by Z Brewer
“So...you taught me how to fight because you couldn’t teach Katelyn how to defend herself?” My words caught in my throat, and I recognized the strangled feeling I was experiencing for what it was. Jealousy. I was jealous of a dead girl. Of course he hadn’t taken on our training sessions because he felt drawn to me in any way. It was because I reminded him of his dead Healer. My heart ached, though I never would have admitted it to anyone. Least of all, Darius.
Why was I jealous? At most I had a minor crush on Darius. So why did it bother me so much that he hadn’t necessarily enjoyed our alone time together as much as I had?
Because, I told myself, you’re completely and totally in love with the man.
My head spun with the realization and something inside my chest clenched. I was. I was in love with Darius. And with Trayton. And I didn't even want to think about the butterflies that had entered my stomach when Gage had brushed my hair from my face just minutes ago. What was I going to do?
“After the battle, I was rewarded the highest honor. The Elder Barrons asked me what gift I’d like, what prize I wanted to receive, in honor of my so-called valor. I asked to never be Bound again, and to live out my life known only as an Unskilled, and to teach at Shadow Academy. No one was more surprised than me when they granted my request. Everything was going along just fine for a few years. Until the Headmaster called me to his office that day. He said that a Healer had been found for Trayton. That was pretty major, considering Darrek’s death hunt for Healers. I was thrilled for the cause and glad for Trayton. I know what it’s like to lose a Healer. No other pain can possibly compare.” He looked up then, meeting my eyes for the first time since I realized my feelings for him. How could I have doubted that I loved him? How did I not realize it before now? “But then the Headmaster shared more news with me. The Healer the Elder Barrons had chosen for Trayton was you. My Healer. I learned your name for the first time. But I didn’t speak it aloud. Not yet. I was almost afraid to.”
He’d spoken my name the day that he’d found me in the woods, and I remembered how he’d drawn out saying it, like it somehow felt right on his tongue. Had that meant anything, or was I merely a curiosity to him? I flicked a nervous glance around the battlefield. There was no sign of Maddox and, thankfully, none of Gage either. “So why didn’t they just send me to another school?”
“Trayton’s father was insisting that he continue his training at Shadow Academy. Family tradition and all. Pretty common amongst the Skilled. Headmaster Quill said he’d argued against the match, but it was losing battle. There just aren’t enough unattached Healers to go around anymore. He offered me a transfer to another academy, but I declined. I thought I could handle it. I mean, all my life I was curious about you, but it wasn’t an overwhelming attachment.”
A small crack opened on my heart when he said that. One that threatened to spread if I remained close to him for much longer. I moved forward, but Darius caught my arm, and gently, but firmly pushed me back against the trunk of a tree with a look that said that he was almost finished, if I would just indulge him for a few moments more. The floodgates had been opened, and it was time for truth to come pouring out. All of it. Not a single drop would be held back.
“But as the date of your arrival got closer, curiosity got the best if me. I had to see you. Before anyone else. So I would know that there was really no attachment, and that I could handle it. But then I saw you, and it was all over.” Blinking, I looked at him. What was he saying? That he’d felt something—albeit small—for me from the day we’d met? Impossible. I was just a poor substitution for his dead Healer. Wasn’t I? His eyes softened, as did his tone. “Then you tried to touch my wound with your hand. And everything that I had built here for myself almost came crashing down around me.”
My bottom lip was trembling. “Darius…”
Maybe I was trying to warn him, trying to stop him before he went where I knew he was going. Maybe I was trying, in a half-hearted way, to save us both.
“But I didn’t give up on my delusion that I could uphold the Headmaster’s wishes. I convinced myself that once you and Trayton were Bound, things would be different.” He shook his head, and suddenly he seemed dangerously, achingly close. I could feel his breath on my cheek. “I couldn’t have been more wrong. And when Maddox arranged for me to train you, I became undone. I couldn’t escape you, couldn’t escape this bond between us, or the way you made my heart race. I had to be close to you. I had to be with you. Because you make me feel like no one ever has. Even Katelyn.”
He raised his arm up and braced it against the tree, as if hiding me from the fighting. Maybe he wanted us to be alone when he spoke his next words, or maybe he was hoping to hide the shimmer in his eyes. I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that I couldn’t breathe, because Darius had taken my breath away with his proximity.
“You wonder why I never told you that we're Soulbound, and I'm here to tell you now. I'm here to tell you the absolute truth about who I am and what you mean to me. But mostly, I'm here…to do this.” Reaching his hand up, he grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me into an unexpected kiss. A kiss so deep, so hungry, so absolutely dizzying that I found myself falling into it head over heels. An excited heat raced through me. He kissed me and I kissed him back, unashamed, uninhibited, filled with a need to be close to him, to share a connection with the man whose birth had coincided with my own, bonding us forever.
I had never felt such peace or unrelenting joy in my life.
Joy that crashed all around me in tattered pieces as our lips parted.
His eyes met mine, and after a moment, he returned his hand to his side. His cheeks were flushed pink, partly from embarrassment, but I’m certain for another reason altogether—just like mine. I breathed his name, and it came out huskier than I’d intended. “Darius…”
My heart was still racing, but for a different reason entirely. Panic enveloped me as the reality of what just happened settled onto my conscience. Darius had kissed me. And I had returned that kiss. What would Trayton think? What would he say if he knew? And did I care?
Without another word, I ran down the hill and away from the quieting battlefield. I didn't stop to look for Maddox, only ran. I had to get away from Darius, away from these feelings, and away from the part of me that had returned his kiss. I was frightened, mostly of myself. So I ran.
Gage was standing precisely where I'd left him, and as I approached him and then passed him by, he looked to the battlefield and then to me. "Is everything alright?"
"Everything's fine. Let's just get out of here."
Hours later, at a camp that we had set up at Gage's insistence--I wanted to keep moving--we sat by a crackling fire pit, and Gage watched me with a knowing look in his eye. "Clearly, something's wrong. And I'm not at all certain why you won't share with me precisely what that is."
I opened my mouth to speak--to lie, really--but snapped it shut again when I spied movement in the tree line. As Darius moved into the firelight, he said, "You can't run from this, Kaya. I know. I've tried. And if you think--"
His eyes fell on Gage and, in a moment that moved so quickly that I almost couldn't comprehend what was happening, Darius unsheathed his katana and shifted into an attack stance, his eyes narrowed and locked on Gage.
Almost instinctually, I grabbed my weapon and stood between them, at the ready to fight Darius, if I had to. But only if I had to. I kept my tone calm, though I was feeling anything but. "Darius, what issue do you have with Gage?"
Darius flicked his gaze over my shoulder, his eyes darkening, brooding. When his attention returned to me--not fully; his mind was absolutely honed in on Gage in a big way at the moment--his jaw was tense, tight. "Gage?"
I couldn't be certain, mostly because I'd never encountered the tone coming from Darius before, but I swore I detected a note of confusion in his words. But before I could question this strange moment of doubt--strange, because Darius was never one to doubt; not outwardly that I had seen. Darius oozed co
nfidence, at any given moment of time--I watched the corner of his mouth twitch.
"Kaya," My name rolled across his tongue in a breathy way that sent a sharp shiver up my spine. "I don't know who you think this is, but his name is certainly not Gage."
My heart beat solidly in my chest. Two loud thumps that echoed through my being like a war drum.
Darius was confused. Or misinformed. Or something else altogether. But the first step to discovering exactly what was going on was for us to put our collective guard down and sheath our weapons. I opened the palm of my free hand and held it up. The gesture wasn't one of surrender--there was no fight here, and I wanted to make that clear to him--but one meant to halt any further action until we had a moment to sort things out. Of course Gage was Gage. I knew him. I'd travelled, fought, healed, and lived with him for weeks now. He was Gage. Who else could he be?
With a nod at Darius, indicating that my next movement was also a peaceful one, I lifted my katana over my head, returning it slowly to its saya on my back. With every inch of metal that disappeared, Darius's nerves seemed more and more on edge. His eyes continued to move between Gage and I, as if he wanted to trust me, but knew better.
When my katana was safely put away, I held up my other hand and spoke in a voice that I imagined one might use when trying to communicate calmly with a mad man. "His name is Gage, Darius. He's my friend. Trust me on this."
Behind me, Gage was both still and silent.
Darius's eyes narrowed. His normally bronze skin flushed a furious red as his focus narrowed in entirely on the man standing behind me. When he spoke again, I half expected his words to be released into the chilly air as steam, but they rolled out instead in a small fog. "He's not Gage. And he's not your friend. I'd stake my life on it."
My hands dropped slowly. I furrowed my brow, shaking my head. "So who is he then?"
The corner of his mouth twitched again, and I watched the subtle movements in his muscles as he tightened his grip on his katana. Such small things to anyone else, but I knew Darius. He was preparing for a kill.
My heart began to race in panic. I didn't know if I could keep Darius at bay long enough for Gage to escape this madness. Why had I put my sword away? What had I been thinking? Darius had clearly lost his senses completely. My mind scrambled for a solution that wouldn't end in at least one of us lying dead on the forest floor.
Darius moved his eyes from Gage for a moment--barely long enough to take a breath. "Kaya."
The weight of my name on his tongue gave me pause. It was the tone of a man who was trying to reach someone through a thick fog, the tone of reason, of soundness, of sanity. "Kaya," he repeated, his eyes on mine now, his voice the sound of reason that I had always known it to be. "This isn't Gage. This is King Darrek."
My eyes widened. My heart raced. I whipped my head around to lock eyes with Gage. The next sound that filled my ears was that of sharply honed metal singing through the air.
A blade, sharp and shining in the firelight swung forward from the darkness as one of King Darrek's guards attacked. Darius brought his katana back, meeting the weapon in mid-air. The sound of the katanas hitting rang through my ears. Darius pushed the blade back and raised his sword confidently, as if to strike the man down.
Then a hand, strong and familiar, pushed me back from the attack. Gage hurried forward, his dagger in hand. At first, I wasn't sure what he was thinking. The dagger would do him no good against a katana, and Darius clearly held the advantage against the guard. But then Gage stepped forward and plunged his dagger into Darius's back.
My world stopped moving. My lungs stopped breathing.
Time moved so slowly as Darius looked down on the tip of the dagger's blade poking out his chest. Then his eyes rolled into his head and he crumbled, falling to the ground.
My heart pounded in my ears.
Darius was dead. Gage had killed him.
I ran through the thickness of slowed time and stretched out my left hand, my fingertips brushing against Darius's cheek as he fell. I didn't know if it would be enough to save him. I didn't know if we were still Soulbound or if that would be enough to bring him back from the shadows of death. But I did know that it was the last time that Gage would ever betray me.
My hand found the handle of my weapon and I brought it quickly from my back and swung it hard around, but the guard's blade stopped it from hitting its mark. Darius's body hit the ground at that moment, and I glanced at him to see if there was still light in his eyes. But I could see none.
The guard wasted not a single breath before bringing his katana around. Its blade plunged forward. I sucked in a lungful of air and spun around, my katana slicing into the cartilage between the man’s ribs. He screamed and went down, blood bubbling from his lungs. I barely had time to watch him fall before I felt Gage’s dagger against my throat. His words were hot in my ear. “Oh Kaya. We could have had something special, you and I. We still can. But first, you’ll have to forgive me.”
Before I could ask for what, I felt something hard and heavy hit the back of my head. The woods, Darius, the dead guard, all swirled around me as I fell into unconsciousness.
Chapter 22
My first thoughts upon waking were of Darius. Was he really dead? Had a dreamt it? Had I lost him forever—my friend, my teacher, my Soulbound Barron? My head throbbed in pain, and it was all I could do to force my eyes open. But I had to know where I was, and how I was going to get free. My best bet was to somehow find Trayton again, and maybe talk some sense into him about that whole taking me back to Shadow Academy thing. And then…something. I had no idea what. My head ached too much to think. As my eyelids fluttered open, I wondered instantly what had become of my katana. Interesting—that my first thoughts were of Darius, and my second of my weapon and escape.
I recognized the room instantly as King Darrek’s chambers, and though Darius had already outed Gage, seeing the truth of it shattered my heart to pieces. How could I have befriended the Graplar King? The man who had ravaged our land and hunted Healers to near-extinction? How could I have enjoyed his company? How could I have felt the stirrings of attraction for such a monster?
The bed was soft—the mattress overstuffed with down, the pillows under my head the same. The covers were silk and brocade. My wrists were bound together with silken rope and tide to the nearest post on the headboard. Likewise, my ankles were also bound, and tied to the footboard. King Darrek, Gage, whoever he was, left nothing to chance.
I wondered if Darius’s body had been cared for after his demise, or if, more likely, his remains were lying on the ground surrounded by other nameless dead. My heart ached so terribly, and I wondered if this was what it was like to be Soulbroken. I refused to cry. Simply because I knew that Gage wouldn’t leave me alone forever. And whenever he returned, I would not show him any weakness. He had taken enough from me, and I would die before he would have the opportunity to take any more.
The ornately carved door swung open and in stepped a woman dressed in a simple white dress that hung to the floor. Her hair was tied into two buns on top of her head, and in her hands she carried a tray full of food. She didn’t meet my eyes as she sat the tray on the table beside the bed—only hurried to pour a hot cup of liquid from the pewter pitcher into the mug on the tray before scurrying away again. Before the door could close, a familiar hand wrapped around the edge of the wood, catching it. Gage opened the door and stepped into the room without a word. As he closed the door behind him, he leaned back against it, his strange, different colored eyes watching me, as if gauging whether it would be me to speak first or him.
After a long while, he said, “You must be famished.”
I didn’t respond. But I kept my eyes locked on him.
How could this young man be the legendary King Darrek? Gage looked seventeen years old. Darrek was hundreds of years old. It was impossible that they were the same person. Wasn’t it?
He was dressed in black leggings, knee-high boots and a white, flowing s
hirt. Around his neck hung the chain that he had procured on our travels. As far as I could see, he was unarmed. He took a step away from the door, reaching behind him to lock it, and said, “You must have questions. So many questions.”
Of course I did, but I wasn’t about to ask them of him.
He gestured around the room with his eyes. “I imagine you’ve come to the conclusion that Darius was right. I am Darrek. I am the Graplar King. But I prefer, when travelling stealthily to go by Gage. It was my father’s name.”
I didn’t give a damn. About him. About his name. About his lies or excuses. About the friendship that I’d thought that we had formed. None of that mattered now.
Approaching the bed with slow, sure steps, he said, “You must wonder why I kept my true identity secret from you.”
“No.” I set my jaw, noticing the portrait that was missing the king’s face, and understanding now that Gage had cut it free when I’d had my back turned in order to conceal who he really was.
“No?” He raised an eyebrow at me, and for a brief moment, he wasn’t the Graplar King. Pieces of Gage broke through. It hurt me to see them.
“You kept it secret because you knew I’d kill you the moment I found out who you really were.”
“You can’t kill me, Kaya. No one can.” The confidence in his tone was unnerving. More unsettling still was that he didn’t seem to be bragging, just stating a simple fact. A fact tinged with sadness—not for himself and his apparent immortality, but for my lack of understanding.
I shook my head. “That’s a lie. No one lives forever.”
He shrugged my responses away, as if he’d heard that line before and had every right to dismiss it. His gaze moved up my arms to my wrists and a glint of concern crossed his strange eyes. “Are you hungry? I’ll untie you so that you can partake of my cook’s creations, but please don’t try to run. After all, I’d hate for anything to happen to your friend downstairs.”