Flame- Wild Hearts

by Marie Scully

  She nods her approval, and I make my way towards the bright sun and a pleased Ben.

  ❖

  Danny

  Liam’s home is still just as intimidating as it was the first time I visited, though apparently his sister and father are out of town. That puts less pressure on tonight—I can just be myself with Liam and not worry that I’m saying the wrong thing. Plus, I’m not wearing clothes that say I’m ready to meet my boyfriend’s father given my ripped jeans, Margaritaville T-shirt, and tennis shoes.

  I’ve only met Liam’s sister a handful of times—the first time being at Liam’s party—but like Nicole, she looks like she belongs on a magazine with her long legs and amazing figure. Unlike Nicole, she seems quiet but sweet. Nevertheless, I still wouldn’t want to sit across the dinner table from her looking as I do. I glance at the classic movie Halloween dangling between my fingers. When Liam told me he’d never seen it, I knew it was going to have to be one of the first movies we watched together. He told me to pick the movie tonight, and it was a natural choice. I weigh my options—should I ring the doorbell or just peek my head in.

  To be on the safe side, I ring the bell and hear it ringing back at me. I feel like an insurance salesman going door to the door, waiting for that one lucky customer to open up. Through the frosted-glass windows, I see a figure that looks like Liam coming towards me.

  He pulls the door wide, allowing me entrance. He looks as relaxed as I feel in jeans and a simple white T-shirt that hangs loose, with no shoes. He leads me through the house towards the kitchen, pointing out different rooms and objects that we pass. The kitchen is a mess. Ingredients, pots, pans, and knives are thrown everywhere. Three open cookbooks sit open on the large kitchen island, each showing a different recipe. One for lasagna, another for a chicken dish, and the third a pot pie. I run my finger along the counter, picking up spilled spices. Liam smiles sheepishly as he jumps to sit on the counter.

  “To be a hundred percent honest, I don’t cook all that much,” he says sheepishly, shrugging.

  “Hmm. I couldn’t tell.” I stop by the sink and rinse my hands. “Chef Liam, have you at least decided what to make for dinner?”

  He opens his mouth to answer, but his eyes move behind me towards the kitchen door as Lex enters the room. “Hopefully Pizza Hut. It’s safer than his cooking. Trust me.”

  Liam hops off the counter to give his sister a quick hug, saying, “What are you doing here? I thought you guys were going to be gone till morning.”

  A man’s low growl carries from down the hall, his tone aggressive as he speaks to the person on the other end of the phone. His voice is getting clearer, signaling that he’s making his way towards the kitchen. Lex explains that they returned early because of a business deal that’s taken a wrong turn. Apparently, their father’s been in a rough mood all day.

  Great. Just great. On top of my looking underdressed, the man is already in a bad mood. I guess Halloween isn’t the only horror movie happening tonight.

  Liam looks at me and voices my thoughts. “Great. I wish you’d texted, Lex.”

  Lex bites back, “Well, I wish that you texted ever. But you don’t. If I’d known you had company, I would have let you know.”

  She goes to the fridge and gets a bottle of water, quickly opening it and taking a large drink. Liam watches his sister with surprise. She must have had a rough day. Their father enters the kitchen then and looks between the three of us, before looking me up and down with disgust. He’s definitely not a fan of mine already.

  Without a word, the phone still pressed to his ear, he retreats from the kitchen.

  Lex sits the water on the counter, her eyes moving from one mess to the other. Her body is tense—she rolls her neck back and forth, closing her eyes. Liam and I say nothing, neither wanting to set her off. After a few neck rolls, she flips through the nearest cookbook, landing on a recipe for chicken. Her eyes still glued on the page, she says, “I’ll make dinner for everyone. I need to do something anyway.” She points a finger at both of us. “But you guys clean up. Deal?”

  Liam and I look at each and answer as one with a yes.

  After seeing the mess Liam made in the kitchen, I feel safer having Lex cook. She shoos us away with a hand motion and Liam leads me up the staircase towards what I assume is his room. He quickly closes the door behind us. There are moving boxes throughout the room. The only thing that remains in place is a queen-sized bed, desk, and dresser. Everything else he has must be in the closed boxes.

  “Moving?” I ask, going to sit on the edge of the bed.

  “It’s been a process. I’ve been moving out for over two years. I have a small place a few miles away. I’ve been moving small things here and there.” He sits beside me. “The only reason I haven’t fully moved out is because of Lex. I asked her to move in with me, but she can’t seem to just move on. She keeps hoping that she’s going to get our father’s approval. I guess she hopes that by staying here, he’ll notice her. But I can’t keep going back and forth. In the next few weeks I’ll leave properly. Maybe that will force Lex to move.”

  “Why does he treat her the way he does?”

  “Because she reminds him of our mother—she looks just like her. Believe it or not, he never used to be like this before she died. Something in him just broke and never healed. I don’t think he’ll ever forgive her for leaving us. He’s put all his energy into work and what little time he has he uses to take his anger out on Lex. I don’t get it as bad as she does. It’s odd because you would think my riding would affect him more than it does—my mother was an amazing rider.”

  The look in his eyes tells me that his ghosts are starting to show up.

  “What does this new place look like? Have you upgraded? Does it have a moat?”

  Liam lets out a deep laugh. “No moat. It was a debate, but the alligators cost extra. I had to put my foot down somewhere. What’s the point of a moat without alligators?”

  “Well of course,” I say, trying to hold back my laughter and keep my face serious. “Makes perfect sense.”

  “It’s a good size. Three bedrooms, two and a half baths. Large eat-in kitchen. I think the outdoor space is the best part. We can go by in the next couple of days if you want.”

  “I don’t know. Without the moat, I don’t know if it’s worth even looking at.” Finally, I let my laughter out as he pulls me into a lying position on the bed, tickling me. I keep laughing as he finds my ticklish parts.

  “Okay, okay, you win, no moat,” I cry out.

  “Good,” he says, gazing into my eyes. Then he’s kissing me, and I forget all about moats.

  Lex texts us when dinner is ready and we quickly make our way to the dining room. The last time I’d been in the vast room, the twelve-seat table had been pushed to the wall to make way for the beer pong table. Liam’s father is seated at the head of the table, still speaking on the phone. On the table is a large glass bowl filled with a leafy salad; near the salad sits smaller dishes with mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, and rolls. My mouth is watering at the sight as Lex walks in with a plate filled with chicken breasts.

  While I’m still upset that I have to sit through this meal looking like I just got out of bed in front of Liam’s family, my stomach is happy that his sister is the one who cooked dinner. If it tastes as good as it looks and smells, I may be showing up for dinner more often.

  “Then take care of it.” Liam’s father slams the phone down on the table, causing the glasses to shake.

  Liam and Lex don’t react to the outburst. It must be a common occurrence.

  “Incompetence,” he mutters to no one in particular.

  Liam attempts to break the awkwardness with, “Diner smells great, Lex. Thanks for cooking.” He makes a move to the table and I follow. He pulls out the chair one space away from his father for me and takes the seat next to him, while Lex takes the seat across from Liam.

  Liam’s father gets back on the phone and starts typing without a word. Lex looks at
him with hurt on her face. Liam doesn’t notice as he’s reaching for the bowl of corn, and she quickly masks it before anyone else can see.

  “Lex, it looks amazing. How did you learn to cook? Obviously not from your brother,” I say, poking him in the side.

  “Hey, I can cook something.”

  Lex and I look at him, waiting for an example.

  “Popcorn. I can cook popcorn.”

  “This is true,” Lex confirms.

  “Pass the corn.” I jump at their father’s voice; I wasn’t expecting it. Liam passes the corn without a word and we all start eating with little conversation. Between bites, their father types.

  “My mother cooked. I guess I inherited her skills.” Lex’s voice comes out strong from across the table. Liam stops, the fork with salad halfway to his mouth, staring at his sister like she’s grown a second head. Their father stops typing, and I look down at the napkin in my lap. This dinner is starting to give me déjà vu.

  ❖

  The candles cast shadows on the walls as if they’re shadow puppets. The only sounds that can be heard are the chewing of the lobster, along with the sides. The table is filled with food that the chef has prepared. I want to try one of the rolls, but that dish is near… and I don’t want to disturb the silence. In the past, when I would come to these diners—Father calls it practice—there was some talking. Not a lot of laughter or joking around like when James and I eat together, but still something. Tonight, there is nothing. I feel like I missed something. When I got in this morning, it was like this as well. The house feels heavy. As if there’s a bomb in the corner and we’re all just sitting around watching it count down.

  “You got a C.” My father’s voice slices through me. He doesn’t raise his voice—as if he was just asking me to pass the salt. His calmness is what scares me the most. The bomb is about to go off.

  Nick looks up from his plate and meets his gaze head-on. I look at the floor; Holly and Liz keep eating. I want to crawl under the table and hide.

  “Yes. It was the last test. I went and asked if I could do extra credit or retake it. She said no. I’m sorry—I’ll do better next time.”

  For what seems like eternity, they stare at each other. Both refuse to blink.

  “You are a part of this family, and as such you don’t need extra credit. You don’t need to retake the test. What you needed was to not fuck up the first time.”

  “Chris,” Liz begins before Father raises his hand to silence her.

  “You’re a disappointment. Get out of my sight,” he hisses, eyes flashing.

  “Chris,” Liz starts again.

  “Shut up,” he growls before forking more lobster. Then he looks at me and snaps, “Get your eyes up,” before he returns his attention to the still-sitting Nick. “What are you still doing here? Leave.”

  Nick meets my eyes before removing himself from the table, both of us knowing that I would be next to leave.

  Fifteen minutes later, I’m asked to go as well for dropping my fork on the ground.

  ❖

  “Danny, is it?” Their father’s voice cuts through the memory like a knife.

  As I move to respond, he turns his eyes from me to Liam and continues as if I’m not there. “What happened to Nicole? Now that’s a woman that will help you get to where you want to go.”

  Taking a sip of his red wine, he continues, “I can’t believe you let that one get away. For what? I don’t understand why you would choose a ranch hand that looks like she doesn’t have enough money for cab fare to get from Wild Horse Ranch to ours.”

  My hands twist into fists underneath the table, nails biting into flesh. He knows nothing about me. I shouldn’t be stunned; it’s neither the first time nor the last that I’ll be judged this way. People seem to only see what they want to see and what’s surface level. It’s not that I genuinely care about his opinion of me—I only care about Liam and Ben’s family—but it still stings to hear those words. Years ago, my reaction would be to get up and walk out or to tell him what I thought of him, but I want to make this relationship with Liam work. He makes me happy. I don’t want to make this dinner any worse than it is already.

  I take a deep breath and bite my tongue. Liam is tense next to me, ready to explode. He grips the fork in his hand, staring daggers at his father.

  Moving my hand to Liam’s upper thigh, I give him a squeeze. The last thing we need is for him to go off.

  “Yes, let’s all focus on Liam once more. We all know that he’s the only child you think about,” Lex says. Throwing her napkin on the table, she continues to glare. Like a ping-pong match, I don’t know where to look.

  “Lex, we have company. This conversation can wait,” their father says through clenched teeth.

  “Company you just insulted?” Lex fires back. “We’re never going to have this conversation because you simply won’t change. You hate me for something I have no control over.”

  “Enough,” he roars as his fist hits the table.

  “No, I get to say when it’s enough for once.” She stands up, looking down at her father. “I have done everything humanly possible to make you… I don’t even know… love me, care about me, respect me a little. You’re not capable.”

  Sharply turning to Liam, she says, “Do you know what he said?” Before Liam can respond, she raises her voice. “After a few large glasses of whiskey, he had the gall to say that Mom had it right leaving. That if he had some pills on hand, he would follow her lead and that maybe if he was lucky I’d do it as well, so he wouldn’t have to look at me anymore.”

  “Danny,” Liam says.

  “Yeah.” I stand up quickly, knowing he doesn’t want me to see what’s going to happen next. I promptly leave the room and go back to his. I have no wish for others to see my family drama and understand Liam not wanting me to view his.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Liam

  Thankfully Danny leaves as the real fireworks begin. Lex grabs the empty wine glass and chucks it at the far wall. It shatters into a million little pieces with a crash. I’ve only seen her lose her temper two other times in the past, and unfortunately, broken glass was involved in both of them. She never expresses her feelings and keeps them bottled up until something royally pisses her off. I look at our father, waiting to see his reaction. He’s never seen this side of his daughter. I also want to hear if he has anything to say about her words.

  Dad’s always been cold and indifferent to Lex, but never have I heard him say anything as horrible as what she just claimed. Lex was never told what happened to our mother—it was always my cross to bear. Dad looks at her as if seeing her for the first time. His lips part and he just stares, not knowing what to say.

  Lex shakes her head and looks as if she just came out of a daze. “Forget it. I don’t care anymore. You don’t get to affect me anymore.”

  As she stomps off, I look again at my father, still waiting for him to say something. Anything. But he continues to stare at the spot that Lex just left.

  “She means it. You know that, right? She’s done with you. Honestly, I can’t believe you said that to her. Drunk or not. After all your hard work making it appear Mom died in an accident. I want you to know the only reason I kept it a secret was because of Lex. I didn’t want her living with the knowledge of what happened. But you had to take that away from her like everything else.”

  He continues to stare at nothing.

  I don’t even know if he can hear me as I finish, “I know you’re ashamed of how Mom died, but she would be ashamed of you too.”

  I stand and look around the room as if seeing it for the first time. Everything in this room has changed since my mother died: The walls are now gray, lights fixtures are new and shiny, my mother’s grandmother’s table long replaced with a mahogany table, the painting she’d bought while traveling sold and almost wholly forgotten. I look at my father and realize that there’s honestly nothing left of who he used to be. He died the same day she did.

&
nbsp; Over the years he’s tried to erase her, but all he’s done is make her ghost stronger. The result is him pushing everyone away. Looking at him now, I almost feel something akin to pity. Not for the man he is today, but for the person he used to be and the person he could have been. I pity them both, but the man in front of me made his choices. I’ve grown numb to what he’s said and done to me over the years, but hurting Lex as entirely as he has is the end of the line.

  ❖

  Danny

  I join Lex in her room to see her throwing clothes in a bag.

  “Need any help?” I inquire, looking for another bag.

  She points to a pink suitcase hiding in the closet. “Just throw what you can in there. I’ll figure the rest out later. I need to get out of this house before I kill someone.”

  She continues to stuff clothes in the duffel then reaches for the framed picture of herself and Liam sitting on the bedside table. Placing it on the top of the clothes she asks, “Did you know? About my mom. Liam didn’t look surprised and obviously knew. Did he tell you?”

  Not knowing how to answer her, I simply say nothing and continue packing. My non-answer was answer enough though and Lex gives a humorless laugh. “Can’t say I’m surprised. You two seem to click more than anyone else he’s been with. It would’ve been nice if he’d told me the truth years ago. What does he think? That I couldn’t live with it?” she says bitterly.

  I bend down, picking up a pair of black heels to place in the suitcase. “I don’t think it has as much to do with you as you think. I think it has more to do with Liam and your father. Yes, Liam was trying to protect you but, in a way, he was also trying to protect himself. Maybe in a way, because no one knows, it made it less real for him how she died.”

  Before she can respond, Liam pops his head in the door. “I see you two are getting a head start on the packing. What can I do?” he asks, looking at his sister with a cautious expression, as if trying to determine if she’s going to throw something at his head, start crying, or stab him. Based on her show of anger, I would put my money on it not being crying.