by Marie Scully
But that’s not what happens. When I finish speaking, Liam doesn’t whisk me into his arms and tell me everything’s going to be okay. Instead, he stares at me in silence. As if I’d just knocked on his door selling life insurance, and he’s trying to figure out how to get rid of me.
“Liam.” It comes out as a question and plea.
He lets out a heavy breath, looking suddenly exhausted and I realize something has changed somehow in that moment—he’s changed his mind. “I can’t, Danny. Not again. I just… I can’t take every day wondering if something’s going to set you off, and you’re going to run.”
I can’t believe how quickly everything’s turned upside down. “Liam, I’m truly sorry,” I rush out. “I’ll do anything to prove it won’t happen again.” But I know it’s useless. He’s already made up his mind: I can tell from the way he holds himself away, his posture, words, and facial expression that nothing I can say will change his mind.
He moves to close the door, but I push my hand in to hold it open. “Do you remember the night of the charity event when you said you would take your time to gain my trust. Well I’m going to say that to you now. However long it takes, I’m going to prove to you that I’m not going anywhere. I love you, and I know you’re angry, and I don’t blame you, but I know you love me still. I know that because neither of us lets ourselves love often, but when we do, it doesn’t just go away; it’s there for life. I’m going to prove myself to you, Liam—I promise.” I move my hand away and take a step back, holding his gaze as he shuts the door.
Staring at the closed door, I feel cold and heavy. Why couldn’t I have just stayed? “Hey, you want to get a drink and food.”
Turning around, I see that Megan has pulled up at the curb, her window rolled down. Her expression is a cross between happy to see me and wanting to beat me with a baseball bat. Stepping away from Liam’s house, I walk, defeated, to her car.
“Not go well?” she asks.
“No.”
“Yeah, I could have told you that. Liam was a mess when he found out you were gone. I’m not going to sugar-coat it for you. You fucked up. But I give you points for trying to fix it. Liam will come around. It’ll take time though. He let you in when he keeps most people at arm’s length, and you leaving reinforced all his old beliefs and all the old pain from shit that I don’t even know about. But I have a feeling you do.” She pauses. “But you’re not going to be able to fix it standing out here, so let’s regroup and go get some food and drink.”
“You’re a good friend, Megan.”
She laughs. “Yeah, I know. Let’s go. You follow me.”
Getting in my car, I give Liam’s house one last look, hoping that maybe he’ll step out, then Megan honks to get my attention. Time to go.
❖
Lunch with Megan is as if I’d never left. She tells me about her internship in New York and her job offer. Ben hasn’t been told the news. I tell her about May and how Liam and I met again. It was nice to sit with Megan and talk. When I bring up Liam, she reiterates what she said outside his house: That I messed up, and it will take time.
The following weeks bring some normality with Ben’s family and work at the ranch. Thankfully, Ben and everyone else have moved forward, except for the occasional jab. Ben also enjoyed giving me extra work during my first week back.
I try to speak with Liam, but each time, he ignores me. He hardly looks in my direction if we’re in the same room.
Ben tries talking to him and that leads to them not talking for a few days, so I tell Ben after that to stay out of it. I don’t want to get in between their friendship—this was my mess. Sooner or later, Liam will come around. It will just take time until he realizes that I’m honestly not going anywhere. From there, we can start to rebuild our relationship. If he chooses not to, it’ll hurt, but I will stay. This time instead of running from the pain, I will stay.
Liam
Damn her. Why did she have to show back up? I’d been trying to get my head back on straight ever since I got home. I’d called Ben when I landed and told him what had happened. He’d been shocked and asked if she was on the flight too. I’d told him no, and he said that she would be back within the week. I never thought he would be right. Despite those first few overwhelming moments when she turned up at my door, when I thought we could work it out, I’m not going to get entangled with her again. I can’t.
The weeks after Danny’s return were agonizing. Seeing her but not speaking to her is painful—if it’s possible, I miss her more being near her than when I had no idea where she’d gone. It’s hard having her so close but not allowing myself near. She tries to speak with me, and each time I blow her off. But it’s getting harder each time. I need a distraction, and finally, I decide on redoing some things in the house, such as paint and light features. Ben sees me at the hardware store and offers his assistance. We decide on Thursday, early evening. It’ll be nice to just have a day not thinking about Danny.
❖
The paint fumes are getting a bit much, and I open the front door, hoping to get some fresh air. A few minutes later I see Ben and Megan get out of the car. Danny exits the back seat. I could kill Ben. He and Megan were getting paid in pizza and beer and now apparently in torturing me. At no point was Danny mentioned. I didn’t want to see her today, tomorrow, or the next day. Ben and Megan walk towards me without a care in the world, while Danny stands outside for a moment, doubting herself. For a moment, I feel upset that I’m the one that did that. Then I remember her leaving, and I’m mad all over again.
It takes another second before Danny takes the first step towards the house.
“Hey, Liam. How’s it coming?” Ben asks, looking at the half-painted wall. The place is a mess: There’s a tarp on the floor, various paint cans and brushes scattered around, and both unopened and opened light features littering every available space. My arms are covered in paint.
“Not too bad besides the mess. Thanks for coming.”
“Of course,” Megan says. “What do you want us to start with?”
I think for a moment. I could be a dick and send Danny into the kitchen by herself to start the one wall that needs done in there. It’s tempting.
“Ben, you help in this room. Megan and Danny, if you can start on the accent wall in the family room. The paint is the grey one by the wall.”
Once Megan and Danny are in the other room, Ben looks at me and points out not so nicely that sooner or later, I need to talk to Danny. I throw a paintbrush at him and tell him to get to work. I wasn’t in the mood to talk about this with Danny in the other room—or in general. I stay out of his and Megan’s shit; he can stay out of mine.
A couple hours later, Megan appears with my card in hand to go get pizza. I told her we could get it delivered, but she insists on picking it up. I think she wants to escape the fumes.
“I’m going to use the bathroom. I’ll be back,” Ben says, dropping the paintbrush in the metal tray.
Taking a step away, I study the wall—it’s looking much better. I need a break from painting and open one of the light features against the wall not needing paint. Pushing the ladder over, I grab the feature in my hand and start climbing up.
Both my hands move from the top and I use my legs for balance. But then I feel the ladder shift slightly and look down. Danny is standing at the bottom, holding the sides. “What are you doing?” I ask, shocked to see her.
“Making sure you don’t fall,” she says, still holding the ladder tight. “You really shouldn’t be doing this without someone here.”
“You hate ladders,” I can’t help but point out, still shocked she’s standing here.
“Yes, I know that. If you could hurry up, that would be great,” she says as her hands shake the ladder. I think I’d be safer without her help. Watching her tremble but stay standing there sends shock waves through my system.
“You’re really going to stay, aren’t you?” I ask, realizing that if she can do this for me when it’s te
rrifying her then she truly means what she says. If she can face this fear, maybe she really is ready to face others.
“Yes, that’s what I’ve been telling you. Now please get this done and stop talking. You’re going to talk and fall—I just know it,” she gets out, staring at the wall, obviously trying to distract herself from the possibility of me falling on top of her.
“Danny, can you please step aside.”
“No, you need someone to hold the ladder,” she says authoritatively. And I smile.
“Danny, I’m coming down, and I will fall on you if you don’t move.”
That gets her to step away, looking flustered. Standing close to her, I demand, “Say it.”
“I love you, Liam. If there’s an issue, we’ll work it out together.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
I couldn’t take the separation any longer and pull her towards me for a kiss. I feel like a man that hasn’t had water in weeks finally getting a drink. Our hands move against each other, my pulse racing with each touch. Her hands run over my back.
“Hate to interrupt, but that was a quick make-up,” Ben says, returning from the bathroom. Continuing to kiss Danny, I don’t break away, still needing the feel of her in my arms.
“Guys,” Ben says louder, as if we hadn’t heard him.
We break apart and face him.
“Hey. You could have taken longer in the bathroom,” I joke.
“Had I known. Glad you came to your senses and realized you were going to get together and just did it instead of wasting more weeks of our lives on eggshells.” He nods behind us. “Megan’s back. Great timing—I could eat a horse.” He walks towards Megan to help with the food while Danny leans into me.
❖
Danny
After Megan and Ben leave, Liam and I talk about moving forward. Our relationship was nowhere perfect but it never had been—no relationship was perfect, but we both wanted to be together and make it work. Our day to day went back to how it was before I ran: I worked with Ben and Flame; Liam traveled for work, but our free time we devoted to each other and spending time with Ben’s family and Megan. It was a couple of weeks later when Liam asks me to go to South Carolina for an event as his date. I was nervous about the event, but it was important to Liam so I said yes.
Chapter Thirty-One
Danny
I’m adjusting my bracelet when I feel strong arms wrap around me. Liam nuzzles my neck, giving it a light kiss, and I lean into him, enjoying the feel of his embrace. We were going to have to leave for the event any moment, but I know that means leaving Liam’s arms.
“You look stunning. Maybe you should stay in the hotel room because you’ll distract me the whole night,” he whispers in my ear.
“Mmm, is that a fact? I guess that’s too bad since you dragged me all the way here for this. I’m not staying in the hotel room. You’ll just have to manage yourself,” I say, twisting in his arms to face him. His hands move to my lower back, and I lightly run my fingers over his shoulders, making circles.
“I’d much rather stay here with you all night and skip out on this gathering, but unfortunately there’s a few investors I need to speak with, and my father would have my head if I missed this.”
“Is there anyone specific you want me to suck up to on your behalf?” I ask. Liam hadn’t said much about who would be at this event.
“I don’t do much sucking up myself. Either they like me or they don’t. Have you ever been to one of these before?” he asks.
“Hmm, maybe one or two. It’s a long story.” I tug myself away. “A story for another time. Plus, if we don’t leave now, we’re going to be late.”
We go downstairs, signal for a cab, and climb into the back seat. I have to hold my dress up to avoid it getting dirty from the street and my shoes. Thankfully Liam knows the address—I’m just along for the ride.
I was doing fine till we got into the cab. Now my nerves are taking over, and I start fidgeting with my dress. I look out the window and watch the people we pass on the street and try to calm my breathing. It’s been a while since I’ve been to an event like this, but my father’s words come rushing back.
Stand straight, smile, look perfect, act perfect. Say nothing wrong; speak to as many people as possible. Don’t embarrass the family—you’re nothing.
“Danny, what’s wrong?”
I turn towards him and open my eyes. I hadn’t realized that I’d closed them. Liam’s concerned face stares back at me.
“Everything’s good. I didn’t realize how tired I was until we sat down. I’ll perk up when we get there. Let’s pay a game to try to keep us both awake. Did you every play car games growing up?” I suggest, hoping he doesn’t press.
“No, never. Our car trips were always pure business. If we weren’t talking game plan, we were sitting in silence.”
“Well then, let me teach you the greatest car game of all: The license plate game. Each new out-of-state plate you see before the other player is one point. Whoever sees the most wins. Once a state’s been used it can’t be used again. You ready?”
“What’s the prize?” Of course he wants there to be a prize. Mr. Competitive.
Without thinking I respond with, “Bragging rates. There’s Florida. One point. You may want to pay attention as you’re already losing.”
The sound of us going back and forth on plates is almost enough to block out the voices from my past. Almost.
❖
The event space is a rented-out restaurant, richly decorated with fresh flowers and candles sitting on the center of each clothed table. The elegance in the room is almost suffocating. White-gloved servers move effectively through the space, each carrying a different type of appetizer, from prosciutto and figs to oysters.
The room is mostly filled with men in tailed suites, and a few women spread out in long gowns. Each is holding a cocktail or glass of wine. The aroma of food is making me famished.
“It’s a little stuffy in here,” I whisper against Liam’s ear. “I can see why you felt the need to bring me. I’ll be the muscle—don’t you worry.”
He laughs, causing people nearby to turn around and glare. Liam shrugs off the looks and continues further into the room, saying hello to several people as we pass. I smile but don’t say anything. He leans down to whisper, “It gets better in the other room. This room normally has the older, more serious crowd. They’ve been in the business forever and can get a little snippy if the conversation shifts from business. But I’m happy to know that if a fight breaks out, you can defend my honor.”
I nod, forcing my face into a solemn expression, as if I take that job seriously. Liam grins, and his hand moves to rest on my lower back as we start moving again. The closer we get to the back room, the louder the voices become.
“You ready to be ‘on?’” I ask before we get there. The better question was—am I ready?
“Oh yes, I’ve been practicing in the mirror all week,” he jokes before he stops and pulls me to the side with a serious look. “Are you okay? I know you said you were up to this, but we can duck out?”
It was a generous offer, but I know this is an important event for his career, and I can do this. I’ve done it many times. Shake some hands, smile, make conversation. This event would be nothing like the past because Liam is here, and I know if something were to happen, we could leave, and he would understand.
“I got this. But thank you for asking.” I give his arm a light squeeze, signaling that it’s time to face the music and be social. Liam leans forward and brushes his lips against my cheek.
“Liam, it been too long. How’s the old man?” An older gentleman with salt-and-pepper hair and a small mustache cuts through the crowd, making his way towards us.
“Stan! The old man is doing just fine. He would’ve come, but he has his yearly trip to Vegas with friends this weekend. This is Danny, my date for the evening. Don’t scare her off. Danny, this is Stan; he runs an impressive ranch in T
exas. His horse, Dreamcatcher Blue, won the Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe last year.”
“I have to ask, how did you come up with the horse’s name?”
Stan starts telling the story and Liam excuses himself to speak with a group. Every now and then I look up to see him move through the room, stopping to talk to everyone, knowing each person by name. He runs the room. We catch each other’s eye from time to time and he gives me the small smile that I love.
“Forgive me, Danny, but I also see a few people that I need to speak with. You’re more than welcome to join?” Stan says as he leans forward in the chair, placing the phone back in his pocket.
“That’s okay. Thank you for showing me the pictures. I hope I can meet your daughter sometime.”
“You and Liam should visit Texas in the summer. She’ll be back, and I think you two will hit it off.”
We both stand up and push the chairs back to the table, then Stan reaches to shake my hand, saying, “I’ll catch you and Liam before I leave. It was a pleasure to meet you, Danny.”
He pats me on the shoulder as he passes, moving towards several men standing by the bar, and I take a small sip of my wine, trying to look as if I’m doing something besides standing by myself. I look around the room to find Liam, and that’s when I hear a voice I thought I would never hear again. Blood rushes from my brain, and I go pale. Why is Nick here? Our father has no dealings in the racing world. At least he never had in the past. I keep staring straight ahead, hoping he won’t recognize me from behind.
Panic keeps rising every second I stand here. Right now, I can hear him having a conversation by the door. It won’t take long for him to make his way further into the room. I don’t have bad blood with Nick, but he represents everything I ran from—a living, breathing symbol of my past. The past that I’ve still hardly told Liam about. As far as Liam knows, my only brother is dead. How he would react to the truth, I don’t know. I don’t want to reopen these old wounds, but each second I’m in this room with Nick’s voice, I can feel it beginning to happen.