickly-I wasn't exactly in a position to watch the road.

  "Kiss me, Lee."

  "Wait at least until we get out of town."

  "Oh, I don't care what people will say. I don't care if they all know about it."

  "And your reputation?"

  "Don't worry about it, just kiss me!"

  Well I don't mind kissing for about five minutes or so, but I don't feel like doing just that all the time. Lay her and go all over her, that's something. But not just kissing. I broke loose.

  "Be reasonable."

  "Kiss me, Lee. Please..."

  I stepped on the gas again and took a sharp turn to the right at the first corner, and then to the left: I tried to shake her off somehow so she'd let me go and hold onto

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  something else, but it was no go with that car : it rode too damn smoothly. All she did was put her arms more tightly about my neck.

  "But people'll talk about you."

  "I wish they would talk. They'll be so embarrassed later."

  "When they know we're going to get married."

  Glory, but she had sure developed fast. Some of them are affected by it like cats by catnip, or dogs by a dead frog. They just never want to let go.

  "We're going to get married?"

  She leaned down and kissed my right hand.

  "Of course."

  "When?"

  "Right now."

  "But not on Sunday."

  "Why not"? she asked.

  "No. It's silly. Your father and mother won't like it."

  "I don't care."

  "I haven't got any money."

  "Enough for the two of us."

  "Hardly enough for myself," I said.

  "My father will give us some."

  "I don't think so. Your father and mother don't know me. And you don't know me

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  either, for that matter."

  She blushed and hid her head on my shoulder.

  "Yes, I do know you," she murmured. "I could describe every inch of you with my eyes closed."

  I wanted to see just how bad she was hooked so I said :

  "Lots of women could describe me like that."

  She didn't look shocked.

  "I don't care. They won't do it any more."

  "But you don't know anything about me."

  "I didn't know about you..."

  And she started to hum the popular song that goes that way.

  "And you don't know anything more now," I told her.

  "So tell me, then." she said.

  "Well," I said, "I don't see how I could stop you from marrying me. Unless I go away. And I don't feel like doing that."

  I didn't say "before having laid Lou too" but that is what I thought. Jean was all gone on me. I had her in the palm of my hand. I now had to speed up my campaign with Lou. Jean put her head on my knees and curled up

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  on the car seat.

  "Please tell me about yourself, Lee."

  "O.K." 1 said.

  I told her that I was born somewhere in California, that my father was of Swedish descent and that was where I'd gotten my blond hair. I had had a hard time as a kid because my parents were very poor, and when I was about nine years old during the depression I started playing the guitar to earn some money and then when I was fourteen I had the good luck to meet a fellow that got interested in me and took me to Europe with him, to England and Ireland where I stayed almost ten years.

  That was a pretty good fairy tale. I did spend almost ten years in Europe, but not under circumstances like that. And everything I had learned I owed just to myself and to the library in the place I'd worked in as a servant. I didn't tell her either just how the master there treated me-he knew I was colored-nor about what he did to me when his little friends didn't happen to show up. Nor about how I left him, after making him sign a check to pay my return passage, in return for certai
n special personal services.

  I invented a big heap of lies about my brother Tom, and about the kid, and how he

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  had died in an accident, — it was caused by some niggers, I said, they're a sly bunch, good only to be servants, and she said she couldn't stand having them near her. Well when I came back I found that my parents home had been sold, and my brother Tom was now in New York, and my kid brother six foot under. I then decided to look for work, and I owed my present job to a friend of Tom's. That bit was true. She listened to me attentively as though it were the Gospel truth, so I pilled on some more. I told her that I thought her parents wouldn't let us get married, since she wasn't old enough. She said she was just twenty, and in that state that was old enough to get married without the parents permission. But I didn't earn enough money. She said she'd rather have me earn my own money honestly, and then her parents would surely like me and find me an important job in Haiti or on one of their plantations. While we were talking I tried to get myself located, and I finally hit on the road Dex and I had taken when we came there. I said I 'd go back to my work in the meantime, and she'd come and see me sometime during the week. We'd fix things up to go away somewhere to the southwest where we could be together a couple of days someplace where nobody'd bother us, and then

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  when we came back married, it'd be too late for anybody to do anything about it.

  I asked her if she'd tell Lou. She said she would, but not what we'd done together. Just talking about it got her excited again. I was glad we got back.

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  XV

  We spent the afternoon just any old way. It wasn't as nice as the day before. Real autumn weather. I took care not to get caught in a bridge game with the girls' local friends. I remembered Dex's advice and realized it wasn't the time to risk throwing away the couple of hundred dollars I'd managed to save up. It's true that those people didn't give a rap when they lost five or six hundred a throw. All they were interested in was killing time.

  Jean just kept looking at me all the time, and I whispered to her when nobody was looking to be more careful. I still danced with Lou, but she didn't trust me. I couldn't get her to talk about anything interesting. I'd gotten back the strength I'd knocked out of myself the night before, and I began to get excited every-time I looked at her breasts. As a matter of fact she didn't offer any objections when I petted her a little while dancing. Like the night before, the local people left fairly early, leaving the four of us. Jean could hardly keep on her feet, but she still wanted to go at it. I had a tough time persuading her to wait a while. Fortunately her tiredness kept her down. Dex kept on guzzling lots of rum. We went up