Darkest Sinner

by Van Dyken, Rachel

  “Yes, go jumpy Alex. Maybe you’ll jumpy so high up in the sky you stay there.” I said dryly.

  He laughed and chased the kids out followed by his very pregnant wife who glared in my direction. “If he flies high in the sky you better be ready to play dad,” Her eyes narrowed in on mine. For an elf she was quite violent when pregnant.

  And aggressive.

  “I love you too.” I winked at Hope as she made her way outside yelling at Alex to stop aggravating the trees under the trampoline. The earth shook a bit, pebbles grumbled.

  All in all, a typical day in the life of a siren.

  “So?” I squeezed my hand while Ethan pulled out another dusty book and dropped it on the kitchen table. “Am I going to turn into a plant? I don’t think I could survive if I grew fruit.” I tried to joke, but inside, I was petrified.

  Which was alarming since I’d never once in my existence ever been afraid.

  But now? I was drowning in fear.

  Fear that the monster inside was finally coming out to play.

  Fear that the borrowed soul was going bad.

  Fear that my actual soul, the one that had been restored to me, was somehow dying, or fighting a losing battle against all the rest of the darkness within me that was overpowering every good decision, every good part of me.

  I could feel the darkness closing in, and I didn’t know how to stop it. All my life I’d wanted to one thing.

  To be redeemed.

  What cruel twist of fate would make it so I could taste that sort of existence only to have it ripped away from me?

  Mason grabbed another book.

  Serenity did the same.

  Silence ensued as each of us read dusty book after dusty book, looking for clues in the only way we knew how.

  Our old texts.

  Each book told a story of our races.

  Like I said, everyone had a Bible, this was ours.

  Ethan shook his head. “Nothing recorded for the vampires.”

  Mason made a choking sound. Just as the door swung open revealing Tarek. “Sorry for barging in.”

  The guy pulled out a chair and put his feet up on the table.

  Mason shoved them off.

  Tarek put them right back on.

  Brotherhood seemed fun.

  “Something you need?” Mason asked

  “Nope, was just too depressed to go back to the dungeon aka the demon’s house.” He grinned at me then said, “Just in case you weren’t aware that’s where you live.”

  “Thanks,” I bit out. “Because I often get confused about my own identity.”

  Something sizzled against my skin and then it felt like claws were ripping me from the inside out. I shifted to keep from bringing attention to myself, to the pain, to what was happening inside my own body.

  Tarek shrugged. “What are we doing?”

  “Reading.” I drew out the word. “If you want to help all you have to do is open one of these,” I slid one of the texts toward his feet and pointed. “And sound out the really hard words.”

  He flipped me off.

  I ignored it and grabbed another text from the pile.

  Nothing about tattoos so far.

  Nothing about goddesses cursing demons either.

  I cringed just as the air around us started to pulsate. “I hate it when he does that.”

  Cassius just appeared in a flurry of purple feathers, jet black hair, and the smell of ambrosia.

  With an irritated sigh, I waited for him to sheath his wings. He tucked them back and then they completely disappeared like they were a figment of our imaginations. But we all knew, they were there, each feather was soft with razor sharp edges just pulsing to draw blood.

  “I doubt you’ll find anything in these.” He shoved one of the texts away and stared at me, then grabbed my hand. “Incredible.”

  “Thanks, I’ve always wanted to hold hands with an angel.”

  “Angels and demons,” Ethan said under his breath.

  It earned him another sigh.

  Was that all I was capable of, then?

  My mood darkened just as ice spread through my veins, compliments of the guy still holding my hand like we were minutes away from an awkward prom photo.

  “Strange.” Cassius examined my hand closer. “The ice doesn’t chill the tattoo, only the skin around it.”

  “So you’re saying I’ll have frostbite everywhere but where I want it?” I nodded. “Fantastic, I’d say it’s been a great day, but…”

  Cassius eyes flashed white. “We’ll figure it out. The good news is we have time, remember? We’re at a standstill with The Watchers, and everything seems to have gone back to normal.”

  The Watchers were all fallen angels. Wonderful folks with way too much magic and a huge chip on their shoulders. Mason had given them all they’d wanted: the ability to listen to the heavens and hear the music of creation on a daily basis with the promise that if they behaved they’d be reunited once and for all.

  It was a wonderful fairy tale I still had trouble believing.

  Because if the worst of the worst could be welcomed into heaven.

  What exactly did that say about me? About my race?

  The thought haunted me.

  It made me question everything about myself, everything about the world I knew, and I hated not knowing answers.

  “The Watchers,” Mason said in a gruff voice. “One of them may know…”

  Cassius gasped and then doubled over, the entire room dropped forty degrees. I sucked in a freezing breath as Cassius gripped me by the shoulders.

  “The hell?” Ethan jumped to his feet while Cassius held me in his grasp like he was minutes away from slitting my throat. “Cassius? What are you doing? It’s Timber.”

  “The sun.” Cassius’s voice shook the house. “Who houses the sun?” And then his eyes turned black, hard as stone as he whispered. “Ra.”

  And just like that a memory washed over me, it was brief, it was warm, everything I touched turned to light, my armor was red and gold, I marched in front of an army all arrogance and smiles.

  “For your arrogance, I curse you!” Ramesses yelled. I only laughed and shook my head, Pharaohs, idiots all of them! A human couldn’t curse me!

  “I would like to see you try!” I let out a deafening roar as my brothers and sisters raised their swords. “This earth is ours!”

  So much blood.

  So much death.

  I lost the light.

  I reached for it—but the minute I stepped away from His face, the gift was gone.

  As was the warmth in my chest.

  Only emptiness.

  A punishment for our sins.

  For following Those who Watched the humans from the mountain, for choosing humanity first, the Creator second. For daring to believe we should have more than the idiot humans ruining the very planet we’d been ruling for centuries!

  I jerked away from Cassius—or at least tried to.

  And when he didn’t budge, I let out a roar and slammed my hand into his chest.

  He went flying backward against the wall, knocking over a few chairs and creating a giant crack that went all the way to the ceiling.

  “What the hell was that?” Ethan was at Cassius’s side in a second.

  Cassius’s eyes returned to blue, and they didn’t leave mine as he stood, dusted himself off, and asked what was currently pulsing in my heart, in my head. “What sort of being can shove an angel and live to tell about it?”

  I swallowed the dryness in my throat and hung my head. “I wish I knew.”

  Mason looked at me through narrowed eyes.

  Tarek seemed unfazed.

  And the noise was enough for Alex to be stomping back into the house ready to kick ass with everyone else.

  I had always been their enemy.

  And then their friend.

  Now I wasn’t sure what they would call me.

  Because I’d just been able to shove away our King.

  An
d everyone knew, demons couldn’t touch an angel in any sort of violent way without getting the shit beat out of them.

  Demons seduced.

  We drained.

  We did not fight.

  And if we did, we did it as an army so we knew we would win.

  A demon and an angel.

  It was laughable.

  More confused than before, I quietly stood, grabbed my keys, and left the house.

  Feeling darker than ever.

  My palm pulsed.

  My heart ached.

  And for some irritating reason—I thought of her, the beautiful girl with name like sunshine.

  And for the first time in millennia, I felt my face heat.

  KYRA

  I had a double shift that day, apparently they weren’t just short staffed, they needed to hire another person after me. Tarek said it was because people quit only a few weeks in because they couldn’t handle the stress.

  I wasn’t sure what was so stressful about a bar full of drunk people. I mean the entire place was beautiful when it wasn’t crowded at least. The lights were a silver blue pointed toward the dance floor, all of the tables and chairs were white, and they had a wooden bar that extended all the way across the room. It was classy, unique.

  Just… crowded.

  I checked my phone and frowned. My parents were on another dig, I swear all they did was search for mythological things that never existed in the first place. I’d been sad when they left the US again and even more confused when my mom looked at me as if I was the reason they were leaving. I shoved my phone back in my purse and shoved it in the employee locker then pulled my short hair back into a ponytail. After washing my hands I made my way toward the bar to set up the menus. Tarek was already pouring booze into bottles.

  He pulled out two small shot glasses and dumped tequila in them. “Cheers! You’re going to need it today.”

  I stared him down in confusion. “We can’t drink on the job.”

  “Correction, we shouldn’t drink on the job, and normally I’d agree with you, but trust me on this,” He slid the shot glass over. “You’ll wish you would have had at least ten of these. Trust.” He grabbed a wash rag and started wiping up the bar just as the front door opened.

  I wasn’t aware slow-motion walking actually happened in real life.

  In movies, sure, they slow it down, edit, boom, you have the perfect entrance. But it wasn’t reality.

  At least I didn’t think it was.

  But I was fully experiencing it as Timber walked into the bar, his white blond hair looking like a halo over his head. His eyes went from what I could have sworn was red to a bright blue, and the smirk on his face, well let’s just say I averted my eyes because I was one hundred percent sure my heart couldn’t handle it.

  Who looked like that and owned bars? Wasn’t he missing the Academy Awards or something?

  I tried to busy myself despite the sudden heat I felt in my chest, and then realized I was literally staring at a shot glass, on the clock, and looking guilty.

  “Day drinking?” He breezed past me.

  “No.”

  “Good.” He took my shot, downed it, and grumbled. “Wish it worked better.”

  “Want me to pour you another?”

  The corners of his mouth tilted into what felt like a mocking smile. “You could give me several bottles and I promise I could still drive home. It doesn’t work well for some people. I’m one of those people.”

  “That’s physically impossible,” I pointed out trying not to stare too hard into his eyes, eyes that looked familiar.

  “And yet… here I am.” He grabbed one of the bottles in front of me and then disappeared back into his office. Huh, so maybe that was why he owned bars. Alcoholic? Wanted an excuse to sit at his desk with a bottle of Jack?

  I shoved the thought away, grabbed some of the bar menus, and put them on the table just as the music turned on.

  Timber chose that moment—what, like five seconds later?—to walk out of his office, deposit an empty liquor bottle on the bar, and say, “Told you.”

  He walked in a straight-line back; he looked tense, like he was upset that liquor had once again failed him some way.

  “Impossible,” I muttered under my breath.

  “That…” Tarek appeared out of nowhere. “…seems to be the case with all things Timber, but I promise, what you see, is truly what you get.”

  I frowned. “He must have a high alcohol tolerance.”

  Tarek snorted.

  “What?”

  He held up his hands. “Hey if you want to test that theory,” he eyed all the liquor bottles.

  “I’m game.” I shrugged. Nothing else to do since we weren’t opening for another twenty minutes, besides there was something about him, something menacing and comforting all at once. He reminded me of the darkness, of my dreams, and I liked that more than I cared to admit. Great, two days in and I was acting crazy. “He likes Jack?”

  “He likes to forget, and he needs to remember.” Tarek said cryptically. “Then again what do I know, I’m just a bartender with a man bun.”

  “And a Scottish burr.”

  “And here I thought I hid it so well.” He winked. “Not everything is as it seems, Kyra, remember that. Make the boss a drink, then get your ass back here to work.”

  “On it.” I exhaled a breath and started mixing a concoction I’d seen on Facebook it was basically liquor on top of liquor on top of more liquor and finished off with beer. If that didn’t do the trick—he wasn’t human.

  I snorted out a laugh at myself.

  Right. What else could he be? A vampire.

  I laughed again at myself, picked up the drink, and made the short trek to his office. The door was open. His eyes were locked on the screen of his laptop. “Did you need something person with the crazy name that makes no sense?”

  “Oh good to know that’s how you’ll address me from here on out, kind of a mouthful don’t you think?”

  And nothing, no twitching lips, no smile, just… silence.

  And sighing.

  The guy sighed a lot, like the world was a burden, like the air around him offended his person.

  I’d met him, what? Twice? And I could already see that he just… wasn’t happy, no containment, no inspiration, just this waste of male beauty and darkness.

  Something warmed in my chest.

  He just… he needed something to be excited about.

  Right?

  “Here,” I walked fully into his office and set the drink down on the mahogany table. “You said booze doesn’t work on you and well, I like a good challenge.”

  He eyed the drink skeptically. “Do you now?”

  “Absolutely, if that doesn’t knock you on your ass, I’ll owe you.”

  “What?”

  “Huh?”

  “What will you owe me?”

  “Umm,” The air thickened around us. “What do you want?”

  Electricity crackled between us, the air was heavy with… something. His eyes didn’t leave mine. “I’ll let you know once I win.”

  “Too bad you’ll be completely drunk.”

  “We’ll see.” He grinned finally, took a sip, then another. “It tastes like you played suicide with liquor instead of soda.”

  “Best game ever, I always mixed my Mountain Dew with Doctor Pepper.” I said trying to lighten the mood and the tension swirling in his eyes. He gave off heat and something else, cinder maybe? But that would be crazy.

  “What a monster you must have been” He finally grinned. “And you haven’t lived unless you’ve mixed coke with lemonade.”

  I made a face.

  “Trust me,” He winked and stood, then literally downed the rest of the drink in seconds before handing the glass back to me. “It was a valiant effort.”

  “Well, wait for it to kick in.”

  “I have a very aggressive metabolism.” He shrugged.

  I waited for him to laugh, slur, say he was tired, th
ank me, kiss me, I mean really any sort of behavior other than him just staring at me with big bright blue eyes and darkness in his pupils would have been better.

  “About that favor…” He leaned in, his hand grazed mine as he pressed the glass farther against me. And then his eyes flashed red so brief I probably imagined a trick of the lights. His knuckles grazed mine and then he gripped my hand. The glass dropped onto his desk shattering into several pieces. He shook his head then leaned forward. “Did you drug me?”

  “With liquor? Yes.” I squinted, he seemed… brighter. “Are you okay?”

  “You—” He leaned, swayed, then tightened his hold. “So many colors, like a painting, not dull at all. Like the desert, and heat, like the sun.”

  “Um… should I get Tarek?” I backed away even as my heart picked up speed at the way his eyes bore into mine.

  “Don’t you feel it? See it?” His eyes narrowed, and then he jerked his hand away from me and stared me down like I was a disease. “I should fire you.”

  “For giving you a drink?”

  He exhaled a curse and rounded the corner of the desk. “Do not touch me again, ever. I don’t know who sent you but no, the answer is no.”

  “No?” I repeated. “Timber I think you just had too much to drink—”

  He burst out laughing. “It’s not the alcohol. It’s you.”

  “I make you drunk.”

  “I was going to say violent,” he spat. “Stay away from me. This isn’t a game. You’ll only get hurt. Run along now.” He flicked his wrist.

  “Okay, I think I’ll just grab some water for you and—”

  In a flash he was bracing my body against the wall, holding me up like I weighed nothing, his teeth flashed, were those fangs? I blinked and then he looked normal again, his eyes blazed so blue they almost turned white and then he slowly lowered me to my feet. “Do. Not. Touch. Me.”

  “Okay.”

  “Don’t speak to me,” he added. “Don’t look at me. As far as I’m concerned, you do not exist. Are we clear?”

  I nodded as tears filed my eyes. And then I stumbled back to the bar, my heart feeling bruised, my ego more so. What did I do wrong? And why did a stranger’s rejection make my heart clench?