Burning Heart: White Lilies

by Mandy Adler

  The little guy hadn’t said a word. Lily thought he was in shock, she knew the feeling all too well. He was too young to be able to go through something so horrific and be able to understand what was happening.

  We lost nine in total. Nine members of my pack that will never be around again. Nine senseless deaths. We came across ten of theirs, I don’t understand how they could so carelessly throw away the lives of so many. This had to stop, I will not keep losing members of my pack… of my family.

  After the service, I walked Lily and our new little room-mate back to our rooms. She was silent, lost in thought I suppose. I watched with soft eyes as she tucked the little guy in and kissed his forehead before cracking the door and sitting on our bed.

  “He has no surviving family.” I start gently. “As the Alpha pair, it’s our job to determine the best family for him to go to.” She looked up through tears. “I think the best person to raise him is you.” She started to protest but I held up a hand. “You know what he will be going through, you know how best to help him. If anyone can take care of that little boy… it’s you.”

  “I don’t know how to be a mother.” Her voice was soft, the silly girl. “I’m too young, he’s needs someone smarter… older.”

  “You have had him in your arms since the fight. You haven’t let him go. You can do this, I know you can.” I sat beside her and put my arms around her as she leaned into my chest. “We always knew we would have pups, this is just a little sooner. You will make a great mom Lily. I know it and so does everyone else. He’s young, he will be okay. But only with the right person helping him grow up. That’s you. You have already proven that you can do this. You placed those children’s lives first today, you protected them and comforted them.” She would make a wonderful mom, I knew it… she just needed to know it to. “The pack loves having pups around they will all help raise him. He won’t have any shortage in love, that’s for sure.”

  Chapter Nine

  Lily

  He was right. There was always a slew of pack members ready to take care of him. He was always being played with, read to, fed, or anything he could want. There really wasn’t much for me to do… night time was hard. That was when he missed his parents the most, that was when I held him until he fell asleep. It was amazing to watch. When my mom died I didn’t have anyone, Seth has an entire pack helping him through this. Which was awesome because we continued everyone’s training a week later. Between training, Seth, and planning to take down the Mages… Zach and I were exhausted.

  Leo had told us he was knocked out from behind, he had no idea how it happened or where Sue was, something else to worry about. I had told Zach about taking the fire’s power and we agreed it was a huge development. We could win this, but we had to be smart about it, we couldn’t — wouldn’t keep losing members of our pack family.

  I took over teaching Sue’s group since she disappeared. They were all greatly improving, I had two of them sparring and you could see their wolves growing stronger. I corrected their kicks and punches, gave advice when they needed it, but they were doing it… they were becoming warriors. And I was finally becoming one of them, I no longer felt like the outsider looking in. They… they were family, every one of them. I still missed my parents, I think I always will, but I no longer felt alone in all this. I looked over to see Zach with his group, he was taking our loses harder than anyone. He felt that he had failed his pack in protecting them.

  The plan was to be spilt into two groups, one guarding the pack and the other going to bring down the mages; once and for all. We were waiting until we were at our strongest though. Zach and I were leading the attack group and Thomas was leading the guard group, we weren’t losing anyone else if we could prevent it. The children and a few adults were being moved to a safer location for the battle. So tonight, we were having another bonfire, one where everyone can relax and have a little fun, they needed a lift in their spirits since we lost so many.

  “Do you ever wonder what life would be like if we hadn’t met the wolves?” Abby asked as we were preparing food.

  I laughed. “Well, I am one, so I imagine I would be scared and alone. I wouldn’t know what the heck was going on with me. You forget, the mages are after me. So, I guess I would probably be captured or dead by now.”

  “Yeah, and I would be alone. Working in some dump or another. I just meant all this is crazy! A war between one supernatural group and another. What do they want with you?” Abby asked, though I don’t think she was really asking me, she knew I didn’t have a clue what they wanted.

  “So, what’s with you and James?” I asked her, Zach and I were talking about them just last night. The two seemed to be growing closer.

  “Nothing.” I shot her a look and she laughed. “I like him, he’s really sweet, but I’m not ready to be with anyone. I spent my whole life on my own, I don’t know that I could depend on someone else. And you know the wolves, they think they have to take care of what’s theirs.”

  I gave her a shrug. “They’re protective. You just have to lay out some ground rules and be willing to compromise. But whatever you decide, you’re pack now. That means you’ll never be alone again, but I think you should give him a shot. Zach says a mating between witches and wolves had always been a thing in the past, maybe it’s time you two brought it back.”

  “I didn’t say anything about mating! Jeeze Lil, mating is for life. I don’t know if I can sign up for that just yet.” We both laugh, but I worry about her. A girl like Abby shouldn’t be alone, she deserves someone that will be her partner. Someone that will stand by her side, always. I can’t imagine growing up with no family, no one to tell you that they love you. She deserves to be loved, everyone does.

  “Okay well, any time you need to talk you know I’m here.” I tell her, she gives me a wink but doesn’t reply. But I secretly hope they give it a shot, I like them both, and they are both wonderful people who deserve happiness.

  The party was in full swing and I was laughing at some of the younger wolves who were goofing off. This was what everyone needed, a chance to blow off some steam. Seth was with Abby, she was making leaves dance all around him, making him giggle up a storm. He still hasn’t spoken, but he laughs a little more every day. James was standing next to me, watching her. He was trying to be discreet about it, but was failing miserably. I moved to sit on the logs near the fire, it still made me nervous to be so close to it, but I was better at handling the fear. James moved to follow me and I sighed. Zach was being even more overprotective than normal lately. I have already been told to stay in the center of the party, not to wonder to the outskirts. Meanwhile, Zach was nowhere to be seen.

  “You can go talk to her. I’m sure all these shifters can keep me safe.” I tell him. “I mean, I am sitting in the center of the entire pack.”

  “Alpha’s orders.” He replied to me with a wry smile. “I’m not to leave your side until he gets here.”

  “Where’s Kyle?” Kyle was my normal guard, it’s weird he’s not here right now. He took his job very seriously.

  “Training with your mate.” I rolled my eyes, of course. Zach was probably driving him into the ground. He was so busy making sure everyone was ready for the fight I hardly saw him anymore. I know he was working to keep everyone safe, but this was getting ridiculous.

  “Then you will have to go with me, because I am about to drag my mate to this bonfire, he needs to be here to. He needs to relax and unwind for a while.”

  He laughed and slung an arm around my shoulders. “Good luck with that Lilybug, but I will go with you.”

  Zach

  I know I was running Kyle too hard, but if he was to keep Lily safe I had to make sure he was fully prepared. He was too slow on his turns, and his kicks are pitiful. All I could see in my mind lately was her being taken away from me, I can’t-won’t let that happen. I still didn’t know why they wanted her, and that bugged me… a lot.

  I ducked down as Kyle took a swing at my head. I sighed. “Don
’t always go for the upper body, take any shot. You’re a shifter, they are not. Anywhere you hit is going to hurt, they don’t heal like we do, or have our strength. Stop thinking of them as the same as one of our kind. Hit hard and take any shot.”

  “Alpha. We’ve been at this for hours, I’m growing tired.” He replied in puffs.

  “Do you think the mages will wait until you’re rested and ready for them? No. If you want to remain Lily’s guard you have to be prepared.” I knocked his feet out from underneath him and he crashed to the ground. “They could show up at any time, it won’t matter if you’re ready for them. They won’t wait for you to get prepared, you must always be that way. No more excuses, you’re a guard - act like it.”

  “And I think that’s enough for one night.” I knew she was there before she spoke, but I had to get my point across.

  I turn and see her standing with both hands on her slender hips, James beside her with a ‘what was I supposed to do?’ expression. “Il mio bel fiore, why aren’t you out enjoying the party?”

  “I missed my mate. James, Kyle, please leave us for a minute.” They looked at me and I gave them a nod to go ahead. She walked over and stood in front of me. “I miss you. Come to the party with me.” I started to protest but she placed a finger over my lips. “I know. I know all the excuses you are going to sprout off about keeping me safe. But I just lost my dad, we inherited a little boy, things are crazy right now. And I need you.”

  It was then I realized how alone she must have been feeling. I’ve been putting all my energy into keeping her safe, and leaving her alone in the meanwhile. “I’m sorry Lil.” I pull her to my chest and felt her relief, making me feel like the worst mate ever. “I just can’t lose you.”

  “You won’t. We have an entire pack in this together, but you have to lay off a little. You are running Kyle into the ground and he’s trying his best to prove himself to you.” She pulled my face inches in front of hers. “He is my guard, yes. But please don’t lose sight that you are my mate. He does his job, I am never alone. But lately I don’t feel like I have my mate with me, come back to me.”

  “You’re right.” I sigh. She was, while I was busy making sure everyone did their jobs I failed in mine. I was her mate, I was to protect her in every way. Even to make sure she felt loved and wanted. “I’m sorry love.” I kissed her slowly, her melting in my arms. I will do better, I will learn to handle both Alpha duties and Mate ones.

  I kept my promise, I let her drag me back to the party. I apologized to Kyle and gave him the night off, James to. I would watch over my mate tonight.

  I laughed as I watched her dance to the music with little Seth in her arms. His thumb was in his mouth but he was grinning. I don’t know how things came to this. Not that long ago I had just run into this scared little wolf who knew nothing of this life. Now here she was fitting in better than any of us would have thought. The pack loved her, and she loved them.

  “You seem a bit stressed Z.” James stood beside me, watching everyone have the fun they so desperately needed.

  “I’m terrified of losing her James.” I ran a hand through my hair as I watched her laugh and dance. “I’m not used to the feeling. I always worried about the pack, but this is different… it consumes me.” There was nothing I could compare it to. “It’s all I can think about lately. I don’t know how not to obsess about it. I know it’s hurting her, I can feel it through the bond.”

  James let out a long sigh, my normally funny natured friend suddenly serious. “I think it’ll just take time. You two are still newly mated. And I think that’s a part of being true-mates; she will always come first, just like you will always come first for her. Just take it as it goes brother, trust that your pack can help you keep her safe, keep us all safe.” He clapped his hands, putting a grin back on his face. “Now. Go enjoy this party! Go dance with your mate and new ward, show the pack that their alpha can have fun to, that everything will be okay in the long run.”

  “Thanks James.” I should have known he would have something wise to say. For all his joking and fooling around, the man was smart. And he loved this pack, his family. If anyone knew how I felt it would be him.

  Lily

  “Can I have this dance?” I turn and smiled at my mate. Like I would ever refuse.

  “And I will take the little man. I believe Abby wanted to show him a new magic trick.” James winked at me as he took little Seth from my arms.

  Zach’s eyes were soft as he pulled me to his chest and we began swaying softly to the music. “I’m sorry for not being here lately.” He whispered.

  “It’s okay, you’re here now.” I whispered back, glad to just be back in his arms again.

  “I’ll do better. I’m here now, and I won’t forget my priorities again.” He spun me around, making me laugh. “I’m still learning how to manage everything and in the meantime, I seemed to have forgotten that I have a beautiful mate to help me.”

  “That’s right.” I laugh. “I’m the Alpha female, let me help you. You’re not the only one struggling lately. In all this…” I waved my hand around, gesturing to the mass around us. “I have forgotten who I am lately. We will figure out all this together, neither of us is alone is this, we have great friends and family willing to take their fair share of this. And I have decided to get back to some of the things I love most and start swimming more. We can’t let this fight with the mages define us, we are who we determine we are. It’s up to us to keep sight of that.”

  He laughed when he saw I had my boots on, I hadn’t worn them since I first showed up in this town, and I had always loved them. They reminded me where I came from, who I am without all this chaos.

  “I always loved those damn boots.” He whispered, making me laugh once again. “And I love watching you swim, watching you when you’re in your element. We just never knew it was actually your element.” I laid my head on his chest, feeling his contentment in this moment. And I knew, I knew everything was going to be okay. I don’t know how I knew that, but I knew as long as we were together everything would turn out the way things were always supposed to. I wouldn’t let him lose sight of that either.

  The night went perfect; we danced with everyone, relaxed with our friends, and spent the night knowing this is the way it should always be. Abby led Seth around the dance floor while James looked on; I don’t know what is going on with those two, but my bet is that end up as mates sooner rather than later. They were perfect for each other. The way he watched her when she wasn’t looking was the same way I caught Zach looking at me.

  We retired to our rooms late into the night, tucked Seth into his bed, and spent the rest of the night talking about the future we wanted with each other. Hopefully when this mess is over with we can be the pack Zach knows we can be. After talking for what seemed like hours we finally fell into a peaceful sleep.

  “I think we should run as a pack tonight, it’s been too long since we last did that.” Zach was telling me as we got ready for another day.

  “I think that sounds like an excellent idea Mate.” I laugh. Trying to put shorts on a two-year-old was proving to be a challenge.

  He laughed before helping me wrangle the squirming child to get him dressed. “The kids are moving to the safe location tonight while we run, this is the last night before we take on the mages and I want to make sure the children are safe before everyone runs tonight. I’m sending Thomas and a few other strong wolves with them. I need to know if anything happens to me that they still have an Alpha.” He cut me a look and I knew what was coming. “I don’t suppose you would let me talk you into going with them?”

  I laughed. “Not a chance wolf-man. You know this is my fight just as much as it is yours.” Seth jumped up and ran out of the room in search of breakfast, making us both laugh at his eagerness. I turn and looked at the man I loved without reason. His eyes burned. “I know you want me safe, but I want you safe to. We stick together, you and I.”

  “I know. Just… just stay at m
y side at all times, tonight and tomorrow. It’s a full moon tomorrow so we will be at our strongest, just don’t take any chances.” He grabbed my face in his hands kissing me like there was no tomorrow. “You hold my heart Il mio bel fiore, remember that. If anything happens to you, I will be lost.”

  “Same for you. Be careful, I can’t lose you either.” And I couldn’t, I didn’t know what I would do if I lost him, I couldn’t survive another death. I was ready for this to end and begin our lives together.

  “If we end this thing tomorrow, we are getting married. Soon. So, pick a date love. I don’t want to wait much longer, it’s been too long as it is.” I laughed at the urgency in his voice. I was just as ready to be tied to him in every way as much as he was.

  Everyone was somber at breakfast. Families were sitting together, saying their goodbyes, just in case. Seth was sitting with the other children, none of them knew exactly what was going on; thank god. Abby, James, Zach, and I were sitting at the head table. Abby was flexing her hands like she needed to release her magic, her and James kept quickly glancing at each other.

  “Enough of this sad crap.” Abby finally busted out. “We are not dying today, I won’t allow it. I just finally found a place I feel like I belong, and I will not lose anyone now.”

  “Well said Abby.” Zach laughed.

  “We will kick butt. I will magic anyone who crosses us, and you wolves will rip them to shreds. I don’t know why everyone is so worried, we will wipe the floor with those mages.” Her short spikes were starting to grow out, leaving her looking softer somehow. But her eyes were fierce. “I cloaked the place we are hiding the kids, so no one will find them. Just make sure you tell Thomas to be careful on the way there, I can’t cloak the whole route.”

  “Already done. Thomas is taking ten wolves to help protect the kids. They should be leaving shortly before the run tonight. He says he’s got this, that the kids will be safe with him. Everyone is ready, they are ready for this to be over with. No one wants a repeat of what our parents went through. We end this tomorrow night, once and for all. Then we can all start our lives, without the fear we’ve had since we were children ourselves.”