Losing someone you love is one of the hardest things you will have to suffer through. Instead of having the time to grieve that loss, Colton was thrown headfirst into his father’s position without pause. Now, as the head of the Carrington family and CEO of many multi-million-dollar businesses, he has the whole world watching him. I don’t doubt that he’s feeling the pressure.
Ever since I came to Bellevue Springs, I’ve wanted nothing more than to hate Colton Carrington, and right now, I’m finding it an impossible task. He’s a broken soul and my heart is screaming to be the one who gets to fix it and if I can’t do that, then maybe he’ll just let me be close if only for a little while.
Maryne lets out a heavy sigh and I listen as papers are ruffled around on the table. “Okay,” she finally says. “Here are the options for the casket. I’m thinking that he would appreciate the Malaysian 14-karat gold with the red velvet lining.”
“I was thinking the same,” Harrison says. “It’s sophisticated. Charles would have appreciated that. Now, where are we with the florist and the guest list?”
A phone rings, cutting the conversation short. “Ah, this is probably the funeral home confirming the church.” Harrison scoops the phone off the table and steps back. He gets busy with the phone call as Maryne grabs a pen and starts marking off final choices, the same way she does when she’s planning one of the Carrington’s elaborate parties.
“Ocean?” Mom’s voice comes from behind. I spin around to find her walking down the hallway, watching me curiously. “What are you doing, honey?”
“I, uh … I really don’t know. I was trying to find everyone but then overheard them discussing funeral arrangements and well … why are they doing it? Shouldn’t Colton be involved? Out of everyone here, he knows Charles the most. Wouldn’t he want to be the one making these decisions?”
Mom’s lips pull into a tight line and I can’t help but notice the heaviness behind her eyes and realize just how hard today must be for her as well. She’s probably been living Dad’s death all over again, just like I have been. “No, sweety. He instructed Maryne and Harrison to take care of the funeral arrangements. Unfortunately, he doesn’t want anything to do with the process, but it’s okay, he’ll find another way to say goodbye. Besides, the poor boy has a lot to do with his mom and sisters not here. Charles has a lot of affairs to get in order and all that has just fallen on Colton’s shoulders.”
“I …” I cut myself off, not really sure what to say right now, but knowing that if I think too hard on it, I might just break. I’m thrown back in time to when Colton and I were standing in the foyer of the mansion and he was yelling at his dad about not wanting any of this. He didn’t want to be some stuck-up CEO, but now it’s too late. This empire is his and from here on out, he has to be the son his father always demanded of him. “Maybe I should offer to help with the funeral arrangements? I don’t want to be in their way but I can’t just stand here and do nothing.”
“No, sweety. I offered my assistance this morning and the offer was declined. They don’t want to go against Colton’s request and would like to settle it quickly and privately using the information they’d gathered from Charles over their time working for him. As sad as it is to say, apart from his direct family, Harrison and Maryne were the closest people he had in his life.”
“Yeah but don’t rich people usually have all this stuff sorted out in their wills and pre-arranged?”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE CHURCH IS UNAVAILABLE?” comes hollered from the dining room, making both our eyes sweep back into the dining room to find Harrison pacing up and down the length of the table. “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO YOU’RE TALKING TO? This service is for the late Charles Carrington and when I say that we want the absolute best for him, that is what I expect to be provided. Now, check again.” There’s a slight pause before Harrison chuffs. “That’s what I thought. Please email me confirmation.”
His call ends and I look at Mom impressed. “Wow, I didn’t realize that he had it in him.”
Mom nods. “Yes, he’s surprised me today. I’ve been hearing him on the phone all day. He's made some pretty amazing deals but what do you expect? This is Charles Carrington we’re talking about. No less than perfect will be acceptable.”
I nod, knowing far too well just how perfect it has to be. If Bellevue Springs has taught me anything, it’s that a man’s reputation is everything. It comes before business, family, and love. It’s all that matters because without a stellar reputation in this world, you’re as good as done.
“Alright, sweety,” Mom says, leaning in and giving me a tight hug. “I have to go and make sure the kitchen is in order so everything is perfect if Colton decides to come up for air.” I nod and she goes to walk away before stopping herself and looking back. “Perhaps you could go and find him. I know the two of you have become friendly. Maybe he needs some company.”
With that, mom scurries off to her duties and as I watch her go, her shoulders slump making me realize just how tired she must be. Mom has been working around the clock since the second we moved here, but the last few days with party preparation, the masquerade ball, and then the massive clean-up that has fallen solely on her shoulders would have almost killed her. Not to mention that she would have heard just how Charles died and would have spent her day struggling to hold it together. She’s stronger than anyone I know, but she’s also only human.
Mom disappears around the corner and I let out a breath. She’s right. Even if Colton doesn’t want me to hang around, I have to at least try. The only question is, where the hell is he? Harrison said he’d been MIA ever since walking out of his father’s office this morning.
When my dad died, all I wanted was to be alone, but more than that I wanted to forget, and the only way I was able to forget was by drinking until I passed out, and just like that, I know exactly where he is.
I make my way into the Carrington’s private kitchen and just like every other time I walk in here, I’m amazed and in absolute awe, but right now, there are more important things for me to focus on.
I walk through the kitchen and come to a stop outside the cabinet that I had stood in front of on my first day in Bellevue Springs with Charles right by my side. A sharp pang slices through my stomach at the memory. I wasn’t exactly close with Charles but no one deserves such an awful ending when their story clearly hasn’t finished being written.
It’s hard to believe that day was only a month ago. So much has happened since then.
I let out a shaky breath, mentally preparing myself for the unknown. My fingers curl around the small, golden handle of the cabinet door and I slowly pull it open to find the private bar that Colton had worked his ass off to install.
The room is in darkness but the light filtering in from the kitchen is enough to see Colton sitting in a lone armchair. His eyes are blazing and focused heavily on mine, intense and lethal, exactly the version of him that I saw in his father’s office this morning.
An open bottle of scotch dangles from his fingers. The bottle is near empty and something tells me that it’s probably not the only bottle he’s worked his way through today.
My heart shatters watching him. I’ve never seen someone in such pain, but I sure as hell know what it feels like. Colton didn’t even like his father that much. He was intimidating, violent, and angry, but he was still the man who raised him. He’s responsible for the man that Colton is today and that has to count for something.
The longer we remain in this stare off, the harder it becomes to watch him. I have to do something. I have to help him or somehow make at least a fraction of the pain go away, but when it comes to Colton Carrington, figuring out the right thing to do is always a challenge.
Realizing it’s now or never, I swallow my pride and go to take a step into the private bar, but as he stands, I find myself hovering in the open doorway.
His hazel eyes never leave mine and as he walks toward me, my heart starts racing. I've never understood how he can do that. He's
just some guy yet whenever he’s around, whether it's something good or something bad, he makes me react in a way which I never would have expected.
The closer he gets, the more I’m reminded of our night together and then early this morning before everything turned to shit. Last night was a fairytale at the party. He looked at me as though I was his everything, his whole world wrapped up in golden silk, but right now, he eyes me as though I’m nothing–trash.
Colton steps in front of me and I raise my chin, not understanding why my nerves are riding so high. “Hey, I … umm–”
I cut myself off as he steps right into me, his body pressed right up against mine. My hands naturally fall to his chest but as he takes another step, I’m pushed out, back into the quiet kitchen. He gives me a gentle push, sending me back against the counter but he stays right where he is, his eyes darkening with distaste.
Unease rockets through me and as he reaches the cabinet door and steps back into the private bar, his intentions become clear. The door is slammed between us with a hard thud and as I listen to the lock sliding into place, my world goes up in flames.
Tears begin to well in my eyes at his rejection. I thought this morning could have been forgiven as he’d just found his father dead, but now after hours of coming to terms with it … it hurts. All his rejections over the past month, his taunts, his stares, his hate, they all come back to me and just like that, I realize that whatever I was foolishly trying to build between us is gone.
The Colton Carrington I thought that I was beginning to know doesn’t exist. He played me, and despite knowing how much pain he’s in right now, something tells me that this is more than just a cry for help. He’s done with me and the finality of that tears me wide open, leaving me feeling like a fool, vulnerable and hurt.
I’m left standing here, staring at the closed door between us, and the longer I wait, hoping for it to open, the quicker everything begins to shut down within me.
The fairytale is dead and the sooner I come to terms with that, the better.
Chapter 4
“Are you ready for this?” Milo questions as he pulls into the student parking lot bright and early on Monday morning.
I stare up ahead at the students climbing out of their cars and take in the way they all look back at Milo’s Aston Martin, knowing I’m sitting right here in the passenger's seat. That’s the problem being the only girl in a school full of guys, if even the smallest thing happens in my life, every one of these bastards will know about it.
I shake my head and press my lips into a hard line. “Nope. Not even close, but it’s not like there’s anything I can do about it.”
“Mmhmm,” Milo hums. “You just gotta roll with the punches, or you can be a weak bitch and I can take your ass home.”
I groan and fall back into my seat as he parks his car. “Have I ever told you how your ability to inspire me is astounding? You’re simply one of a kind.”
Milo grins wide, knowing damn well that I’m being sarcastic. “What can I say?” he laughs. “You’d prefer me to be a mean bitch than a fake one.”
I groan again. “Fuck you. I hate it when you’re right.”
“Really?” he laughs. “I kinda like it.”
The Aston Martin comes to a stop and I watch as all the students turn and start heading toward us. “For fuck’s sake,” I mutter under my breath as I grab my bag and slip my phone into my pocket. “This is going to be a shit show.”
“Just be glad the press isn’t here,” Milo says, reaching down to the floor space at my feet and grabbing his bag. “It was a fucking joke trying to drive through them this morning.”
“I know, but unfortunately, I think it’s only going to get worse until they get the answers they’re looking for.”
“Yeah, but they’re not going to find them by stationing themselves outside the front fucking gates. You know, I saw someone had set up a tent. They’re sleeping out there, Ocean. It’s ridiculous. The last time I saw something like this was when Judge Mackeby was caught with a teenage girl and then dared to claim he thought she was a prostitute. For such a smart man, he is pretty fucking stupid.”
My eyes bug out of my head. “Are you serious?” I gasp, wide-eyed. “What kind of messed up perverts do you have living in this town?”
“Trust me, every fucker in Bellevue Springs has the worst kind of skeletons hiding in his closet. The trick is not letting them out, but you know what they say about secrets …”
I nod. “They always have a way of coming out.”
Milo scrunches up his face. “Nope, they always have a way of coming back and fucking you in the ass.”
I swing my door open and grin as I look back at Milo. “Seeing as you’re already in the closet with all of your secrets, maybe you should let one of them fuck you in the ass.”
Milo rolls his eyes and steps out of his Aston Martin. “Ha ha,” he says bluntly, looking at me over the roof of his car. “You’re so fucking funny, Ocean. I don’t know why I haven’t kept you around more.”
I scoff and meet him around the front of his car so we can start walking up together. “Shut up. You love it.”
Milo laughs and throws his arm over my shoulder before leading us up to the massive front gates of Bellevue Springs Academy for boys. The nosey students fall in behind us, waiting to see if I know something and will accidentally slip up, and I have to admit, I'm impressed. Usually, when there’s a secret around here, the guys forget that they’re human beings and get in my face like fucking animals until they get what they want. Maybe they’ve finally learned to stop messing with me, or maybe they just assume that the help wouldn’t know what she’s talking about. After all, we are in Bellevue Springs and just as the cops made perfectly clear, my statement and opinions mean absolutely nothing in this world.
Milo and I fall silent while being obnoxiously aware of the crowd gathering behind us. They whisper between themselves, keeping to themselves but it won’t be long before one of them grows a pair of balls.
Milo gently knocks his shoulder into mine and keeps his voice low. “Did you see Colton?”
I shake my head. “Not this morning,” I say, not ready to hash out the details of last night’s rejection. “He’s really not taking it well. He's all messed up. I wouldn’t be surprised if he locks himself away for a while.”
“He can’t do that,” Milo mutters. “The boards of Charles’ businesses will be going crazy searching for ways to get rid of him. I doubt they want an eighteen-year-old kid pulling the strings. He’s going to have to get his shit together and show them that he can do it, otherwise, he’ll lose it all.”
My brows shoot up into my hairline. “Are you serious? Can they even do that?”
“They sure as hell can, and if Colton isn’t careful he’s going to fuck up a good thing. I know he doesn’t want to be the big guy in charge of Daddy’s companies, but it’s also an opportunity that will never come around again. If one of those board members gets their hands on his position, they’ll never give it up and everything that Charles had been working on and had built will be gone.”
“Well, shit …”
“Yeah. It’s the same for all of us, except we all expect to take over for our fathers in another thirty years when they retire, but even then, they’ll still be breathing down our necks. Colton just got thrown right in the deep end without a life raft.”
Damn. No wonder he’s so fucked up right now. He has the weight of the world sitting on his shoulders and even though I should be hating on him right now for being such an ass, I can’t help but hurt for him.
Why am I so fucked up when it comes to Colton Carrington? I should be stronger than this. Hell, I grew up in Breakers Flats. Bullshit like this should have been squished the second it came to light except now I’ve allowed it to grow into some kind of beast, one that I no longer have the power to tame.
“Yo,” comes a voice from the crowded bodies behind us. “Did you do it?”
“Ignore them,” Milo mutter
s under his breath.
The voice comes again, this time with a snicker that has my blood turning cold. “Yo, babe. Did you hear me? Were you fucking around with the billionaire? Couldn’t get your claws into Colton so you tried with daddy? Hoping for a payday now that he’s gone?”
Milo’s fingers curl around my wrist with a strong grip, trying to keep me in check. “Babe,” he warns in a low tone. “Don’t you dare entertain his bullshit.”
A water bottle slams into my back and I stop in my tracks as laughter erupts behind me. “Stop fucking ignoring me, bitch. I’m talking to you.”
I spin around so fast that the group of students struggle to stop so suddenly and slam into each other. I find the guy who’s been talking by the sick grin on his face while distantly aware of the way Milo releases his grip on my wrist, more than on board now that I’ve had a bottle thrown at me.
“Oh, fuck,” Milo mutters. “Shit’s about to get real.”
I narrow my gaze on the asshole who stands proud among his group of douchebag friends. They all laugh at my reaction, but quickly sober as they take in my gaze. “What did you just say to me?” I demand, stepping forward and making a few of them take a hesitant step back.
The guy laughs as Milo steps into my back, always ready to back me if I need him. “You heard me. Were you fucking the old guy? Or was Colton in on it? He’s had a boner for you since the day you got here. I bet the two of you were in on it, right? You got Charles out of the way so you could have it all. Makes sense for a girl like you.”
“A girl like me?” I question, stepping forward again and watching as a weariness creeps into his eyes. “What exactly is a girl like me?”
His friends push him on, encouraging him to be the spokesman of the morons, and luckily for me, he takes the bait, giving me every excuse to kick his pathetic ass. “Trash,” he says, raising his chin. “Girls like you are fucking whores. You come from nothing and try to take what’s ours. You’re a fucking leech. Just like your mother. You all are.”
Cocky F*ck: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rejects Paradise Book 2) Page 3