Rebuild My Heart

by Ariel Tachna

  “You talked to my dad, didn’t you?” Ephah asked.

  “Yes. I called him while you were in the shower. For the time being, you’re going to stay here with me.”

  “In other words, he doesn’t want me unless I do as he says,” Ephah replied. “Well, forget that.”

  It wasn’t that easy, Owen knew, but he’d leave Ephah his illusions.

  “We’ll have to work things out. You still have a year of high school left, and I’m not really set up for a long-term guest, but it’ll work out. You’re safe and welcome here.”

  “I can help out around here,” Ephah said. “Ma made sure I knew how to cook and clean up after myself and—”

  “Ephah, stop. You don’t have to earn your keep. Yes, I may ask you to pitch in around the place, but it won’t be like that. And if you work in the store, I’ll pay you for your time, although you may not be comfortable with the books or some of the customers.”

  “Because you’re…. I don’t know what word to use. Grandfather doesn’t have any nice words for you.”

  “Gay is fine for now,” Owen said. “And yes, that’s why. We’re an LGBT bookstore, although we carry other books as well, and not all our customers identify in some way. They simply like the books. But I definitely have some colorful customers.”

  Ephah laughed. “You’re pretty colorful yourself.”

  Owen ran a hand over his red, white, and blue hair. “This is nothing. You should see it when it’s pink.”

  Ephah laughed again before sobering. “Grandfather says….”

  “How about we not start sentences with ‘Grandfather says’? Because whatever comes next, it will probably not be something I want to hear or you really want to say. If you have a question, ask. I won’t get upset, but ask because you’re wanting to listen to my answer. Deal?”

  “Deal.”

  “Now, what do you want to do this afternoon?”

  “Could we just stay here and watch TV or something? It’s been a long day, and I’m….”

  “Overwhelmed?” Owen suggested. He could sympathize. He remembered coming to Lexington to start his first semester at UK. He hadn’t been much older than Ephah was now and only marginally more prepared. Only now with Ephah in front of him could he see just how far he’d come since then. “That’s fine. Let me make some popcorn, and we can channel surf. Do you like sports? We could probably find a baseball game on.”

  “Baseball’s okay. It’s not basketball, but it’ll do.”

  “Just wait until basketball season starts in Lexington,” Owen said with a grin. “I’ll see if I can get us tickets to a game at Rupp. There’s nothing like it for basketball.”

  Chapter Twenty

  OWEN got Ephah settled in front of the TV, went downstairs to get them both drinks, and stuck his head back in the store. “I’ll be upstairs with my nephew, trying to get him settled, but come get me if things are busy. He’ll have to understand I have a business to run.”

  “You gonna let him stay?” Mel asked.

  “What else can I do? I’m sure not going to force him to go home as long as my brother sides with my father, and we both know how he’d fare in social services. I have no idea how we’ll make it work, but I have to try.”

  “Have you told Derek about this?”

  “Not yet, but he’s a good man. He’ll understand.” Sweet baby Jesus, let him understand.

  “So are you, Owen. Go take care of him. I’ll handle things down here.”

  “Thanks, Mel.”

  She waved him off, so he grabbed the drinks and went back upstairs to join Ephah. “Who’s playing?” he asked as he set the drinks on the table.

  “Reds and the Braves,” Ephah said. “They’re just getting started.”

  Owen leaned back on the couch and let the game play out in front of him while his thoughts raced in circles at the enormity of what he’d just committed to. He’d done the right thing, defending Ephah against Nathaniel and their father, but heaven help him, what did he know about teenagers? He could barely take care of himself some days, and now he’d taken on responsibility for a backwoods teen who wouldn’t have any idea how to deal with city life. Owen couldn’t count how many times his freshman roommate had kept him from making a fool of himself—or getting himself in serious trouble—because he was so clueless.

  Owen would do the best he could to guide Ephah, but he couldn’t be there all the time, not once Ephah started school. Kit and Phillip were seniors, if he remembered correctly. He could see about getting Ephah enrolled in the same school they were in. Then he’d know someone when he started.

  Blake might be able to help him with that. He worked at one of Lexington’s high schools. If anyone knew the best way to get Ephah enrolled quietly, since Owen didn’t exactly have legal custody—his brother’s words had been unequivocal, but Owen doubted they’d be enough in a court of law—it would be Blake.

  “Are you angry with me for coming here?” Ephah asked, interrupting his train of thought.

  “Of course not,” Owen said immediately. Scared, in over his head, worried he’d screw it up, but not angry. “I’m glad you came to me for help. I’m just trying to figure everything out.”

  “Like what?” Ephah asked. “Maybe I can help.”

  “Like where you’re going to go to school and how I’m going to get you enrolled when I don’t have any of your records or even proof you’re allowed to live with me,” Owen replied. “Like how I’m going to balance taking care of you with my job and my life.”

  “I’m not a baby. I don’t require a lot of ‘taking care of.’ You’ll barely know I’m here.”

  Owen shook his head. “I know you’re not a baby, but that doesn’t mean you know your way around Lexington. It doesn’t mean you won’t ever need help with your homework. What happens when you end up with girl troubles? Or boy troubles, depending on which is your thing.”

  “I… um….”

  “Ephah, look at me,” Owen said gently when Ephah didn’t finish his sentence. Ephah looked up slowly, every line of his body braced for a blow. “No judgment here, okay? I’m gay. We already established that. Mel, who you met downstairs in the shop, is lesbian, although she’s dated a few men. The man I’m dating is bi. His boss is married to another man, who is hopefully going to help get your school situation straightened out. The yoga instructor at the studio I go to for exercise is trans. Girls, boys, both, or neither, I don’t care, and neither will anyone you meet here at the shop.”

  “Do you know anyone who isn’t…?”

  “Queer?” Owen finished. “Sure. I’ll introduce you to Phillip on Monday. He’s one of the boys who’s working on remodeling the basement, although I’m not sure he’s the best role model at the moment. He was having girl trouble at the party on Thursday.”

  “At least that’s familiar,” Ephah said with a stuttered laugh.

  “Is that why you ran away from home?” Owen teased. “Girl trouble?”

  Ephah shot him a black look. “Like I could get in any kind of trouble with Grandfather’s shadow over everything. No girl would want to get involved with me, because it would either mean never doing anything more than holding hands or getting married off before we could blink.”

  “His shadow doesn’t reach this far,” Owen promised, “but Lexington is a very different world from Bailey Switch, and living with me is going to make it even more different than it might be otherwise. Are you up for that?”

  “I’ll have to be, won’t I?” Ephah asked. “It’s not like I have a bunch of other options.”

  “Not obvious ones anyway,” Owen replied, “but again, Blake—Mr. Barnes to you until he gives you permission to use his first name—might be able to think of some options I didn’t, if that’s what you want. This will be your home too, and I want you to be comfortable here, even if it’s just for a year until you start college. Even if in a few months, you change your mind and decide to go back to Bailey Switch.”

  “That’s not gonna happen,” E
phah said adamantly. “Tell me about the guy you’re… dating.”

  “His name’s Derek. I asked him to come over after dinner so you can meet him. We haven’t been dating long, but I really like him. He’s this big, burly construction worker, but he’s also the sweetest man I’ve ever met.” Owen flushed when he realized how he probably sounded to Ephah. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get carried away.”

  “Nah, don’t apologize. You sound just like John when he talks about his girlfriend. The way Grandfather always described it, I couldn’t imagine why someone would want to be gay, but listening to you, it’s not like that at all.”

  Owen debated pointing out all the things wrong with Ephah’s statement, from the danger of taking his grandfather’s word for anything to the idea that being gay was a choice, but that would miss the point entirely. Ephah was open-minded enough to listen to Owen and reconsider the opinions he’d grown up with. They’d start there and move to the rest later.

  “I’ll introduce you to Kit and Phillip on Monday. They live with their uncle too, and they’re helping Derek with the work here. That’ll give you someone to hang out with besides your old uncle.”

  Ephah laughed. “You’re not old, Uncle Uri—Uncle Owen. You’re, what? Ten years older than me?”

  “A little more than that,” Owen replied, “but isn’t anyone over twenty-one ancient when you’re a teenager?”

  “Maybe in Bailey Switch, but even I can tell you’re too cool to be old.”

  DEREK grinned as he walked around to the side door of Owen’s house. He hadn’t expected to see Owen again until tomorrow when he came over for dinner with Brian, but he definitely wasn’t complaining about Owen’s invitation. He’d stopped by the drug store on the way over to restock their supply of condoms because they’d finished Owen’s box the last time they made love.

  He knocked on the door, his smile widening as Owen answered. He was already leaning in for a kiss when he noticed the strained expression on Owen’s face. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “It’s a long story,” Owen said. “Come in and I’ll tell you.”

  Derek followed him inside and set the bag on the counter. What had seemed like foresight on his way over now seemed like presumption, and he fought the urge to apologize.

  “Oh, good,” Owen said when he caught sight of the bag. “I didn’t have time to go out today—things got a little complicated. You want a beer? This isn’t going to be a short conversation.”

  “Sure,” Derek said, pushing down rising unease. Owen didn’t seem upset at him, and he’d been glad to see the condoms, so he didn’t think Owen was breaking up with him, but something was definitely going on.

  Owen popped the caps on two beers and handed one to Derek. “Remember how I told you about my nephews and that one of them was going to be eighteen soon?”

  Derek nodded.

  “Well, he showed up here today because he couldn’t face the thought of having to handle the snakes,” Owen said. “He doesn’t have anywhere else to go.”

  Derek didn’t blame the kid for not wanting to handle snakes, but this wasn’t a complication he could have foreseen. “No other relatives?”

  Owen shook his head. “I’m the only one who’s left town and stayed away. I mean, we probably have some distant cousins, but no one Ephah would know.”

  “What are you going to do?” Derek asked.

  “What can I do?” Owen said. “I can’t make him go back there, and he doesn’t have anywhere else. He’ll be a senior this year. I can deal with a teenager for a year before he goes off to college, can’t I?” he asked tentatively before his face fell. “God, Derek, what am I going to do?”

  Derek pushed aside his own reservations and pulled Owen into his arms. “You’ll figure it out,” he murmured into Owen’s hair. “You don’t have to do it alone, okay?”

  “Okay.” Owen lifted his head for a kiss, which Derek gave him willingly. He didn’t know what this would mean for them, but right now Owen needed something he could give.

  Owen pulled back at the sound of footsteps on the stairs, tightening Derek’s nerves another notch. Owen had never pulled away from him like that before. “Ephah, you can come down if you want. We’re just talking.”

  They hadn’t been just talking, but Derek had watched Kit and Phillip pull faces at Thane often enough to figure Ephah would react the same way. A slim, willowy kid with the same brown eyes as Owen’s and sandy brown hair came through the door into the kitchen, his shoulders hunched and his hands shoved into his jeans pockets.

  “Ephah, this is Derek Jackson. I told you about him earlier. Derek, this is Ephah, my oldest nephew.”

  “Pleased to meet you, sir,” Ephah said, holding out his hand awkwardly. Derek shook it, making sure not to squeeze too tightly.

  “Nice to meet you too, Ephah. And you don’t have to call me sir. Derek is fine. I hear you’ve had a bit of an adventure.”

  “Yes, sir. But Uncle… Uncle Owen was nice enough to let me stay.”

  “I’ll have to empty out the spare room upstairs as soon as the basement is far enough along to move some things in so I can get a bed for Ephah,” Owen told Derek. “He can’t be expected to sleep on my pullout couch forever.”

  And there went having sex at Owen’s house. The couch was in the sitting area at the top of the stairs that led directly into Owen’s bedroom. No way Derek would feel comfortable knowing the teen was in the next room, just a thin wall and thinner door separating them. “I have an old bedframe you can use, once you have space for it. You’ll still have to get a mattress, but that’ll be one less expense. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s better than putting the mattress on the floor.”

  “Thanks, Derek,” Owen said with a soft smile. “We really appreciate it. It’s going to be a big adjustment for both of us.”

  For Derek too. Was it really too much to ask to have someone of his own for more than a few days?

  Chapter Twenty-One

  DEREK almost called Brian and told him not to come to dinner on Sunday, since he and Owen had decided it would be too much for Ephah so soon after his arrival. Owen had offered to leave Ephah at home and come alone so he could meet Brian, but Derek couldn’t be that selfish. Ephah needed Owen more than Derek did right now. He could handle a little disappointment, and he’d still get to have dinner with his brother even if it wasn’t followed by seduction and hopefully a declaration like he’d planned. Those plans were on hold, not canceled.

  Brian knocked and walked in without waiting for Derek to answer. “Is your boy not here yet?”

  Derek rolled his eyes. “Okay, first, he’s not my boy. He’s a grown man who owns his own business. Just because he’s a little younger than I am doesn’t make him a boy. And second, he had to cancel. His nephew showed up at his house completely unexpectedly.”

  “He could have brought the kid. Unless he’s ashamed of you?”

  “No, it’s not that. I met him yesterday. Owen called me right away. But Ephah isn’t here for a visit. He ran away from an abusive situation. If Owen has his way, he’s not going back.”

  Brian let out a low whistle. “That’s not what you were signing up for.”

  “No,” Derek admitted, “even if I feel like a selfish asshole for thinking it.”

  “Hey, that’s my brother you’re talking about.”

  Derek punched Brian on the shoulder, but the unconditional support helped. “I know fuck-all about kids. I always figured if I did have them, I’d at least get a say in the decision.”

  “You’re that serious about Owen?” Brian asked.

  “I could be. You know what it was like, always feeling like we were outsiders, even in our own home. It was always Preston first and us second, if Marlene remembered us at all.”

  “We’re not kids anymore.”

  “I know, but I don’t need my love life to be a repeat of my childhood. I don’t want to be an afterthought to the most important person in my life,” Derek snapped.

  “I get
it, Derek. You know I do. I’m just saying it doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing thing. Just because he’s got the kid doesn’t mean you’ll be an afterthought. I mean, if nothing else, if you’re living together, he’ll sleep next to you every night, no matter what he does with the kid during the day. And if the kid’s old enough to run away and get to his uncle’s, he’s not a baby, so you’re not talking about eighteen years or more. You’re talking however many it takes until he finishes high school and goes off to college or gets a place of his own. You were out of the house at eighteen.”

  “He’s in high school,” Derek said. “Owen said he’s a senior.”

  “So you’re looking at a year,” Brian said. “Even if he goes to UK or Transy and lives at home, he’ll be an adult at that point, not a kid dependent on his uncle for everything.”

  “Preston is still pretty damn dependent.”

  “Preston is a spoiled man-child who will never leave the nest because Marlene will never let him,” Brian said. “You can’t judge anyone else by him.”

  Brian was right, and Derek was being the selfish ass he’d spent the afternoon telling himself not to be. “If I do this and things go wrong, I end up screwed. Right now I could still walk away. It would hurt, but I wouldn’t be completely heartbroken. The longer things go on, the more I’m going to fall for him, and the more it will hurt when he chooses his nephew over me.”

  “You don’t know he’ll make that choice.”

  “I couldn’t live with myself if he made any other choice,” Derek said.

  “Not what I meant, idiot. I meant he doesn’t have to choose. You’ll both have to share your time, but if you’re in it together, you spend time together while you’re spending time with him. It’s not a matter of choosing one over the other, but choosing to have both together.”

  “Yeah, maybe.”

  “Yeah, really,” Brian said. “Ask Thane if you don’t believe me. He’s got those hellions of his and a happy marriage.”