by Marie Scully
My mind rages with this debate all the way home and into sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Liam
Melanie does a spin in her dress to make sure it’s just as perfect as it was the first five times she did it. I instantly regretted asking her to join me for this conference. She’s been driving me nuts. She talks, but nothing she says has any meaning. It’s as if she talks just to hear her own voice. The only thing she asks me about are how many races I’ve won and if there really is money in horse racing. Lex meet her briefly before we left for the airport, and based on Lex’s nonverbal cues, she wasn’t impressed. We fit together well in bed, but as soon as the sex is over all other chemistry dies. Last night took a turn when Melanie was talking about something and I started thinking about Danny, wishing I could talk to her. But that can’t happen. I’ve been doing a good job keeping her off my mind, and she needs to stay there.
“What do you think?” Melanie asks, thankfully interrupting my thoughts, but I have no clue what’s she’s talking about.
“I’m sorry, what do I think about what?’
“The dress? Am I going to wow your people?” she asks, beginning to spin around once more. I grab her before she can complete the turn as I’m starting to get dizzy.
“Oh yes, wow is the word I would use.” I glancing at my watch, hoping it’s time to go. “Well, it’s showtime. Let’s hit the road.”
Thankfully the place we’re going isn’t far from our hotel, and Melanie will have more people to talk to soon. When we get back, I’m telling her the truth and making a clean break. It was only a two-week thing anyway, but I think she’s more invested than I am.
❖
Melanie started to look and sound uninterested at about the tenth hello. Why did I have to bring a date? I would’ve been better going solo or, hell, taking Nicole. When we were speaking to Scott Kelly, she looked more interested in her tennis bracelet than the conversation.
Thankfully she waits until after Bill walks away to ask me to get glasses of wine. I could’ve grabbed some from the closest waiters, but I needed a moment away from Melanie.
My desire for respite sends me out of the main room and down the hall towards the kitchen. Leaning against the wall, I close my eyes, enjoying the silence, but having one’s eyes closed by the kitchen doors isn’t the right choice—the door bursts open, hitting me in the face.
“Ouch,” I yelp like a kicked puppy or a kid that got hit by a ball in gym. Glasses fall and crash. Liquor and glass surround my feet.
“Oh my God. I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there,” an unexpected voice rings out. Moving my hand from my face, I watch as Danny’s expression changes from surprise to shock—she looks as if she’s going to throw up.
You’ve got to be shitting me.
❖
Danny
Oh no. No, no, no. I wasn’t even supposed to be at work today. May had woken me up and begged me to take her shift as she was still hungover and puking from the previous night.
I got here ten minutes late because, again, I wasn’t supposed to be here. Kathy, my manager for this event, reprimanded me then sent me to the kitchen to get refills as the bar had already emptied out most of their bottles. May had told me the event was a fundraiser for homeless pets, but if Liam’s here, I highly doubt that’s true. I’m going to kill her when I get home.
I’m flustered and I don’t like this feeling. This leads me to say an extremely stupid thing. “Hi, Liam.”
His eyes bulge as if he can’t believe that’s what I’ve chosen to say after everything, but I don’t know what else to do. I’m trying to get my pulse to stop racing from having him in front of me. He still looks as good as ever. I was hoping the interview camera had just got a good angle and that he had, in fact, lost some hair and gained ten pounds since I’d left, but even if he had, I still think that the chemistry would be there. There was something about Liam that still called to me even though he looked like he wanted to wring my neck.
“Seriously? That’s what you have to say,” Liam growls, shaking wine from his grey jacket.
“I guess I could’ve started with sorry about the wine, but I figured you already knew that,” I say in an attempted to defuse the situation and bend down to start picking up the broken glass. Quickly I start grabbing the large pieces, wanting to escape back to the kitchen to catch my breath and make a plan of action. I could call May and tell her to get her ass up and get here.
My eyes stay focused on the job at hand, and I hope that Liam just walks away and leaves. Instead, he gives a humph and sinks to his haunches to help me.
“Liam, I have this. Go back to the event.” I hate the slight begging tone in my voice. He says nothing and continues to pluck glass from the now-stained carpet.
“Ouch,” I mumble as one of the small shards pierces my skin, moving my hand in the air as if that will take the pain away.
“Stop,” Liam commands. “Let me see it.”
“Really, it’s fine. I got it.”
He doesn’t listen and takes my hand in his, looking intently at the cut. Gently he pulls me to my feet and leads me to the bathroom.
“Liam, I can take care of this. You need to get back to the event.”
“Danny, can you just not right now. Please,” he says, lifting my hand and gently holding it in place while he plucks the glass out. The cut was deeper than I thought. Once the glass is removed, he grabs a paper towel and holds it against my hand. His skin against mine, my thoughts go wild. I wonder who helped him when he got out of the hospital after I ran. My blood boils thinking it might have been Nicole. I have no right to be jealous—none—but I am.
“Thank you,” I mumble, looking at my feet.
He says nothing, just continues to hold pressure on my hand, until finally he asks, “Why did you do it
The words escape before I can stop them: “Because what happened to you was my fault.” I wish I could take them back.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” he asks, unintentionally adding more pressure to my hand.
I was going to respond that he knows it was, but before I can the door slams open, and I instantly recognize the women he was with outside the club. She looks shocked to see us together. I move to try and put some distance between Liam and me, but he holds me still.
“Liam, there you are! I’ve been looking for you. I wasn’t expecting to find you here. Everything okay?” she asks, eyeing me with a frown.
Once more, I move to create some distance with the same result.
“Yeah, Melanie. Everything’s fine. Danny cut herself, and I was helping get the glass out.”
“Oh, you poor thing,” she says in a tone that suggests I should go and bleed elsewhere, and we continue to stare at each, the awkwardness between us growing. Liam continues to look at me, causing Melanie’s frown to deepen.
“Liam, I think I’ll live. I’m sure Melanie wants to use the restroom, and you need to get back to the party and I work.”
Still, he seems as if he doesn’t want to release me, and I know he thinks I’m going to run as soon as I’m out of his sight. He isn’t wrong. I could, and I should.
Regretfully, Liam moves aside, and I walk calmly from the bathroom with him at my heels. My hope to escape into the nearby kitchen is dashed when Liam pulls me back and holds me in place with my back against the wall.
“What the hell did you mean? About it being your fault?” he demands.
“Liam, you need to get back to the event,” I try to convince him.
“Danny, right now, I really don’t give a damn about that event. I want an answer.”
“Oh, come on, you know what I mean. If I hadn’t acted like I had that day, you wouldn’t have raced off or been distracted driving and had the accident. I waited until I knew you were going to be okay.”
He lets out a humorless laugh.
“I fucked up your life like I always manage to do. That’s why I don’t get close. You could’ve died, and I can’t t
ake another loss, Liam. I just can’t. Falling in love with you was unexpected. Losing you would have killed me.”
For a moment, there is silence as both of us process my words. “What did you say?’
“Huh?” Did he fall off the horse and lose some hearing after I left? “What?”
“What did you say about falling in love with me?”
“Liam, we can’t.”
“Why not? Why do you get to be the only one to decide what happens next? You ran. You made that choice. Now it’s my choice to say what I want.
“I told you I loved you, and you didn’t say it—fine. I’m not surprised you didn’t say it. I knew it was going to take you some time to process. But my accident wasn’t your fault. A cow jumped out in the road—I swerved to miss it and hit a tree. Nothing to do with you. Then I wake up and Ben tells me you’re gone. Do you have any idea how worried I was about you? No calls. No texts. No carrier pigeons. You fell off the face of the Earth! You freaked out and ran because you didn’t want to face what was happening. But you did fall in love with me and I did have an accident. You were the first person I wanted to see, and you weren’t there. You scared Ben and his family and Megan—they were all worried about you. You ran because you’re scared. You act tough, but when push came to shove, you run.”
Nothing he says is untrue, but it doesn’t make the words hurt less.
I was hoping he was done, but I was wrong.
“You know what you said about how I didn’t know you? I guess you were right.”
With that, he turns and walks away. I open my mouth to yell back, but nothing comes out. There’s nothing I can say. He’s right. I was scared, and I ran. I can blame it on wanting to save them from me, but the truth is I was trying to save myself from them. Years of not letting anyone in was easier, but slowly the people I met in Fairmore started sneaking in, then Liam’s accident reminded me of what it’s like to care about someone and truly not want to lose them. I was selfish, and my words weren’t going to change that.
“Oh, there you are. Can you get me two glasses of wine?” Melanie or whatever the hell her name is says, stepping out of the bathroom.
Reluctantly I say, “Of course,” and retrieve the requested glasses.
❖
Liam
Standing in this room and making small talk wasn’t what I wanted to do right now. I wanted to take a page from Danny’s book and make a run for it. I still can’t believe she’s here. That damn connection was still there! If I could cut it I would in an instant. Why did she still affect me? I should be pissed, and I am, but I still want to comfort her and tell her everything will be okay. What the hell?
Matt was talking about a colleague of his, Chris Monroe, who was looking for a rider for some upcoming races, but for the life of me, I can’t follow what he’s saying. My mind runs in every direction but the one it needs to.
Melanie shows up at my side with two glasses. I’m genuinely excited to see the wine, though I could do without the woman handing me the glass. It wasn’t Danny giving it to me, and that was who I wanted at my side. Damn, Danny.
“Are you interested?”
“I’m sorry. I was distracted for a moment. What were you saying?”
“Chris Monroe. He’s my business partner. He has some horses in a few upcoming races. Do you have any interest? He pays extremely well.”
“I would love the opportunity. Please have him send me the dates for the races and I’ll make it work.”
The rest of the evening is a blur of meeting people, shaking hands, and making small talk. Thankfully I’m able to act my way through the event and come out with some good contacts and opportunities.
Melanie is decently buzzed when we leave. I tell her I’m looking at flights that will leave tonight instead of tomorrow morning and ask if I should book her one, but she decides she wants to stay the night and go out. I have no interest and book the first flight home. I just want to get back.
Chapter Thirty
Danny
It’s been two weeks since I saw Liam again—two weeks of not sleeping and being in a pissy mood. May called me out last night. I told her briefly what was going on, and in true May fashion, she told me to pull up my big-girl panties, listen to the voicemail, and go get my man. I laughed her off, but I think she was right.
Lying in my dark room facing the ceiling at 2 a.m. is when I finally pull the phone off the charger and press play.
“Danny. It’s me. Ben told me you left. I know why you ran, but I want you to come back. I need you to come back.” There’s a drawn-out silence before Liam continues. “I meant it when I said I love you. Please come back.”
I’m sorry, Liam. I love you too.
Options race through my mind. If I go and he tells me to F off, then what am I going to do? But if I don’t go, I’ll never know. Which option is going to hurt me more? Option two. Throwing off my covers, I change and toss my things in my duffel bag, which I think is looking ready for retirement. Before leaving, I enter May’s room.
“May,” I yell in.
“The place better be on fire, Danny.”
I smile even though she can’t see me. “You’re safe—no flames. I decided to take your advice.”
She moves to sit up. “Well, you’re the first one to ever take my advice, so good luck. Which particular advice are you taking?”
I pick my words carefully. “About going home. It’s time to face the music.”
May climbs from the bed.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Throwing on a sweatshirt and taking you to the airport. What else?”
❖
My first stop is Noel’s and breaking down to her. She most certainly gives me a piece of her mind before comforting me, but then she lets me borrow her truck to get to Fairmore, and I decided to stop at Ben’s next. I knock on the door and Bill answers right away. “Took you long enough,” he says, opening the door wider for me to enter.
Jimmy is coming down the stairs and yells, “Danny’s back.” Good thing I wasn’t trying to sneak in.
He runs to hug me.
“Missed you too, kid,” I say, wrapping my arms around him. He’s grown taller since I left.
As Jimmy pulls away, Ben stops halfway down the stairs to look at me.
“Hey,” I say stupidly.
For a moment, he looks as if he’s going to tell me to go jump off a bridge but then he grins. “You owe me. Big time. When you left, who do you think got stuck picking up the slack. It wasn’t Jimmy.”
“Hey,” Jimmy cries out in protest.
“You owe me some heavy lifting and long days.” He’s standing in front of me now and I give him a hug.
“I know. I’m sorry.” I know he knows I’m talking about more than just the extra work.
“You should go see Flame before heading to Liam’s to grovel.”
I nod. “You don’t seem as surprised to see me as I thought?”
“Well, I knew you’d be back. Megan and I had a small bet.”
Leaning back, I hit his arm.
“Ouch,” he says, rubbing it. “It was a small bet. If you’d waited till next week to come back, I would’ve won.”
After a few more minutes of catching up, I go to the barn to face Flame.
“Hey, buddy. You’re looking good. I’ve been keeping up with you on the website. You miss me?” I ask. At least he can’t yell at me. “I’m sorry I left, but I plan on being back for a while and will make it up to you with lots of treats.”
Staying with Flame for fifteen minutes, I know I made the right decision coming back. Even if things with Liam don’t work out, I still made the right choice.
The drive to Liam’s seems to drag. Pulling up to the house, I quickly put the car in park and get out before I lose my nerve. I knock on the door, feeling like I’m either going to be given a life sentence or set free. Breathe—just breathe.
It doesn’t take long for Liam to open the door. I can tell by the surprise on his f
ace that no one’s given him a heads-up I was back.
“Hey, Liam,” I get out before he pulls me into the house and kisses me like his life depends on it.
My mind can’t comprehend that he’s kissing me. My lips take over, and I just move with him, letting him decide what he needs to believe I’m truly here. He breaks away, and I say, “I did have more to say besides ‘hey Liam,’ but you kind of took the words out of my mouth.”
“Oh, don’t think you’re going to get off that easily,” he says.
“You were right about everything: I did run because I was scared. I should never have left the way I did. I’m so sorry. If you give me a second chance, I’ll make it up to you. Please don’t tell me it’s too late for us? I need you in my life. You make me better. You help me see everything differently.”
“Danny, if there’s an issue, we need to talk about it. I get that there’ll be times that you want to run. There are times when I want to run too, but if we’re going to make this work, we need to do it together. Can you do that?”
The weird thing is, I think I can. After all the running, I think I’m finally ready to stop. When I was in Florida, everything felt off. In the past, there was always this excitement about starting over, but when I left Fairmore, it was gone. I loved living with May, but there was something missing. Liam and Megan. Ben and his family. It was the people here that were missing.
“I can do that. I won’t be the easiest person all the time, but I can do that. I’ve missed you.”
He leans forward and kisses me softly. “Can you say it?” he asks against my lips.
Puzzled, I ask, “Say what?” Then it hits me. “I love you, Liam.”
I wait for him to kiss me, ready to memorize this moment; this feeling, even though I know it’ll happen again because I’m back with Liam now and I’m not going anywhere.