Closing Costs: Stewart Realty, Book Three

by Crowe, Liz

  “No.” He leaned forward and grabbed her hand. The spark hit them both at the same moment. She caught her breath.

  Mine.

  Jack kept his gaze on hers. Her stare still had the power to rattle the shit out of him.

  “Not a surprise. Cancel it. Go out with me.”

  She jerked her hand away.

  “You don’t have any say over me. Not anymore, remember?”

  He leaned back. “

  “I need to talk to you. No, scratch that. I want to buy you dinner, some place fancy, you pick. I’ll even let you split the tab with me. Let’s just…talk.” He hoped she didn’t catch the desperation in his voice.

  He’d felt a lot of things about this woman in the course of his life with her. But today the compulsion tugged at his subconscious harder than ever, as if they’d never been apart, never fought, never said some of the shit they’d said to each other. She smiled and he tried not to leap across the table and kiss her.

  Jesus. Shannon – Remember Shannon?

  He couldn’t even picture her face at the moment. He made a mental note to fill her in on the whole “taking a break” thing later, to be fair.

  “Fine. The Chop House. Eight o’clock. I’ll be the one in the killer black dress.” She stood. “Katie, c’mere and give me a hug.”

  The girl leapt into her mother’s arms. Jack watched them together, his heart pounding in his ears.

  Mine.

  * * *

  Sara berated herself all the way home. The hot soccer coach had flirted his ass off with her earlier. She’d even given him her number. She’d kept the haze of ego-boosting buzz all the way to the ice cream place.

  Then, Jack had done it again.

  She pounded the steering wheel.

  “Shit! Shit! Shit!” Angry tears rolled down her cheeks. Was there ever a time the man didn’t make her cry? She wiped her face, determined to make it the last time she let him do this to her.

  Jack Gordon was not her future. They’d proven it time and again. Why he kept circling back, drawing her in, giving her hope.

  But you let him, don’t you? Is it because you need to prove he’s yours, no matter who he’s with?

  No. It’s because you love him. Just fucking well admit it.

  She climbed out of her car and went inside, mentally playing the various conversations they could possibly have now, after all these years, that would mean anything.

  On reflex she called her brother, needing his voice, his steady influence, even his outrage if she could get it.

  “Hey,” he answered, sounding breathless.

  “Hey yourself. I didn’t interrupt anything did I? You sound…busy.”

  He laughed.

  “No. I just got back from a pick up soccer game.” Sara smiled. Her new soccer mom friend Lila was considering something Sara found slightly unbelievable – to be Blake and Rob’s surrogate.

  “Oh. Well.” She let the thought dangle a little.

  “Don’t worry. He’s okay with it. A woman who loves soccer as much as he does? I think I’m the one who should worry this time.”

  “I’m going out with him tonight.”

  “Huh? Who?”

  “Who do you think?”

  “I thought he had…I mean, okay, good for you.”

  “I need you to go back to telling me to avoid him like the plague. Give me a reason to be logical about this.”

  “Too late for that. I think it’s time to follow your heart.”

  “You are absolutely no help to me right now.”

  “Tough. I’m gonna go. Lila’s coming over for dinner.”

  “Be careful. She’s coming off a nasty divorce. Asshole dumped her, made her move out and is trying to get full custody of…”

  “We know.”

  “Well, um, I’m not sure what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything. Nothing’s happened. Yet.”

  “Right. Like I said, watch it. You boys might overwhelm her.”

  He laughed and must have handed the phone over to Rob.

  “Sara. Go out with Jack, make up, marry him. Do something. Just quit dancing around it. We’re all sick of you both.”

  “Stop bossing me Freitag. And go easy with my friend.”

  “Ha. I can hardly keep her from undressing your brother with her eyes every time she sees him. Tell her to take it easy, why don’t you.” But his voice stayed light and Sara had the thought that a full circle moment for those two might very well involve her fellow soccer mom. “Seriously, you and Jack need to quit the bullshit. Get it together. For Katie’s sake? Hell, make her a little brother. I’m pretty sure you both know how to do that.”

  “When monkeys fly. I will never be pregnant again if I have any say in it.”

  “Whatever. Go. Have fun. Love you.”

  On her way toward the door, she got another call.

  “Hey, handsome.” She found lipstick, fumbled around for her car keys.

  “Hi. How’re things with you?” Craig’s soft southern accent had deepened since his years spent in Nashville at med school. She loved the sound of it.

  “Well, pretty good. Have a date, actually.”

  “Oh, sorry to bother you.”

  “No, no, I’m fine. Katie was asking about you today. You still taking her up to Traverse City for her tournament next weekend?”

  “Yeah.” He stayed quiet. Sara sat, sensing a problem.

  “What’s wrong? Spill it.”

  “Just wanted to hear your voice I guess.”

  She heard busy hospital noises behind him. “Cut the crap. What’s up?”

  “I don’t know. Suzanne’s being distant, like she’s unhappy, but not really, but won’t talk to me about it.”

  “She’s been through a lot. Give her time. Be your amazing charming self. She’ll come around. If not, I’ll beat her up. How’s that?”

  “It’s a deal. You going out with Jack?”

  “How in the hell does everybody know this already?”

  “Because if you don’t the rest of us are gonna sue you for breach of contract, or something.”

  “Jesus. That’s pretty harsh, coming from you.”

  “Sara, you know how I feel about you. I just think it’s time for you to own up to how you feel about him. Stop fighting it.”

  “Craig…” She stood, uneasy with the direction he was going. “You better than most know why I fight it. He’s…impossible.”

  “Impossible to trust, you mean.”

  She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “Yes. Exactly.” But that old mental argument no longer held much air, even to her. He’d stuck around, been so amazing with Katie, and working with him as a manager of the brokerage had actually turned out to be a great experience on a lot of levels. She knew the office considered them a work-married-couple and the pool on when they’d make it official had been ongoing for years.

  “I should stop using that as an excuse. I know that’s what I’m doing.”

  “Exactly,” he parroted her. “Sara, listen, I know you’ve heard it a million times but I’m going to say it again anyway. You guys are meant to be together. That doesn’t mean it will be easy. But I know he loves you to distraction. Tell him what you want from him and he’ll give it to you.”

  Face burning hot, she rose to her feet, sweaty and nervous like a teenager headed out on her first date. “See, that’s the problem, right there.” She sucked in a breath and gathered her thoughts. “I mean, I don’t want something from him. I just want him. All of him, heart and soul. And I’m terrified that I won’t get that. Ever. No matter what he says. I honestly think he’s incapable of giving that to anyone.”

  “He’ll do it for you. Trust me. But you have got to tell him—what you told me just now—about his heart and soul. Tell him that.”

  Pulse racing, she flopped onto her couch and stuck her fancy, high-heeled feet up on the coffee table. “I don’t know. We’re so…programmed to fail, you know? And I hate failure. So does
he. But we keep doing it, somehow. We can’t get this one thing right.”

  Craig heaved a long sigh. She smiled.

  “I’m sorry. This isn’t your problem and you have your own. I’m being selfish.”

  “One of your many charms,” he said, chuckling into her ear.

  “I’m feeling sorry for myself I guess.”

  “Well stop it. Go out and get your man. Stop messing around.”

  “Yes sir. I’d say the same to you. Stop messing around and tell Suzanne you love and she needs to get over herself. Oh…” She stopped, hand to her lips, and closed her eyes.

  “Yeah. Why don’t you take your own advice, much?”

  “Yeah. God. How do you stand me? How have any of you stood either of us through all this time?”

  “Because we love you, Sara. Why else? Me. Blake. Rob. Your parents. Julie. Even Suzanne. We’re here for you but we’re also this close to shutting you guys in a room and locking the door behind you until you…figure things out.”

  Sara burst out laughing. “That would never work. We don’t do well with close proximity somehow, unless we’re…you know.” Her face flushed again.

  “I do know, Sara. Trust me.” He paused. “Here’s the thing. I feel guilty about my part in keeping you guys apart at one time. I know I did that but I did it because at the time, I did love you. But you were right about one thing. I considered myself in direct competition with Jack. Something not many men would take on, you know. I was in heady company, going out—okay having a lot of sex—with you.”

  All her nerves went on high alert at these words. She launched herself up off the couch and headed for the bathroom to check her makeup. Not really wanting to hear more from him, but knowing she had to.

  “Blake feels bad about it too. He knows his part in the keep-Sara-from-Jack years was crucial. He thought he was doing you a favor, protecting you. I did too, on some level. But neither of us did either of you any favors.”

  “Wait, Craig…I….”

  “No I need to say this and you need to listen.” He blew out a breath. Sara closed her eyes, waiting to hear more, even as her racing pulse calmed, her pounding heart quieted.

  Because he was right. This was it. Tonight’s date was her absolute last shot, on a long list of “last shots” they’d both blown with their mutually strong emotional barrier bullshit.

  “You and Jack belong together, Sara. He’s matured. So have you. You have a child together, for Christ’s sake.”

  “Wait, that’s…”

  “No. Katie is his. We all know this without the benefit of a blood test. His whole thing with that agent in his office is nothing but a distraction, something to keep him from going nuts over the fact that you won’t let him into your heart, your soul. Did you ever consider that?”

  Tears welled in her eyes. She grabbed a tissue to blot them before they ruined her carefully applied makeup.

  “That’s right, Sara. You can’t expect him to hand over his, unless you’re offering yours in exchange. That means you have to stop fronting, stop posturing, stop making excuses. You want him, right?”

  She sucked in a breath, speechless at his outburst.

  “Well?”

  “Yes,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Yes. I do. I want him more than I want anything.”

  “Then tell him that. Stop making it so god damned complicated. Because it’s not. I know he’s never far out of your life. I’m willing to bet he’s always giving you stuff too. Am I right?”

  She nodded, watching as the damn tears continued to fall, grateful for whomever invented waterproof mascara as she scrabbled around in her medicine cabinet for eye drops to hide the redness.

  “Why are you saying all of this to me? Why now?” she asked after setting the phone on the vanity top and putting Craig on speaker.

  “You had to hear it from me. I think you know why.”

  Blinking fast, she caught her gaze in the mirror again.

  Jack.

  You want him.

  Offer your heart and soul.

  Don’t be afraid any more. Or you’ll never be happy.

  “Thank you,” she said. “I don’t know what else to say to you. This is so…weird.”

  He laughed, a sound that soothed her rattled nerves and made her smile. She put away the eye drops, applied lipstick and picked up her impractical, fancy, going-out bag. One Jack had actually given her at some point. She paused and looked around, noting all the things he’d gifted her with, including the necklace and earrings she was wearing right now.

  Craig was right.

  “I’m right, you know,” he said, making her shiver at the way he’d mirrored her exact thought. “He shows his love by giving you stuff. By having you work with him. By teaching you things. By loving Katie so hard you can read it on his face. By doing things for you. It’s time for you to own up to that. Let him love you his way, not some other way you’ve built up in your head is the only way.”

  “Damn, son, you sure you’re not working in psychiatry instead of emergency medicine?”

  He didn’t laugh. “I loved you once, Sara and it affected me in a way I can’t explain. I want you to be happy and I get it now. That’s only going to happen if you’re with Jack.”

  “Okay,” she said, pausing on her way to the door to take a look at herself in the full length mirror. But she barely saw herself. Because at that moment, she wanted to be in front of Jack, to take Craig’s advice.

  To give him what he wanted from her. To offer her trust, so he could offer his.

  “Thanks again, Craig.”

  “You’re welcome. Go get ‘im, tiger.”

  She took a deep breath, clicked off the call, and headed out for her car.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Jack fiddled with his cocktail napkin, ignoring the blatant stare of the woman who’d chosen the empty bar stool next to him, despite the fact there were at least five other seats she could have taken. He did not need this, not tonight.

  His mind spun, his entire body felt like an exposed nerve ending. Gulping the bourbon, he signaled for another. When his phone buzzed with a text, he frowned, read it and typed out a reply: Sorry, needed a night off. Let’s talk tomorrow.

  Shannon shot back. Is it her? Just tell me now Jack. I don’t play games.

  He set his jaw and answered her.

  Yes. It always has been. I’m sorry. You’re an incredible woman and I feel like shit for doing this, trust me.

  She didn’t answer so he tucked the phone away.

  What was his problem? Did he really need her in his life, no matter what his heart said? They weren’t good together.

  But yet, they were. Or they would be. If he could open up, let her in.

  Something he’d not done since …okay, you’re a grown-ass man, Gordon. Time to stop using some chick dumping you in law school as an excuse to commit, really, truly commit to Sara. You’re asking her to do the same. You have to stop pretending, tear down your emotional blockades, be honest with her.

  He shook his head at that mental gut check, turning to face the bar so the admittedly hot woman next to him wouldn’t engage him, tempt him like he usually preferred. For a minor distraction, he snuck a look at her legs. She uncrossed and re-crossed them, obviously aware of his gaze. He laughed and looked up at her just as Sara entered the restaurant. He leapt up, not ready to get caught in some bullshit misunderstanding yet again.

  He stopped, speechless. The black dress fit her like a second skin. Her figure had changed since pregnancy but only for the better as far as he was concerned. Her lightly tanned arms and shoulders sparkled. Diamond earrings and a drop necklace he’d given her last Christmas made him smile.

  He loved buying her jewelry, mainly because it pissed her off, but she never turned it down, unless it came with a “Will you…,” question attached. He caught himself more often than not buying her all kinds of stuff. None of which she ever refused. He loved doing things to make her happy, to help her be m
ore successful, to bring her joy, if he could.

  Okay, you lame ass, time to stop giving her random stuff. Give her want she wants.

  He sensed his barriers rising, excuses ringing in his ears—she’s prickly, temperamental, high maintenance, won’t ever trust you. She makes you want to put your fist through the wall every other day. Why subject yourself to that? It would never be worth it. Right?

  Wrong.

  He tucked his hands in his pockets and let her look around a minute, so he could study her a bit longer. A lifelong cynic about love, Jack had no pre-conceived notions about the two of them. But he did know one thing, and seeing her flirt with that smarmy tool of a soccer coach had solidified it for him.

  He stepped to the side into her line of sight. Her gorgeous face lit up with a wide smile. He smiled in return, and his universe slowly began to slide back into place.

  Sara couldn’t catch her breath. The whole car ride downtown, parking, the quick walk to the restaurant all kept that weird, first date vibe – patently ridiculous given their long history. They were like an old married couple with their work squabbles and disagreements about Katie. But she decided to treat it like one. Squaring her shoulders before entering she put on her best smile, forced herself to relax.

  It’s just Jack for crying out loud.

  She smiled at the deep meaning that statement had for her through the years.

  A whoosh of cool air greeted her, a relief after the late spring heat outside. Suddenly nervous, she fiddled with her hair, bit her lip and looked around.

  In a split second, the crowd parted like water, revealing him at the far end of the bar. He grinned, put his hands in his pockets, and she had to grab the back of a chair to remain standing up. She smiled but her body ached with a sudden unmet need she hadn’t even acknowledged. The invisible line connecting them took shape, shimmering, strong and inevitable.

  Don’t let him do this Sara. You can resist it. You can…

  But you don’t want to, remember?

  You want Jack. And not just his body, although that would be nice right about now.

  “You are a vision of perfection.” His voice rumbled through her like a thunderstorm on her horizon, ready to wreak havoc, and bring life-giving rain.