Needing Him

by Jeanne St. James

  “Do not move your hands. Separate your knees a little more. Not too much. That’s it. Right there.”

  And then he’s quiet... because his mouth is against my mound, pressing against my clit, his tongue plays with me, circling, flicking, stroking my sensitive nub. I struggle to remain still. To keep my hands and knees in place.

  I want to drop to my back, grab his head and hold him in place as he eats me until I come. With or without his permission.

  But I don’t. I play his game.

  I wait.

  His tongue, his mouth, then his fingers, draw me to the edge. I’m close to coming and I can’t. Not yet. I haven’t been told to come yet.

  I hope it’s soon.

  My nipples are hard and aching, my anus clenches, almost in need, and my pussy throbs as he tastes all of me, savors it, savors me.

  He groans against my swollen flesh and the vibrations make me whimper. I bite my lip to contain it.

  I’m on the edge of orgasm but he hasn’t told me to let go yet and I struggle to convince my body to behave. To wait.

  “Not yet,” he says, as if he can read my mind. But he can’t, he’s probably just reading me, my body. “Soon, but not yet.”

  He shifts and reaches for the items on the nightstand. Within seconds, I feel the cool gel of the lube against my heated flesh. It dribbles down the crack of my ass, and with his thumb, he massages it around the rim. More drips, more circles made. And then pressure.

  Not his mouth this time. No. A finger, long, strong, determined to take my virgin ass.

  Slowly, he works the digit to the first knuckle, past the tight ring. Then the second knuckle and I’m blown away by a sensation I’ve never felt before. One I never thought I’d ever want or need.

  But I want this. I need this. It’s like this man knows everything I need. Everything I crave.

  Then he’s moving inside me with a rhythm that could very well drive me mad. And when he buries his mouth against me again, sucking my flesh between his lips, his teeth, I almost scream “pineapple.” Because I can’t take any more and not climax.

  His torture is not allowing me to come. And I can’t ask him, I can’t beg.

  I’m not allowed.

  He must allow it.

  I need him to say it.

  But his mouth is full of my sex, my sensitive flesh, and he’s not saying anything.

  I want to give up.

  I want to scream for mercy.

  I’m done.

  I’m done.

  I’m done.

  “You may come,” he says so softly that I almost think I imagine it. And when his mouth finds me again and now two of his fingers fuck my ass, I no longer care if I’d imagined it.

  I let go.

  My mind spins. My body convulses.

  I clench around his fingers and a sound I’ve never heard before escapes me.

  A wail. A cry of release.

  Finally.

  And before the last of the orgasm ebbs away, he’s inside me. Taking me hard, deep, and rough, slamming his hips against my ass. The slapping of our skin, our ragged breathing, and sounds of ecstasy filling the small cabin.

  With one hand still working deep in my tight canal, his other grabs my hair again, pulling my head back roughly until my neck can bend no more.

  “That’s it, Grace. Ride my cock. Feel me deep inside you. That pussy’s mine. That ass is mine. Your mouth will soon be mine, too. You do not come until I tell you to. Tell me you hear me.”

  “Yes, Nick. Yes, I hear you.”

  “You fit me perfectly. Like you were made for me. Were you made for me, Grace?”

  “Yes. Only for you.”

  “Who do you belong to?”

  No hesitation. “You, Nick. I belong to you.”

  “Do you want to come?”

  “Yes,” I hiss. Because it’s true, even though I just came, I’m ready to come again. His words, his smooth like butter voice, turn me on like nothing ever before.

  It’s insane. But I love it.

  This is how I’m meant to be fucked. I’m not meant to be pushed off the cliff, I’m meant to be thrown.

  “Are you ready to come again?”

  “Yes,” I force myself to say, because thoughts are difficult, words even more so.

  “When I say ‘now,’ you will come.”

  His fingers curl inside me, stroking, and his cock slams me even harder, deeper until there’s nowhere else for it to go.

  He tenses, his body hiccups. Then he groans, “Now,” and I fall with him. Over the edge, into an endless space below. I can’t tell who is throbbing. Him, me, both of us.

  I only know one thing...

  This was the man I was made for.

  Him. And only him.

  Jesus. I feel like I’m losing myself. How could this man have become my everything in the matter of under an hour?

  “How long has it been?” he asks. His arm is curled around me, holding me tight against his side.

  We lay naked on top of the sheets, the seasonal chill drying the sweat from our bodies, cooling our heat. I shiver and he gives me a little squeeze.

  “Too long.” I should be embarrassed by my answer, but I’m not. I’ve got nothing to hide. “How long has it been for you?”

  “Too long,” he echoes me.

  His answer gives me some satisfaction. Especially since he chose to break his own dry spell with me. I press my cheek harder into his chest.

  A thought hits me, making me shift my eyes to his face. “Did you plan this?”

  “Yes.”

  A small smile curves my mouth. “So did I.”

  His wide-eyed gaze pins mine in surprise then he throws his head back and laughs. His laughter sounds deep and masculine and it makes me want to throw my arms around him and squeeze out whatever demons he has left.

  Because I think they’re still there. Lurking.

  I want to ask him about it, but the timing isn’t right. I’ve known him for a long time, but I really don’t know him at all. And I certainly don’t know him well enough to ask what haunts him.

  If he wants to tell me, I’ll listen.

  If not, I’ll respect that decision.

  But my curiosity about other things, more intimate things, gets the best of me. “I thought you were going to tie me up.”

  “I said restrain, Grace. Not tie you up.”

  I’m confused and he must read that in my expression.

  I love how observant he is. Like he said, communication consists of more than words.

  “You need to listen to my commands carefully. I will tell you once. If I need to tell you again, you’ll get punished. If you follow my commands, then you’ll get rewarded.”

  He piques my interest. “What kind of punishment?”

  His hand cups my jaw and his thumb brushes idly over my cheekbone. “You might like the punishment and push me to do so. You might not like the punishment, but if you don’t, I’ll make sure you’re taken care of afterward. Is that a deal?”

  “But you never said what kind of punishment.”

  “Test me and see.”

  He’s not threatening, instead he’s challenging me.

  I’ve always loved a good challenge. They help push away the boredom, help pass the time in a place where monotony and the slow movement of the clock rule my days.

  My attention slides down his body, down his belly to his groin. His cock, spent from our actions not long before, lays quiet, soft amongst trimmed, dark hair. My fingers follow my gaze, but skip his dick, and instead, I cup his warm, full sac in my palm. I feel its weight and squeeze slightly.

  His thighs tense. Maybe because he knows that if I clasp him any harder, it will become painful. I roll his balls along my fingers. I’m tempted to take him right now into my mouth. When he’s soft like this, I’ll be able to take him fully.

  My body automatically moves, slides down his, and I settle between his legs, which he spreads farther to accommodate me.

  I press a
kiss to the spot where his root meets his sac, then I suck him into my mouth.

  He stays soft long enough so that I can swirl my tongue around him, tasting him fully. And then he begins to grow, to lengthen, to harden. I circle two fingers around the base and squeeze, my teeth scrape along the crown, my lips suck along his length.

  His fingers slide into my hair, curl, and pull so hard my scalp begins to burn. But I continue my machinations of coaxing him into an erection, even so soon after his release.

  “I didn’t give you permission to do that,” he says firmly, but his voice isn’t as powerful as he’d like, I’m sure. My mouth weakens his reserve, his power. The harder he tugs, the harder I suck, lick, scrape.

  “Grace,” he warns.

  I don’t care. For the moment, I want to disobey. I want to challenge him. To discover what punishments he will mete out when I’m obstinate, when I don’t follow his rules.

  “You will get the tawse,” he warns again, his fingers clenching and unclenching in my hair, though not relenting on the pull of my scalp.

  Once again, I don’t care, since I’m ready to take whatever punishment he sees fit. Though, I have no idea what a tawse is. It sounds medieval. Wicked.

  Maybe I should be worried. But I’m not.

  While in this cabin, I am his and he can do to me what he likes.

  Chapter Five

  NIck

  She’s relentless with her mouth. I fight to not groan and thrust deeper, harder.

  I am supposed to be the one in control. Not her.

  This cabin is my domain. For as long as I’m here.

  She is to be mine. For as long as I’m here.

  I can’t lose control so quickly.

  My threat about using the tawse on her does no good, and that excites me. I was planning to use it anyway and now I have a good excuse.

  My cock hardens even more when I anticipate showing her what a tawse is and how it will be used.

  I decide right then and there, what she’s doing is unacceptable. Not allowed.

  Because I haven’t given her permission.

  Letting her hair go, I snag her wrists instead. I sit up and tell her firmly, “Release me.”

  She does. I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am.

  Her lips are shiny and her eyes unfocused. She enjoys taking me in her mouth. She’s probably wet and ready from giving me pleasure.

  But I’m not pleased with her disobeying me and must teach her a lesson.

  “On your knees in the middle of the room.” The tawse will have to wait. When she doesn’t move fast enough, I assist her by pulling her wrists and taking her to where I want her. She drops to her knees before me in the center of the room and looks up at me silently, calmly.

  Her eyes aren’t subdued; they snap with excitement. Though, she keeps her expression blank, unreadable.

  “Cross your ankles, hands behind your back, your wrists crossed, also.”

  With only a slight hesitation, she does as I say. “That’s it. Like that. You do not move no matter what. If you move, you only add to your punishment. Tell me you understand.”

  “I understand.”

  I cup her jaw in my palm and tilt her head higher, studying her. I smile. “Good. You took it upon yourself to take me into your mouth without permission. Is that correct?”

  “Yes.”

  “Yes what?”

  “Yes, Nick.” A shudder runs through her. Her nipples bead to the point of hard pebbles. I want to suck them into my mouth, score them with my teeth.

  But I, and she, will have to wait.

  Right now punishment, then comes reward.

  I flick both nipples with my fingers and her body jerks back slightly, but her eyes never leave mine. They don’t even flinch.

  Fuck, she is perfect.

  I’ve met my challenge, my match. She’s it.

  If she takes everything I give her today, tonight, and beyond, I may never want to leave.

  And what I’m about to give her is what she wanted but not in the way she expected.

  I slide a thumb between her lips and open her mouth, then step forward. “This is my mouth. Keep it open. I think you forgot yourself and thought it was yours. You need a little reminder.”

  Raking my fingers through her hair, I grip her head and as I pull her toward me, I thrust into her mouth, her lips automatically close around me. And she’s not the only one who needs a reminder.

  I do, too.

  Her mouth is warm, wet, and as her tongue slides along my hard length, I feel my knees start to buckle. I gather my wits and tighten the muscles of my legs, keeping me on my feet.

  “Suck me harder,” I demand, and she does, her cheeks hollowing out. I hold myself still and let her control the rhythm for a moment. But only a moment. Because this is for my pleasure, not hers.

  “With your mouth full, you can’t say your word. But after your punishment, comes the reward. Don’t forget that while you do as I tell you. But if you must relent, then uncross your ankles. I will take that as a sign you’re unable to finish your punishment and are willing to give up your reward.”

  My fingers curl into fists and I still her movement. I begin to move instead. I control the rhythm. Now it’s up to me how deep I go, how fast, how long.

  She struggles slightly as I push deeper, push her farther, probably farther than she’s ever gone. But she keeps her ankles crossed, her hands behind her back.

  She groans around me and doesn’t whimper. So I go even deeper, and her eyes find mine again as if she’s telling me she’s up for any challenge I give her.

  So I push her even more.

  My eyes drop from hers to her ankles, which remain crossed, then they flick back to her mouth which is stretched but still closed tightly around my length. Her face has become flushed, and her eyelids have closed.

  As I bump the back of her throat, I feel it convulse then relax once again. Christ, she pleases me. She’s almost taking my whole length, but not quite.

  I slow the roll of my hips and push slowly forward, going as deep as possibly allowed. Her lips circle the root of my cock and she’s struggling to breathe. With two fistfuls of her hair, I hold her head still.

  “Look at me.”

  Her eyes are shiny when she opens them, but she does as I ask. I check one more time, her ankles remain in place. I’m relieved at her willingness to do what I tell her.

  A tear escapes the corner of her eye. Not because she’s upset, but because I’m so deep inside her mouth, she can’t control it.

  I release one hand from her hair and brush the lone tear away. I back off slightly, letting her breathe easier, then trace her stretched lips with my thumb.

  “So beautiful, Grace. This is what you wanted, but it had to be on my terms.” I tilt my hips forward again, giving her all of me once more. I go slow because I don’t want to hurt her.

  She’s too precious to me. She has given me herself like a gift, and I must take care of her like she is one. I must take care of what’s mine.

  And in turn, she will take care of me.

  Just watching her take me fully makes my balls tighten, my dick harden even more. I’m there at the point of no return again. This time I will release down her throat. Give her a part of me.

  I pull back and then tilt my hips forward once more and close my eyes as I spill inside her, along her tongue, down the back of her throat. She groans and her eyes never leave mine. But I see satisfaction there. It’s unmistakable.

  She enjoyed what I gave her and I enjoyed giving it to her.

  When my cock stops throbbing, I pull from between her lips and tell her, “Lick the head clean.”

  I give her a smile when she does. When she’s finished, she smiles up at me.

  “Speak freely,” I say, stroking a thumb along her jaw.

  “May I stand?”

  “Not yet. But you may uncross your ankles and drop your arms.”

  She does so with a relieved sigh. Her muscles most likely ache from h
olding that position.

  “Did you enjoy that, Grace?”

  “Very much.”

  “Let me take care of you.”

  I see her eyes widen for a split second at my words, then she quickly schools her face. “I would like that very much, as well.”

  Chapter Six

  Grace

  I took care of him. Then he took care of me. After taking Maggie outside for a break, he had me sit at the small table in the cabin while he fed me a muffin and he ate the other. Then in the small kitchenette, he cooked us a large cheese and vegetable omelet from the items he brought along in a cooler. He placed it on one plate and used one fork. One bite for me, one bite for him, alternating feeding us both until the plate was clean.

  Once finished, he wiped my mouth gently with a napkin. I didn’t have to lift a finger. Before I could push away from the table, he rose and came around, massaging my shoulders, my neck, my arms since they were a little sore from holding them pinned behind me.

  He did this all while murmuring compliments in my ears. He called me lovely, beautiful, gorgeous, and more. Descriptions I’ve never been called before. I don’t know if any of them are true, but as long as Nick believes those things, that’s all that matters.

  At first, I figured this was my reward. My recompense for accepting my punishment.

  But it wasn’t.

  I found out later that this is just Nick being Nick. Open. Kind. Caring. No sign of anything dark or haunting. He seems to appreciate me and my willingness to play with him.

  Afterward, he took my hand gently and led me to the bed, me on my side and him curling himself around me. As we laid quietly, I listened to his steady breathing until I fell asleep.

  Hot lightening shoots down my belly and lands in the apex of my thighs. Another pull at my nipple brings me to consciousness and I blink up at the ceiling until I realize where I am. In the cabin. With Nick.

  A relieved sigh escapes me.

  I thought maybe this all had been a dream. But it isn’t. He has one of my nipples sucked deep into his mouth and his eyes are on mine. He smiles around my nipple and then sinks his teeth into the soft flesh.