by K. C. Crowne
“Of course not,” Abe said. “But I want to make sure you’re taken care of regardless - both during and after the pregnancy. I know this means you’ll have to take off work sooner than expected, and I want to make sure you can take care of yourself and your business.”
“I appreciate that,” I said, still staring into the fire. Yes, maybe the money would help, but that was the least of my concerns at the moment.
“And, if you have any questions, I’m always here for you.”
I turned to meet his gaze. I did have questions, a lot of them. We were going to be meeting with a specialist in a few days, but that didn’t answer the concerns weighing on me that evening.
“What should I expect, Abe? Like, I’ve heard of people having twins, but I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who had triplets. Is it a lot like that, or what?”
“Well, first of all, you probably won’t be pregnant for the full forty weeks. Triplets are usually considered full-term around 35 weeks, and often delivered between 32-34 weeks. As you already know, you will have to stop working sooner. And I can pretty much guarantee that you will have to have a c-section.”
I nodded. Most of that was about what I expected. I didn’t know how early the babies would be born, and that concerned me. I rested my hand on my tummy. “Will they be okay, being born that early?”
Abe sighed, but didn’t answer right away. “We’re going to do everything we can to make sure of it. They may be small, but many multiples are born today and go on to live healthy, normal lives. We have the medical technology to make sure of it. And these babies are extra lucky, they have a doctor for a father. I will make sure you and they get the best care available, no matter what.”
His words soothed me, as I stared down at my hand resting on my belly. Sometimes it felt like I was alone through all of this, mainly because of the setup of our relationship, but that wasn’t exactly true. He was there, and he knew what he was doing - which was good, because I really had no idea what I’d signed up for when I agreed to do this.
“And, I have a proposition for you, Felicity.”
His words took me by surprise. I looked up and met his gaze. “What is it?”
“I’d like you to move in with me. That way, I can be there for you at all times, except when I’m at work - and even then, I’m just a phone call away. I can hire staff to watch over and--”
“No,” I said, looking away. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
I was already worried about falling in love with him and thinking we could be together. The last thing I needed was to play house during the pregnancy. To see the nurseries he was putting together, to be there when he came home every night. No, if we weren’t going to be together, I couldn’t do it. I had to look out for myself as well.
“You’re already only a call away. I don’t see why it would matter if I was there or here,” I added.
Abe sighed and threw his hand up to stop me. “Fine, I understand if you think that now, but the offer is open during the entire pregnancy. If at any time, you want to stay with me, so I can be there in case something goes wrong, just know you can.”
“I appreciate that.” As nice as it sounded, I knew my limits. “Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?”
I held my head up high and kept the tears from falling. I think I even appeared to be fine. I felt fine, at least then. The moods came and went. But I was glad I could at least put on a confident and calm facade for the moment.
“Is there anything you wanted to talk about?” Abe asked. “I mainly wanted to check on you.”
I shrugged. There was a lot on my mind, a lot of reasons I wasn’t fine, but nothing I felt comfortable confiding to Abe about. I wanted more than he was willing to give me, and I was afraid once these babies were born, I might not be able to hand them over. Except, I didn’t get the feeling that was negotiable. I just had to wait and see.
“I’m okay, I think,” I said. I pushed myself from the couch, the blanket falling to the floor. “And I think I’m getting pretty tired; I’d like to sleep now if that’s okay.”
“Oh, okay, sure,” Abe said, seemingly surprised by how quickly I was kicking him out.
We walked to the front door and I held it open, the cold, winter air bringing a chill to my otherwise warm and cozy home. Abe walked to the door but stopped right in front of me. He was so big and massive, towering over me. Some might think it was intimidating, but there was nothing scary about this man.
At least not to me.
“Felicity, I mean it. If you need anything, call me.”
I stared into his eyes and swallowed a lump forming in my throat.
God, I need so much from you, Abe, I thought to myself. But instead, I settled for “Thank you.”
Abe leaned down and I froze. His face closed in on mine, and I couldn’t breathe. What was he doing? Was he kissing me?
His lips brushed my cheek instead of my lips, and my knees went weak. I turned my head, and his lips met mine for a split second before I stepped backward, pressing against the door at my back. I closed my eyes to block out the tears.
“Please, don’t. We have to keep things from getting uncomplicated.”
“Yes, I’m sorry--”
“Just go, please.”
I heard his footsteps as he left my house and walked down the steps. I kept my eyes closed and remained frozen against the open door until I heard his car pull out of the driveway. Once it was safe to open my eyes, I did so, letting out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.
Dammit, Abe. Stop playing with me.
Though it had started as a simple kiss on the cheek, it was my fault for turning my head, but he shouldn’t have gotten that close to kissing me anyway. There was no need for it.
Couldn’t he see that I was too fragile for even a kiss on the cheek? I guess not. My strong, confident facade really was working, I guess. Either that or he couldn’t resist.
Nah, don’t think like that, Felicity. It will only get you into trouble.
I closed the door behind me, grateful to be back in the warmth of my home. Of course, my bladder isn't what it used to be, pre-pregnancy, and I had to go again. I hurried to the bathroom, and my mind was still wrapped up in thoughts of Abe that I almost just flushed without a second thought.
But something caught my eye.
Blood. On the toilet paper.
Oh shit, I thought. Panic washed over me. I told myself that it was probably nothing, but that didn’t help calm me down.
What if it was something?
I pulled out my phone, and I considered calling Abe back to drive me to the hospital. He said he’d be there for me, no matter what.
But I couldn’t bear looking at him. Not right now. It would hurt too much.
I dialed Leah’s number instead.
Ooo000ooo
“Are you going to call him?” Leah asked, once we were in a room.
“I’ll call him if something goes wrong,” I said matter-of-factly. “Even the nurse said a little spotting is normal.”
“Was it just a little spotting?”
“I think so.” Honestly, I freaked out the moment I saw blood, I couldn’t be trusted to gauge what was a little blood and what was a lot.
Leah cocked her head to the side and studied me for a moment. “Why don’t you want to call him? Abe is a good guy, I’m sure he would--”
“Yes, I’m sure he’d be here in a heartbeat, and it wouldn’t be bothering him. But that’s not why I’m avoiding the call, Leah.”
“Then why are you?”
I let out a shaky breath and stared at the bright lights of the emergency room ceiling.
I didn’t even have to answer. Leah already knew what I was thinking.
“You’re falling for him, aren’t you?”
“I don’t think I’ve fallen too far yet,” I said, lying to both Leah and myself. “But I’d like some space, just to make sure I don’t get any crazy ideas in my head about us.”
“Are you sure there’s nothing between the two of you?”
“Please, don’t toy with those ideas, Leah. I can’t handle it right now.”
“Okay, sorry. I just see the way he looks at you. I think maybe there is--”
“Please, stop,” I said, holding up a hand. Tears welled in my eyes as I looked over at her. “He’s made it pretty clear that nothing can develop between us. I can’t think too much into the way he looks at me or how he treats me, I need to listen to his words and believe him.”
“You’re right, I guess,” Leah said with a sigh. She rubbed at her eyes. It was getting kind of late, and she seemed tired. We’d been waiting a while for the test results. Nothing ever seemed to move very fast in a hospital setting.
She was quiet for a long time, and I was just about to tell her it was fine to go home. I’d get another ride, call on another friend, but she spoke up first.
“You know, he deserves to know what’s going on. If they need to rush you in for a procedure or you need to make a choice, he should be here.”
She was right. I knew she was.
“I know it’s hard, Felicity,” she said, sitting up and taking my hand. “And I’m sorry. But you have to think about these babies, and they are half his. Any choices made tonight, he needs to be part of it. I can’t really speak for him, and neither can you.”
Tears slid down my cheeks, but I nodded.
I hoped there’d be nothing wrong, and I tried to tell myself it was nothing. But she was right. If they came in and said I had a choice to make, how could I do that without his input? These weren’t just my babies, it wasn’t just my job to protect him. And if I needed guidance, Leah could offer some kind thoughts or support, but Abe was a doctor. He’d know more and be able to weigh in on things that Leah couldn’t.
“Hand me my phone,” I said softly.
“Good girl. I’ll be here as long as you need me, he can wait in the waiting room if need be.”
I nodded and dialed Abe’s number. He answered, his voice groggy. He’d likely been asleep.
“Felicity? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I mean, I think so. But I’m not sure.” Suddenly the tears really began to fall, and I was sobbing so much, I could barely get the words out. “I’m at the hospital.”
That’s all I needed to say.
“I’ll be right there.”
Abe
“I’m here to see Felicity James.”
The nurse at the front desk types something into her computer. “And you are?”
“I’m Doctor Abel Hammond,” I said matter-of-factly.
“No, I mean, who are you in relation to the patient, sir?”
“I’m the father of the babies she’s carrying.” I wasn’t sure what else I could say to describe myself.
That seemed to shift something in the nurses’ mind. She stood up and I thought she was going to have me follow her back, but instead said, “Wait here.”
“Wait here?” I knew protocol, and I knew she was going to make sure it was alright with Felicity if I came back, but I didn’t want to wait. I wanted to be back there, to make sure her and my babies were okay.
It felt like an eternity until the double doors leading to the back opened up. Except it wasn’t the nurse from before, it was Leah.
“They said she could only have one guest at a time back there,” Leah said.
The nurse came out right afterward. “Right this way.”
I was nearly running down the hallway, the only thing slowing me down was I didn’t know exactly which room she was in. I knew the hospital layout like the back of my hand, but I still had to follow the nurse to the exact room.
“She’s right in here--”
Before the nurse could finish, I swung open the door and entered Felicity’s room.
She was in the hospital bed, pale as the hospital gown she was wearing. Her eyes and nose were red from crying, and she still had wet streaks down her cheeks. My heart nearly broke in half seeing her like that.
“Are you okay?” I rushed to her side.
“I think so, yes,” she said, wiping at her cheeks. “They ran some tests, and I’m just waiting for the doctor to look over everything.”
Just then, a nurse entered the room. I swung around to face her. “Do we have the test results back yet?”
The nurse smiled sweetly. “Most of them, yes, but Dr. Lawton is looking everything over and will be in with some news shortly.”
“Can you at least tell us if the babies are okay?”
“I can’t, but Dr. Lawton will be in shortly.”
My fists were balled up at my sides. I knew there was nothing more than this nurse could do, but I still wanted answers, dammit. And I wanted them now.
“Can I speak to Dr. Lawton, please?”
“I believe Dr. Lawton is seeing another patient at the moment. But I will let him know you’d like to speak with him soon.”
I clenched my jaw tight. Again, I knew this nurse’s hands were tied, but I couldn’t control the tension growing in me.
The nurse moved past me and spoke to Felicity in a hushed voice. I couldn’t make out what they were saying at first, so I stepped closer.
“If you need anything, darling, just push that button.”
She handed Felicity a small cup of water. Felicity pulled her hand free from under the blanket to grab it, and I noticed she was shivering.
“Can we get an extra blanket or two? She looks to be freezing.”
“I’m fine,” Felicity said.
The nurse looked at me, then at Felicity, then back to me. Maybe it was the look on my face, or perhaps she could see that Felicity was, indeed, cold. Whatever it was, it caused her to nod.
“More blankets, coming right up.”
The nurse left the room and Felicity glared at me. “You didn’t have to speak to her like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like-- well, you could have said please or thank you, or even asked me if I wanted another blanket before demanding one.”
I was glad to see she was in good enough spirits to argue with me. She was right. I could have been more polite with the nurse. “I’m just stressed. I’m worried and want answers now.”
“You think I don’t?”
I stared at her for a long time. Her chin was kicked out and she stared back at me with defiant eyes.
“Of course you do,” I said with a sigh, sitting down beside her. “I didn’t mean to insinuate that you didn’t.”
“Good. Just so we’re clear, I love these babies already, and if anything were to happen to them, I--”
Her voice cracked and she couldn’t finish the sentence. I couldn’t blame her. I reached for her hand, but she jerked it away.
The nurse returned with extra blankets. Felicity took them and thanked her, before covering herself up with a second one.
“The doctor should be in shortly,” the nurse said. “But he did want me to tell you to relax, everything looks fine.”
Both Felicity and I let out a breath at the same time.
“Thank you,” Felicity said.
The nurse left the room. Everything looked fine, but until I heard from the doctor, I wouldn’t fully relax.
A few minutes later, which felt like an eternity just the same, Dr. Lawton entered the room.
“Good evening,” he said, taking a seat in front of us. “How are you feeling, Felicity?”
“Worried about the babies, but otherwise I feel fine.”
“Good, good,” Dr. Lawton said, never taking his eyes from her file. “The bleeding has stopped, correct?”
“Yes, I haven’t noticed any since I got here. Just the one time at home.”
“MmmHmm, I see.”
I laced my fingers together and cracked my knuckles, staring straight at the doctor, waiting for him to say something of substance.
“Well, everything looks fine to me. I see no reason for concern,” he muttered, almost too softly to hear. He checked his w
atch.
“So why was I bleeding?” Felicity asked. “Isn’t all bleeding bad?”
“No, not all. I’d encourage you to go home and get some rest.” He closed the file and stood up from the chair, checking his watch again as he turned away from us.
“That’s it?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” the doctor asked, looking back at us.
“You don’t really know the cause of the problem, but you’re just going to send her home and hope for the best?”
Dr. Lawton finally managed to pull his head out of the file and look at me. Recognition set in right away. I’d seen him around at conferences and such. He was a younger doctor. Too young to have such a poor bedside manner. He didn’t even bother to look in Felicity’s eyes when talking to her.
“Dr. Hammond, as a medical professional, you should know that sometimes we don’t have all the answers. Sometimes bleeding just happens, most likely implantation related, and as long as there’s no concern for the babies or the mother, there’s very little I can do.”
“You know, it’s been years since I’ve worked in an emergency room, but back when I did - I always tried to put myself in the patient’s shoes. Sometimes we can’t give them answers or solutions, but you seem more concerned with grabbing lunch or clocking out for the night than answering any of her questions - like, how she asked why she was bleeding. You just skipped right over that one.”
“Because I don’t know.”
“Then at least have the balls to say that,” I said, pushing myself up to standing. Dr. Lawton didn’t say anything else, and I had nothing more to say to him. “Let me look over the test results.”
I reached out for the file, but Dr. Lawton looked over at Felicity.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said, holding the file tight.
“Felicity?” I asked, never taking my eyes off Dr. Lawton.
“Yes, hand it over to Abe, please.”