Leaving Cloud 9

by Ericka Andersen

  To my parents, who have been the biggest supporters of my writing and my dreams my entire life. They never doubted I would and could become a published author—and, besides Rick, were the first people I called when I got the book deal. They made me who I am and I am forever grateful.

  I want to thank my extended family—all my incredibly supportive aunts and my sisters, who are my biggest cheerleaders. It is an incredible blessing to feel like you have an entire team of people who are just as excited as you are about a dream being fulfilled. They have never failed to humble me with their unending support and encouragement.

  I must say thank you to Nancy French, who so graciously offered to introduce me to her book agent when I mentioned I had a book in the making. I’m not sure how I was going to pursue an agent otherwise and her offer to help me in this way is what got this entire ball rolling. Thank you for trusting me and believing in my idea enough to make the introduction. And to my agent, D. J. Snell, who believed in the book enough to take me on as a client. The day he said he wanted to represent me was just as good as getting a book deal to me—or so it felt then.

  A huge thank you to the team at Thomas Nelson who thought this story was worth telling and took me on as a part of their team. My editors, Jenny and Janene, helped shape the book in a way I never could have— and I’m so grateful for the time they spent in helping to get details and time lines all in order.

  Thank you to National Community Church and Pastor Mark Batterson for leading us as church members for many years and being the light and life Rick needed after abandoning church and God for so long.

  Thanks to my friend Priscilla Johnson, a mental health therapist, who helped me find the information I needed about mental illness—and answered multiple questions about things in this book on that topic.

  I also have to say thank you to the writer Elizabeth Gilbert, whom I have never met but who inspired me to complete this book. She taught me not to make perfect the enemy of the good. She convinced me that finished is better than incomplete—and helped me see that it didn’t matter if no one but Rick and I ever read this book . . . it deserved to be completed and it was my privilege to make it so. I would never have found the determination and hours it took to make it happen without her guidance.

  Thanks to my best friend, Michelle Cordero, who has listened to me rattle on about this book for years and never complained once. She has always been one of my biggest supporters and encouragers and never doubted I could see this dream come true.

  There have been so many friends, colleagues, and acquaintances along the way who have shown such incredible encouragement. Please know that each and every bit of it is appreciated.

  Lastly, but most importantly, I thank my Savior, Jesus Christ. This beautiful story of grace, redemption, and healing would not exist without Him and the miracle He performed in Rick’s heart. Rick has been set free because of Him. Our love story and our children were written into existence by God alone. This book only exists because He wanted it to and I felt Him moving it forward every step of the way. There is no other way to explain it. Thank you, Lord, for this beautiful life.

  NOTES

  Chapter 1: In the Beginning

  1.Alice Bice, “Poverty Rates in Arizona Still Among Nation’s Highest,” azcentral.com, September 16, 2016, https://www.azcentral.com/story/money/business/economy/2016/09/16/poverty-rates-arizona-still-among-nations-highest/90495336/.

  2.Jennifer Pullen, Southern Arizona Cites Poverty Report, MAP: Making Action Possible for Southern Arizona (website), July 17, 2015, https://mapazdashboard.arizona.edu/article/southernarizona-cites-poverty-report.

  3.Charles Murray, Coming Apart: The State of White America, 1960−2010 (New York: Crown Forum, 2012), 100−101.

  4.J. D. Vance, Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis (New York: HarperCollins, 2016).

  5.J. D. Vance, quoted in Kelsey Dallas, “God Plays an Important Role in Hillbilly Country, but Not in the Way You’d Expect,” Deseret News, September 3, 2016, https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865661581/God-plays-an-important-role-in-hillbilly-country-but-not-in-the-way-youd-expect.html.

  6.Cathy Lynn Grossman, “Highly Religious People Say They’re Happier, Too, Survey Finds,” Religious News Service (website), https://religionnews.com/2016/04/12/happiness-christians-nones-pew-research/.

  Chapter 3: The Father He Never Knew

  1.“Attendance at Religious Services among Adults in Colorado,” graph depicted on “Religious Landscape Study: Adults in Colorado,” Pew Research Center: Religion in Public Life (website), accessed January 17,2017, http://www.pewforum.org/religious-landscape-study/state/colorado/. http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/02/29/how-religious-is-your-state/?state=Colorado.

  2.Transcribed from “Have You Exorcized a Demon?” video interview, 7.5 minutes, included with Jonathan Parnell, “Piper on Healing and Exorcism,” Desiring God (website), January 18, 2013, https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/piper-on-healing-and-exorcism.

  Chapter 5: Starving for Relationship

  1.Robert Rector, “Married Fathers: America’s Greatest Weapon Against Child Poverty,” The Heritage Foundation (website), June 16, 2010, https://www.heritage.org/welfare/report/married-fathers-americas-greatest-weapon-against-child-poverty.

  2.Victor Tan Chen, “All Hollowed Out: The Lonely Poverty of America’s White Working Class,” Atlantic, January 16, 2016, https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/01/white-working-class-poverty/424341/.

  3.Danielle Kurtzleben, “The Fastest-Growing (and Fastest-Shrinking) Cities in America,” U.S. News & World Report, May 23, 2013, https://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2013/05/23/the-fastest-growing-and-fastest-shrinking-cities-in-america.

  4.J. J. Feinauer, “What’s to Blame for Low-Income Divorce Rates?” Deseret News, May 4, 2015, https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865627941/Whats-to-blame-for-low-income-divorce-rates.html.

  5.Koa Beck, “Debunking Financial Divorce Myths,” Daily Worth (website), November 9, 2015, https://www.dailyworth.com/posts/3972-debunking-financial-divorce-myths.

  6.Weslie Swift, “Divorce Rates High in Arizona, According to Study,” ABC 15 Arizona (website), November 5, 2013, https://www.abc15.com/news/state/divorce-rates-high-in-arizona-according-to-study.

  7.Jefferson Bethke, “Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus,” video, 4:03, January 10, 2012, YouTube, https://www.youtube.com/wat,ch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY.

  Chapter 7: Aurora, Colorado

  1.Jennifer Brown, “Trying to Live, Trying to Learn, Part 1: No Other Place to God,” Denver Post Special Report, August 20, 2014, extras.denverpost.com/homelessstudents/index.html.

  2.Perry Firth, “Homelessness and Academic Achievement: The Impact of Childhood Stress on School Performance,” Firesteel (blog), September 8, 2014, http://firesteelwa.org/2014/09/homelessness-and-academic-achievement-the-impact-of-childhood-stress-on-school-performance/.

  Chapter 8: Kinship Care

  1.“Child Protective Services,” Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia, last modified December 20, 2107, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Protective_Services.

  2.Ibid.

  3.Generations United, “Raising the Children of the Opioid Epidemic: Solutions and Support for Grandfamilies” (online report, 2016), 2, https://dl2.pushbulletusercontent.com/qdCNUO2JMMZKzKRjyIlwbgjMtf39xkKa/16-Report-SOGF-Final.pdf.

  4.Generations United, “Raising the Children,” 13.

  Chapter 9: Battle Buddies

  1.NPR/TED staff, “Nadine Burke Harris: How Does Trauma Affect a Child’s DNA?” (overview of TED Radio Hour episode, “Hardwired”), NPR (website), August 25, 2017, https://www.npr.org/2017/08/25/545092982/nadine-burke-harris-how-does-trauma-affect-a-childs-dna.

  2.“Adverse Childhood Experiences,” SAMHSA: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (website), updated September 5, 2017, https://www.samhsa.gov/capt/practicing-effective-prevention/prevention-behavioral-health/adverse-childhood-experiences.

  3.Ibid.

 
; 4.Louie Giglio, Goliath Must Fall: Winning the Battle against Your Giants (Nashville: W Pub. Group/Thomas Nelson, 2017), 57.

  Chapter 10: Privileged?

  1.Charles Murray, Coming Apart: The State of White America, 1960−2010, (New York: Crown Forum/Random House, 2012), 273.

  2.Bill Gates, “From Coal Country to Yale,” GatesNotes (blog), May 22, 2017, https://www.gatesnotes.com/Books/Hillbilly-Elegy.

  3.David French, The Crisis of America’s Working Class Is More Spiritual than Material,” National Review, April 11, 2016, http://www.nationalreview.com/article/433920/white-working-class-deaths-crisis-more-spiritual-material.

  Chapter 12: The Villain

  1.“Effects of Complex Trauma,” NCTSN: The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (website), accessed January 30, 2018, http://www.nctsn.org/trauma-types/complex-trauma/effects-of-complex-trauma#top/.

  2.Erin Digitale, “Traumatic Stress Changes Brains of Boys, Girls Differently,” Stanford Medicine News Center (website), November 11, 2016, https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2016/11/traumatic-stress-changes-brains-of-boys-girls-differently.html.

  3.“10 Startling Statistics about Children of Domestic Violence,” Childhood Domestic Violence Association (website), February 21, 2014, https://cdv.org/2014/02/10-startling-domestic-violence-statistics-for-children/.

  Chapter 13: When She Was Alone

  1.Bridget Freisthler, Michelle Johnson-Motoyama, and Nancy J. Kepple, “Inadequate Child Supervision: The Role of Alcohol Outlet Density, Parent Drinking Behaviors, and Social Support” (unedited ms. submitted for publication), PubMed Central, US National Library of Medicine, National Institute of Health (website), available August 1, 2015, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4104369/. Note: This article was published in final edited form in Child Youth Services Review 43 (August 1, 2014):75–84 and was published online May 10, 2014, doi: 10.1016/j.childyouth.2014.015.002.

  2.Colin Fernandez, “You May Think You’re Grown Up at 18, but Our Brains Don’t Fully Mature Until after We Hit 30,” Daily Mail, 21 December 2016, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-4055490/You-think-grown-18-brains-don-t-fully-mature-hit-30.html.

  Chapter 18: The Molding of a Man

  1.“Drug Facts: Understanding Drug Use and Addiction,” National Institute on Drug Abuse, National Institute of Health, revised August 2016, https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugfacts/understanding-drug-use-addiction.

  Chapter 20: In the Army Now

  1.John R. Blosnich, Melissa E. Dichter, et al., ““Disparities in Adverse Childhood Experiences among Individuals with a History of Military Service,” JAMA Psychiatry 71, no. 9 (September 2014): 1041-1048, https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2014.724.

  2. Ibid.

  3.Jon Krakauer, Where Men Win Glory: The Odyssey of Pat Tillman (New York: Doubleday/Random House, 2009), 145−146.

  Chapter 23: Shredded

  1.Markham Reid, “Why Men Have More Body Image Issues Than Ever,” Time, January 5, 2017, http://time.com/4622653/men-body-image-muscle-steroids/.

  2.“Muscle Dysmorphic Disorder (Bigorexia),” ANRED: Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating Disorders (website), accessed February 1, 2018, https://www.anred.com/musdys.html.

  3.Blaise Pascal, Pensées, tr. A. J. Krailsheimer, rev. ed. (London: Penguin Classics, 1995), 10:148 (p. 45). Note: This Christian classic was first published in 1670, eight years after Pascal’s death. The Krailsheimer translation was first published in 1966.

  Chapter 29: The Defining Diagnosis

  1.Jim Phelps, “Chapter 1: The Genetic Basis of Bipolar Disorder,” PsychEducation.org: Treating the Mood Spectrum, updated December 2014, http://psycheducation.org/the-biologic-basis-of-bipolar-disorder/chapter-1-the-genetic-basis-of-bipolar-disorder/.

  Chapter 31: Almost There

  1.Mark Batterson, The Circle Maker: Praying Circles around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2011), 65.

  Chapter 39: The Family He Never Knew

  1.Antwone Quenton Fisher, Finding Fish: A Memoir, reprint ed. (New York: Harper Perennial, 2001).

  2.Antwone Fisher, screenplay by Antwone Fisher, directed by Denzel Washington, released 2002, DVD (Century City, CA: Fox Searchlight, 2011).

  Chapter 40: How He Got Here

  1.Natan Gesher, “So far it’s taken approximately 1,009,491 days to build Rome. This is based on the traditional founding of the city (21 April 753 BCE), but we should also consider . . . ,” response to question, “How many days did it take to build Rome,” Quora, July 28, 2012, https://www.quora.com/How-many-days-did-it-take-to-build-Rome.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Ericka Andersen is a freelance writer who also serves as the digital marketing director at the Independent Women’s Forum and as a consultant for The Steamboat Institute. She previously wrote for and was the digital director at National Review magazine. Before that, Ericka was the digital manager at the Heritage Foundation and worked in communications for Vice President Mike Pence at the GOP conference. She attended Indiana University. She lives in Indianapolis, Indiana, with her husband and children.