No Holding Back

by Lori Foster

  It was a hard ride, one she encouraged however she could. Keeping him locked to her, she bit his shoulder, licked the spot, then sucked on his hot skin as another climax rocked her.

  Grinding into her, Cade put his face to her neck and growled out a long, harsh release.

  Huh. Hearing other guys come hadn’t moved her at all. But Cade? She wanted to cuddle him—and how nuts was that? You didn’t cuddle a tiger, right? But she couldn’t let him go, couldn’t stop putting soft kisses along his shoulder, couldn’t stop stroking his hot skin.

  It was a good ten minutes before she moved, and even then, her limbs felt sluggish and uncooperative. Yes, her leg throbbed like a son of a bitch, but it was worth it.

  “Good going,” she whispered in a teasing grumble as she tried to adjust. “How am I supposed to deal with Adela or Mattox when my muscles have turned to noodles?”

  An utter stillness settled over him, replaced seconds later by determination as he levered up, bracing his arms on either side of her shoulders. “You let me help.”

  He surrounded her with his size, his scent, his iron will. Didn’t bother her at all. “Your muscles aren’t limp?”

  “I’ll recover. Quickly.” He pressed a firm kiss to her mouth. “This, what we just did, was a commitment.”

  What? No way. “Who says so?”

  “I say so.” Far too serious, his intense gaze drilled into her. “You’re strong, Star. Strong enough to share the burden without worrying that I’ll take over. I won’t, you know.”

  She snorted at that. “You already are.”

  “No, babe. I want to share the plans, the setup and the risk. I’m guessing you don’t know this yet, but it’s easier that way.”

  “What’s easier?”

  His expression softened. “Everything.” With extreme gentleness he smoothed back her hair. “Everything is easier when you’re not alone.”

  “So...” Knowing she was out of her depth, Sterling tried to think, but it wasn’t possible, not right now with his body all over her body, his gaze catching her every thought. Full honesty, then. “This wasn’t a one-off?”

  His smile was so tender that it turned her soft, too. “Once isn’t near enough for me. Don’t tell me it was for you.”

  “I want more.” More of him, more of this. Maybe the sharing he mentioned, too.

  “Good.” He released a pent-up breath. “Difficult as it’ll be, we have to get out of bed, shower—”

  “Together?”

  “Alone, because I have calls to make.”

  She pretended to pout, but seriously, showering with him would have been nice.

  “We need to coordinate plans. I need to prove to you that having me along will be a good thing. But if we shower together...?” He shook his head. “All my good intentions will go right out the window, because now that I’ve had you, I won’t be able to keep from touching you.” He cupped her breast. “Kissing you.” He nuzzled her neck. Near her ear, he whispered, “Tasting you—again.”

  Sterling shivered. “You’re promising a lot.”

  “Don’t let it scare you.” Laughing, he dodged her smack, caught her hand and pressed it down beside her head.

  “I’m not scared.”

  “Wary, then.” He pushed off the bed but took the time to look her over as he picked up his boxers and jeans. “Take a few minutes more if you want. I’ll shower first.”

  She watched him walk away with a sense of...peace? That, or something equally serene, invaded her very soul. It was a new, unfamiliar feeling, one of many thanks to Cade.

  He was right, of course. He did scare her, mostly because she hadn’t relied on anyone in a very long time. Maybe because she liked Cade so much, because she really wanted to rely on him, it made it somehow worse. More alarming.

  But she wasn’t a wimp, so she got out of bed and went for her laptop. She had a lot of research to do. Maybe that’d get her mind off the naked hunk currently in her shower.

  Doubtful, but she’d give it a try.

  CHAPTER NINE

  AFTER THE EXPLOSIVE SEX, Star finally agreed to let him take part in retrieving Adela. He would have assisted her anyway, but having her agreement simplified things.

  He’d known they would be good together. After all, the chemistry was through the roof.

  Yet the depth of what he’d felt, the extreme connection, had surprised him. He’d like nothing more than to spend an entire day in bed with her, exploring her incredible curves and enjoying her blunt, uninhibited way of responding.

  Impossible when they had so much to do.

  They’d already picked up the alternate vehicle from his family’s private lot, a reinforced van with darkened windows that he and Reyes used when they expected gunplay. The black matte paint helped hide it in low light, plus it had incredible speed for a van.

  He’d spent an hour trying to convince Star to let his family take part. Her protestations—that she didn’t know his family, so how could he expect her to trust them?—made sense.

  He understood and offered a compromise, suggesting, “Just my brother, then.” Reyes made one hell of an ally. If there were ten men waiting to ambush Star, Cade could handle them. He had no doubts on his own ability. But a sniper bullet? Mattox was the type of cowardly abuser who might do anything, including lure her in for a fast death.

  Making a woman suffer was more his speed, though, but Cade wouldn’t take chances either way.

  “You’ve already met him,” he reminded Star. “He’ll stay out of the way, but he’ll be an extra set of eyes just in case something goes wrong.”

  “He’s annoying,” she announced, as if that settled it.

  Laughing, Cade couldn’t deny that she’d nailed Reyes. “It’s true, my brother takes extreme pleasure in pushing people over the edge. But he’s reliable, capable and loyal.”

  With ill grace, she growled, “Fine. So he’s a sterling example of humanity.”

  “Let’s don’t go overboard.” He knew and accepted his brother’s faults—same as Reyes did for him.

  With a frustrated growl, she said, “Involve him if you want.” She gave him a hard glare. “But he’s your responsibility.”

  Cade could just imagine Reyes’s reaction if he heard that insult. Struggling not to smile, he said, “I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

  “Is that what it was? Felt more like me giving up because you wouldn’t let it go.”

  That had been hours ago, and she was still bristling about it as they prepped to take off.

  In the back of the van, Cade reached out to touch her cheek. “I have to do what’s necessary to keep you safe.”

  Mouth firming, she slid the Glock she’d just checked into a holster at her hip and stared up at him. “Long as you know I feel the same about you.”

  That declaration deserved a kiss, but he kept it soft and quick to say, “I assume you’ve practiced shooting left-handed?” Her injured finger wasn’t taped now, but it was still swollen and no doubt painful.

  “You’re asking me now?” Grinning, she indicated the small arsenal they’d amassed by combining their weapons. She reached for a Smith & Wesson .38 revolver to put in her ankle holster. “I plan for all contingencies, including an injured right hand, so yeah, I’ve had plenty of practice. I’m more accurate right-handed, but I can make do with my left, especially if it’s a target as big as Mattox.”

  As she tugged the leg of her jeans over the gun, Cade asked deadpan, “Packing anything else?”

  “My knife,” she said, turning to shake her booty at him so he’d notice the sheathed knife at the small of her back. “But I’d only use it if I got caught up close.”

  No way would he let that happen. Cade drew a breath.

  Seeing her so heavily armed had a dual effect on him. He believed she was proficient at protecting herself; her ease with all
the weapons reassured him of that. At the same time, he wished he could insist she hang behind and let him handle things. He’d get Adela, and kill Mattox if possible, but he knew Star well enough to know she’d never go for that.

  If he suggested she sit this out, she’d not only refuse, she’d revert to handling things on her own.

  “Let me help,” he said when she lifted the bulletproof vest he’d brought for her. It was the one thing she seemed unfamiliar with. He dropped it over her head, then adjusted the Velcro straps so it properly fit her.

  While she pulled on her button-up shirt, which was a tight fit now, he put on his own vest, and then the tactical belt that held more ammo, nylon cuffs, a Taser, knife, strobing flashlight, flash bang and two Glocks.

  Brows up, Star nodded at the flash bang. “A grenade? Really?”

  “Nonlethal, but good at disorienting people—in the case of a mob. There’s no telling how Mattox might set this up.”

  “If he set it up,” Star said, then asked, “You don’t believe Adela?”

  He stashed the first aid kit into a panel of the van, along with other emergency items. “I don’t think I do,” Cade admitted, “but mostly because I don’t think you do, either. Want to tell me why?”

  She appeared to like his answer. “There’s something about her, right? I’ve dealt with traumatized women before. I was a traumatized woman. But this just feels a little...off. Not enough that I won’t help her, but yeah, I’ve got my guard up, big-time.”

  “Do you know what triggered that feeling?”

  “She knows Mattox. I know him, too.” Casual as you please, she tossed out, “He’s the bastard who had me kidnapped all those years ago. The one who was in charge, who ordered me into that room with a drunken rapist, who employed the goons who stood guard.”

  Completely floored with that last-minute disclosure, Cade stared at her in disbelief. Pretending it was nothing, Star pulled the cargo door closed and locked it. Gaze averted, she started past him for the driver’s seat, but he caught her arm.

  At first, no words came to mind. She looked at him in mild inquiry, but he wasn’t buying it. She knew she’d just dropped a bombshell on him, and now she waited to see what he’d do.

  Sensing there was a lot riding on his reaction, he forcibly tamped down the extreme annoyance trying to take precedence. “You have a history with Mattox?”

  “Yeah, but the big lummox didn’t recognize me. Remember, I looked way different back then.”

  That she’d kept this from him left him seething. “Is there a reason you didn’t tell me before now?”

  “Couple of reasons, actually. One, I figured you’d freak out.”

  Cade took a step closer to her. “I do not freak out.”

  “No?” She pointedly looked over his rigid posture. “What do you call this?”

  “Furious?” He caught her shoulder before she could spin away. “Damn it, Star. You know you should have told me.”

  “Because we had sex? Get real.” She pointed a finger at his chest. “That’s one reason why I didn’t. You’re acting all territorial and stuff.”

  “How do you figure that?” Hell, he felt that way, sure. But he’d kept from showing it.

  Or had he?

  No, he definitely had. If he’d had his way, she wouldn’t be in the back of a bulletproof van strapping weapons all over her lean, sexy body, making plans to charge into danger.

  “It’s the way you look at me now,” she explained, as if it surprised her that he didn’t know.

  He pulled his chin back. “How do I look at you?”

  Mouth turning down, she quipped, “Like you think you have me all wrapped up.”

  Yeah, right. “I’m not deluded.” She was a loose cannon. God, he wished he had a little control over her... No, he didn’t.

  Part of what he admired most about Star were her guts and fortitude. She might bend, but she would never break.

  He found that confidence sexy as hell.

  And deep down, a small part of him thought she might be strong enough to handle the life he’d chosen.

  Most weren’t.

  Tell other women that he eliminated human traffickers at any cost? They’d bail real fast.

  Only Star saw it as an opportunity to team up.

  “Maybe not deluded, but if I’d told you earlier, you’d have wanted me to stay behind—which isn’t happening, so don’t even go there.”

  He let his own anger show. “Don’t assume my thoughts.”

  “I don’t have to. It’s right there on your face.”

  “Regardless of what you think you see, I know this is important to you. And you’re important to me.”

  Her belligerent expression faltered. “I am?”

  New irritation surfaced. “How the hell can you be surprised over that?” He cut her off when she started to speak. “I care enough that I’d like to stand with you, but I wouldn’t stand in your way.”

  “Wow. Okay.” A small smile formed, then went crooked. “Do I owe you an apology?”

  “Damn right. You withheld info that I need to share with Reyes.”

  That took care of her softened mood. “I don’t see why.”

  Cade already had his phone out. “Your past relationship with Mattox ups the chance that this is all a ruse to get to you.”

  Scoffing, she said, “I told you, he didn’t recognize me.”

  “You can’t be sure of that.”

  She threw up her hands. “Aren’t you the one who said I have good instincts?”

  The text he sent Reyes was brief and to the point. “You’re giving me second thoughts on that.” Given her gasp, Cade assumed the insult hit home.

  “Well, too bad.” Suddenly she moved against him, hugging him as tight as she could while they wore bulletproof vests.

  Definitely not the reaction he’d expected. Automatically, his arms went around her. Without thinking about it, he rested his face against the top of her head, breathed in the warm musk of her skin and hair, and relished the feel of her.

  How had she become so important to him so quickly?

  Voice lower now, a little confused and a little worried, she said, “I watched Mattox’s face at Misfits. It leveled me, seeing him again after so long. I don’t mind telling you I was struck with a sort of blindsided panic.”

  Cade wished he could have spared her that. It had to be rough, having her past just show up like that.

  To reassure him, she pressed back to make eye contact. “There wasn’t a speck of recognition. I swear, he had no idea who I am.” Biting her lip, she added, “He didn’t know that he’d ruined my life so long ago.”

  “Listen to me, babe, okay?” Here she stood, armed to the teeth, ready to take on the world—and her abuser. She’d suffered that recognition alone. She would have done this alone, too, if he hadn’t found a way to talk her around. “You need to be ready to shoot. Shit goes sideways, don’t think about it. Just protect yourself.” Abusive assholes were expendable. She was not. “If anything at all sets off a warning, promise me you’ll get out of there, okay?”

  She nodded. “You betcha.”

  A returning text from Reyes dinged into the silence. Are you sure there won’t be any other surprises?

  No, he wasn’t, but he replied: Just be ready for anything.

  Reyes sent a thumbs-up emoji.

  Putting the phone on vibrate and pocketing it, Cade said, “Time for us to go.”

  She nodded and got behind the wheel. He disabled the interior lights and then sat behind the passenger seat, where he’d have a view out the windshield and could also easily see Star. There was no more talking as she drove out to the meeting place.

  Coalville was a minuscule town, a population of around one hundred, give or take any recent deaths or births, with most of the residents being elderly. The quick
research they’d done claimed it was a ghost town—a story that started back in the early 1900s when a mine explosion caused over fifty deaths and effectively destroyed the growing mining industry.

  “If anyone lives here,” Star murmured, “they must be up in the hills somewhere.” She drove slowly over railroad tracks onto broken pavement that turned to gravel...that led to a dirt road.

  The van’s headlights bounced over scrubby bushes and boulders along the narrow sides of the road. They passed a couple of shacks that appeared abandoned, two mobile homes nearly rusted through and a small store with most of the windows boarded up.

  “Should I kill the lights?”

  “No.” That’s what Adela wanted them to do, and he wasn’t in an accommodating mood. At the end of the bumpy, uneven road, Cade spotted the church. “Nice and slow. Reyes is already in place. If he’s spotted anything shady, he hasn’t said so.”

  “Where exactly is he?”

  “Up in the hills somewhere, well hidden but with a good view.”

  “Wouldn’t he have been noticed getting there?”

  “Nah, he’s good.”

  The van bounced roughly over deep ruts. Brittle branches from pinyon pines and junipers scraped against the roof. There were no streetlights and the moon wasn’t bright this night, so heavy shadows lurked right outside the headlight beams.

  Grime-darkened windows and dirty clapboard indicated the church had lost its congregation. It was the last building before the road climbed up the mountain.

  “I don’t like it,” Cade muttered.

  “Shh,” she said in return. Without looking at him, she stopped the van several yards away. After a moment, a woman stepped out on the front stoop. “That’s her.”

  “Let her come to you,” Cade insisted.

  “She’s not. She’s probably worried that I might be Mattox.” Drawing a deep breath, Star opened the door and stepped out.

  Cade swallowed his curse and did the same, sliding silently out the cargo door and hunkering down low, in a better position to defend her if necessary.

  In a hushed voice, Star called, “Adela?”

  “Who is it?” Adela gripped the railing and peered toward the van. “Francis?”