First and Always: The Forever Duet

by Brooke, Rebecca

  The doctor shook her head. “Don’t be sorry. I wish I could give you better news. Would you like to go back to her room?”

  “Yes.” My voice had grown hoarse.

  The path down the hall was as blurry as before, as I was unable to see through the tears clouding my vision. I wrapped my hand around the handle and pushed the door open. My heart stopped.

  The loud whoosh of the respirator filled the room. She looked even more fragile in the bed than she had earlier. I forced myself to take one step, then another until I reached her bed. I knew I had to call our parents, but I wanted one minute alone with her. One minute to beg her to stay with me.

  I slipped my hand over hers, the only that didn’t contain an IV. “Please, don’t leave me. You’re my whole world. My best friend, Chloe’s mother. We need you.”

  I couldn’t stop the rambling words from leaving my lips. Almost as if I stopped talking, she wouldn’t be with me anymore. Eventually when my voice had grown hoarse, I forced myself to call our parents. Mom had already called Jackson and he was on his way in to stay with the baby while they came down to stay with us.

  Only two people were allowed in the room at a time. My father convinced me to give Christine’s parents a few minutes alone with her while I went to see Chloe. Guilt burned through me when I realized I’d only spent maybe an hour with her since she came into this world.

  I took the elevator down, only after making everyone on the floor promise me that they call me if anything, and I meant anything changed.

  I stepped into the nursery. As they scanned my band, I noticed the looks of pity being directed my way. I did my best to ignore it as they led me over to Chloe’s crib. There was a chair already set up next to it.

  She was such a peanut. I reached into the crib and scooped her into my arms. “I’m sorry, princess, I haven’t been here with you. I’ve been trying to take care of Mommy.” I lowered myself into the chair, leaning her against my chest. “I know Grammie and Grandpa have been taking good care of you. I just need to make sure Mommy can get better to come home with us. Uncle Jackson should be here soon.”

  I brought her closer, hugging her to me and taking in her sweet baby smell. Sitting in that chair away from Christine was as bad as sitting in Christine’s room away from Chloe. Like being the middle of the rope in tug-o-war. Nobody won in either scenario.

  Deep down I knew I’d feel guilt either way, but I also needed Christine to come home with us. Chloe needed her mother and I’d move goddamn mountains to make that happen if I had to.

  If weren’t already in the best hospital in the state, I’d be flying in doctors. The best of the best were already there.

  “Hey.”

  I glanced up to see Jackson standing at the edge of the room. “Hey.”

  He wandered farther into the room, coming to stand directly in front of me and Chloe. “She’s beautiful, you know.”

  I ran my fingers along her perfect little cheek. “She is.”

  Jackson crouched down in front of me. “I’ll stay with her if you want to go back to Christine.”

  Back and forth. Back and forth. The movement comforting in a moment when everything seemed to be falling apart around me.

  “I feel guilty leaving her. I feel guilty leaving Christine alone.” I lifted my head and Jackson’s image swam before me. “How did we end up here?”

  He placed his hand on the arm of the chair, stopping the movement. “I don’t know, and as much as I wish we weren’t, right now the only thing we can do is push forward. Don’t feel guilty about leaving Chloe. She’s healthy and being well taken care of. It’s your wife who needs you now more than ever.”

  I watched as Chloe moved her hands beside her head. “This morning I wondered when Christine would get to meet her. Now, I have to wonder if she’ll ever get to meet her.”

  “She will. You have to believe. Have faith.”

  I shook my head. “I’m trying, but every hour that nothing improves, that faith slips a little bit more.”

  “I know and I wish there was something I could say or do to fix it. The best I can do is take care of your daughter until you can.”

  With an energy I didn’t think I had left, I pushed to my feet with Chloe in my arms. I held her a bit longer, watching her sleep again before reluctantly holding her out to Jackson and letting him take her from me.

  He cradled her in one arm and laid his hand on my shoulder. “I promise to take good care of her.”

  The lump in my throat made it difficult to push any sound past my lips. I nodded and made myself head for the door. Every few steps I found myself glancing over my shoulder to get another look at Chloe.

  When I made it past the doorway and into the hall, I found my feet flying across the tiles. My desire to get to back to Christine overwhelming me now that Jackson was taking care of Chloe.

  The ride up to her floor seemed to take forever. My phone had been silent from the moment I left her a little while ago. Everyone had promised to let me know if there were any changes. I jogged down the hall toward the door leading to her room.

  I pressed the buzzer to the right and waited for an answer.

  “How can I help you?”

  “I’m here to see Christine Cormack, please.”

  “Come inside.”

  Getting into the ICU required more documentation than getting back stage at one of our concerts. The doors swung open and I wasted no time moving through them and into the area. I checked in at the desk, where the nurse told me two people were still in with Christine.

  “Wait here, please, while I check in with them.”

  My foot tapped out a rhythm on the floor while I waited for her to come back. When she emerged from Christine’s room, Carla and Jim followed behind her. Jim had his arm around Carla’s shoulders. Her face red and her eyes puffy, it looked as if he held her up as they made their way to where I stood near the door.

  “Aiden,” she breathed when she saw me, launching herself into my arms.

  I wrapped my arms around her, holding tight to me as sobs wracked her body. When I looked at Jim over her shoulder, I could see the same beaten down expression I was sure I had on my own features.

  There were no words of comfort I could give her, so I simply stood there, rubbing her back, holding her as the emotion passed through her. Her breath hitched a few times as she tried to pull herself together.

  “Carla,” Jim said, reaching for his wife. “Let Aiden go in to see her.”

  Pain filled eyes met mine. “I’m so sorry, Aiden. I don’t mean to keep you from her.”

  “I know you don’t. You needed to let it out. I’m sure we all do.”

  Carla stepped back and gripped both of my hands in hers. “Promise me, you’ll call me if there’s any change.”

  “Of course.”

  “We’ll be in the waiting room down the hall. I don’t want to be too far when she wakes up.”

  “I promise I’ll call.”

  She watched my hands as she slowly stepped back, letting our hands fall apart. One last glance at Christine’s door and she burst into tears. Jim had to escort her out of the ICU. Once the door shut behind them, the nurse gestured to the room.

  The door was slightly ajar when I reached it. The same beeps as before filled my ears. Are they slower than before?

  I pushed that thought to the back of my head and walked all the way inside the room, choosing the seat closest to the bed. I wanted her to hear my voice, but the only thing I could think of to talk about was Chloe. Maybe it would give her the incentive she needed to come home to us.

  “Chloe is beautiful. She’s absolutely perfect. Ten little finger, ten little toes. But she’s missing her mommy. I have to say I’m missing her mommy too.”

  I slid my hand into hers, which was cool to the touch. Linking our fingers together, I lay my cheek against our joined fingers, needing to feel her skin against mine.

  The machines clicked and buzzed all while I continued to talk to her. Ramblings tha
t alternated between begging and pleading to frustration and a little anger. Anything to get her to open her eyes and look at me.

  I don’t know how long I sat there. Nurses came in and out. The room grew dark as the sun set until they turned up the brightness on the lights.

  Time passed in increments of wondering how we’d get through if anything happened to her. To me pleading with her to never leave me. To not leave Chloe.

  A tear slid down my cheek, but I didn’t have the energy to lift my hand and brush it away.

  “I love you, Christine. I know I said it a million times over the last forty-eight hours, but I don’t know what else to say to get you to stay with me and I’m running out of hope that you will. Every hour that passes, my fear of losing you forever grows. I need you to come back to me.”

  I counted each beat of her heart, knowing for each one I heard she was still with me. At some point, whether it was the middle of the night or early morning I didn’t know, there was a soft squeeze of my hand.

  My head darted toward Christine’s. Her eyelids fluttered slightly. I popped up out of the chair so quickly it went clattering to the floor.

  “You can do it, baby. Come back to me.”

  Her eyes slowly fluttered open. When her gaze moved to mine my heart soared. Things had to be getting better if she woke up. I laid my hand against her cheek. Her eyes were dilated and slightly unfocused as she stared at me. But I knew she could see me as her body seemed to relax when our eyes connected.

  “I love you. You’ll be okay.”

  A single tear slid down her cheek. As I brushed the tear from her face with my thumb her eyes rolled into the back of her head. Her body spasmed uncontrollably on the bed.

  Alarms sounded in the room and the door burst open, banging into the wall. Doctors and nurses raced all around her bed. Orders being called out. Needles being pushed into IVs. Fear wrapped around me like a vice, holding me frozen to the spot.

  I prayed over and over for her heart to beat again. For her to open her eyes.

  Something.

  Anything.

  But nothing came.

  Nothing, but one of the nurses as she dropped her head over Christine’s bed.

  Nothing, but the silence as the machine were turned off and the beep ended.

  The only sound that cut through the silence in the room was the doctor as she stepped into my line of sight. “I’m sorry, we did everything we could.”

  Then came the screams as I dropped to my knees and begged.

  “Please don’t take her from me.”

  Want to follow the rest of Aiden’s story? Preorder part two, Last and Forever. Or do you want to see where it all started with Jackson and Jaded Ivory? Download Rock Me now.

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  About the Author

  Rebecca Brooke grew up in the shore towns of South Jersey. She loves to hit the beach, but always with her kindle on hand. She is married to the most wonderful man, who puts up with all of her craziness. Together they have two beautiful children who keep her on her toes. When she isn’t writing or reading (which is very rarely) she loves to bake and binge watch Netflix.

  www.rebeccabrooke.com

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  Also by Rebecca Brooke

  Jaded Ivory Series

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  Coming Home

  Just Once

  Forgiven Series

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  Redemption

  Healed

  Acceptance

  Second Chance Duet

  Ryder

  Second Chances

  Folstad Prophecies

  Twin Runes

  Elemental Runes

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  Vengeance Unraveled