Defensive Instructor - Debra Parmley

by Brotherhood Protectors

  The women all nodded and said yes.

  “Any questions?”

  No one had any questions.

  They started the exercise. When it was Chyna’s turn to be the one waiting for the handshake or the grab, she watched close, trying to judge who was safe and who wasn’t. Feeling like she hadn’t passed the first drill, she was afraid she’d fail this one too. She did her best but guessed right only two out of eight tries.

  I’ve got to get better at this, she thought.

  Barrett, noting her expression fall, said, “You did well today, for a first attempt. The more you practice, the better you’ll get.”

  “I hope so.”

  “You will,” he said. “We’ll be working today’s exercises into next week, then Monday I’ll add a new topic.”

  “When do I get to punch somebody?” Red asked. “You know, real world stuff.”

  His face and tone grew stern. “Situational awareness is real world stuff. SA has saved my life and my men’s lives.”

  “Who are you mad at, Red? Is there someone you want to hit?” Tamara asked.

  “He ain’t here, and I want to do more than hit him,” Red said. “What about the gun range? When do we get to shoot?”

  “Beginning shooter lessons will be in the third week. First, you’ll need to learn how to keep someone from taking your gun. Too often, handguns are used against their owners, and that’s the last thing you’d want to have happen. Just think, if someone can get this knife away from you,” he said, “what they’d do if it was a gun. A weapon is no good to you if he takes it away. We won’t add guns until week three.”

  Chyna made a crinkled expression as she winced. “I don’t know about shooting a gun. I don’t think I’m up for that.”

  “Have you ever been around guns or anyone who knew how to shoot?” Barrett asked.

  She shook her head. “My ex and his cousins. They all hunt. But at the cabin, they drink and shoot guns. They’re so loud. I always go into the cabin when they do that because it’s scary. I’m kind of afraid of guns.”

  “I can get you over that fear. By the end of the week, you’ll be shooting as well as any other beginner.”

  “I just don’t know about that.” She shook her head. “I’m not ready.”

  Leah had come to watch the last exercise and had been sitting quietly as she watched. Now she spoke up. “We can talk about that in session. Ladies, when we have late morning group sessions, we can discuss any issues relating to anything in the class or that arises during. I’ll always come in for the last ten minutes of class for anyone who might need me.”

  “Thank you,” Chyna said.

  “Afraid we’ll lose our shit?” Red put her hands on her hips. “We’re not the crazy ones. Most of us didn’t start a thing. Why don’t our exes have to go through therapy? The judge could make them.”

  “Enforced therapy is often ineffective because the patient doesn’t want to change,” Leah said. “There’s little anyone can do to make an adult change if they don’t want to.”

  “My ex could make any woman change,” Red said. “If she don’t, she’s likely to wind up dead.”

  “Ladies, our time is up,” Barrett said, drawing their attention again. “Your new assignment is to find where the exits are and mark where the doors are as soon as you walk into a building. Again, this would be helpful in case of a fire, as well as escaping a predator. That exercise and remembering the numbers on a building are both your homework all this week.”

  “Is everyone ready for Saturday?” Leah asked. “You’ll have one more day to train and learn, so if you have any questions about what you’ve learned so far or thoughts about Saturday, bring them tomorrow.”

  Barrett’s cell phone rang. “I have to take this. I’ll see you same time tomorrow.”

  “Thank you,” Chyna said, and he nodded at her before stepping around the corner for privacy.

  She was very thankful for this class. She wasn’t like Red, thinking she was a badass bitch. If fact, she didn’t want to kick anyone’s ass. She’d never hit a person. Ever. Growing up without brothers or sisters, there was no one to fight with, so she’d never learned to fight until the night Phineas had put her in the hospital. She needed this class, and so far, nothing had been hard enough to make her want to stop. In fact, the PT at the beginning of class had taken her out of her head and made her just concentrate on the exercises and counting so she couldn’t overthink things. That was real good, as she’d had a tendency to overthink everything since meeting him.

  He was, to put it in Red’s words, a ‘master mind fucker’ who’d put Chyna into a bad headspace with thought patterns that needed to be broken. Though she hadn’t done all that well at the exercises today, the PT or the other training exercises, like Barrett said, she’d done okay for being brand new to it all. She had a feeling she was going to be sore tomorrow from PT though.

  Barrett came back in and grabbed his water bottle and backpack. “You’re welcome,” he said to Chyna, letting her know he’d heard her. “Try not to be discouraged. You’ll be surprised at your progress in thirty days.” He winked at her.

  “I hope so,” she said.

  “You will,” he reassured her, waved and went out the door.

  Saturday arrived, and the women crowded into two vehicles to take them all into town for their shopping excursion. It went well. Leah and Barrett were there to make sure it did, and the women got to shop and practice their homework.

  Now the women would be allowed to leave the property and run errands or explore. Each had to memorize the number of the shelter, and Cecelia quizzed them on it, making sure they knew it.

  The second week, the guys brought in training bags and set them up along with boxing gloves. Today, the women were going to learn kickboxing moves, for conditioning and so they could add another skill in their self-defense skill bag.

  Chyna eyed the equipment and winced. Oh, I don’t think I’ll do so well with this, she thought. My wrists. She glanced down at her small wrists, which had never been strong. In fact, if anyone grabbed her wrist, she’d freeze.

  Barrett, noticing her expression said, “Questions? Chyna, what do you think?”

  “I think I’m not strong enough to box,” she said. "That’s for strong men or women who have muscles. I’m not strong like that. I’m small boned.”

  “You’re stronger than you think. Don’t give up on it. Give it a try, and let’s see how you do.”

  “I can’t give up.” She shook her head. “When I leave here, I have to be ready to defend myself when Phineas or his cousins or anyone from his family comes looking for me.”

  “Phineas is your ex?”

  She nodded. “Yes, but he goes by the name of Finn usually."

  “You said when, not if,” Barrett said. “What makes you so sure they’ll come looking?”

  “It’s not something I can explain. I just know him, and I know his family. None of them is happy about me walking around, able to share family secrets. They’re real big on keeping those family secrets locked up.”

  “I’ll prepare you the best I can for any kind of attacker, ones who know you and ones who don’t.”

  “I know things I can’t tell anyone, ever. Two of his cousins have been in prison, and his brother boasted he knew how to dispose of a body. I know they do some pretty bad things when they’re off supposedly hunting, but I have no real proof and didn’t see them do anything.”

  She was sharing again, and he wasn’t supposed to get close to her or any of the other students. He could only be a concerned instructor.

  Don’t get drawn in, he told himself. Keep your focus.

  After they did PT to warm up, Barrett started the class. First he had them put on the boxing gloves, and then he demonstrated the moves they’d be doing.

  Right jab. Left jab. Right hook. Left hook.

  That was the pattern he was teaching them first. They’d add kicks later. He wanted them to get the upper body movements down, and he’d
learn which of the women had a hard time hitting someone. These were just boxing bags, not people, so it should get them used to hitting.

  He was pleased to see none of them had problems hitting the bags. In fact, some of them were really getting into it. Working out their frustrations.

  “Yeah,” Red said. “Now we’re talking. He comes at me again, I’m gonna bam the side of his head. Knock his ass out.”

  “I know that’s right,” Neecy said.

  They gave each other a high-five. Even Chyna seemed pleased to learn she could hit something. Though she didn’t hit hard or know how to drive through yet, it was a starting point, and he was glad to see it.

  Now they could move on to punching each other. Taking the pads the ones playing bad guys would wear; he had them line up in pairs and showed them what to do next. The same one, two, right hook they’d done before, now without gloves, became the base of the palm to the chest in a one, two, then elbow to the left side of the bad guy's head, then a knee up into the groin.

  “Begin,” he said, then moved about the room, watching and making corrections if they showed bad form. He watched the other women in turn before coming back to where Red and Chyna were practicing the moves.

  “Come on, Chyna. You ain’t gonna break,” Red said. “I’m gonna start calling you broken Chyna. Get mad, girl. Hey, broken Chyna,” she jeered. “Let me have it.”

  Chyna punched with her right fist and barely moved Red.

  Red countered with a punch.

  Flinching and ducking, China backed away a step instead of moving forward.

  “You’re the slow mo backwards girl, and he’s gonna Speedy Gonzalez pound on your ass,” Red said.

  “Again,” Barrett said loud enough behind them to cut Red off. “Go again, and Chyna, try to move forward this time, not back. And you need your head to be like a turtle, down with shoulders up to protect, instead of ducking. Notice how when you’re ducking, you’re off balance, and how when you’re down, your opponent is up over you. These aren’t good defensive positions to be in.”

  She nodded, trying to take it all in while her body was wired for flight. Freeze, hide or flight, that’s what her body wanted her to do. She had to retrain it. She had to work hard to absorb Barrett’s words when her body was still on the edge of running.

  Listen, she told herself. Listen.

  He was watching her closely. “You okay?”

  She nodded.

  “Okay.” He turned back to Red and then said, “Again.”

  They tried again and again until Chyna was frustrated with herself and tired of the exercise, and just when she’d thought she’d never, ever move through it, she took a tiny step forward.

  “That’s it,” Barrett called. “Do that again.”

  It felt totally different. Off, but nothing bad happened from that tiny step.

  “Again,” he said.

  The second time, she didn’t hesitate to take a step forward, and the step was bigger.

  “Yes,” Barrett said. “That’s it.”

  Elation filled her. “I did it!”

  “You did,” he said.

  “Kick my ass next time,” Red said with a grin.

  “I just might.” Chyna grinned.

  That grin felt larger than her face.

  “Again,” Barrett said.

  The women went through the moves again, and this time it was Red’s turn to defend against an attacker. Red, unlike Chyna, had no trouble moving in and hitting with force and speed. He watched as Chyna had trouble holding the pad, the way Red pounded on it, driving Chyna backwards.

  “Ha. Broke ya,” Red said. “He would’ve smashed ya by -”

  Barrett had been watching them closely, seeing Chyna’s reaction to Red’s aggression. Her body posture had gotten smaller the more she moved back. Time to stop that.

  “Again,” Barrett said, quickly interrupting Red before she could say more. “Chyna’s turn.”

  Chyna looked at him in surprise. “Again,” he told her.

  She looked back at Red. Putting her right foot back, her hands up and ducking her head, Chyna moved. Making all the hits just right, and though not strong and through like they needed to be, her form was right.

  “That’s it,” he said. “Perfect. You’ve got this.”

  “Yes!” She turned and pumped her fist in the air. “I did it!” Her grin was from ear to ear.

  Barrett knew this was a turning point for Chyna. Though he, himself, didn’t flinch or duck and had only learned to duck while boxing, he understood enough about training the brain to move from one mode of reaction to another, to know what a big step forward this was for her. These auto reflexes were instinctual, and they were working with more than thought processes here; they were working with gut reactions and the flood of adrenalin that took over the body when faced with a threat. It was a matter of redirection and retraining.

  What most people didn’t realize was that freezing, ducking and hiding were responses the brain and body did to stay alive in a threatening situation. When it worked, once or more than once, what was learned was, those reactions had kept the person alive. Leah had explained that moving from that instinctive pattern, which was now automatic and proven to work, to move to another untried reaction was asking the person to risk that it might not work when there was already a pattern that had. This made it a big hurdle to get over.

  Chyna’s small step had been a reach to bring her up and over that hurdle, and it was the complete opposite of what her body had told her to do. Enough reaches, and that would become the new proven pattern.

  Once a student learned instinctively to fight instead of freeze, hide or run, everything would change. Confidence, combined with different escape or fight moves, and the opponent would no longer have the advantage of time on their side while the victim tried to move over that hurdle to come back at him.

  This was monumental, and he could see it in her grin.

  That beautiful, glorious grin. I’m proud of you. He wanted to shout those words. He wanted to raise her up in the air and kiss her. This was huge.

  He’d like to see more of that grin. It was time to end on a high note so she could hold on to that feeling and what she’d accomplished this morning.

  “That’s it for today,” Barrett told the class. “Good job, everyone. Now that you have the form down, next time we’ll work on driving through and flanking your opponent.”

  Chyna turned her grin to him again, and he grinned back.

  “We’ve got five more minutes,” Red said. “We could do it right now.”

  He wanted Chyna to have at least an evening to process what she’d learned before he added more. She needed this success to sink in and then to build on that. Red would push too far, and half the class would end up discouraged.

  “Let’s go over a few things and talk about what you’ve learned today.”

  The class settled down onto chairs to listen.

  “We’re training to move forward, why?” he asked them.

  Red didn’t wait to raise her hand and blurted out, “So we can kick their ass!”

  Everyone laughed except Barrett, who simply watched. “We’ll get to that part,” he said.

  “You always say that,” Red said.

  “Point one. Red, step up here with me, and we’ll do a demo.”

  “All right. Just don’t knock me on my ass,” she said.

  “I’m not going to do that. Just slow motion movements to demonstrate a point.”

  She got up and moved toward him. He held up a hand for her to stop when she was an arm's length away. She stopped.

  “Now notice if I grab for her, here.” He reached to grab her and missed. “I can’t. Learn to gauge distances and be aware of anyone this close. Now, one step forward,” he told Red.

  “Okay.” She stepped.

  He reached and grabbed her arm. She didn’t flinch, but she did try to pull away right away. He released her. “Notice at this distance, it’s easy to grab her arm or an
ything else.”

  Everyone nodded.

  “I want you to practice just moving around each other and take turns trying to grab the other, so you get an idea of how close is too close for safety.”

  One of the things Leah had pointed out to him was that some of the women had damaged boundaries. They had no idea of when to yell to someone to stop, and that was one of the other hurdles to get them over. In many cases, speaking up had brought repercussions. When he’d worked on getting them to yell stop to an approaching threat, the majority of the women simply could not get the word out.

  “So at this range, I can't grab her,” he said. “Now, at this range,” he moved in real close to her but didn’t touch her, “try to hit me, using your boxing punches.”

  She tried, but he was too close for her fisted punches to hit him. He could tell that irked her. This woman did need to spend some time on a firing range or more time kickboxing. He’d see about arranging that.

  “Now try to grab me.”

  She wasn’t able to, being in so close.

  “This is why when you hit, you drive in, move forward and try to flank your opponent.” He moved back and then demonstrated in slow motion. When he was done, he turned and faced them. “So, you’re going to have to work against your initial instinct to move back, because they might grab you and instead you’ll move forward and in so they can’t, and once you’re on their flank, your next goal is to get away.” He stepped back. “Thank you, Red. That’s enough for today.”

  Red sat down, quiet for a change. So he was teaching the mouthy redhead something she didn’t already know. She was taking it all in.

  Chyna had sat watching, wide-eyed, and she was very still and quiet now.

  He wondered what she was thinking.

  This training had turned into therapy just as much as it was self-defense. It hadn’t occurred to Barrett when he signed on for this job that it would be anything but self-defense. But as Leah said, learning moves would do nothing if the women couldn’t implement them in a real life scenario of threat. They worked together as a team to help the women over their hurdles, and he was seeing quick results because Leah was right there with them after class. The whole class would have breakfast with Leah, and then they’d have counseling sessions after they ate. It really was a remarkable program, and he was damn proud to be a part of it. He couldn’t wait to graduate his first class.