by Sabrina Kade
“You do not care for him.”
“I didn’t say that exactly.”
“What do you say?”
“That it’s complicated.”
“Do you care for him?”
“Sure.”
“How?”
Her face gets a blank expression. “How?” Her eyebrows furrow. “I mean… I like him. But it’s like not like I want to sleep with him or have his kids. He’s okay.”
I frown. “Okay? I can assure you, Phoebe, no male wants to hear his mate say he is ‘okay.’ Have you told Iriel this?”
She blushes. “Of course not! He’d throw a fucking fit!” Her hands clamped over her mouth as though trying to silence herself, but the words have already flown out. After a few tense moments, she lowers her hands, but her gaze is no less intense. “Everyone thinks I’m with Iriel.”
“Even though he is only ‘okay.’”
“Stop it,” she snaps. “Forget I said that. I blurted it out without thinking.”
“How can I forget?” I feel myself growing angrier. It is one thing for her to trust me. It is another for us to be friends. But for her to say these words to me and expect me not to react? Not to long for her?
She backs up against the wall across from my lair, but I am quick to advance until I have her pinned against the wall and only a hand’s length away. Her chest rises and falls, bathed under my shadow, but she does not push away. She stares.
She is afraid, but she will not move.
There is a fire burning underneath my future mate’s fragile build.
“Phoebe, I am your friend. I will watch over you, but you must remember I am still a male.”
She swallows. “What does that mean?”
“I can want things.”
“Things?”
“Like you, Phoebe. I can want things. A particular thing. A particular female. Like you.”
She stares up at me. “You want me?”
I nearly snarl in frustration. “I thought it was already obvious.”
She doesn’t say anything. She’s completely silent. I’m not sure what to make of this reaction, but the more moments pass without words, the more uncomfortable I become. Someone could come down this hall and easily see us. And then, not only would I get in trouble, so would Phoebe, for tempting two males. I do not want this for her. I step backward, annoyed because she is still silent.
“Have you nothing to say?” I hiss in a low voice.
“I don’t know what to say.”
Lies. She is lying to me. There are many words on her mind, but she will not let them escape because she is afraid. She is scared of getting into trouble. She is scared of Iriel. She is scared of Prince Korben. She may be frightened for me. She’s mostly scared for herself. Iriel has her trapped. The longer she remains with him, the more fearful she will become. Each day, I will see her slump down more deeply. She will grow quieter. She will become Iriel’s mate and carry his sprog even if she does not want to for fear of getting in trouble or being sent away. I will have to watch the female I care about become a shell of the female she was when she first arrived on Hethdiss.
She thinks I will allow it to happen because she trusts me. Because I am her friend.
“You expect me to keep quiet. And I assume you will keep quiet about what I have told you,” I say at last. “I suppose this means we will continue our existence in silence. Is that how you want to live? In silence? In secrets?”
“I told you, Drazal.” She lifts her chin, frowning. “I don’t know what to say. I’m with Iriel.”
“You do not care about him.”
“I do care!” she squeaks, breathing hard. “I do care about him. He’s complicated and annoying, but there are glimpses of goodness in him. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
She doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. “Other than me,” I hiss.
“What?”
“You don’t want anyone to get hurt other than me. You tell me things and say I cannot tell others. You say you fought off Iriel because you did not want to Choose him for a mate, and yet you stay with him.” I stiffen, anger rushing through my veins. She is frightened. I understand that. But her fear is going to end up hurting everyone instead of anyone like she hopes. She does not see this. “What is it you want, Phoebe?”
“What do I want?”
“Don’t repeat me. I am asking you a question. What do you want?”
She doesn’t answer. Her silence annoys me, and though I am angry, I still want her. I want her away from Iriel. I want her with me. But I cannot do anything until she realizes what she wants.
Even if she has an answer, she will not tell me on this day.
She has not rejected me officially, and she still clings to Iriel.
I cannot intervene again. I got off easy with my first offense, but Iriel is probably making sure Phoebe is not teasing or tempting me, and I, her. It is a frustrating position to be in because it would only take a few words to clear the clouds fogging Phoebe’s mind.
“You should head back before someone sees you here.” I point my finger down the hall. “If I am seen with you so close to my private lair, we could both get into a lot of trouble.”
Some small part of me hopes she will argue, but she’s already spinning on her heel to head back in the direction she came. My cock that stood almost as half-mast falls completely limp with disappointment. I am not expecting Phoebe to pleasure me on this day, but I thought that by her coming to my private lair that the tides were possibly turning.
Her reaction lets me know that this is not the time.
“You’re probably right,” she mutters over her shoulder. “But I still feel responsible for what happened. And Iriel usually visits the second lair late in the morning. He thinks I’m in the Gathering Room, but if it’s okay with you, I’d like to check on you tomorrow.” Her cheeks blaze with crimson. “To make sure your wounds are all right! Iriel told me Chentan isn’t allowed to check on you. So if he’s not, I figure someone should.”
“It is not a good idea.” I try to keep my voice firm and detached, but my hearts already leaping for joy. She will return.
“I know it’s not. But I’m still doing it.”
I take a step forward, unable to stop myself from wanting to get close to her. She is right there. With another few steps, I could reach out for her trim waist, pull her behind the curtain of my lair and mesh my mouth against hers. I want her so much. I think she wants me.
“I would like that, Phoebe. I look forward to your visit at the next suns rising.”
She says nothing else, storming down the hall and her short, pale hair swishes back and forth with each step. And though she is not heavy like Dolan’s mate, there is still a gentle sway of her hips as she moves. I watch her unabashedly, drinking in her slender form. It takes much effort not to reach for her because my attraction grows stronger with every day.
Her trust in me. Her concern for me. The fact that she did not turn me away completely when I said I wanted her to Choose me as her mate.
I lick my lips once before turning back to my lair and flop down slowly on the bed and stare up at the ceiling. The need to stroke myself off is strong, but if anyone did see me interacting with Phoebe and said nothing, they would most certainly have concerns if they catch me taking my hand to my cock moments after her departure.
She will come to you on the next day; I remind myself: patience, Drazal.
My time with Phoebe is not over.
Not yet.
CHAPTER FOUR
Phoebe
My heart’s still racing when I jog back to the Gathering Room. Drazal was so close earlier that I could feel his heart pounding heavily in his broad chest. I’m sure he could smell that I wanted him. I shouldn’t tempt myself in this way, but I have to make sure he’s all right.
After all, he got beat up because of me.
Iriel retrieves me a few hours later, but my mind is still on Drazal even though I don’t see him.
Iriel and I eat and then return to his lair. He sits on the floor and asks me to tell him about my day and informs me that the females in the second lair are doing well despite small worries about some word I don’t quite understand. My mind drifts with thoughts of Drazal’s body all but pressed up against mine. Drazal’s bare-chested, scaled, sexy body.
He barely touched me, but my body never felt so alive. During make-out sessions with Iriel, I was never so aroused. My thighs grew damp, and my knees trembled. Everything was erotic and incredible at that moment, and I wanted nothing more than to hold on to that feeling. Feeling like this around Drazal may not be safe, but I’m okay with that.
For the first time since seeing the dilewilers, I like that feeling.
The girls and the Sidyths talk loudly outside Iriel’s lair, and though I want to be part of the conversation, Iriel prefers quiet evenings in his room. He doesn’t care about Prince Korben or his baby. He avoids Hujun and Azan unless he needs something from them. He’s not social, at least not since I’ve been hanging out with him, and wonder, is this what my life’s going to be like with him?
Hanging out in his room?
Watching and listening to the world going by from behind a curtain?
I shouldn’t complain.
It’s safe. I’m safe. Iriel’s safe. Safety is everything I want, but it doesn’t feel so great anymore.
“Hey, Phoebe! You in there?” Someone chirps from beyond Iriel’s curtain.
I rise from the bed, striding to the curtain before he grabs my wrist. “Hey, what gives?” I shoot him an annoyed expression. “It’s Layla. I want to talk to her.”
“Ignore it.”
“Ignore it? Maybe the girls are doing something fun.”
“I wish to stay in tonight.”
“We did that last night,” I remind him. “And the one before that.”
“Everything okay in there?” Layla asks. “Can I come in, Iriel? Is Phoebe in there?”
“I’m here!” I call back, trying to yank my wrist free from Iriel’s grip. He pulls me tighter, but I straighten. “Come on in, Layla. We were just talking.”
His eyes widen with surprise, and he immediately releases my hand before Layla waddles in. Goodness, she’s big. Pregnancy has made her rounder than before, and she had a pretty substantial head’s up in the curves department. Still. She’s beautiful. Pregnancy looks fantastic on her, and her face is always rounded with a smile. Is this how we’re supposed to look when we choose a guy as a mate? Because if so, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to get chubby, eat all I want and push a ten-pound sentient being out through my vagina only to have it keep me up all hours of the night.
Drazal would be there for all of it.
“Oh-ho! What have you two been up to?” Layla teases, probably thinking my red cheeks have something to do with the alien seated on the floor.
Honestly, I’m embarrassed for thinking about Drazal while picturing being an all-but-teen-mommy.
Whoa there, Phoebe. Time to think about non-baby stuff.
“Nothing.” I dust myself off though there isn’t a trace of dust on my clothes, and Layla fixes me with an unreadable expression. “Just another quiet night in for us.”
“Aww, bummer,” Layla notes, puffing out her lower lip. “Why don’t you come out tonight? We’re hitting all the latest clubs. The music’s going to be dope, chica.” She pumps her fist into the air several times, and I can’t help laughing.
“There are no clubs around here. Even if there were, I’m underage.”
“Aww, you’re no fun,” Layla says, snapping her fingers. “Fine. No clubs. And no drinking anyway. You know I’ve got the whole—” She pats her round stomach with a snicker. “But some of us were thinking about heading outside tonight. The weather’s nice, and we could watch the stars. Pretend it’s a movie or something. Gripe about men, babies, and an utter lack of McDonald’s to satisfy our cravings.”
I glimpse back at Iriel, who looks as though he doesn’t understand a word that flew from Layla’s mouth. Probably not. Layla talks quickly and even speaking the same language as her, it’s hard to keep up. Still, the idea of getting out of the cave, and spending time with some of the girls sounds nice. Maybe Drazal will be out there too.
“I’ll go,” I squeak. “Sounds like fun.”
“Cool beans,” Layla says, taking my wrist much more gently than Iriel did earlier.
“You’re going now?” Iriel rumbles from behind.
“Well, yeah,” I call over my shoulder, still halting my progress. “Want to come? It’s not an all-girls thing, is it?”
Layla bursts out laughing. “Do any of us strike you as setting up a girls thang?”
I can’t help snickering. The idea of Arizona painting Alaska’s toenails alone is enough to make me cringe.
“But everyone’s going to be doing their own thing,” Layla promises. “It won’t turn into a couples party if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Why would she worry about that?” Iriel asks, rising to his full height. “I am part of a couple with Fee-Bee. She would not be uncomfortable.”
There’s a flicker of a frown on Layla’s full face, and I almost don’t catch it before she continues with her familiar grin. “All I’m saying is there will be no making out in the grass unless you separate from the group. Dolan’s already grumpy about not getting his mack on, but I couldn’t give two poos.” She pulls me toward the lair opening. “I’m stealing your girl, Iriel. Watch out.”
He follows with a huffy expression. “No one is stealing my girl. Ever.”
I shudder at his words. I get the feeling he means more than Layla taking me outside.
A lot more.
Iriel doesn’t hover for the entire trip from his lair to outside, but that’s kind of okay with me. I’m enjoying the space because even though I don’t tell him that I’m thinking about Drazal, I feel that somehow, he knows I have someone else on my mind. I’m drifting away, and yet, he doesn’t know what to do about it. I can still feel his presence though, even when Layla joins a larger group sitting in the turquoise grass, and Dolan helps her settle on her butt.
Sloane’s eyes widen when she lifts her chin and catches my eye. “Wow. Iriel. Phoebe. Wasn’t expecting to see you guys out.”
“I thought it was good to get out of the cave,” I try in a teasing voice, but Iriel merely frowns, crossing his arms over his broad chest. He doesn’t sit, and when I feel Dolan and Exer eyeing me, I shuffle to his side. “We probably won’t stay too long.”
“Stay as long as you like,” Sloane says, waving us off. “It’s nice being out here all together.”
“Can’t keep her locked up in a tower,” Layla mutters, but Sloane purses her lips at her. She looks offended. “Am I wrong? Let’s not play make-believe all the time. We’re all shocked Phoebe’s here. Let alone with Iriel.” She narrows her eyes up at him. “Have you checked to see if Drazal’s all right?”
“Why would I?” Iriel hisses between his teeth.
“Uh, because you got him beat up,” Layla says, frowning deeply. Dolan grips her shoulder but doesn’t silence her. “Six against one, huh? Is that how you aliens do it? Or is it specific aliens?”
Iriel bristles. “He was interfering with the courting of my mate.”
“It’s fine!” I squeak, raising my voice so this doesn’t turn into a full-blown argument. “It’s all fine. I checked on Drazal.”
“You?” Iriel hisses. “Why did you check on him?”
“I thought we established that already,” Layla grumbles.
Iriel hisses once more, and Dolan stands.
“Enough hissing. This is a relaxed setting, Iriel. You will not hiss at my mate simply because you cannot get yours to commit.” He beams triumphantly before sitting down with Layla in the grass and placing a large hand on her rounded belly.
“She was about to Choose me,” Iriel says. “Before Drazal intervened, she was about to.”
“She still has not though, yes?�
�� Dolan asks, smiling.
“Stop it,” Layla says, shoving him slightly, but not actually looking to settle him. If anything, she’s enjoying this.
“She will. Also, we are moving to the second lair, so there are no more distractions.”
My heart stops. “I didn’t know about this.”
“There are too many distractions here.” He narrows his eyes at Layla, Dolan, Exer, and Sloane. “The second lair is more peaceful. Fewer females. Fewer brothers. It will be good for us.”
“Did she agree to this?” Sloane asks.
“Doesn’t sound like it,” Layla says.
“I was going to discuss it with her—”
“Yes,” I interrupt, lowering my voice after Iriel fixes me with an icy glare. “It is something we’re going to have to discuss. But not now. We’re having fun. You do remember what fun is don’t you, Iriel?”
“Doubt it.” Layla rolls her eyes. “Whatever. Do whatever you two want.” She pats the grass. “Take a seat, chica. Sloane and I can tell you what you have to look forward to if you decide to mate with one of these Casanovas. Not mention how to prepare for—”
“Casanovas? What is this word? What does it mean?” Dolan asks.
“Sex stud,” Layla teases him with a gentle jab in his firm stomach. He beams triumphantly as though nothing could please him more in the world, and suddenly, I ache for that feeling. The feeling of belonging. The feeling of girlfriends and family. No longer sitting in Iriel’s cave and regaling each other with tales of our mundane existences.
Being with Iriel is safe, but damn, I’m realizing now that it’s also boring.
Exer slaps his hands together suddenly and rises to his feet. Dolan follows and Iriel eyes them with a wary expression.
“So,” Exer proclaims more loudly than I’ve ever heard him. “I saw some beautiful flowers near Hinda’s territory. I wanted to pick some for my mate, but I thought that others would like to accompany me. Dolan?”
“Will these flowers get my female to spread for me tonight?”
“Babe, you don’t need the flowers,” Layla says, waving him off. “But go. Sounds fun.”
Exer nods and slowly turns to Iriel. He doesn’t appear as confident, and I can’t say I blame him. “What about you, Iriel? Will you come? It won’t take long. The flowers are visually pleasing. Sloane tells me it will provide the lair with an enticing scent. Perhaps, you would like to get some for your mate?”