With All Her Heart

by Kat Brookes

Mama Tully could make the most beautiful wired ribbon bows, offering up her crafts every year for the annual peach festival Mason and his family held in front of their shop the second Saturday in August. The festival not only brought the community together but also helped raise money for the church’s missionary program. Constance would put together raffle baskets, which Mama Tully’s bows would decorate.

  Mama Tully smiled at the mention of her beloved dogs and then nodded. “I do need to get started on those. The festival is going to be here before we know it.”

  “Not quite three weeks,” Lila said with a nod.

  “It’s grown so much since you lived here. Wait until you see it.”

  “I won’t be going,” Lila replied with a frown.

  “What do you mean, you won’t be going?” Mama Tully practically gasped. “It’s one of the biggest events this town has. And you used to love Constance’s homemade peach cider.”

  She had loved Mason’s momma’s peach cider, and her pies, and her cookies—in fact, just about everything she made. “I don’t think my going would be a good idea,” Lila told her. “I don’t want to make what should be a positive day for all negative. Jake and Violet would be uncomfortable with me there, and understandably so.”

  “Maybe by then they’ll have come around,” her foster mother said hopefully.

  “Maybe so,” Lila said with a smile, even though she felt nowhere near as confident as Mama Tully was in that ever happening. “See you in a bit.”

  “Don’t hurry back on my account!” Mama Tully hollered after her. “I’ll be resting comfortably in my chair making bows.”

  Lila waved in response, unable to keep the smile from her face. That came, not only from her foster mother’s good intentions, but from being back in Sweet Springs. From finding the courage to make her way back to God and the forgiveness she’d finally been able to ask for. It felt as if through her return to the faith she’d walked away from so very long ago, through her return to God, the heavy weight of guilt that had been smothering her heart for so many years had finally begun to lift.

  And after that morning’s sermon Lila was even more grateful for the blessings she had in her life. Her early life might have been a heartbreaking struggle, but that hardship had led her to a better life. It had given her Mama Tully and the first real home she’d ever had. It had given her Addy, her best friend for life. It had given her Mason and taught her what real love was and, more recently, that those who genuinely seek forgiveness could find it. And it had given her Finn. It was true what they said: God is good.

  Lila’s gaze focused on the tree-lined path ahead as she walked along. She wondered how lunch with Mason’s family had gone for Finn. Her son had been over to visit with Mason and his family several times, but this was the first meal he was sharing with them. Mason had wanted to ease their son into his life so as to not overwhelm him, something Lila was grateful for. She owed Mason so much. If not for his insistence that their son attend church while they were there, Lila wasn’t sure they would have ever gone, even back home. Finn truly looked forward to going and was finally finding the faith she had never taught him—even as she was rediscovering it, too.

  As she passed by what had been her and Mason’s tree, Lila slowed, her thoughts drifting back to the past. To a time when she felt safe and happier than she’d ever been. To a time when she and Mason had talked and laughed and were the best of friends. When their love had blossomed right along with the trees that surrounded them. She had been so afraid to love him back at first. Afraid he would abandon her like her parents had. Over and over. And just when she’d finally come to accept the love he professed to her, feelings that went beyond close friendship, when she began to believe that they could have the future they had talked about having together, her parents’ lives had been taken away. That day, that painful loss, had changed everything for her. But here she was, back in Sweet Springs, where she had been able to mend some long-broken fences, reconnect with her faith, and, while she and Mason couldn’t be the family she longed for them to have been, her son finally has a father to look up to and a family who loves him dearly.

  Barking erupted up ahead, in the direction of the Landerses’ house, pulling Lila from those unwanted thoughts of her past. She recognized those excited yips and yaps, and relief eased through her. Mama Tully had been right. The dogs hadn’t run off elsewhere; they’d gone in search of Finn, maybe even Mason, of whom they were quite fond. Not that she could blame them. Mason just had a way about him, be it with rescued dogs or people. He was patient and kind and never failed to set one at ease.

  “Pop-up!” Jake called out from somewhere behind the oversize two-story farmhouse.

  “I got it!” she heard Finn exclaim.

  More barking.

  “Thatta boy!” Jake said, cheering Finn on. “Get ready for the next one.”

  Lila took in the happy chatter going on between Finn and his uncle as she stepped around the back of the house, grateful that the Lord had blessed her son with a family so willing to welcome him into its fold.

  Her unexpected arrival took both Jake and Finn by surprise. The ball Jake had just tossed up into the air dropped down into the open glove Finn had extended high up above him and then rolled right back out as her son looked her way. The baseball hadn’t even settled on the ground before Grits snatched it up.

  “Momma,” her son groaned as he watched the dog dart off with the ball.

  “I didn’t take it,” she said defensively, but with a smile. “Grits did.”

  “He wouldn’t have got it if you hadn’t snuck up on us.” He looked to Jake for confirmation of that statement.

  Jake walked over to retrieve the ball from Grits and then turned to face Lila. “We weren’t expecting you.”

  “I’m sure you weren’t,” she agreed. “I was out looking for Honey and Grits. They took off when I let them out to stretch their legs. Mama Tully thought they might be over here, and it appears she was right.”

  “I don’t have to go home with you yet, do I?” Finn asked worriedly. “We just started playing catch.”

  “No,” she replied, realizing that it would no longer be just her and Finn sharing the laughter and fun. He was now surrounded with those who brought him joy, in so many ways. She just prayed he would be able to get past the hurt she’d caused him, longed for the special bond they had once shared. The family that had recently spoken at church came to mind. They had been through so much, yet their faith had carried them through it all. Kept them strong. Like those wonderful people, she, too, would turn to the Lord for His guidance. Trust that He would bring about the emotional healing between her and Finn. With that in mind, she smiled. “You can stay. Just be sure not to wear out your welcome.”

  “Not a chance of that ever happening,” Jake stated, flashing a grin at Finn. “He’ll always be welcome here.”

  “I appreciate everything you and your family have done to make Finn feel welcome here,” Lila replied.

  He nodded and then looked to her son once again. “Finn, why don’t you go see if Gramma Landers wouldn’t mind fixing us a glass of lemonade?” His gaze shifted back to her. “Your momma, too, if she’s not in a hurry to start back to your gramma Tully’s.”

  Lila’s eyes widened in surprise at the invitation. “I have time,” she said, the unexpected turnabout in Jake’s attitude toward her making her hopeful that they might be able to lessen some of the distance between them.

  “Can we play more catch?” Finn asked his uncle.

  “If there’s time after we finish our lemonade,” Jake replied.

  With that, her son dropped the baseball glove he’d been using onto the ground and raced off toward the house. Honey and Grits, no longer interested in playing swipe the ball, chased after him, leaving Lila alone with Jake.

  An uneasy silence fell between them.

  “Where’s Mason?”
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br />   “In the house,” his brother replied. “He was out here taking turns tossing the ball to Finn with me but got a call about his upcoming mission trip.”

  “Oh,” she said, biting at her bottom lip to keep from voicing her concern about the danger Mason was putting himself in going to the Congo. His decisions weren’t any of her business.

  “He shouldn’t be much longer.”

  “That’s all right,” she told him as she clutched the pair of leashes in her hands. “I’m only here to get the dogs.” And to see how my son is faring, she left unspoken. “I’ll have my lemonade and then go.”

  “Now that you’re here...” he mumbled, shifting uneasily where he stood.

  Lila had known this day would come. “It’s okay, Jake. Have your say.”

  “I intend to,” he replied, but not harshly. There was more of a gentleness to his tone. “I was going to walk over to Mrs. Tully’s later this afternoon to talk to you, but I think it would be best to do so now, while Finn’s busy helping his gramma fix us some lemonade.”

  A knot of apprehension formed in the pit of her stomach. If she’d had any doubt that this was not going to be an exchange of pleasantries, Jake’s need to make sure Finn wasn’t around to overhear their conversation confirmed it. She owed it to Jake to hear him out, but before doing so, it was important to her to offer up another heartfelt apology. She needed to do so, because she had hurt him. Had hurt his entire family.

  “Jake,” she replied, “I know that nothing I say can ever make up for what I did to you and your family, but I truly am sorry for the choices I made back then.”

  “Lila—” he began, but she cut him off.

  “You have every right to hate me,” she admitted, unable to keep the words inside. “In my heart, I thought I was doing what was best for everyone involved. I thought wrong. I know that now.” She hung her head, awaiting her due from Jake.

  “Lila,” he said more determinedly, “I don’t hate you.”

  Her head snapped up, her gaze searching his. “You don’t?”

  He shook his head. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not happy with you for keeping Mason’s son from him, from us, for all these years. The hurt that caused both then and now still cuts deep,” he told her.

  “I wish I could go back and change things,” she said, shaking her head woefully.

  “I do, too,” he agreed with a sigh. “You know, Lila, I had begun to think of you as a sister, fully expecting you to become one through marriage to Mason someday, because I knew just how deeply my brother felt for you.”

  Her vision blurred with unshed tears. “I wanted nothing more.”

  “That’s why your taking off the way you did didn’t make sense to me,” he admitted. “I’d known you’d had a rough life before coming to Sweet Springs, but I never stopped to consider back then that the things you’d gone through in your past might have stuck with you, altering the way you saw things, reacted to things. All I knew was that you’d come from an unstable home but had found a home here with Mrs. Tully that offered both love and support. And you’d found Mason. I couldn’t understand why you would want to leave the life you had found here. Until last night.”

  Lila stood there, staring up at him. “Last night?” Then it hit her, and she stiffened. “What did Mason tell you?” The conversations she’d had with Mason back then and since her return had been between the two of them. It was a painful time that she didn’t care to revisit any more than she had to. But then that had led her to turn away from the future she had dreamed of having with Mason. Maybe it was time to open up to his family about what she’d gone through, let go of the shame and the pain that she kept buried deep inside her.

  “I didn’t know how your parents died,” he admitted. “Momma only said there was an accident, and Mason had never clarified what that had been. I’m glad he finally confided in me,” Jake told her. “At least, where some things were concerned. Otherwise I wouldn’t have understood as clearly as I do now your reasons for leaving. That beyond the shame you hoped to spare him, you didn’t want him to feel trapped the way your daddy had.”

  A tear fell onto her cheek. The last thing she wanted to do was rehash her past.

  “I’m so sorry, Lila,” he said. “Sorry that you felt the need to run from the happiness you’d found here. Sorry that your momma and daddy couldn’t get away from their addictions long enough to give you what every child deserves—a family who protects and loves them.”

  “And foolish me, I’d never stopped clinging to hope. I wanted my family to be a family.”

  “You wanted what every child wants,” he said, his tone gentle. “I thought a lot about my talk with Mason last night, and when I woke this morning, I knew what I had to do. Finn deserves a family who surrounds him with love and the knowledge that he will always have a place with us. Any of us. Whether he’s here or in Alabama. Not a family who is at odds with each other.”

  Jake stepped forward to wrap supportive arms around her. “We’ll find a way to make this work, Lila.”

  “How?” she said with a sob. “We live in two different states.”

  “That’s for you and Mason to decide. And it might not hurt to send a prayer heavenward for some guidance on the matter.”

  She would most definitely do that. Faith was a wondrous thing, as it seemed God had already begun answering her prayers.

  * * *

  Mason stepped from the house to find Lila wiping her eyes as she took a step back from his brother. A myriad of emotions filled him at seeing her distress. Protectiveness. Concern. The need to comfort her. Stepping off the porch, he strode toward his brother and Lila, a frown on his face.

  “Jake,” he growled, drawing both their gazes his way.

  His brother held up a hand. “It’s not what you think.”

  Mason looked to Lila and then back to his brother. “I think Lila’s been crying after talking to you,” he said, disappointment in his voice. “You said you were going to back off.”

  “Jake didn’t make me cry,” Lila said, surprisingly coming to his brother’s defense. “Well, he did, but not in the way you’re thinking.”

  Jake nodded. “I told Lila that we need to focus on Finn’s best interest and act as the family we are to him.”

  “Your brother doesn’t hate me,” she said with a sniffle.

  The tension in Mason slid away. He cast his brother a grateful smile. “Glad to hear that.” Looking around, he asked, “Where’s Finn?”

  “Probably in the kitchen with Momma,” Jake replied. “I sent him into the house to fetch some lemonade for us so I could have a few moments alone to talk to Lila.”

  “Jake tells me you opened up to him about my past,” Lila said.

  His good intentions appeared to be on the verge of stirring things up. “Jake, would you mind giving Lila and me a few moments alone to talk?”

  His brother nodded. “I’ll go see if Finn and Momma need any help pouring that lemonade.”

  When Jake had moved beyond hearing distance, Mason said, “He needed to understand.”

  “I told you things,” she said. “Entrusted private pieces of my life to you.”

  “I know that,” he replied. “And I held those confidences, even after you’d walked out of my life. But Jake needed to understand why you did what you did. Needed to let go of some of the anger he harbors toward you.”

  “Thank you,” she said, surprising him. He had worried she might see what he’d done as a betrayal of her trust.

  “We’ve got to do our best to pave a smooth road for our son to travel along as he grows into a man. That being said, we are Finn’s family. You, me, Momma, Jake, Violet and Mrs. Tully.”

  “Addy, too,” Lila reminded him.

  A frown tugged at his lips. He was still not happy with Addy for keeping the truth from his family all these years. She and his momma had forme
d a close bond when she was living with Mrs. Tully, Addy spending hours helping Violet and his momma bake pies and other desserts to be sold at the market. Her silence had also felt like a betrayal, but if he were to practice what he preached to his brother about Lila, he needed to do the same with Addy.

  “And Addy,” he agreed with a nod.

  “Mason...”

  His gaze locked on those beseeching blue eyes. “Yeah?”

  “Where do we go from here?”

  He gave an honest shrug. “I’m not sure. This isn’t a position I’d ever considered myself being in.”

  “Please don’t take my son away.” Tears welled in those troubled blue orbs, reaching a place in his heart that he’d forgotten existed. The part that had once loved her wanted nothing more than to make her happy.

  But her happiness was no longer his responsibility. Finn’s was. By all rights, he could go after at least partial custody of his son and have plenty of legal ground to stand on, all things considered. However, to do so would only cause more hurt, and there had been enough of that for all those involved to last a lifetime as far as he was concerned.

  “Two wrongs won’t make a right,” he replied.

  Her pretty features eased. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

  Same old Lila he remembered, always fearing the worst. “That’s not how I was raised.” Something his momma had reminded him of during one of their recent talks. And she was right. To be the man his momma would be proud of, the son his father had raised him to be, he had to do the right thing. Even if the right thing meant being apart from the son he’d only just discovered.

  “There’s so much we need to work out,” she said with a sigh. “In a perfect world, our son would have two loving parents to share his days. But life doesn’t always work out that way. I suppose all we can do is make certain Finn knows that he is loved and wanted by both his momma and daddy, no matter which of us he is living with at the time.”

  “Agreed,” he said with a nod. “Finn tells me Addy might not be here now until summer’s end.”