Duty and Obligation

by Sean Benjamin

  O’Hare abruptly changing the topic of conversation was an old habit, so Rafe was rarely surprised by it, but that remark did achieve a surprise. He was silent for a few seconds and then responded in a matching tone. He knew what it cost her to make that statement. “No need to be sorry. You went through hell in that jail while we were on the outside learning how to be criminals and largely doing nothing to get you out. We should have come sooner, but I couldn’t come up with a plan. You suffered while I waited.”

  “No,” she replied firmly. “You had to wait. You did the only thing possible, and it still could have gone bad a thousand different ways. I was stupid to think you should have been there the next day with a hit team. If you had decided to wing it, we would all be dead now. The right plan has to have the right opportunity and, sometimes, that takes time.” She paused now and then added. “I came to that conclusion and forgave you a long time ago but, for some reason, I couldn’t make myself tell you that. I’m not sure I ever forgave myself for treating you and the others that way.”

  “It’s okay. Nobody held it against you.”

  “I held it against myself. I knew you were right to do the plan the way you did, but I still was determined to hate you for it.”

  “It is understandable, Anastasia. I can’t imagine what it was like. No man can. You had a right to your anger and to your revenge. We should have gotten to that prison long before now.”

  She gave a sigh. “Thank you. Both for the understanding and the revenge. I needed both. For the first time since forever, I feel like a weight has been lifted off me.”

  He responded by tightening his hold on her a second time.

  “I have one more question,” she said in a tired voice. She was slipping away. “What were you thinking when you ran out there?”

  Hawkins knew she was talking of his actions at the jail raid. He smiled at the futility of his own actions. “I wanted to save you.”

  “The only way to save me was to become a target yourself.”

  A pause followed and then he asked, “What’s your point?”

  She replied quickly, “No point. Just an observation.” After a long moment, she spoke softly, “I love you, Zachary.”

  “I love you, Anastasia.”

  She got in the last word of the evening. “Obviously.”

  ~ ~ ~

  They slept through the remainder of the dark night—the best sleep either had had in a long time. When one shifted, the other compensated, so they remained pressed against each other. Nobody woke. Nobody dreamed. Morning came, and they slept on. Finally, Killian shifted away from Hawkins, and he stirred in response to the absence of her warm body against him. He didn’t want her to leave, but he needn’t have worried; she had not departed the bed. She had moved slightly away so she could shift her weight as she made to climb onto him. He was waking up due to her absence. Now her returned presence brought him completely alert. She slid on top of him, and he found himself staring into her eyes, scant millimeters away. She settled herself. Her damaged left arm was next to the right side of his head, the elbow dug into the mattress as a brace just above his shoulder. Her right elbow was doing similar duty on the left side of his head. She laid her cupped right hand on his chin just below his mouth. She placed her chin on the back of that hand. Her body molded to his. Muscle memory.

  As Hawkins adjusted to her weight, he was surprised to realize that sometime during the process, his arms had moved to the small of her back and now his fingers were interlocked there holding her tight to him. He couldn’t recall actually making that move, but he was happy he did.

  “Hello,” he said quietly. Their lips and noses were not quite touching. They could talk in whispers and still be heard. “Comfortable?” he asked.

  “Yes,” she replied, equally as quiet. She sounded much better. He decided to pursue that line of thought so as to avoid more obvious topics.

  “You seem to have improved since last night.”

  She smiled. “Yep, good drugs and the best night’s sleep I’ve gotten in years.”

  “Good sleep for me, too. Must be the company.”

  She nodded slightly and went quiet. She waited. He waited. Both liked the close proximity. There was one clear course of action, and each knew if one of them started the other would gladly join in. Both also knew it would mean something. This would not be a one-time stopover at the good ol’ days to be conveniently forgotten about in a few hours. No, this would be a commitment. This would have lasting effects far beyond this room and long beyond this instant in time.

  Each enjoyed the moment and the mood. They were seventeen again, and all things were possible. They were with each other with no commitments, no schedules, and no promises to be kept to anyone. For this rare tick of reality, they were free from their duties. Maybe they could make this freedom last longer than just this moment—much longer.

  “There are two other people to consider here,” Hawkins said. He did not mention the names of Lawton Barrett and Skyler Mallory. He thought it might break the spell, and he didn’t want to do that. She said nothing as she continued to look at him. He let the thought slip away.

  Silence returned. Neither of them moved. Seconds coalesced into a short eternity. Still neither was in a hurry as they stared into each other’s eyes at point blank range. Each had a slight smile. Hawkins tried again. He had to be certain. “We are at a crossroads. If we go down one road, we can’t come back to the way it is now. I won’t let you go again.”

  “I don’t want to come back to the way it is now,” she replied. “And I don’t want you to let me go.” Her face grew hard. “For once, for goddamn once, why can’t we get what we want? Why can’t we be happy? Why can’t we drop our packs and let someone else lead the way and fight the war? Why can’t we say to hell with it and check out of the universe for a while? Hell, maybe check out forever.”

  Rafe couldn’t argue with that. Not that he wanted to. It was a good deal. Hell, it was a great deal. Spend eternity with Anastasia. There might be guilt or second thoughts. Maybe, it would end badly. It probably would but, maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t. It was a gamble. Possibly long odds. So what? Both of them were gamblers by nature. Right now, Hawkins did not care. He didn’t care about a single damn thing in the universe except this woman. Would he throw it all away for her? Yeah, he would do that. He lifted his head up to cover the few millimeters of distance to her lips.

  “Hello.” The word accompanied the opening of the hospital room door. Doctor Bergeron stepped in and moved toward the couple.

  Both Rafe and Killian looked at him. “Get out!” they said in unison.

  Bergeron shook his head as he stopped beside the bed and looked down at them. “The staff has informed me you two have been in here all night. You’ve had hours to bring this to some sort of conclusion, and you clearly didn’t do that. Not my fault, your fault.” He looked at O’Hare. “You have surgery to attach a lower arm and hand in two hours. We have to prep you.” He looked at Hawkins. “You can do whatever you want as long as you stay out of the way.” He made no move to leave as he calmly waited for them to untangle.

  They looked at each other. “Goddamnit,” they said, in unison one more time.

  She tried to shift off of him. He wouldn’t let her go. He knew he should, and this little show of resistance was all futile, but he couldn’t make his hands unclasp. She pushed twice and then settled back into the original position on him. She smiled down at him. “I like it here too.” Neither moved as they resumed looking at each other.

  Doctor Bergeron reached down and pulled the blankets toward the foot of the bed. He reached in and tapped Hawkins’ locked hands as if that were the magic code to get them to unlock. He looked down at Rafe. “Don’t make me get drugs and start injecting people.”

  Raferty sighed. With a conscious effort, he unlocked his hands. O’Hare must have felt it, but she didn’t move.

  “Now, you randy teenagers,” Bergeron said in a commanding voice.

 
O’Hare glanced up with a dirty look and then rolled off Hawkins. She continued the roll out of bed on the opposite side from Bergeron. The doctor addressed her. “This way.” He went to the door and opened it. As she went through the open door, Doctor Bergeron asked her, “How does your arm feel?

  “It’s starting to ache,” she responded.

  “The drugs are wearing off. That’s good timing for the operation, so there is nothing we can do for that now.”

  O’Hare stopped in the doorway and smiled at him. “I was working on doing something about that myself until you interrupted.”

  Doctor Bergeron smiled in return and shrugged. “You should have worked faster.” As Killian exited the room, Bergeron turned to Rafe still in the bed. He spoke in a sympathetic tone. “Stay here. It will be several hours.” Raferty nodded. The doctor followed O’Hare out and closed the door behind him.

  Hawkins looked around the empty, silent room. O’Hare’s room was a lonely place without her in it. Right now, any place without O’Hare was a lonely place. He was hit by an overwhelming sense of loss. Not only the loss of her being absent right now, but also the loss of an opportunity to change their trajectory.

  ~ ~ ~

  He read. He walked the hospital halls until his leg ached. He tried to eat and couldn’t. Time seeped through his activities, passing with the speed of water eroding a rock. He knew the operation took hours longer than his own as it was much more complicated. Bones had to be grafted together, muscles attached, and skin layered on at the junction of old and new. He thought of the pain she must be enduring now. The pain that indicated success. Patients who had had this type of operation all stated it was like having a limb on fire for hours. He had learned that during his operation, and he knew it was much worse for O’Hare. He wished he could share her burden, but nobody could do that. He waited.

  A couple of lifetimes later, he sat in a chair at the end of the hallway leading to their rooms. A floating table came around the corner with Bergeron beside it, and a female attendant guiding it. Hawkins stood up as the table approached.

  Bergeron spoke as the table closed the gap on the stationary Hawkins. “She was a great patient, and it went very well. I think she will make a complete recovery and have full use of her wrist and hand.”

  Raferty nodded and looked down on her as the table moved by him. She was sedated now and had a calm expression on her face. However, the strain showed. She was pale and haggard. Sweat lurked at her hairline and along the neckline of her pajamas. Her hair glistened with it. Her arms were at her sides. Encasing her new left hand and lower arm was a sonic rejuvenation chamber. Rafe walked next to the platform as it continued to O’Hare’s room. He picked up a towel on the edge of the table and wiped her face and throat.

  “Why aren’t you taking her to recovery?” he asked.

  “She insisted on coming back to you, and she told me she wants you to sleep next to her tonight.” Doctor Bergeron shrugged. “I got tired of arguing with her.”

  Rafe smiled and replied, “Everyone gets tired of arguing with her. How long will she be out?”

  Bergeron looked at his watch. “It’s five now. She will be out at least fourteen hours so tomorrow morning at the earliest. Maybe a few hours beyond that. The longer, the better. The sonic chamber is for the remainder of your stay here. It will knock weeks off the recovery time.”

  The table was guided into her room and the attendant used the air lift to place her in the bed. Bergeron went to one side of the bed, and Raferty moved to the other side as the floating table and attendant departed. Rafe pulled the three blankets up over her as Bergeron adjusted the sonic chamber to rest against her left side.

  “Does she need any drugs on a regular basis?”

  “No. There are pain pills and injections available if there is a need for them, but relaxation and no stressful activity are the best methods for recovery. You should also relax and get some rest too. You can stay here and guard her if you want.”

  Raferty spoke, “I do want. I’ll stay here all night.”

  Bergeron nodded. “If you do conform to her wishes, sleep on her right side, away from the chamber.”

  The Doctor hesitated now. He scanned the room and brought his gaze back to Hawkins. He talked quietly. “I haven’t asked this because we have been focused on other things, but I need to know. How is Rebecca?”

  “She is fine, Doctor. We are all still indebted to you for that work on Bolindale.”

  Bergeron shook his head. “No, you certainly are not. I am embarrassed by my operation on her there. Has she had repair work done?”

  Rafe shook his head. “Nope. She might after we get to some sort of solution in the Badlands and have some free time.” He paused and added. “I know you have always felt bad about that job, but we haven’t. You are the only one who helped us, and you saved her under very difficult circumstances with little medical equipment or assistance. I know she feels the same way, Pierre. Hell, Killian and I came all the way here for your good work. You’re the best.”

  Doctor Bergeron took a deep breath. It was clear this was troubling him, and he was glad to hear the pirate captain’s words. “When Rebecca gets to that point, make sure she comes here. I owe you all for what you’ve done for me.”

  Hawkins shook his head. “We still owe you for that work and for this work here today.”

  Now Bergeron shook his head. “You don’t, and there is no charge, of course.”

  Now it was Hawkins’ turn to shake his head again. “We pay our bills, and we owe for your good work here.”

  “Not going to hear of it,” Doctor Bergeron stated with finality. He smiled and then departed the room.

  Raferty checked the patient. She seemed fine as far as he could tell. He dampened a washcloth and went over her face and neck again. He retrieved his tablet from the table by the bed, took a seat, and began reading aloud. The sun set, and the room darkened, but he read on. After a few hours, a hospital worker brought in a meal and a drink for him. He ate, read for another hour, and then closed his tablet. The room had grown cold, and he was tired. He briefly considered getting the second blanket from his room to wrap around himself. He shook his head. It seemed like a long trip to next door, and he didn’t want to go.

  “To hell with it,” he muttered. He put the tablet in the chair and crawled into bed on her right side. He encased Killian in his arms and listened to the soft cadence of her breathing. Right now, he was very happy to hear that sound. He tightened his hold on her and quickly fell asleep. He didn’t dream.

  Chapter 24

  A nurse woke the two of them in the morning for an examination of their wounds. The rejuvenation chamber was opened and O’Hare’s wound was scanned. Raferty’s leg bandages were cut off, the wound scanned, and then new bandages were applied. Minutes later, Doctor Bergeron came into the room with the results of the scans. All was progressing very well. He asked several questions about how they felt and if they needed anything. They felt fine and needed nothing. Bergeron departed to see other patients. Hawkins settled in the chair as O’Hare laid on her back in the bed. She turned her head and smiled at him.

  “How is the pain really?” he asked. He knew she wouldn’t tell the medical people the truth about how she felt.

  “It hurts, but it is almost like it is putting up a last-gasp fight. I’ve got some movement in all the fingers and thumb. I really feel like I’m going to come through this just fine.” She smiled at him. “You heard Doc Bergeron tell me a couple of days’ rest would do me wonders, and I have to stay in the clinic here for observation. Are you staying?”

  Hawkins smiled back at her. “Oh hell, yeah. Wouldn’t miss it for the universe. Doctor Bergeron told Nemesis to come back in a week. That was almost three days ago, so we got four days to ourselves. Should be plenty of time for some R&R for us.”

  “Seems reasonable,” O’Hare agreed. They continued to smile at each other. Both knew the other night was unfinished business, and now they had four days to work
it all out, one way or another.

  The door suddenly opened. Doctor Bergeron burst in and stared at both of them with a look of urgency on his face. He spoke rapidly. “Just got off the comm with Cathy Putinsky. Somebody talked—most likely one of my staff although I don’t know for sure. Word has spread among the police and security forces that you are here. Cathy can’t shut it off so is forced to take action. She is dragging out the paperwork for a search warrant, but will be coming at two o’clock this afternoon to search this facility.” He paused as he looked at both their faces with regret in his eyes. “I am so sorry.”

  Both pirates immediately switched to survival mode and planned their departure. They talked out loud to include Bergeron in their discussion. O’Hare looked at Hawkins. “Be tough to hide out on the planet. We don’t know who talked so that individual might just find out about our next hideout and talk again.”

  Hawkins nodded. “Agreed. If we are caught after Cathy’s search here, there will be some blowback on her for sure. There are some who think she is too young for her job, and also think that since she is not a native of Potenka, she shouldn’t have the job to begin with. She has enemies, and those people will start going after her damn quick if it suits their purposes. We can’t let her get smacked after helping us here.”

  O’Hare nodded in agreement. She looked at the doctor. “Can we shortcut my treatment? What would it take to get us on the road well before two o’clock?”

  Bergeron thought for a moment and then responded. “You can’t take the sonic chamber with you. It would be a dead giveaway that you had just gotten limb attachment, and there is no way to camouflage it. I can put your arm in a cast from near your elbow to your fingertips. A shirt would hide most of it, and we can match the cast with your skin tone so it would be invisible at a glance. Of course, the healing process increases by ten or eleven weeks but it can’t be helped.” He looked at both of them. “I have drugs to deaden the stress and pain on your bodies while you travel. You should be able to move normally so as not to attract attention.”