by Sabrina Kade
I don’t bother correcting him, and of course, Iriel doesn’t either.
But he does glance in my direction. His golden eyes drop to my bare feet and then flicker back up to my eyes before starting over. Then he scans the fields around the lair. As though he’s looking for something. Or someone. But whatever he’s looking for isn’t there because when he turns back to me, his look has softened considerably.
“Is this something you would like?” Curiosity laces his usually stoic tone. “Flowers? To make my lair smell enticing?”
I’m about to laugh and say I don’t care when I notice a familiar shape beyond Iriel’s shoulder. A familiar shape. I turn to Iriel. “Flowers are nice. I like flowers. Lots of flowers.”
“The girl likes her flowers,” Sloane adds.
“Are you sure she likes flowers?” Layla asks. “Because I’m not.”
They snicker, but I don’t take my focus away from Iriel. If he looks over his shoulder, he won’t leave with Dolan and Exer. And I want him to leave. I hate myself for it, but I want Iriel to go away so I can check on the figure lurking in the shadows behind him. I rise on my tiptoes and kiss Iriel’s cool marble-like jaw, trying to fix him with my sexiest hooded eye expression.
“I like flowers,” I say again.
“We figured that part out,” Layla says, ruining my attempt at sexiness.
Iriel looks positively delighted. “Then I shall go. I will gather and pick flowers. The most flowers. All the flowers.”
Layla rolls her eyes, and Sloane elbows her, but the two remain silent long enough for Iriel to leave and jog up to Exer and Dolan’s sides. He doesn’t say anything, but once a few more Sidyths join them, Exer leads them through the thickness of the woods.
I’m left alone with Sloane and Layla.
Not to mention Drazal, who’s hanging by the cave opening and sharing a few words with Glykoran – the older Sidyth who spends a little too much time with Celeste.
“We didn’t see anything,” Sloane says suddenly.
I spin in her direction, confused. “Huh?”
“We didn’t see anything,” Layla repeats for her. “You were sitting next to us, and the next moment, you were gone.”
“You could have gone anywhere,” Sloane notes.
“To track down York and Azan.”
“Back to the Gathering Room.”
“To check on Glykoran… or whoever’s with him.” Sloane winks, and I turn slowly back toward the main lair opening, and sure enough, Drazal’s still there, shifting uncomfortably while looking out into the fields. Our eyes meet, and though he’s hesitant, a smile breaks out on his handsome face. My heart skips a beat. “There’s lots of pretty wildlife here, you know,” Sloane continues.
“Yeah. Even if you don’t feel comfortable going beyond the first triss.”
“There are lots of pretty trees.”
“Tall.”
“They provide lots of shade.”
“They could hide anything,” Layla says, beaming. “I mean if you wanted to do that kind of thing.”
I swallow hard, taking in their words. They know. They must have figured out that I don’t have the same feelings for Iriel as I do for Drazal. They’re trying to help me out. They’re saying all the right words, but their actions let me know that someone is hearing me screaming for help. And knowing that, my eyes water for a moment and I sniff hard.
“Jesus, I’m such a lame-o,” I sputter, swiping at my cheeks. I must look like an idiot and now Drazal’s heading in our direction, and barely anyone’s looking. Anyone interested is either back at the second lair or too busy with their mate. I lift my chin as Drazal’s footsteps draw nearer, wiping away the rest of my embarrassing tears before he notices them.
His face is still swollen. His right eye is half closed, and there’s a nasty starburst bruise on his jaw, but it does nothing to detract from his beauty. I swallow hard. Iriel doesn’t do any of this to me. My heart doesn’t race when he gets close, and I certainly don’t squirm about and start fidgeting with my hair like anyone gives a damn. I take in a sharp, trembling breath as he settles on his haunches a few comfortable feet away from us, and I can’t help staring at the muscles in his thighs and how his stomach still has an eight pack while he’s crouched down.
“How are you feeling?” Layla asks when she realizes I don't dare to speak first. “Your eye looks like shit.”
Drazal frowns. “Shit is excrement, yes?”
She laughs. “Right. Sorry. I mean you look terrible.”
“So much better,” Sloane says, smirking.
If others are watching our interaction, no one’s finding anything fishy so far. It’s a good and bad thing, and even better when neither Hujun nor Ellis approach us. But I can feel them watching. Is he making sure I’m not teasing him? Am I guilty of teasing two males? I don’t mean to. I don’t want to. I’m with Iriel, but Drazal’s the one I feel things for.
“It heals slowly,” Drazal says, his goldilicious eyes slowly drifting in my direction. “The ice helped.”
I blush and lower my head, embarrassed that his deep, baritone voice brings such a strong reaction out of me. “You’re welcome.”
Sloane and Layla snicker, and though they’re whispering, I can’t quite pick up their words.
“Where are the others?” Drazal asks.
“They have gone to pick flowers,” Layla says ceremoniously, though there’s a huge grin on her face. “We were telling Phoebe about the woods. In that direction.” She juts a thumb over her shoulder in the opposite direction all the guys left for. “The shady trees. They can hide almost anything, you know.”
“Is that so?” There’s a trace of humor in Drazal’s deep voice, and I shiver from that alone. “Would any of you like to see the trees?”
“Not me,” Sloane says. “But it will probably look less suspicious if we all go.”
“Right,” Layla adds, standing up and stretching.
I frown at the two pregnant girls, and Drazal appears quite confused as well. Have they been planning this all along? Giving me a chance to interact with Drazal without the fear of him or me getting into trouble? My eyes are growing watery again, and Layla loops her arm through mine.
“Chica, no. We’re supposed to be the ones with hormones running wild, not you. Come on.” She tugs on my arm and the four of us head away from the central part of the field, but no one bats an eye. I can’t help wondering if my lack of attraction to Iriel is something others have noticed. If they have, why aren’t they stopping us now? Is it because Sloane and Layla are with me?
Or something else?
I smile up at Drazal as we get further and further away from the lair opening, but he remains silent. Maybe he’s as nervous as I am. But Layla and Sloane don’t look worried, pregnantly bounding across the grass as though they don’t have a care in the world. If I wasn’t so thankful to them for doing this, I might almost be angry with them for being so happy. They’re not much older than me, and yet, they look so right and natural with their round bellies. Staring, I wonder. Would it be so bad to be pregnant, too? I’d have support. Layla and Sloane. Ellis and York. Blythe. They’ll have all done this already by the time I’d get pregnant. They’re handling it like the bosses they are.
I bet Drazal would make a great father.
Ugh. My not-quite-nineteen brain can barely fathom the idea, but with him, I’m more open to it than I’ve ever been.
We’re on another planet. Our mates are aliens. Does it matter if I’m nineteen or fifty-nine? Probably not.
I smile to myself as Sloane, and Layla slow their steps and glance up through the trees to the moons. The suns and moons are a gentle reminder that this place isn’t Earth. It isn’t home. Despite our pasts, we’re all facing the same uncertainty together.
“Like we said, right?” Sloane says, brandishing her hand. “The trees are thick here.”
“Anyone could get lost.”
“It wouldn’t be a bad thing. Only annoying.”
> The two girls smile like they’re the most Wicked Witches of the West, and I’m still so touched by everything they’ve done.
“You guys are crazy,” I say.
“So are you,” Layla notes. “Or you used to be.”
“The dilewilers,” I start.
“No,” Sloane interrupts. “It’s not only that.”
My lips part to retort, but no words come. What am I supposed to say? Are they right? Am I not happy? What would happen if I admitted that out loud? Sure, they’ve led me to the woods to talk to Drazal, but that doesn’t mean they’ll defend me if I admit I’ve teased two different Sidyths. They want to hold on to their happiness as much as the next girl here, maybe more so because they have mates and children on the way.
“Come on,” Layla urges, shooting a look at Drazal before rounding back to me. “I remember you on the ship. You had spunk. When so many of us were beaten down, you were so excited. It was weird, but it was cool. It made me less terrified.”
“Me too,” Sloane admits. “And with the Todas… you overcame. I don’t know what Arizona said to you, but—”
“I don’t want to talk about that,” I say, making sure to cut her off before Drazal grows curious. The dilewilers were terrible enough; I don’t want him to know about what happened on the first trip to Hethdiss. How Arizona saved me from that Todas. The pounding she took. For me. For no reason. The things the Todas said to me. The promises they made—
Excited, or chipper, or not. I was a coward then, and I’m a coward now.
I swallow hard, and luckily Sloane and Layla pick up on how I don’t want to share any information about what Arizona did and what the Todas did to her in front of me.
“The point is, chica, that you’ve changed. We won’t say the reason why because you know it. I know it. Sloane knows it. Most of us know it. Fuck, even Dolan knows, and he doesn’t pick up on anything most of the time other than when I want to have sex.” She snickers for a moment. “You’re not happy with him, Phoebe.”
“With Iriel,” Sloane fills in, glimpsing up at Drazal. “You’re not happy with Iriel.”
I frown but don’t argue. I can’t argue. Especially if it’s like they said, and they already know. I steal a look at Drazal, and though he’s quiet too, it’s obvious he agrees. Jesus. Everyone knows I’m not happy with Iriel. But why isn’t anything happening? Why am I not being punished? Why—
“You don’t have to be unhappy,” Sloane says. “Trust me; if you can find happiness in this line of work, I would grab on to it.” She smiles softly. “I did grab on to it.”
“Me too,” Layla adds.
Drazal’s not afraid to look directly at me when I glimpse over. His eyes show no hesitation. No questioning. My fears aren’t his. He’s already declared what he wants, and now he’s waiting for me to say what I want, too. One way or the other. If I tell him I’m pleased with Iriel, he’ll leave me alone. But if I tell him I’m unhappy again, well, I have an idea of what’ll happen.
Yes, you do, my heart whispers.
I try to quiet that voice as Drazal draws ever closer and my heart hammers more loudly against my shirt. If he doesn’t hear it, he’s lying to himself. I want to be embarrassed, but how can I control my reaction to him? He’s thick, muscular, and doesn’t look like he could be my dad or a creepy uncle. His face lets me know we’re close to the same age. We’re both young. We’re both still looking to find ourselves. To find happiness.
“So?” Sloane asks in a low voice. “What do you think about Layla and I heading back to the fields? Are you two going to be all right?”
I take in a deep, trembling breath and look closely at Drazal. Is he okay with this? He must be. Otherwise he wouldn’t have come. Is he as nervous as I am? My nerves are going crazy, but Drazal remains a relaxed, pale mountain of muscle and flesh. I slick my tongue across my lips. “I don’t know. Drazal? Do you think we’ll be okay?”
His golden eyes widen. “I will protect you if that is what you’re worried about.”
“Protect her?” Layla starts snickering. “We’re not at the first triss, Drazal. I don’t think you’ll need to protect her from anything.”
“And yet, I am saying that I will. If you are ever worried about something hidden in the talas, I ask that you trust me. I will protect you.”
I will protect you. Drazal’s words surge through my chest and send tingles down to my toes. He’s probably still thinking about what happened with the dilewilers. He wants to make sure I’m not frightened. I flex and stretch my fingers several times as I take in the massive alien before me. I shouldn’t have such a strong physical reaction to him, and yet, I’m fluttery like my stomach’s full of Pop Rocks and Diet Coke.
“I guess we’ll take our leave,” Sloane says right before brushing a pale hand against my bare arm. I jump at the touch, all but picturing it’s the alien beside me doing the touching. “You’ll be okay? We’re not trying to play matchmaker if you’re not into it. It’s just…” she trails off, shooting her attention at Layla, waiting for her to finish.
“We don’t think you’re happy with Iriel,” she says, shrugging. “Are you?”
My lips part, but of course, the words don’t come. Layla and Sloane see enough answer in my eyes that they start shifting away from Drazal and I. I grow more nervous and somehow more aroused with each step. I’m going to be alone.
I’m going to be alone with Drazal.
I’ve never been more excited and nervous for anything in my life.
CHAPTER FIVE
Drazal
The well-rounded one and the bloody-haired one pull away from Phoebe and me at last, satisfied with whatever words she has passed to them. And though I am not physically attracted to either of these females, I realize how lucky Exer and Dolan are to have them. How lucky Phoebe is to have them too. I did not think anyone noticed the anguish on Phoebe’s face when with Iriel, but it turns out that I am not alone.
Well, I suppose I am about to be alone in one way. Alone with Phoebe.
We’re both silent as the two females saunter away, bracing their backs because they are heavily pregnant. It is difficult to imagine Phoebe acting like this. Our ages are similar, and though it is acceptable and encouraged for a female to become pregnant at this time in her life, I do not think this is something Phoebe wants. At least not yet.
Large talas leaves rustle before our surroundings fall silent, and I realize I have not said anything yet to Phoebe since the others moved away.
“I was not observing their bottoms if you are worried,” I say, realizing almost immediately that this is not the most appropriate way to start a conversation.
Her light blue eyes widen. “I wasn’t worried. Besides, if you wanted to, I wouldn’t be offended. I’m not in charge of you. We’re not mates or anything.”
I nod once, wishing this weren’t the case. Need surges through my entire being wanting to claim this female as mine. I would not have to mate her, but I long to kiss her. Would she be upset if Iriel were looking at the bottoms of other females because they are mates? Would Phoebe be a jealous female if she were mine? I smile at the idea.
Phoebe continues to stare up at me as I wonder what to say next. My hearts soar with excitement knowing I am alone with her amongst the talas. Iriel is with Exer and Dolan, picking flowers, and I have time to spend with her. My hands itch to hold her. Touch her pale skin and kiss her full lips, but I will not force myself upon her. She is with Iriel, despite being unhappy with him. I will never force myself on a female. I worry what Prince Korben would do to me. I am worried now. I have already gotten in trouble once for interfering with Iriel’s mate, and here I am again, pushing her to be brave. Brave enough to leave Iriel. Even if it is not for me.
“Want to sit?” she asks, lowering her slender body to the grass. “Not trying to be weird, but it’s making me kind of uncomfortable standing so close. You’re tall. Like really tall.”
A few scales try to splay away from my palms, but the bandages k
eep them close to my skin. I nearly wince from the pain but manage to keep it together because I do not want Phoebe to worry about them.
I follow her lead and settle on the grass, crossing my legs at the ankle and stare at the sky. “I am not tall compared to many of my brothers. I am still young. I believe I have one more period of growth ahead of me before reaching my full height.” I close my eyes. “I wish to be as large as Hujun. Maybe even—” I stop myself short, remembering I cannot name this Sidyth. He is one of the outsiders (Sidyths who did not want to stay by Prince Korben’s side after the exile) and Phoebe would realize immediately that the name isn’t familiar. I bite my tongue. “I have always been jealous of Hujun. He is large and intimidating. A fine male.”
“His face could use a little work.”
My eyes pop open, and I peer at Phoebe, and she blushes.
“Sorry. I mean, yeah. He’s big and muscular and all, but does any of that matter when there isn’t a pretty face to match?”
“I suppose it depends on the female. The little one does not mind his face.”
“No. I guess she doesn’t.” The corner of her mouth crooks up in a hesitant smile, and she looks away. “Some of you look more human than the others. Exer has a face that’s like a normal guy’s back home. And from what I can see of Azan’s? His too. Then some of you are really alien—”
“You are the aliens to us,” I remind her. “Human females are a strange breed.”
An unusual sound flies from her lips. “Strange breed, huh? You make us sound like dogs.” She bites hard on her lower lip, pulling her knees up to her chest as though she longs to ask me something. I will be patient, but my hearts are hammering before she manages to speak again. “So then tell me. Do we all look the same to you?”
I cock my head to the side. “What do you mean?”
“I mean… gosh, it’s hard to explain.” She pushes a pale hand through her near-white hair. “Do you think Korben likes Blythe because of her looks? Or did it happen that he saw her first and that’s who he wanted? Like, back home, humans have this thing called types. Some guys like women who are thin and muscular. Some guys like their women curvy. Some like blue eyes. Some like green. Some like blond hair and some like red.” She shrugs. “I don’t know; I guess I’m trying to figure out if it matters to you guys which of us is pushing out your babies so long as one of us is doing it.”