by A. M. Brooks
“Blaise!” I hear Toni yell from the other side.
“Just a sec!” I yell back, frantically shoving my arms into my leather jacket.
Thrusting the deadbolt out of the way, I almost crashed right into Toni.
“Whoa!” He laughs. “Are you okay?”
“Fine.” I shrug, following him out into the cool air. “Just overslept.”
“I figured something happened when you didn’t respond right away. Hope it’s okay I just showed up,” he tells me as we get into his car.
“It’s fine,” I reassure him. “Sorry I didn’t respond. Luis sent me home early. I meant to take a short nap, but I must have been more tired than I thought.”
“It’s all good.” He smiles at me, the dim light from the dashboard lighting up his face. “The guys are already on their way there. Joe might be racing as a fill-in. Not sure yet.”
“Okay.” I smile back, trying to calm my breathing down. My phone vibrates again in my pocket and I ignore it. Toni’s eyes slide to me, but he doesn’t say anything. True to form Toni cranks on System Of A Down’s “Chop Suey” while speeding out of town toward the desert.
Scar is lit up, the variety of headlights dotting across the area mirroring the image of the night sky. The bass in the background reaches us before we even cross over the peak and head toward the crowd. Any sense of being tired completely vanishes as the excitement washes over me.
“Beer?” Toni asks, handing me an unopen can from his backpack.
“Sure,” I say, taking it and appreciating the fact it was somewhat still cold. We walk our way through the crowd to the familiar group of people by the sidelines.
“Nah,” Joey says, scratching his hand through his hair. “It shouldn’t make that click noise when you downshift.”
“I agree,” a guy next to him replies.
“Do we have time to get that part changed?” Stone asks them, leaning over the car now as well.
“I don’t know?” Joey leans back, looking exasperated. “If we send Jerome to talk to Lion, maybe we could get an extra, but it would cost us.”
“Do it.” Stone nods with authority. The other guy backs up from the car and pulls a phone out of his pocket.
“Issues already?” Toni asks. They all turn to us, noticing we just arrived.
“Hey, little B,” Joey says before throwing his arm around me in a side hug. I sink into him briefly while nodding at Stone who acknowledges me with a salute, still leaning over the car.
“They’ll figure it out,” I tell Toni. I’m very confident in Joey’s ability to fix a car. His brain works wonders around anything mechanical.
“We should talk before Jerome gets back,” Stone announces. I feel Joey tense next to me. My eyes catch Toni’s and a flicker of fear sparks in his.
I clear my throat. “I just got a really weird text from Seth. I’m worried about him. I know you guys said you hadn’t heard from him. It just freaked me out.” I watch as Stone’s gaze flits over the guys. His brain working rapidly. I didn’t lie per se.
“What exactly did he say?” Stone asks me.
“It didn’t say anything. Just something about loyalty?” I lie this time. Seth’s cryptic message did scare me. The fact that he clearly has a new cell phone and is still hiding freaks me out. What scares me the most though is that he is right. I shouldn’t trust anyone. The only person I trusted with my life is no longer here and his death is a giant question mark.
“He’s off his rocker since Blake,” Joey says quietly, pulling me closer to him in a hug.
“We all didn’t handle it well, but it hit Seth extra hard. They’d known each other since elementary,” Toni responds, his eyes glazing over.
“I wouldn’t put much thought into it,” Stone replies, shrugging. “If he keeps bothering you though, let me know.” I nod. The mood around us shifts, each of us lost in our own thoughts. My body starts to relax when I feel Joey give me another squeeze causing me to look up at him.
“What the hell is that?” Toni practically growls. My head whips in his direction, but he’s looking behind me. I slowly turn, trying to maneuver out of Joey’s grip. I still as an angry flush spreads over my chest up to my brain, which is shortcircuiting. A red haze clouds my vision while dread fills my stomach. Jay arrived, and he wasn’t alone. A leggy brunette was attached at his hip. She was dressed impeccably in designer jeans, Ugg boots, and a name brand pink jacket. I recognized her from around town. She usually stopped into Locos with a group of people on Saturdays. The college crowd, we called them. His arm was draped across her shoulders and she held his dangling hand.
“Blaisey,” Joey says next to my ear, trying to get my attention, but it’s no use. I’m transfixed on the sight in front of me. My eyes shoot daggers at the chick by Jay’s side. When my blues clash with his brown eyes, I swear his flash with triumph.
Come here he mouths, not taking his gaze from mine. I raise my eyebrow at him, tilting my chin before giving him my back.
“Asshole,” I mutter to myself, trying to push back the burn of tears.
“Want us to kill him? Maybe maim him or something?” Joey asks, leaning down. His face looks serious, but I can read the playfulness in his tone. I smile, ignoring the vibrating from my phone in my pocket.
“Not today. Just kick their asses in the race.” I nod toward the car.
“That won’t be a problem.” Toni laughs before closing the hood. He steps back and comes to stand next to me. Joey gives me a final squeeze before jumping into the driver’s seat. We watch as he pulls away and gets situated at the starting line.
“That’s a badass car,” Stone murmurs next to me, but I’m not paying attention.
With the race starting, I now have a clear line of sight on Jay and the girl again. She’s burrowed into his side, chatting away happily. She doesn’t even seem to notice that he’s not paying attention. We’re locked in a silent battle. His arm drops from her shoulders and settles down to her waist, his hand flexing at her side. I shudder, remembering how it feels to have his hands at my waist, his fingers gripping me tightly.
Phone, he mouths to me and I shake my head. He’s baiting me to do what he wants and I’m not falling for it. His eyes narrow, the brown turning almost black. He’s pissed. He dips his head down until his lips are a whisper away from her neck. Pain slices across my chest. I tear my eyes away, forcing myself to pay attention to what is happening on the track instead.
“How many people are racing tonight?” I ask Stone.
“Three more after Joe’s,” he responds, never taking his gaze from the car. I nod again and push myself to watch. No surprise that Joey is leading again and will probably win. I don’t feel in the mood to be here anymore though. I allow myself another glance and find Jay and her still cozied up.
“I need some air… fumes, you know,” I tell Stone who just nods, barely paying me any attention.
“I’m going up to the lookout,” I tell Toni, who smiles and nods at me.
After making my way out of the crowd, I find the ledge and follow it up to the peak called the Look Out. From here I can see the race below and more of the track as it disappears around the corner. No crowd and the chill from the fall breeze cools the simmering heat beneath my skin. The solitude is comforting.
“Palmer, right?” a deep voice speaks next to me. I watch as he walks out of the shadows before leaning his long form against the boulder next to me. His dirty blonde hair is long on top and cropped short on the sides. The tight white t-shirt he wears under a yellow and black riding jacket pulls tightly against his chest. A few swirls of dark ink underneath can be seen through the material. His jaw is square and hard. The smile on his full pink lips matches the laugh, and his baby blues are the color of the ocean.
“Do I know you?” I ask, feigning boredom. This dude looks like the all –American dream boy turned bad-boy.
“Probably not,” he says, laughing, the sound is deep and warm. “I see you’re running with the Baby-Face crew.” He
nods down below us.
“Who?” I question, completely confused.
“Did you pay attention in history class?” he asks before taking a cigarette from his jacket and lighting up. I shrug in response. “Baby Face Nelson was a leader of a gang in the 30s. They robbed banks and were murderers.”
“Why was he called Baby Face?” I ask, playing along.
“His face had a youthful look. He was young,” the guy says, shrugging. “Just like Stone, Antonio, and Joseph.”
I laugh. “They’re hardly a gang,” I tell him, smirking.
His head cocks to the side. “You really don’t know, do you?” he asks, a hint of a smile curving his mouth. I let my face fall blank, refusing to answer. “Everyone at this track has their hands in something illegal, Blaise. It’s why they come here. Drugs, guns, illegal racing, betting, gambling, money. It’s how this place thrives.”
“I just come here to watch my friends race,” I tell him, not sure who I’m really defending.
His eyes slide over me, questions bouncing back and forth in his brain. “True. Those guys though… They’re a big deal in Vegas.”
Now, it’s my turn to laugh again. “They work at a hotel.”
“Sure,” he says, smirking. I’m really starting to not like this guy.
“And, you would know how?” I demand.
“Blake,” he says, dropping my brother’s name in the space between us. My mouth slams shut. “Doesn’t McCall tell you anything?”
“Hardly,” I tell him, annoyed. “You know Jay, too?” I ask, biting my lip.
“You could say that. We’re all friends, sort of.” He scratches his head with his free hand, flicking ashes with the other. “We’re friends. I was in high school when I first met McCall. I helped him by being his informant. Fucked up my race career in the end, but it helped stop many drug dealers and murderers, so I guess it was worth it,” he replies before taking a long drag. His story starts to click in my brain. Memories of Blake telling me the story about the motocross racer who was framed with drug charges by his girlfriend. It was the second offense and even though he was proven innocent, he still lost his career. He went off the map after that. He was rumored to be in illegal activities as a ‘fuck you’ to the system. Blake spoke of him like they were friends.
My eyes wander farther over the guy, resting on his knuckles where SCAR was inked. “You’re Trent Nichols,” I say, rather than ask.
He winks at me. “You’re Blake’s little sister. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“How?” My voice is thick with emotion, strangling my vocal cords.
“We both knew McCall. Spent a lot of time together working out the case,” he answers.
My shoulders fall. “You’re a cop?”
“Sometimes.” He shrugs. Undercover. “Been doing this for a while. There never seems to be an end point to this case. Drugs always seem to pop up. New rulers soon follow and a wake of bodies are left behind. That’s why I’m here to tell you not to trust anyone. Not even the ones you feel most loyal to.”
“Can I trust Jay?” I ask the question that’s been heaviest on my heart. Our eyes connect, and I know Trent can read all my secrets and what Jay means to me. His head falls back. He breathes out a cloud of smoke before flicking his cigarette to the ground.
“Blake did,” Trent answers. “In my experience though, don’t trust anybody. It’s the best way to stay alive.”
Tears blur my vision. Alone again, I let them fall silently down my face. I have no idea which way is up. Who is the enemy and who is on my side? I’m on my own and I feel like I’m being pulled in half between my past and my future. I want to cry and scream out all the pain and agony that’s been trapped inside me for the past six months. Out here in the desert, in the middle of nowhere, where no one would witness the epic meltdown that I was harboring.
Trent…Don’t trust anyone.
Seth…Don’t trust anyone.
Jay…Trust me.
Picking myself up from off the rock, I slide my fingers across my cheeks, destroying the evidence that a single tear fell. Trent is long gone and the noise from the crowd below only signals what I already knew would happen. The race was over and Joey won. I just don’t have it in me to be excited anymore. I slide my phone out of my pocket and ignore the three more calls and ten texts from Jay. Shooting a quick text to Toni, I let him know I’m not feeling good and heading home early. After the good head fuck, my stomach is a roiling mass of queasiness. So, it’s not a lie. I shoot another text to Joey congratulating him on the win. Once I make it to the road, I realize what a dumbass move that was as I arrived with Toni.
“Great,” I mutter to myself, trying to decide if the walk is worth it or if I could run in these boots. My body comes to a halt at the rev of a bike engine right as it pulls up in front of me, cutting off my path. Jay balances the machine between his legs and wordlessly hands me the extra black helmet from the back.
My fingers brush the hard plastic hesitantly before firmly taking it and sliding it over my head. I grip Jay’s jacket while slinging my leg over the seat. The design of the motorbike stations my seat higher, forcing me forward into Jay’s body. I wrap my arms around his middle and lay my head at his back. There is no use fighting gravity in this situation. Jay takes off and brings us back into town, past the main street shopping and bars, past the two churches, and post office before turning onto my street. When he parks and cuts the engine, I scramble off the seat, gently lobbing the helmet onto the back.
“Thanks,” I offer before speed walking to my door. Jay moves stealth-like and I don’t hear him behind me until it’s too late. He grips my arms and swings me around until my back hits the door, and we’re standing chest to chest. He’s breathing heavily, his eyes shining in the darkness around us.
“Let me in,” he says quietly. His voice gravelly to my ears.
“Where’s your new flavor?” I tip my head to the side while attempting to bring my hand to his chest.
“Did I get your attention?” he asks, his jaw clenched. Blood surges to my cheeks when I remember the flare of jealousy and possessiveness I felt with his arm wrapped around her.
“That’s all she was,” he tells me, his hands gripping the sides of my face. “I lost her the minute I couldn’t find you anymore.”
“Don’t play games with me,” I warn him, my fingers gripping his wrists. Heat flashes in his eyes.
“Stop fighting me. I’m not going anywhere. I can’t always tell you everything right away because I don’t want to lie to you. You’re already in way too deep and I’m not putting your life on the line. Trust me,” he demands before he smashes his mouth down to mine, lifting my body into his at the same time.
I struggle on my tiptoes and I’m forced to grip his jacket for balance. The sharp intake of breath is the perfect opportunity for Jay to push his tongue into my mouth. This kiss is fierce and intoxicatingly different than when he’s kissed me before. It’s not claiming, but staking his ownership. His lips push and pull against mine, teeth bite at the sensitive part of my lower lip, and I can’t stop the moan that leaks out. It’s all Jay needed though. He has the door open and is back on me before I can question how the hell he got past the locks. This time I meet him pull for push. My hands greedily shove his jacket off and before gripping the ends of his button-up shirt and ripping it open. The tinkling of buttons hitting the floor sounds sexy and does crazy things to me. It’s only a matter of time before I’m gripping the scorching bare skin on his back. Jay’s boots crunch over the scattered buttons before he grips my sides and hauls me onto the countertop. My mind briefly recalls that my mom is gone and won’t come home to witness this before Jay is yanking my sweater off over my head. His lips move in hot trails down the sensitive skin of my neck to my collarbone.
“Where did you go?” he asks, pulling my leg up and unlacing the boot on my foot.
“Huh?” I question, not sure I heard him right.
“Where did you go during the race?”
he clarifies, untying my other boot. They both hit the floor with a thump. His long fingers hook on my belt loops, pulling my body closer to the edge. “Hmm, Blaise?” His eyes bore into mine, my mind is still fighting through the haze trying to piece together the information he wants. My heart thudded in my chest with the realization that he was watching me. I just want his lips back on me.
The zipper on my shorts is pulled down, and I gasped at the sensation when my bare skin lands on the cold granite. I bite my lip, smirking. “The Look Out,” I tell him breathlessly, reaching down to unclasp his jeans. The growl that leaves his mouth causes goosebumps to raise on my skin. Wrapping my arms around his neck, my mouth battles with his, while my feet push his jeans off his hips and down his legs.
“Jay,” I whisper against his lips, a plea to end the yearning in my chest.
“Stop running from me, baby,” he rasps against my lips, brushing his fingers against my center. “Trust me.”
Air leaves my lungs when he plunges two fingers inside me, curling and stroking to match the thrust from my hips. My head falls back, my body racked from the sensations he’s creating. Before I can come undone, Jay withdraws from my body, teasing, keeping me on edge.
“Please.” Leaves my lips, I sound breathless and I hate that he has me almost pleading. I’m not even sure what I’m asking for. Answers? Trust? Protection? To just fucking finish me already?
I don’t miss the curl of his lip before he violently slams into me. My hands flutter at his shoulders, my nails digging in, holding on. Jay’s grip on my hips tighten, bringing my hips back to meet his with every thrust. I know I’ll have bruises on the insides of my thighs in the morning and I don’t care. There is something deliciously territorial about it. I wrapped one arm around Jay’s neck and use the other to grip the lip of the countertop as leverage to anchor my body. My orgasm builds again, stronger and more intense each time Jay’s cock hits that special spot deep inside.