A Hilarious and Charming Feel-Good Read
Page 1
Also by Saranna DeWylde
How to Lose a Demon in 10 Days
How to Marry an Angel in 10 Days
How to Seduce a Warlock in 10 Days
FAIRY GODMOTHERS, INC.
Saranna DeWylde
ZEBRA BOOKS
Kensington Publishing Corp.
www.kensingtonbooks.com
All copyrighted material within is Attributor Protected.
Table of Contents
Also by
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
PROLOGUE
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
JUST A SMIDGE MORE MEDDLING
Teaser chapter
ZEBRA BOOKS are published by
Kensington Publishing Corp.
119 West 40th Street
New York, NY 10018
Copyright © 2021 by Sara Lunsford
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
To the extent that the image or images on the cover of this book depict a person or persons, such person or persons are merely models, and are not intended to portray any character or characters featured in the book.
Zebra and the Z logo Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.
First Zebra Trade Printing: January 2021
ISBN: 978-1-4201-5314-9
ISBN-13: 978-1-4201-5317-0 (ebook)
ISBN-10: 1-4201-5317-X (ebook)
For the bit of fairy godmother in each of us . . .
PROLOGUE
Petunia “Petty” Blossom happened to have an extra gleam in her twinkling eyes on that particular morning. Much to her sisters’ chagrin.
First, spring had come to Ever After, Missouri (they only had winter in December), and the fairy godmother sisters had set about their duties bringing the town to lush and vibrant life. To any nonmagical person on the outside looking in, the sisters looked like a trio of kindly grandmother types who had run slightly wild in their youth, but who now baked cookies, enjoyed gardening, and collected cats.
The sun was high in the clear blue sky, and fat birds singing their songs of young love dotted their unfortunately naked cherry tree. Several squirrels waited patiently, clasping their tiny little paws together as they looked back and forth between the fairies and the tree. Petty hoped she wouldn’t have to disappoint them.
“I don’t know what you’re smiling about, Pets. We’re all going to hell in a rather thorny handbasket.” Bluebonnet sighed and slapped her wand against her hand as she tried, and failed, for the fourth consecutive time to bring a bloom to the cherry tree that dominated the backyard of their gingerbread-style cottage.
“Decidedly cherry-free, I might add.” Jonquil crossed her arms over her chest and scowled.
The scents of magic and their herb garden flooded her awareness and she grounded herself in the moment. She allowed herself to feel the magic of the green grass and rich, loamy earth beneath their cedar deck, and she recalled childhood memories of her sisters.
When they first got their wings.
Their first wands.
Learning to be magical.
And she filled herself with all the love she could summon.
Love for her magic, for her darling charges, and, of course, for her sisters. Petty bumped her ample hip into Bluebonnet’s and a zing of magic crackled from the wand and produced exactly one perfect bloom.
“How did you do that?” Bluebonnet frowned.
“Stop frowning, Bon-Bon. It’ll give you wrinkles,” Jonquil said.
“You’ve already got wrinkles.” Bluebonnet stuck her tongue out at her sister, but then quickly checked her compact to see if she had, in fact, developed the ever-dreaded wrinkles.
“So what? I’m not afraid of my age. I just know how terrified you are.” Jonquil returned the rude gesture.
“Sisters. You know, we could argue until kingdom come, which is going to be soon if we don’t do something. Or, we could get to the talking about how I brought a bloom to our sad, little tree.” Petty pushed her glasses up on the end of her nose. They were more a fashion statement than anything, but she liked the effect.
“Yes, fine. Let’s get to that.” Bon-Bon rattled her wand again and then looked around. “Oh dear, I hope the neighbors didn’t see.”
“Stop shaking the poor dear. You’re going to give him motion sickness,” Jonquil said.
“I am not.”
“Yes, you are. If you’d just—” Jonquil reached for the wand.
Bluebonnet was not about to have any of that nonsense. She jerked the wand away, but it slipped out of her grasp and when it hit the cedar planks of their deck, it shattered into toothpicks.
“Look what you did!” Bluebonnet cried.
Petty could see that things were about to go decidedly south, and that wasn’t something they had time for.
“Love!” Petty shrieked.
Both of her sisters turned to look at her.
“Excuse me, what?” Jonquil asked as she tucked her silver-white hair behind her ear.
“Yeah, what?” Bluebonnet added. “Love?”
Petty nodded. “Yes, exactly. That’s our answer.”
Jonquil sagged down into a deck chair, unmindful of the dirt now on her bright-yellow dress. “We can’t even bring spring to Ever After. How is love our answer?”
“It’s the problem and the solution,” Petty continued. “The world is running out of love. That’s why we’re running out of magic.”
“That sounds like hippie woo-woo to me.” Bluebonnet wrinkled her nose and leaned against the cottage door.
“We’re fairy godmothers, but the magic of love is hippie woo-woo? This is why we’re going extinct. Honestly.” Petty shook her head. “No, seriously. I’m telling you that’s how I made your magic work. I thought about how much I love you.”
“And you only got one bloom?” Jonquil cackled.
Petty narrowed her eyes. “It was the best I could do because we’re all low. So much strife, hardship, and fear. Those things both drain love and make it stronger. For us, I fear it’s drained our compassion, our empathy, and yes, our love.”
“So what do we do?” Bluebonnet bent over to pick up the toothpicks and tried to reassemble them in a way that represented her poor little murdered wand.
“The answer has been right in front of our noses for the longest time. Look at where we live. It could be the premier wedding destination.” Excitement lit Petty with an ethereal glow.
“I hate to break it to you, sister dear, but Nowhere, Missouri, is never going to be a premier wedding destination. Have you been smoking the wormwood?” Jonquil scru
tinized her sister for any signs of being in a chemically altered state.
Petty huffed. “Nowhere is in Arizona. I got my picture by the sign. See?” She whipped out a picture of her standing by a sign in the middle of the desert and one run-down, vandalized building that might’ve, at one time, been a gas station. “We live in Ever After.”
The picture disappeared into the nothingness from whence Petty plucked it.
“Humans don’t normally come to Ever After. There’s a reason we’re not on any maps,” Bluebonnet said.
“Well, we’re just going to have to change that, and I know just how to start,” Petty began.
“We’re all ears,” Jonquil replied, and began working her bare fingers in the dirt of the flowerpots that sat waiting for her attention.
“With Lucky and Ransom,” Petty said. “They both owe us favors.”
Bluebonnet made a face. “Oh no. No. No. That’s an awful idea. Don’t you remember what happened the last time we meddled in their lives?”
“I know. Whatever. They’re adults now. I’m sure they’ve forgotten . . .”
No. Everyone present knew there was no way anyone had forgotten.
Petty cleared her throat and continued. “This is also our chance to try to help Lucky with her unlucky. Regardless of what that could do for the town wells, and our magic, isn’t that our job? We’re their fairy godmothers. They’ve withstood the trials. They’ve battled through the long night. It’s time they get their Happily Ever After. They’ve earned it.”
Jonquil gave a heavy sigh. “Well, you know we can only meddle so much. They have to make the choices themselves. You can lead a prince to his princess, but you can’t make them kiss.”
“Oh yes, we can. That’s what poppets are for. But that’s neither here nor there.” Petty straightened her apron. “Are you in?”
“If we can convince the town, it might be worth a shot.” Bluebonnet looked out at the magical, lone bloom on their cherry tree.
“I just don’t buy it.” Jonquil shook her head.
“You know with fairy dust, you have to believe. That’s the magic.” Petty tapped her foot with obvious impatience.
“I thought it was love.” Jonquil snorted.
Petty stopped mid–foot tap and her eyes narrowed. “Jonquil, so help me . . .”
“Fine. Fine. Fine. I believe.” She coughed. “I guess. Whatever.”
“Good. Sisters, get out your best meddling outfits. I’m going to call a meeting with the town council. We’re about to put Ever After on the map!”
Chapter 1
Lucky Fujiki had always hated her name.
Whenever she had too much time by herself, like now, waiting at the park for her partner-in-crime and ride-or-die bestie to drop her kids off at school, she thought about it.
Lucky tried to focus on the ducks flapping in the melting pond, the first blooms of spring on the trees, which were pushing forward much too early by the way, and the landscaped grounds.
Nope. No chance. Because if she stared at the ducks too long, they’d get agitated. Or the tree would get struck by lightning. Or the grounds . . . well . . . who knew, really?
She hated her name so much.
Not the Fujiki, she was more than good with that one.
Lucky. What the hell? That was just asking for trouble.
Why couldn’t her mother have named her something traditional like Akira, or Keiko, or even Tatsuo? She had a friend named Keiko who was very successful.
The world didn’t fall apart at the seams whenever Keiko walked by.
That was all Lucky wanted, to be able to move through the world without the fabric of the universe coming undone.
Of course, there was an ancient Japanese proverb that fit her situation nicely: “Shit in one hand and want in the other, and see which one fills up first.”
No, on second thought, that wasn’t Japanese. It was a universal truth. Really, she could want and wish as hard as she could and it wouldn’t change her situation. Although, her mother would argue that point endlessly.
She hated her nickname, too. “Un-Lucky.” Yay her.
Her mother, of course, had told her it would pass, but what did she know? Her name was Fortune, and she’d lived up to it with no problem at all.
Lucky. She spat on the ground.
“Whoa! Friendly fire!”
Lucky looked up to see her best friend, Gwen Borders, holding out a cup of coffee. From the looks of it, a mocha chip caramel latte, hopefully with a shot of blond espresso. And whipped cream with a hearty dusting of cinnamon.
She needed a lot of sugar and caffeine to maintain.
“Sorry, Gwen. Thanks for the fortification.” She accepted the cup gratefully.
“Bemoaning your name again, huh?” Gwen sat down next to her on the park bench.
“Like I do every day.”
Gwen took a drink of her coffee and sighed happily. “I talked to the woman who does my tarot cards about your problem. She said that you’re out of alignment with the universe. So if you could just figure out what’s causing the misalignment, you’ll be good as gold.”
Lucky wrinkled her nose. “What does that even mean?”
Gwen shrugged. “Hell if I know. I just give the woman money. Maybe you should go see her? I could book you some sessions. Then you can ask your questions.”
“You’ve got kids who are going to need a college fund. You don’t need to be spending your money on me and my problems. Especially not on some ‘hippie woo-woo,’ as my godmother likes to say.”
Gwen grinned. “It is absolutely my pleasure to spend all of Jake’s money on frivolous and stupid things. Plus, I get cash every time I pay with his card. It gives me an excuse to take out more money for my little nest egg.”
Lucky scowled. “You know, if it wouldn’t affect you and the monsters, I’d go give him a daily dose of bad luck.” She turned to look at her friend. “I really don’t know how you and the kids are immune to my bad vibes. I’m grateful, but I wish I knew how it worked.”
“So you’d only inflict it on people who deserve it?”
“Yep.” Lucky took another sip of her coffee and luxuriated in the sweet warmth on her tongue.
“Oh, don’t look now, but there’s PTA Nancy.”
Lucky looked around the park and saw a woman go into Gaston’s Tea Shop across the street.
PTA Nancy had been making Gwen’s life miserable, and to be honest, poor Gwen already had enough misery on her plate.
“You know, I think I need to buy some tea for my godmothers.” Lucky stood.
Gwen flashed a half grin. “We shouldn’t. I mean . . .”
“Oh, but we should. She’s awful.”
“Do you think this is considered using your powers for good?” Gwen asked.
“Probably not. I think it’s a good cause, though.” With that, Lucky marched with purpose toward the tea shop, and Gwen followed close behind.
“Really, I need to send them a little something. I got a care package last week of cookies. Petty’s peanut butter chocolate chip, Jonquil’s raspberry windmills, and Bluebonnet’s pumpkin cranberry cookies.” Lucky stopped to pull a small baggie out of her purse with two of each cookie inside and handed it to Gwen. “Almost forgot.”
“Your godmothers are the best. They definitely deserve tea.” Gwen nodded as she stuffed a cookie in her mouth.
They went inside Gaston’s Tea Shop and immediately, Lucky was drawn to a fat ladybug teapot. That was definitely going to Petty because she was round, happy, and mostly good luck, too.
“Ope!” Gwen cried, and grabbed her wrist as she reached for it.
When Lucky looked down, she saw that her sleeve had caught on the edge of the glass shelving. One more move and she’d have murdered the display. Gwen untangled her, and Lucky grabbed the teapot.
“Thanks,” she murmured.
“Lucky I was here, huh?” Gwen grinned.
“You think you’re funny.” She hugged the teapot to her chest.
“I know I’m funny. I’m a freaking delight.”
“Gwen Borders, is that you?”
Lucky knew without turning to look that the woman speaking was PTA Nancy.
Gwen’s face contorted into a fake smile. “Nancy. Nice to see you.”
“Is it, though? I had the feeling you’d been avoiding me after you saw me having dinner with Jake. . . .”
Lucky had to fight the urge not to swivel her head around on her shoulders like an owl.
“Since we haven’t spoken since then.”
Gwen waved her off. “You know how it goes. I’ve just been busy. I’m glad Jake wants to help with the Spring Sock Hop. The kids will be so happy he’ll be able to chaperone. He never gets to attend these things. He’s always so busy.”
Gwen hadn’t told Lucky about this.
And maybe Jake had just been discussing the dance, but Lucky had a sense for when people were lying, and that story reeked like hot garbage.
“Ah yes, well, he . . . uh . . .” Nancy coughed. “Volunteered you to bake all the snacks. We were hoping for allergy-free. Can you do vegan, gluten-free, nut-free chocolate chip cookies? That way everyone is covered? We’ll need about three hundred.” Nancy smiled.
“Of course. It’s not a problem.” Gwen’s smile was real this time, and Lucky knew it was because she loved baking, and a challenge. Gwen had grown up in a place where they didn’t have a PTA, didn’t have Spring Sock Hops, and she definitely hadn’t had a mother who baked cookies.
“Anything for our little darlings, right?” Nancy smiled back.
Lucky wanted to puke.
For a hot minute, she considered it. Everyone in town was used to her mishaps and if she happened to spew Technicolor glory all over PTA Nancy, no one would know it had been on purpose.
Of course, that would mean giving up the delicious coffee she just snarfed and Lucky was not about that life.