by A. M. Brooks
We pulled up in Logan’s Jeep. People were already pouring in from every direction. Beer pong was set up in the front yard next to a half-mile long slip-n-slide that sent participants into the pool out back. Meek Mill’s “House Party” was on blast inside the house. I grin as the beat pulses through my body. Roxy was set up to DJ tonight so everyone would be dancing. She was the only one I knew who actually could mix a rock song with some rap and vice versa. Somehow she always made it work.
Inside the home, a slight haze hung in the air and the furniture was pushed against the wall leaving space for the dance floor. A few kegs were lined up to the side, while bodies moved from room to room. In the back of the house, a pool table sat and I knew that’s where I would find the guys if they were here. Joey had said they would be, but as usual they hadn’t said anything to me all day. I hesitate to walk back there even though part of me wants to show them I couldn’t care less if they were home, just like they couldn’t have cared less all summer that I was here by myself.
Instead, I let Jenna pull me over to the kegs. Weaving through the crowd, I earn a few head nods and I recognize some of the people from my grade that just graduated. Yup, everyone comes back for a Marco party. With our cups full, I listen to the girls talk about the different boys they want to hook up with. I make sure to nod and grin where acceptable. All the while, I can’t help scanning the crowd.
I easily spot Roxy’s purple fauxhawk, bobbing in time to Des Rocs’ “Let Me Live/Let Me Die” that she was mixing in. The crowd was loving it. I find Marco standing close to the DJ table as well, and lift my glass in salute. He smiles and gives me a nod before turning back to the person on his left. My eyes shift and I do a double take. Marco’s head is tilted toward Detective McCall. He hasn’t noticed me yet so I use this time to let my eyes wander over Jay. He looks casual and delicious at the same time. His denim jeans hang low on his hips, a plain white T-shirt stretches across his broad chest and ends just a hair below his belt line. His closely cropped hair is covered in a backward navy blue NVU baseball hat with a flat bill. As my eyes rake him up and down, they touch briefly on the silver dog tags hanging from his neck. Everything about Jay causes my blood to heat. An energy runs through my veins and I bite my lip to keep in the moan I want to release just from looking at him. My eyes are caught by Marco, who’s now looking from Jay to me. I turn away, my cheeks flushing pink. How were Marco and Jay connected already?
I don’t have time to think about it before a strong arm lands around my shoulders, and I’m turned into Joey’s side. His button-down shirt is open showing off his lean frame under his white muscle tank with his blond hair gelled in spikes over the top of his head. With his arm around me he wolfishly smiles at Jenna who had been separated from Logan when we got in the house.
“Hey Blaise,” he says, giving me a small peck on the side of my head. “Hey ladies.”
“Hi Joey,” Jenna responds, lifting her chin a notch. She was not going to let him walk all over her for once. I like that she was giving Joey a hard time. He needed a taste of his own medicine sometimes. Using my elbow, I give Joey a shove in the side.
“Ahh,” he says laughing, his arm dropping to grab my hand. “Guys want to say hello,” he tells me, turning so we’re face to face, his head inclines toward the back. My skin prickles with awareness. My eyes slide over Joey’s shoulder, my gaze colliding with Jay’s. He’s watching me intently despite the busty blonde who was now grinding against his dick like she was trying to get off. I snap my eyes back to Joey.
“Okay,” I say, shrugging my shoulders. I can’t fight the irritation that was crawling up my throat from seeing Jay and that chick. It’s not like we are together. We had only been together once and only one of us seemed to remember. His idea from yesterday that we should be friends seemed far-fetched when neither of us was making moves to even look friendly.
“Later ladies,” Joey announces before tugging me behind him through the crowd. People part to let us pass. The hall becomes darker the farther away from the main room we get while verses from Kid Rock’s “Cowboy” float in the air. I hear the clang of the pool balls bouncing against each other before we reach the alcove, causing my heart to speed up. Rounding the corner, a small group hovers around a pool table, behind them, I see the top of Stone’s head.
At six feet four inches, he was always a little taller than the other guys. His jet black hair, normally shoulder length, was pulled in a bun. Dressed in all black, he was an intense sight. Antonio, his cousin, sat in a chair with a redhead in his lap who was dressed to the nines and not for a house party. Even though Stone and Antonio were related, their personalities are complete opposites. Toni is the jokester who is always easy going and he functions best after hitting a bowl. His hair is kept short with buzzed designs on the sides. Toni also prefers to wear as little as possible. Even now, he wore a pair of jeans with no shirt and flip-flops. His tattoos are visible to everyone, and that’s how he likes it, is my guess. Stone radiated control and dominance. It was rare he smiled, but when he did, it was blinding. Many women fall for the smile, but they never last longer than a week. Same for all these guys, except Joey, and they never let him forget he was pussy whipped. All their personalities balance each other out. Only now they were missing two in the group.
When they finally see me, Toni jumps up first, his date glaring at me from the ground where she lands. “Blaisy!” he yells before grabbing me up in a huge hug and spinning me around.
“Whoa.” I laugh, slapping his shoulders to set me back down.
“Sorry, little Palmer, just missed you,” he says. His voice was drawn out, and I could tell he already had a few hits tonight. His eyes are glassy as he smiles at me.
“Still could have called,” I tell him, ignoring the way his smile falls.
“We all should have called,” Stone’s deep voice echoes behind us. We turn to look at him. Toni sits back down, pulling his friend back into his lap. Joey stands off to the side watching. His gaze slides between us and the game at the pool table.
“Would have been nice,” I reply, meeting Stone’s grey eyes. He looks me over before nodding his head.
“Does it help if we say it was hard on us to lose Blake, too?” he asks. Blake’s name rolling off his tongue sends a jolt of pain through my heart. I keep eye contact, trying to read him. As usual, Stone is closed off, his face a mask, giving nothing away.
“I missed you,” I finally say, looking around at all three of them. Joey and Antonio both nod in agreement while looking at the floor. Emotions are not their favorite thing and this situation was getting group hug worthy.
“Well, we’re back now,” Stone says, stepping closer to me. Our chests were almost touching. I realize this was the most physical contact I’d had with him since we were kids. There was something about Stone that screamed danger. I was never sure if it was because he was older than us or because he always was so guarded, but I could never understand him, never could figure out his next move. Right now, I had to fight the urge to take a step back, feeling like I’d lose some undeclared battle if I did.
Before he could say anything else, Molly and Jenna run in grabbing my arms. “Blaise! C’mon, it’s our song, let’s shake our asses!” Jenna yells as they usher me away. I look back and all three were on their feet watching me. Ignoring the chills zipping across my skin, I smile and wave hoping it eases the tension of us being interrupted. Secretly, I was happy to go to the dance floor. This night was one surprise after another, and I need to get the anxiety and resentment out of my system.
I quickly chug the beer I have left and feel it burn my chest as it goes down. It has been a while since I partied. The two drinks already are making me feel light and tipsy. Jenna tugs me to the middle of the dance floor where Aubree was already grinding on one guy. My hips find the rhythm in Ty Dolla $ign’s “Paranoid,” and soon all the crap from earlier leaves my head and I live in the moment. Something I haven’t done for months.
I almost lost my f
ooting when two strong hands find my hips and pulls my body back, right into a strong wall. Without looking, I know it’s Jay holding me. He smells like fresh air, mint gum and a hint of beer. His body surrounds me and I lean into him, absorbing the feel of him. His hips move against mine seductively causing shivers to run up my arms despite the warmth in the room. The feeling is similar to the first time we met. I stiffen slightly at the thought. Sensing the change, he bends his head down until his chin rests on my shoulder, the bill of his hat rubbing against my hair.
“Don’t think,” he whispers into my ear. I smile and decide he’s right. I don’t want to think. There is no harm in enjoying his muscled arms around my waist and following his lead to the music. Before I close my eyes, giving in completely, I spot Stone and Joey watching me from the shadow of the hallway. Once meeting my eyes, they both turn and walk away to the backroom.
“Good job, Blaise,” Jay murmurs against the side of my neck, sending tingles flying down my body. I turn to look at him, confused, instead he pulls me tighter to him. I’ll probably have fingertip bruises on my sides from where he grips me, and strangely the idea is appealing. My buzz relaxes me even when warning bells are trying to signal my brain. Jay is warm and holds me together. I decide to ignore everything else.
A soft feminine snore wakes me up. Through the dark blinds, the sun is visible, causing my eyes to water before grimacing in pain. Red numbers from the clock across the room reads nine a.m. My head is pounding from the last few shots the girls had insisted we do at Marco’s. I shift myself up on my elbows and notice I’m in Jenna’s room on the futon. Aubree and Jenna are lying the long way across the bed in various disarray in their clothes from last night and yoga pajama pants. I have no idea where Molly is. Vague images of her deciding to go with a guy from the party, float in my memory. I frown.
I gingerly push myself to a sitting position before going into Jenna’s bathroom to freshen up. My eyes lock on the mirror, I sweep a hand threw my hair before realizing there was no helping this mess. I groan, leaning my head against my reflection as I run some cold water in the sink. I quickly doused my face with water and swish some in my mouth, swallowing a little to help ease the sandpapery feel. I use a tissue to wipe the black eyeliner from under my eyes, hoping it makes me look less of a raccoon. It’s all coming back to me, why I didn’t miss going to parties.
The girls are still sleeping when I’m done, so I grab my jeans off the floor and leave the skirt Jenna had loaned me. Quietly, I sneak down the stairs only to find Logan waiting in the kitchen. “Breakfast is ready,” he calls, waving at me with a spatula. I debate with myself if I really need to stay, before giving in and walking over to him. He piles eggs and bacon on a plate before handing it to me. I half expect my stomach to roll instead it growls in hunger.
“Wow,” I say. “He chauffeurs and he cooks.” Logan tilts his head back with a deep laugh.
“Anything for my girls,” he replies, sending me a wink. I roll my eyes in response before sitting at the island and taking a few bites. The kid could cook.
“Good?” he asks.
“Mhmm.” I nod my head, my mouth stuffed full.
“Glad you like it,” he responds before going back to cracking more eggs in the pan. “Hey, who was that guy at Marco’s last night?” he asks, turning to me.
I shrug at first. Do I tell Logan the story Jay had handed to me? I’m still not sure how believable it is. “I think he’s working at Sarge’s ranch part-time,” I tell him, keeping my face blank, and thankful for the food in front of me so I can avoid eye contact.
“Oh,” Logan says. “I thought he was fixing parts at Rowley’s in town. Doesn’t he live in the apartment above the garage?”
This was news to me. How close Jay was actually staying to my home for some reason gave me butterflies. I shrug again, not really sure how to answer. “Maybe.”
“Maybe what?” Jenna asks, breezing into the kitchen. I’m pretty sure she drank more than me last night, yet somehow she looks completely refreshed, like she stepped out of a spa.
“The new guy at Marco’s,” Logan answers her.
“Oh! Hottie McHotterson!” she says, gushing over the nickname she gave Jay. I feel my cheeks heat.
“He’s okay, I guess,” Logan says, frowning at Jenna. She laughs before throwing her arms around his waist.
“Don’t worry, baby,” she reassures him. “I think you are very HOT, besides, I believe he is taken.” Jenna looks at me pointedly, a slight smirk on her face.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I say, concentrating again on my food.
“You dirty danced with him all night!” Jenna practically yells, swishing her hips at the same time.
“We did not,” I respond, rolling my eyes and keeping my voice neutral, trying to defend myself.
“Blaise,” she says, pointing a finger at me. “He was all over you.”
The image she conjures in my mind makes my blush deepen. The room feels warmer. I hadn’t thought much about last night thanks to the beers and tequila. It had been fantastic and I knew I had been sad when Jay left our group early. It didn’t cross my mind last night, but today I remember he left when Stone, Joey, and Antonio did.
“It was just dancing,” I tell them, shoving the last piece of egg in my mouth. “I barely know him.”
I need to remember Jay was here for a job. A job involving my brother’s possible murder, no less. And he still doesn’t remember me, but at this point, it was a good thing. There were too many blurred lines already. Even I knew Jay had to be in his mid-twenties and would probably freak if he knew he had randomly hooked up with a “just turned eighteen that day” girl. No, it was probably best if we didn’t cross paths too often, unless it had to do with helping my brother’s case. Sadly, even as my mind thinks the words, my heart speeds up and my body does that weird warm flush remembering how good he had felt against me last night.
“Well, thanks for breakfast and the hangover,” I say to Jenna and Logan, offering a salute before leaving the kitchen. I need to be in my own space and let my head deflate a little.
Like always, the apartment is empty when I get home. A scribbled note is on the counter from my mom saying she has gone out of town with friends and would be back Monday. I make my way to my room and turn the fan on. Even in September, living in the desert has its hot days. Before I draw my blinds, I looked at the building adjacent to ours where Logan said Jay was staying. Those blinds were up too, but the place looks dark inside. Shrugging to myself, I swallow some Advil before I lay down and let the dark bliss take me.
I haven’t seen Jay since the party. More than a week has passed. I know it shouldn’t matter and I keep reminding myself why he was really here. The guys stop in regularly at Señor Locos to see me and their group of friends. Tonight, I recognize one of their friends as an ex running back from the neighboring town’s football team. All of the girls flock to him, seeing as he is ‘new meat’. It reminds me of Jenna and the other servers the night Jay first came to town.
I sigh, hating how my mind always seems to gravitate to Jay since the night of the party. It would be stupid of me to assume he felt the same electricity between us, but I was dying to know more about him. I wasn’t going to lie, as much as I want to see him, I also want to know if anything new had come up in Blake’s case. I dry another glass while deciding after my shift that I’ll go to the apartment above the garage to find him. I was tired of waiting around.
“You almost done, Blaise?” Toni’s voice breaks through my train of thought.
“Yup, just about,” I respond, turning around to finish placing the clean glass on the rack.
“Want to go to Scar with us?” he asks, eyeing me hopefully. We haven’t talked much since the party and I haven’t actually hung out with the guys since they’d been back. Instead, I’ve been working and keeping to myself, skeptical of everyone and everything around me. Maybe I could use a break?
“Okay,” I tell him, shrugging. Toni looks at
me, surprised. “What?” I ask, arching my eyebrow daring him to say something. I know I’m not exactly Miss Personality these days, but no way is he allowed to comment.
“Nothing,” he says, giving me his lazy smile. “Just will be nice to have everyone together since… well, you know…” His voice trails off, but his meaning isn’t lost on me. It would be the first time we have all been together hanging out since before Blake died. Well, almost all of us.
No one has asked me about Seth lately and I still haven’t heard from him. I constantly feel on edge about it. Having my mom gone for a few days didn’t help. Not that she was a huge presence in my life, but the apartment felt eerily quiet, and goosebumps chase across my flesh when I feel as if I’m being watched, which was frequently.
“Yeah,” I say, my voice is scratchy, swallowing around the lump in my throat. “So eleven, as usual?”
“You know it! I’ll pick you up. Stone and Joey are going early to check out a car. They’ll meet us there,” he says while tapping the bar with his long index finger.
“Okay. I’m off at nine, I’ll be ready.” I nod.
“See you later, Blaisey,” he says, throwing me a goofy smile over his shoulder. I smile and shake my head. I deserved to have some time with the guys. Maybe they will bring up Seth and then I can have some information for Jay. Jay.
“Get a grip, Palmer,” I whisper to myself while mentally slapping my forehead.
Looking around the restaurant, I could see only a few booths were filled. The day had been dragging by slowly. I catch my reflection in the mirror over the bar, then decide that if I was going out tonight, I would definitely need some time to make myself look presentable. Fry grease and beer stains did not do anything for my complexion.