The Last Goddess

by C.E. Stalbaum

  ***

   

  Selaste studied the cards in Rynne’s hand. It hadn’t taken long to memorize the different symbols; the entire deck had only fifteen, all repeated three times in varying patterns. The second step had been figuring out the patterns themselves and which ones were most coveted, and that had only taken a few more rounds to get the gist of.

  What surprised her the most was how little difference any of it seemed to make in the end. Rynne had won most of her hands with inferior arrangements, and Selaste guessed it was probably the same for the two men across the table. This game was as much about deception and body language as the actual cards, it seemed, and she had to admit it was fascinating.

  “We can deal you in anytime you want,” Rynne repeated for the third time since they started. “I’m sure Rook will spot you some coins to get started.”

  “How about half his pile?” Van said with an annoyed grunt. “At least give us a chance to win some of it back.”

  Rynne smiled wickedly. “I’m not sure what ‘us’ you’re talking about. I haven’t lost anything.”

  “Fine, let me win my drakes back.” Van sighed and shot a glance to the other man. “You know I told you before I was done gambling with you.”

  Rook shrugged fractionally. His face hadn’t so much as twitched for the entire game, but now a roguish grin threatened to crack his carefully-crafted façade. “Yet here you are again, broke and bitter.”

  “Yeah, well, not for long,” the big man muttered, tossing in the last few silver coins he had sitting in front of him. “All in.”

  “You really are the worst bluffer I’ve ever seen,” Rynne commented, flattening her cards face-down on the table. Selaste noted the other woman didn’t seem to have any worthwhile symbol combinations.

  Van leaned back in his chair. “You’re telling me you wish I was a better liar?”

  “You could at least challenge me from time to time. Anyway, I’m out. Nate?”

  “I’m reminded of a game of Lejarin in the officer’s mess about eight years ago,” Rook mused. “Shall I regale our new friends with the story?”

  “Assuming this is the one where Van gets frustrated and punches out the general’s firstborn son, then I’ve heard it about fifty times,” Rynne told him. “And I love it each and every time.”

  Van shook his head. “I hate both of you, in case there was any confusion.” His eyes flicked to Rook. “You in or out?”

  “I’ll take pity on a friend,” Rook said. “I’m in. Let’s see it.”

  “An Empress Run,” Van declared proudly, laying his cards flat on the table. “Your pity is gladly accepted.”

  Rook’s smile widened. “You’d think that. Sadly…” he laid out his own cards. “Four princes. I can start crediting you next month’s pay, if you want.”

  “Abalor’s…something!” Van hissed. “How in the void do you always do that?”

  “Divine providence,” Rook said. “Also, Rynne was right. You really are terrible at this game.”

  Rynne fell forward giggling on the table, and Rook broke into an uncharacteristic chuckle. Van glared icily at both of them before swatting his cards away.

  “Fine. Find someone else to torment. Maybe you can ask the altar boy over there.”

  Selaste followed his gesture to Tiel. The young monk was sitting alone on the opposite side of the sleepy tavern reading over the scriptures and making notes to himself on a separate sheet of paper.

  “No need to be a baby about it,” Rynne told him. “If you work my next show I’ll pay you back the difference.”

  Van grunted. “I’m going to bed. No point in stopping here if we can’t get a real night’s sleep.”

  “That’s really not a bad idea,” Rook agreed, taking another sip from his drink. “I’ll be up in a few minutes.”

  “You know, I bet once the monks fix your memory, you’ll end up putting us all to shame,” Rynne said.

  “I doubt that,” Selaste replied softly. “None of this seems even remotely familiar.”

  They sat in silence for a few moments before Rook caught Tiel’s eye and beckoned him over. “Find anything interesting?”

  “Plenty,” the monk said. “Nothing immediately pertinent, though. It’s all very…vague. I guess I never really noticed that before.”

  “Prophecies aren’t useful if they’re too specific,” Rook said with a smile. “Too easy to disprove. Anyway, I’m heading up.”

  “Make sure Van’s feelings aren’t hurt,” Rynne smirked.

  Ten minutes later they had all packed up and gone upstairs. At Rook’s request, they grouped together for relative safety. The men had a room across the hall, and the women had their own. Selaste’s first impression was that it was incredibly spartan, but she wasn’t sure what she was basing that on. A fleeing memory? Past experiences? Had she stayed in places like this often?

  The doubt was infuriating, and she placed a hand against the wall and sighed.

  “You all right?” Rynne asked, dropping her traveling pack on the floor and shutting the door. Her crossbow and bandoleer were already propped up against the wall with her sword.

  “Just…frustrated,” Selaste replied softly. “One moment I almost feel like I can remember something, and then in the next it’s gone.”

  “Did you remember anything while out there in the forest? Rook seemed like he wasn’t mentioning something earlier.”

  Selaste lowered her eyes. “I lost consciousness again. I only regained it after he…touched me.”

  Rynne’s eyebrows both popped up. “What do you mean?”

  “I can’t explain it any better than that, but all three times I’ve passed out, it has been his touch that revived me. We both agreed it made no sense and has to be coincidence.”

  “Maybe. I certainly can’t think of anything. Rook’s not a mage and never has been.” She flopped down on the bed and smiled. “Kind of romantic, though. Like those stories where the slumbering princess gets woken by a kiss.”

  “It wasn’t a kiss,” Selaste corrected, “and I’m not a princess.”

  Rynne tossed up her hands. “It’s just…cute, I guess.”

  Selaste shook her head and paced away. “It’s annoying is what it is. For a moment I actually thought I could remember something. It all started coming into focus…and then it was gone again, like sand slipping through my fingers.”

  “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t be joking about it,” Rynne said soberly, leaning up on the edge of the bed and crossing her legs. “I can’t even begin to imagine how frustrating it must be.”

  “It could be worse. You’ve all been more helpful than you have any business being. I should be thankful.”

  “We’ll figure it out. And if we can’t, you’re more than welcome to stick around.”

   “And do what?” she asked with a grunt.

  “I’m sure you’d make a better bodyguard than Van. Friendlier, too.”

  Selaste thumbed idly at a wall decoration before turning around. “So it’s been a few days since you found me. Do you still believe I’m the Kirshal?”

  The other woman’s cool demeanor cracked, if only for a second. “I don’t know. I did at first.”

  “Then you actually met me.”

  “I wouldn’t put it like that,” Rynne said. “I’m just…there are a lot of questions. You’ve certainly pulled off some things I’ve never seen before or even thought possible.”

  “It doesn’t feel right,” Selaste murmured. “Shouldn’t a Messiah know what she is? Shouldn’t she be able to, I don’t know, transcend all this nonsense.”

  “I don’t have any answers. As much as I would love to see the Restoration and this great new age of the gods, I think I’d still be happy just being your friend.”

  Selaste smiled faintly. “That’s very kind. I’m not sure I’ve done anything to deserve it.”

  “Well Rook is my friend, and you saved his life a few times,” Rynne pointed out. “Besides, I’m good a
t reading people. I like your energy.”

  Selaste sat down in the nearest chair and slowly slid off her boots. It felt surprisingly good to let her feet air out. If they woke up early enough, they could probably catch a bath before leaving too, and that would feel even better.

  “It’s pretty obvious what Tiel and Van think about it,” she continued softly. “Rook…I’m not sure about him. He’s a complicated man.”

  “He likes people to think that,” Rynne said. “But he’s just a man in the end, so how complicated can he really be?”

  Selaste’s smile widened. “Fair enough.”

  “Anyway, he’ll see it through to the end either way, and so will the rest of us.”

  Of all the things she had been worrying about, abandonment wasn’t even in the top ten. She had spoken truthfully before—she really couldn’t imagine being surrounded by better people, given the circumstances. They had taken great risks to protect her and now even more to escort her hundreds of miles from their home, all on the chance that she might fulfill some far-fetched legend that most of them didn’t even believe in.

  “Well, I’m going to pass out,” Rynne said after a few moments. “I can sleep through lights and noise and about anything, so if you want to stay up, feel free.”

  “No, I should get some rest, too,” Selaste whispered. She undressed and slid into the large bed a few minutes later.

  Even after she extinguished the wall lantern and felt Rynne drift into a comfortable sleep, she laid there silently staring up at the ceiling. The thought of passing out and not waking up was just as terrifying as it had been the last night, and she knew it would probably keep her awake for hours. What if this time she couldn’t be roused? What if this time she woke up and remembered everything—and she was a completely different person?

  The questions looped through her head over and over, even after she finally succumbed to fatigue and drifted off to sleep.