First and Always: The Forever Duet

by Brooke, Rebecca

  “Then I guess you better come inside.”

  She stepped into the apartment, stopping just inside the door. Heat burned through me as I stalked her step for step. A sexy smirk played across her lips when I kicked the door shut, moving directly in front of her and sinking my fingers into her hair.

  “You’re sure?”

  She placed her hands on my chest and ran them down to my hips, pulling me closer until you couldn’t fit a piece of paper between us. “Positive.”

  I tilted her head back and captured her lips with mine. A moan sounded in the back of her throat as I parted her lips with my tongue to slip it inside and dance with hers. The hint of vanilla surrounded us, making me dizzy.

  Fingers lightly grazed the hem of my T-shirt when she slipped her hands beneath the fabric and skimmed my side. Heat bloomed at every point she touched. I never had such a need to be with someone the way I had with her. Breaking the connection of our lips, I pulled back panting. Her chest rose and fell rapidly in time with mine.

  With the desire to have skin to skin contact slipping across my nerves, it was time to take this to the bedroom or end up bare assed on her couch when her roommate got home. I’d seen her come out of the room on the left a few times now, but if she wanted me in there, she’d have to invite me in herself.

  “Bedroom?” My voice deep and raspy.

  She took as step back and held out her hand to me. I slid my palm over hers and let her lead me through the door. With the lock firmly in place, I turned to find Christine lying naked across her bed. The time for clothes had come and gone. I didn’t waste any time discarding mine onto the floor.

  I grabbed a condom from my wallet before climbing up on the bed with her.

  “Pretty sure about tonight, huh?”

  “I’ve been anything but sure for weeks since we met. It’s just better to be prepared than not.” I bent over her, taking her lips once again and letting my hand run down her smooth, creamy skin.

  “Fucking perfect.” I kissed along her jaw and down the column of her throat.

  My muscles were tense as I fought back my own desire. I kissed along her chest, taking one pebbled nipple into my mouth. Her back arched as I sucked on the tip, her fingers sinking into the hair at the back of my nape.

  “Aiden…” The raspy tone of her voice made my dick even harder. The need to bury myself deep in her overwhelming.

  “So sexy.” I nibbled my way across her chest to lavish her other breast with the same attention.

  Groans filled the air while I continued to tease her sensitive nipples with my tongue. Her legs trembling beneath my own.

  “Please touch me,” she begged.

  Lightly, I ran my fingers along the skin of her hip and down the outside of her thigh before sliding to the inside and tracing the same path back up until my fingers reached her core.

  I grew lightheaded from the sounds leaving her lips as I stroked her over and over again, watching her muscles tighten beneath my touch. She dug her nails into my back.

  “Oh my God, I can’t take much more.” Her head was thrown back on the pillow.

  I had to agree with her. My heartbeat pulsed in time with my shaft and my balls tingled, begging for release. I moved to my knees and grabbed the condom I set on the edge of the bed. Tearing it open with my teeth, I had it rolled on in no time.

  Leaning forward, I took her lips with mine as I slid inside heaven. Fire scorched along every nerve ending. Each thrust sending me closer and closer to the edge.

  My muscles burned as we continued to move together. Our bodies begging for release. I held myself above her, watching the flush of her cheeks as the tingles started at the base of my spine.

  “Jesus, Christine.”

  I moved without rhythm, chasing the high I knew was coming. The high I knew I could give her.

  The sound of my name filled the room and her body tightened around mine, taking me with her. I threw my head back. My vision blurred at the edges, reaching a place of ecstasy I never imagined in my life.

  Panting, I lowered myself on top of her, connecting our lips in a languid kiss.

  Never in my life had a sexual experience left me so breathless and spent.

  I brushed my fingers lightly across her cheek. “You are absolutely perfect.”

  She smiled and curled into my arms, exhaustion taking us both.

  9

  Months had passed in the blink of an eye with Christine. Our time together started off slow, growing until we saw each other almost every day. She came to all our shows unless she had a paper due. On other nights, when she had to work late on an assignment, I made sure to bring dinner and keep her company.

  We didn’t really have the same taste in movies, but we took turns picking, whether we went to the theater or just spent a night at home watching something on Netflix. Christine had a pretty simple outlook on things. Trips to the beach or walking around downtown before dinner made her happier than expensive meals and gifts.

  The holidays had come and gone. With the newness of our relationship, we decided to spend the time with our own families. Flying back and forth across the country didn’t seem to be the right thing to do yet. I hoped it would be next year. It sucked being away from her. Even though Jackson was home too, our friend Lexi stayed at school. One out of two best friends hadn’t been bad, but it made me miss our trio, especially without Christine there to keep my attention.

  Miles and Dylan gave me shit about dating Christine, mostly in fun. Kylee, on the other hand, knew I’d fallen too far down the rabbit hole to come back. She tried to get me to tell Christine how I felt, but no matter how much I wanted to, I knew Christine held something back from me.

  Not physically, but emotionally. She kept a part of herself under lock and key, and until I could get her to open herself up to me completely I knew we were stuck in this crossroads with nowhere else to go.

  She’d be done with her classes in a few months and I thought about asking her to move in with me. I’d already warned Miles that if she said yes, I was looking for a new place. It would work out in Dylan’s favor. He had found a new place to live this summer anyway and Miles could room with him.

  My hands shook as I waited for her to arrive. I’d already paced the room a million times. I decided tonight would be the night I’d ask her to move in and see where it led us.

  Miles had gone over to Kylee’s for a few hours to give us time alone. Thank fuck. I could only imagine this conversation with Miles listening to every word.

  The front door opened and I saw long blond hair right before she peeked her head around it.

  “Hey.” She smiled and stepped into the apartment, closing the door behind her.

  “Hey.” I walked over and wrapped my arms around her waist, pressing my lips to hers. “How was class today?”

  She leaned back in my arms. “Exhausting.”

  “I bet. Want something to drink?”

  “A bottle of water would be great.”

  I walked into the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water and the bowl of popcorn. Carrying them back into the living room, I set them on the table before I dropped them from my trembling fingers. Christine had already made herself at home by kicking off her shoes and curling her feet up under her on the couch.

  “Here.” I handed her the bottle.

  “Thanks.” She twisted off the cap and took a quick sip.

  In an attempt to buy myself a few more seconds, I grabbed the remote off the chair in the corner and took the seat next to her. “Before we watch the move I have a question for you.”

  She twisted her body to face me. “What’s up?”

  “So, I’ve been thinking a lot about next year.”

  “What about it?” Her brows drew together.

  “Well, we’ve been together for a while and besides the holidays, we’ve spent the rest of the time at each other’s places. And when we sleep over we have to worry about packing clothes and a toothbrush.” I knew I was rambling, but I couldn’t
stop the word diarrhea leaving my mouth. “With classes and practices we spend a lot of time just staying with each other so we can at least spend some time together. And I was thinking that maybe it would be better for us, give us more time to spend together, if we lived in the same place.”

  Christine froze. I was pretty sure she stopped breathing or maybe that was me. My stomach ached as I waited for her answer. She opened and closed her mouth a few times. The hurt and resentment started to burn through me. I could feel the heat rise in my face as I clenched my jaw tight, bracing for the no I was about to receive.

  I put my heart on the line time and time again for her, but she didn’t seem willing to do the same for me.

  The silence finally ended with a sigh. She looked at me and with a few words shattered any illusion I had that our relationship was going anywhere.

  “Aiden, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Living in separate apartments gives us our own space. This way when we need a break…”

  My hands clenched into fists as the hurt morphed into a simmering anger. “Need a break? Why would we need a break? We spend every waking moment together. This would just keep us from moving between places.”

  “Who knows, one day you might want a break. Separate places give us that option.”

  The lid I kept on the pot began to loosen. “What do you mean when I want a break? I’m the one suggesting living together. You’re the one who mentioned breaks. It’s like you’re trying to push me away.”

  She narrowed her eyes at me. “I don’t keep pushing you away.”

  “Bullshit.” I leapt to my feet and began pacing the floor. “From the first moment we met, you’ve kept me at arm’s length. Had a wall between us and I’ve busted my ass trying to dismantle it piece by piece. It seems that every time I get one brick down, two more go back up and I just don’t know how to fight anymore. For reasons I don’t understand, you want that barrier between us. I guess you don’t want me the same way I want you. So what are we doing?”

  Her eyes shimmered in the lights. “Of course I want you or I wouldn’t be here.”

  No matter my frustration, I hated seeing her cry. The tear slipping down her face felt like a punch straight to the gut. Knowing I’d partially caused it, the throbbing of my pulse lessened to a dull thud.

  I moved back to the couch and wrapped her into my arms. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset. I just don’t understand why you keep pushing me away every time I get too close.”

  “I don’t know why I do it.” She lifted her head and I cupped her face, brushing the tears away with my thumbs.

  “Yes, you do. I can’t fix it if you won’t tell me what it is.”

  A war raged in her eyes. The need to protect herself and the desire to tell me the problem fought for control. I sat back, hoping some space would give her the strength to tell me the truth.

  When she stayed quiet a little too long, I decided to give it one more try.

  “Be honest with me.”

  She twirled a small strand of hair around her finger, a sure sign of her nerves.

  “I’m always honest with you.”

  “Then tell me why after all this time together you still keep a piece of your heart to yourself?”

  “I don’t—”

  “You do. There’s something you’re holding onto and it’s creating this wall between us. And I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever be able to break it down.”

  Quiet settled over us. She moved on from playing with her hair to the label on her bottle. What seemed like hours had passed when she finally set the bottle down and turned to face me.

  Whatever it was, it made her nervous to talk about it. She blew out a breath, then averted her eyes away from me.

  “I’m afraid you’ll leave,” she whispered so low I barely recognized the words. I had to have heard that wrong. Why would she ever think I would leave?

  “What did you say?”

  She cleared her throat. “I’m afraid if I let you all the way in, you’ll leave.”

  Her eyes began to shimmer. I grabbed her hand and hauled her into my embrace. Holding her tight, I rested my chin on her head. “What would ever make you think that I would leave? I’ve proven time and again that I always stay when I say I will.”

  She shrugged. “Everyone always leaves. It’s just the way things work.”

  The words were so simple and raw, I almost couldn’t believe she said them. Whether or not they were true, Christine believed them wholeheartedly.

  I leaned back and placed my finger beneath her chin. “What makes you think that?”

  “My ex left. My dad left. Why would you be any different? And I’ve let it happen too many times. My heart can’t take much more. This keeps it protected.”

  I rubbed my thumb across her lips and held her gaze. “You don’t have to protect yourself from me. Just because those guys left doesn’t mean that everyone leaves. It means that those two men were selfish pricks, that’s all.”

  She sniffled. “I guess.” Doubt still lingered in her voice.

  “I know what happened with your ex, but why don’t you tell me what happened with your dad.”

  Her ex was a righteous douchebag. He’d been cheating on her with a handful of girls all over campus. He ended up leaving her for one who let him mooch off her more than Christine would.

  I know she’d been raised by a single mom, until her mom got remarried, but she’d never mentioned anything about what happened with her dad. Maybe knowing the true story from the beginning would have helped alleviate the problem.

  She shook her head. “You really don’t want to hear my sad childhood story.”

  “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know. Besides I think I need to know it if it’s coming between us.”

  “All right.”

  “Where do you want me to start?”

  “At the beginning.”

  She pushed back, away from me, and I had a feeling she needed her own space to get the story out.

  “I guess that would be when I turned three. Up until then, everything had been happy in my house. At least I thought it was.” She looked off into the distance, a faraway look in her eyes. “My parents had gotten married about five years before they even thought of having kids.”

  “Did they always plan on having kids?”

  “One, yes. But not more than one. I was supposed to be an only child.”

  Well, that didn’t make sense, since I knew she had a brother.

  “What about your brother?”

  “He was the accident nobody expected.”

  Even though I tried not to, I flinched at her words. “Ouch.”

  “Yeah. I still remember the day Mom told Dad.” Her eyes became unfocused like she’d been caught in the memory. “Even at three, I remembered the screaming.”

  “Their voices had grown louder and louder when they fought after putting me to bed. Mom had figured out she was pregnant, which made Dad think she cheated on him. He’d had a vasectomy and thought he couldn’t have more children.”

  “I’m guessing your mom didn’t cheat on him?”

  She dropped her gaze. “No, she didn’t.”

  “But your dad left anyway?”

  “Not right away. Mom swore up and down that she hadn’t cheated. Begged him to let her prove it. He agreed. My dad stayed around, waiting for my brother to be born. But even at three, I could feel the tension filling the house all of the time.”

  That couldn’t be good for any child to live through, much less one so young.

  “Okay, if he didn’t leave before your brother was born, when did he leave?”

  “A few years after he found out that Kyle actually was his son.”

  My head snapped up and I held my hands up to slow her down. Thankfully she’d been watching me. “What do you mean he left after he found out your brother was his son?”

  “Exactly. Once they’d proven that the vasectomy had failed and Kyle was definitely my brother, you would
think everything would be okay.”

  I sighed. “But it wasn’t, was it?”

  “No.” Her voice grew lower. “He blamed my mom for them having another kid when he only wanted one. He told her she should’ve been on some other type of birth control. But even that didn’t break them up. He stayed for a while and ignored my brother. My mom had to do everything when it came to him. Kyle was two when my mom asked my dad for help. His idea was to suggest my mom give my brother up for adoption.”

  My mouth fell open. What could possibly be wrong with that man?

  “Shit,” I muttered under my breath.

  “That’s the perfect word to describe the mess left behind. I’d gotten off the bus that day looking for my mom, but she wasn’t there. Thankfully, our neighbor agreed to walk me home.” She fidgeted in her seat. “As we walked down the street, I wondered where she was. She’d never forgotten me before. I knew something was wrong when I opened the door and was greeted with silence. Well, the house wasn’t exactly silent. The sound of muffled cries caught my attention. I found my mom sitting in the living room, holding my brother on her lap. Her face streaked with tears.”

  “Your dad didn’t want to stay if he had to deal with Kyle?”

  I moved over and wrapped Christine into my arms. “Just because your father is a world-class jackass, doesn’t mean that every man you meet is. I know for a fact what your father did was wrong. It was his job to love you both and he couldn’t do that.”

  “No, he couldn’t,” she agreed. “He only wanted me.” He bottom lip began to quiver. “Do you know how it would have made me feel to get rid of my brother and pretend he never existed?”

  “It would have broken you, just like it would have broken anyone else with a heart. Apparently your father doesn’t have one of those.”

  “You’re right, but I had to live with the fact that my father walked away when something didn’t go his way.”

  “And now you think every guy is going to bail any time they don’t get their way.”