Tess moaned again as she felt him swirl his tongue around the tender bud of her clit. The way he was tasting her was sending shivers and shocks all though her body. She could feel her nipples getting hard and a wire of pleasure was beginning to tighten in her lower belly. The attention he was paying her pussy seemed to make her wetter and wetter—the more he licked her, the more her juices overflowed.
Garron seemed to love it.
“That’s right, lin’del,” he murmured hoarsely, licking her again. “Give up your cunt honey, spread your pussy and let me taste it right from the source.”
“Yes…” Tess whispered as he tilted her pelvis up and traced a path with his tongue down to her quivering entrance. “Yes, all right…God, yes.” Her muscles were tight with anticipation and yet she felt so supple in his hands…so right. It was almost as if she flowed to him as naturally as water running downhill. Her whole body seemed to yearn for him…to trust him…to want to give him whatever he wanted.
Garron seemed to feel her need…her trust in the way she moved beneath his hands and mouth.
“That’s right, relax…” His eyes captured hers with an intensity that made her heart pound and he stroked her thighs gently. “Relax and let me make you come, lin’del…come so hard against my tongue.”
“I…I’ll try,” Tess whispered and then he was bending his mouth to her once more, intent on penetrating her, on owning her completely.
There was no way to keep her hands from fisting in his hair as he plunged his tongue deep in her pussy. No way to stop the breathless moans that broke from her lips as he pressed against her, burying his face between her legs to get his tongue as deeply into her as he could, to taste her to the core.
“Ah…ah!” Tess found her hips were bucking up to meet his thrusts and then she felt something else—the broad pad of his thumb had somehow come to rest between her pussy lips, right beside her sensitive clit.
As he tonguefucked her, Garron slid his thumb around her clit, circling the little button, swollen with need, while his tongue thrust deeper and deeper inside her, as though he was reaching for her very soul.
“Oh…Oh, please!” Tess gasped and arched up to meet him, pulling his hair, scratching his broad shoulders, losing herself completely as the pleasure of his mouth on her pussy finally crested. Deep in her lower belly the wire that had been winding tighter and tighter finally snapped. She cried out, her hips thrusting helplessly as bright sparks danced in her vision. Her toes curled and every muscle in her body seemed to tense at once as the orgasm washed over her, taking her to a peak higher than any she’d ever been to before.
“Garron!” she heard herself calling as her back arched. “Oh…oh, God, Garron!”
He rode out her orgasm, his arms wrapped around her thighs, his tongue pressing even deeper into her well, lapping away her juices eagerly as she came…came so hard she saw stars. Only when her tremors and moans subsided did he finally lift his head.
“Tess,” he growled softly and licked his lips. “Gods, your honey is sweet.”
“Show me.” She held out her arms for him, wanting him above her, on top of her. Wanting to feel the weight of his big body covering hers, holding her.
Garron came to her at once. He took her mouth in a hungry kiss and Tess moaned in pleasure at the taste of her own secret juices on his lips. God, he felt good against her! She could feel the hot steel of his cock branding her belly, making her wish he was lower…deeper.
Then at least part of her wish was granted. He shifted and the thick shaft slipped between her wet, open pussy lips, coming to settle against the throbbing button of her clit.
Tess couldn’t help herself—she had never wanted anyone more than she wanted him at that moment. Wrapping her legs around his trim waist, she pulled him down, grinding against him shamelessly, letting him know exactly how much she wanted him.
“Gods…” His low groan was pained. “Tess, we shouldn’t…it’s not safe. I want you too damn much…”
“I want you, too. Now.” Reaching between them, she captured his long, velvety hot shaft in her hand. Daring to act on the impulse, she fitted the broad, plum shaped head of his cock to her entrance and pushed up with her hips.
They both groaned as he sank halfway into her, his thick cock stretching her to the limit. Tess thought she had never felt so full and he was only halfway into her. What would it feel like when he finally touched bottom inside her?
She was eager to find out…but it was not to be.
With a low, frustrated moan, Garron suddenly pulled completely out of her and rolled over. He sat up on the side of the bed and buried his face in his hands.
“Garron? Honey?” Tess sat up beside him and put a hand on his broad, bare shoulder.
“Don’t!” He twitched away from her.
Tess drew away, hurt.
“I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry.” He turned his head to look at her and she thought she had never seen such a pain-filled expression.
“Garron?” she whispered.
“We can’t,” he whispered. “I’m sorry, lin’del. Please try to understand. I want to—I want you more than any female I’ve ever been with. But I can’t…can’t risk it.”
“I understand,” Tess said in a low voice.
“I don’t think you do. The dr’gin is so close right now…” He put a hand to his broad chest, as though he could push the thing down, keep it inside himself purely by the force of will.
“Was it…what we were doing, was it making it worse?”
“Yes.” Garron sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s the strong emotions bringing it up. The way I want you, the way I need you, the way I lo…” He cleared his throat and looked away. “The way I care for you. It’s too much. Too close. We can’t take the risk, Tess. We just can’t.”
“You’re right. We can’t.” She couldn’t help the wave of disappointment that rushed through her but she tried to mask it. Had he really been about to say that he loved her? And did she feel the same for him?
Doesn’t matter if you do, whispered a nasty little voice in her head. He’s going to be emotionless starting tomorrow. What does it matter if you fall for him and he falls for you if he can’t remember how he feels once he gets the implant put in?
It was a very true, if a rather depressing thought.
Garron started to get up.
“Hey…” She put a hand on his wrist. “Where are you going?”
“I should go. I’m not fit for you to be around right now. Not safe to be around.”
“I’m not afraid of you,” Tess said softly.
“You should be,” he said darkly. “You would be if you’d ever seen a dr’gin in the flesh.”
“I’d still know it was you.” She stroked his arm. “Look, we don’t have to make love. Just hold me. This is…” She cleared her throat. “This is the last night you’ll want to, probably. So please, if you can stand it…”
“If I can stand it?” He gave a harsh, jagged laugh. “It’s all I want. Just to be close to you.”
“Then come on.” She scooted up to the head of the bed and rolled on her side. “Spoon me.”
“Spoon? What does that mean?”
“I’ll show you. Come on.” She got him into position and sighed as the massive warm wall of his chest came flush with her back. For such a big, muscular guy he made an amazingly good pillow. She snuggled back against him, trying to ignore the way his still semi-hard shaft was pressing against her ass. “This is nice. I’m going to miss this.”
“Just because I’ll lose my emotions doesn’t mean I will abandon my promises to you,” Garron said softly. “Your safety will still be my first priority. And I will avenge you—I swear that to you, Tess.”
Suddenly her eyes were burning and she had to swallow back tears.
“Look, I know you only have good intentions, talking like that, but it’s making me feel worse. Could you just…just hold me tonight? Would that be all
right?”
“More than all right,” he murmured and she felt the soft brush of his lips in her hair as he kissed her. “I just wish I could offer you more than tonight.”
“I wish you could, too,” Tess said and then the tears came and there was no way to stop them.
Garron held her tighter and buried her face in her hair.
“Gods,” he whispered fiercely. “I’ve never hated what I am more than I do right now. Tess, if there was any other way…”
“But there’s not.” She turned over and pressed her face to his chest. “There’s not. So stop talking about it and just hold me.”
“All right.” He stroked her back gently.
Tess pressed against him and cried herself to sleep in his arms, knowing she would never be held in them again.
Chapter Thirty
“So you’ve decided to get the emo-damper, so you have, so you have?” Yipper looked at him hopefully.
“Yes,” Garron said heavily. “It seems I have no choice.”
Tess said nothing.
They were standing in Yipper’s Enhancement Area, a large, white room on the third floor of the medical barge filled with racks and rows of all kinds of bio-mechanical equipment. Garron saw robotic extremities—from small things like fingers, hands and feet all the way up to entire arms and legs. There were many different ocular mounts, artificial acoustic ear enhancements, even nasal plugs that he supposed greatly increased the sense of smell.
Not that he needed any help in that area—he could smell everything. The metallic scent of the robotic parts, the sterile cleanliness of the room, Yipper’s aroma, a bit like an old rug that had been stepped on with muddy boots.
But more than anything else he smelled Tess—smelled her sorrow and disappointment which hung in the air around him like the aroma of dying flowers. Though she was keeping her face carefully blank this morning, that scent said everything to Garron. It said she felt like he was leaving her, abandoning anything that was or could ever be between them.
Which is exactly what I’m doing. But what the seven hells else can I do? Better to lose her forever than let the dr’gin out to devour her! I can’t risk it—I can’t!
Even now he could feel the dr’gin trying to force its way out of him. He was holding it in check—just barely. But he had the same feeling you get when you’re sick or drunk and know you’re going to throw up. You know it’s going to happen eventually—it’s just a question of when.
Garron already knew the answer. His name day was tomorrow. If he didn’t get the implant today—right now—by tomorrow he would be a murderer. And the person he would most likely kill was the one he had sworn never to hurt. The one he loved.
Because he did love her—so damn much. So much it hurt—burned inside him like a fire that refused to be quenched. Stupid, he told himself angrily. Stupid to let yourself love her, to let yourself feel so much so quickly. You haven’t even known her that long.
But he’d known her long enough. Long enough to know she was the female he wanted to spend his life with. Not that any of that mattered now. Once he was rendered an emotionless robot like the Dark Kindred, nothing would ever matter again.
“Very good, very good,” Yipper said, rubbing his long, hairy fingers together. “Let me see—I was working on the implant last night. Strengthening it just for you…”
“Is it that hard to implant in a grown male?” Garron asked, frowning.
“It’s tricky, yes it is, yes it is.” Yipper nodded. “Mostly because you weren’t grown in an incubation tube, like most of the Enhanced are.”
“But I thought you said the male you implanted successfully with an emotion damper wasn’t grown in a tube?” Garron said.
“He wasn’t. His family died of scarlet plague—yes they did, yes they did. He came to us as an adolescent. At first One, the first emissary of the Collective, simply tolerated him—allowed him to live as best he could scavenging on the barges. But then he went and asked to become one of the Enhanced. He had the necessary DNA and the Kindred background so One allowed him to try an implant—with the understanding that if it failed, he would die, yes he would, yes he would.”
“Die? Will this implant kill Garron if it fails?” Tess demanded, speaking up for the first time. “Because that’s not acceptable! Even if he can’t feel, he has to be safe!”
“I am speaking of Six, not Garron,” Yipper said gently. “A failed implant would mean Six’s death because emotions are forbidden on the planet’s surface where the Collective rules supreme. If he was caught exhibiting signs of feelings he would be summarily executed. Still, it was a risk he was willing to take.”
“I don’t understand,” Garron said, frowning. “Why is having emotions a crime on Zeaga Four?” He asked the question not just because he was curious—he had sworn to Sylvan that he would try to get some background on the strange inhabitants of the mechanized planet. He ought to honor his word. Right—that’s the only reason you’re asking. Not just to put off the implant a little while longer, whispered a cynical little voice in his brain. Garron pushed it aside. “Well?” he asked Yipper.
The Tolleg frowned and scratched one of his long, floppy ears.
“Well, it has to do with the history of Zeaga Four, yes it does, yes it does. You see, it didn’t used to be ruled by the Collective—”
“What is the Collective?” Tess asked, coming to stand beside Garron. She slipped her hand into his as though they were just making casual conversation.
I think I’m not the only one who wants to put this off, Garron thought, entwining her small, soft fingers with his. Just holding her hand made his heart thump painfully but he forced himself to ignore it and concentrate on what Yipper was saying.
“The Collective is the ruling body of mechanoids—they control all aspects of life on Zeaga Four,” the little Tolleg explained. “But they have not always held power. Many centuries ago, the life forms that lived on the surface looked very like the two of you—tall, bipedal, mostly hairless…” He made a face as though this was distasteful. “Anyway, they went to war—the whole planet fighting among themselves, yes they did, yes they did. The lot of them were nearly wiped out. Only the rise of the Collective saved them from going completely extinct.”
“So…the machines took over?” Tess asked, frowning.
“For the good of the planet.” Yipper nodded earnestly. “Yes they did, yes they did. And they determined that the root cause of the problem was the emotions—all the feelings the inhabitants had all the time. So they gave them a choice—eradication of all emotion or extermination.”
“And they chose to lose their emotions rather than die,” Garron said, nodding. “I see.”
“But I thought you said the inhabitants were grown in tubes?” Tess said.
“They are grown in incubation tubes now, of course. Yes they are, yes they are.” Yipper nodded vigorously. “I was speaking of the beginning of the Collective—centuries ago. Back in the beginning, after the eradication of emotion, sexual procreation decreased until the organic inhabitants of Zeaga Four were in danger of dying out. In fact, the females of the species did die out. That is one reason the Kindred were allowed to merge with the society on the surface—they offered fresh DNA and they were willing to give up all emotion, as the Collective demanded.”
“But why?” Tess asked. “I don’t understand why anyone with a choice would choose that.” She didn’t look at Garron as she spoke but he knew she was thinking of him.
“Why, because there were no females to call at that time. No there weren’t, no there weren’t,” Yipper said. “It had been years since a new trade partner had been found and their existing sources for brides had reached saturation levels. So a branch of the Kindred broke off and came here, to Zeaga Four. They declared that if they could not call brides, they wanted to rid themselves of all desire and emotion. So they wouldn’t miss what they could not have, don’t you know, don’t you know?”
“I guess that makes sense.�
� Garron sighed. “If you can never have the female you crave, I supposed it’s better not to crave her.”
“It’s still pretty hard on the female, though,” Tess snapped.
“Tess…” He squeezed her fingers and she shook her head.
“Never mind, I’m sorry.” Her eyelashes fluttered rapidly, as though she was trying to blink back tears. “So how did the Kindred get rid of their emotions if it’s so hard to implant a grown male?”
“This was centuries ago—the Collective had different technology. In fact, the unit I customized for Garron has been modified using the notes from those first emotion dampers, back when the Kindred first joined the Collective and became Enhanced. I’ve worked quite hard on it, yes I have, yes I have.” He looked proud.
“I’m sure you’ve done an excellent job,” Garron said shortly. “But…” He searched his mind, trying to think of another question—anything to put off the implant. Anything to feel just a little longer for the female at his side.
Tess came to his rescue.
“So the reason you’re performing this, uh, procedure up here instead of down on the surface of Zeaga Four is because no one who has emotions is allowed down there?”
“Well, there are special dispensations that are occasionally handed out—for visiting dignitaries and the like, yes there are, yes there are,” Yipper explained. “But yes, in general the Collective prefers to keep the surface an emotion-free environment. They even have a whole subclass of mechanoids devoted to making sure no feel-crime is committed—the sniffers.”
“Feel-crime? Seriously?” Tess looked skeptical.
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