by A. M. Brooks
“You going to come for me, baby?” Jay rasps out, his grip on my thigh tightening while his fingers on his other hand pinch and pull at my nipples. Biting my lip, I nod frantically. I might kill him if he stops again like before. I need the release only Jay can give me. “Are you going to be a good girl and come all over my cock?” His words are dirty and thrill me at the same time. “Answer me, Blaise.” My name sounds scratchy as it flows from his mouth, which only heightens my own pleasure. I’m getting to him, too.
“Yes,” I answer, watching the color of his brown eyes deepen to dark molten chocolate.
“You like it when I control your body like this, don’t you, Blaise?” He grins wickedly, I’m close and he’s keeping it out of reach, playing with me.
“Yes.” The word falls from my mouth, my brain clearly not connecting to my pussy anymore. His hand slides up until my neck is cradled against his palm when he squeezes. My body shudders from the threat of losing oxygen, only amping up the impending tidal wave of sensation I’m on the brink of. My eyes widen, my lips part in a silent plea. I don’t like it when Jay takes control... I love it. I’m not telling him that though. Our eyes connect while he continues to squeeze and release my neck, controlling my breathing. The moment he lets me find my release, his grip tightens with every last thrust from his hips, pushing wave after wave of my orgasm through me. My toes curl and my hands slide off his shoulders from the beaded sweat.
“I love when you do that,” Jay says breathlessly.
“Hmm?” I respond, not able to comprehend anything. My naked body now leaning into him, the minute my legs drop down his sides it feels like pins and needles. I follow his gaze and notice visible inch long red scratch marks over his shoulder blades. My cheeks instantly heat pink.
“Not sorry,” I mutter. He laughs.
“Let’s get to your room.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to move.”
“Hold on,” Jay says before sliding out and readjusting his jeans back over his hips. He kicks off his shoes before scooping me off the counter.
“My clothes,” I remind him, laughing.
“They’ll be fine till tomorrow morning,” he responds, maneuvering us down the hall to my room. I’m about to remind him that I’m not the only one who lives here, but I stop when I remember her latest note. It said she won’t be back for a while. Nothing else.
Jay tosses me onto the mattress before setting his gun on the nightstand. My eyes follow every movement of muscle while he lets his jeans fall to the ground beside my bed.
“Be right back.” He winks before heading to my bathroom. Exhausted, my body collapses back on the bed.
“The fuck?” I mutter to myself. The night took a complete one-eighty in a matter of an hour. I was about ready to write Jay off and now he’s in my apartment again staying the night. Trent’s words play over in my head. Blake did. My brother trusted Jay. Jay wanted me to trust him, but he wasn’t telling me everything yet and that wasn’t something I was okay with.
Getting up off my bed, I swipe a t-shirt from the drawer and slide it over my now tangled hair, down my body.
“Where were you?” I demand, sliding into the bathroom behind him. Our eyes connect in the mirror while he brushes his teeth. When did he even bring a toothbrush over? I don’t look away and neither does he. Blue toothpaste foams out of the corner of his mouth before he spits, rinses, and then turns to face me.
“Vegas,” he answers instantly. His eyes dart over my face, watching intently.
“No shit? Why?”
“There was a lead that the group of people we had been previously out to set up were going to be there for another run,” he replies.
“Why didn’t you answer my text?”
“I leave my personal phone in my locker when I’m in deep.” He shrugs. “If I get caught, they have less leverage to press me with.”
“You were back early though. You know how freaked out I was. Why did you wait so long to come see me?” I ask, allowing myself to be vulnerable to this man.
“I was waiting...” Guilt flashed in his eyes quickly, but it was there. “I was waiting to see what their priority was after. If there were additional contacts that needed to be made or if that was just the end. If they just kept the money and went about life again.”
The blood leaves my face while a chill creeps over my skin. My eyes slam shut while my lungs struggle to bring air in and out. “Do I need to worry about the guys?” I grit out between clenched teeth.
Jay looks away from me, cracking his knuckles. His shoulders lift in a shrug. The look on his face giving nothing away.
“I’m not sure, yet? I felt even worse coming back to see you because I have nothing concrete to give you. Only more questions and another dead end. I’ve been working this case for almost four years and it’s just as fucked now as it was in the beginning. I know the little people. I know their game. I know the big players at the top. I just don’t…” His voice trails off. Jay looks defeated, leaning against my sink.
In two steps, I wrap my arms around his waist, breathing in the faint smell of diesel from the track that still lingers on his skin. “There never seems to be an endpoint to this case. Drugs always seem to pop up. New rulers soon follow, and a wake of bodies are left behind,” I repeat.
Jay freezes in my hold. “I ran into Trent Nichols at the race. It’s why I left,” I tell him, pulling his body closer to mine until I feel the tension in his muscles leave, molding us together again.
“Great.” He half laughs and half cringes. “He’s right though. Every time I get close to figuring it all out, it’s like they disappear into thin air. Only Blake had it figured out and he’s not here anymore.” We both stand in silence, our thoughts millions of miles apart yet still bound together with a common interest.
“You’ll figure it out,” I tell him. “Blake trusted you enough to help you. Hell, you changed his whole life around. I had no idea he wanted to be a police officer, let alone he was going to school. He wouldn’t invest that much into someone or something unless he had faith in it, in them. You’ll get it.”
Jay’s arms tighten around my body, prompting me to lift my head up. The look in his eyes steals my breath away. “You’re amazing, Blaise,” he whispers against my lips before sealing our mouths together in a kiss that leaves me flushed and my legs weak.
Jay walks us back to my room and onto my bed before sliding in and pulling me to his side. I fall asleep listening to the slowing beat of Jay’s heart. I decide right there and then to try and let go and trust him. I can’t be as cynical as Trent, but I figure he has his own reasons for being how he is. The most important person in my life, the one person who loved me unconditionally and gave their all for me trusted Jay, or at the very least for the cause that Jay is fighting. For now, that would have to be enough.
“What’s up?” I ask, placing the drinks down in front of them. “I know you didn’t call me over here because my face is prettier than Jenna’s,” I joke. Their solemn expressions freak me out. Chills sprinkle across my arms from Jay’s warning.
“What’s up with you and the mechanic?” Joey asks.
My shoulders lift. “Not much,” I respond, keeping my face neutral. Inside, my hackles are raised in defense.
“He called you his girlfriend,” Antonio states.
I swing my gaze to his. “Didn’t know you gossiped like a woman, Toni. Should I get you a frothy glass to go with that bottle?” My words are icy. At least he has some decency to break eye contact first. Part of me also wants to smack Jay for letting that slip. He stopped in for an early dinner, as he called it. I knew he was watching the guys. The only problem is they’re starting to notice him more. Before he left, Jay had leaned over the bar, claiming my lips in front of the whole restaurant. If that hadn’t been bad enough, he turned to Luis and handed him some cash.
“For my girlfriend’s tip.” He winked and grinned, not hiding his laugh on his way out the door.
“It’s n
ot our business—” Stone starts to reply, but I cut him off. “Damn straight, it’s not.”
“You haven’t been in a relationship since Seth,” Joey reminds me.
I roll my eyes as I remind them. “That was over two years ago, I didn’t know that meant I could never date again.”
“We’re just concerned,” Toni throws out there like it makes their meddling any better.
“Why?” I ask, my voice louder than intended. “What I do has nothing to do with you guys anymore. You made sure of that, remember?” It’s a low blow, but it hits the mark like I intended. Joey looks away, his jaw clenched. Toni’s head drops into his hands while Stone just stares at me like always. “Look, guys,” I tell them, taking a deep breath. “I appreciate that you’re concerned, but you don’t have to be. I’m a big girl. And whatever is happening with Jay and me, is between us. It’s too new to tell anyway.”
“We didn’t mean to say you couldn’t fend for yourself, B. It’s just… Blake would ask questions too… ya know?” Joey states. I barely hear the choke in his words, but it’s there. Tears instantly spring to my eyes. Blake would have been all over my ass asking questions if I’m completely honest. Most of the time he liked to razz me, but he also took his role as big brother seriously. My gaze scans the faces of the guys we grew up with while a small pit of guilt starts to grow in my chest. Jay’s words are fresh in my mind, yet as I look around the booth, it’s too easy to see my brother sitting on the end. His eyes blazing with humor, his posture defensive. He would know he was being unreasonable, but wouldn’t give a fuck because I’m his baby sister. He would grin his cocky half-smile because whatever poor sucker I was interested in would have to deal with all of them.
“I know,” I respond, feeling the watery path of a tear stream down my cheek. I quickly swipe it away with my free hand. “I got it though,” I tell them reassuringly.
“We know,” Stone replies. “It’s just hard to turn those protective instincts off when it comes to you, little Palmer.” He shrugs while the guys chuckle. “We actually really wanted to let you know that we’re going back to Vegas again next weekend.”
“Already?” I ask. “Didn’t you just get back?”
“Yeah. It’s promising to be a good weekend though,” Stone replies, nodding.
“Ya know it!” Toni whoops. “Gotta love it when La Mamacita decides to play.”
“Dude.” Joey laughs and shoves him playfully.
“Anyway,” Stone says, shooting him a look. “We wanted to see if you wanted to come with. Like old times.”
Their invitation hangs in the air between us. Three pairs of eyes and one haunting gaze waiting for my reaction. I force a smile to my lips despite the nagging feeling in my stomach. The conversation with Jay is fresh in my mind, yet the guilt for doubting them is eating at me. The least that could happen would be that I get some information for Jay to clear the guys from his shit list.
“Yeah, I would really like that, actually,” I answer before I overthink it.
“Yes!” Toni laughs, giving me a fist bump. They each get out of the booth one by one and give me a hug. Stone slaps money on the table before turning to me. “Just leave your boy at home though, Palmer.” I nod even while a sliver of unease slides through my stomach.
I watch while they head out the front door, wondering what I have done. I glance back at the booth. In my mind, Blake sits there, shaking his head, his eyes frustrated. I lift my shoulder in a shrug. “I can help,” I whisper out loud despite being alone. I’ve never been more determined than ever to get to the bottom of this case and give my brother the peace he needs. On cue, The Black Crows’ song “She Talks To Angels” starts to play from the speakers. My chest feels heavy when I look back at the booth and only empty glasses and dishes are waiting for me. My pocket vibrates and I pull my cell phone out only to find a text from Jay.
Jay: New shipment of parts arrived this afternoon. I’m staying late to help so Rowland can get home to watch his baby tonight.
Me: K. See you tomorrow?
Jay: ;)
Sighing, I clear the rest of the dishes off the table and head back to the bar. My plans for the night now uncertain. At the same time, I feel relieved after, in a roundabout way, I betrayed Jay. Which was ridiculous, but my heart still felt heavy, anyways.
I finish my shift methodically under Luis’ watchful eye. The minute I have my payout and I’m in the car driving home, I start to plan my run for the evening. It’s been a while since I’ve had the time or the energy to get back out there. I change quickly and grab my earbuds before hitting the pavement. Ignoring the first twinges in my shins, I push away the pain, forcing my chest to find an even breathing pace. By mile two, the familiarity is back and I’m numb from the waist down. Collective Soul’s “Shine” drums in my head while my brain and my conscience battle out the dilemma I’ve put myself into. After circling the town, my legs are rubbery, the tank I threw on is molded to my torso with sweat. I’ve finally made it back, yet I still have no answers. No clarity and I’m beginning to feel like a major fuck up.
Clicking on my fan, I take off my sweaty socks and just as I am about to pull my tank over my head, a movement in my peripheral causes my adrenaline to spike. “Shit,” I mumble, stepping back in time to witness the shadow by my window move. Reaching blindly for the baseball bat behind my door, I inch closer to the window just as his face pressed closer, attempting to look into my room. Seth. Frozen in panic, I hold my breath, watching him hold a hand up to shield the glare from the streetlight while he searches the room for me. I pause before he raps his knuckles gently in succession against the glass pane. Tap-Tap-Ta-ta-tap. Not waiting, I charge the window and yanked it open, surprising him.
“Whoa!” Seth lets out, losing his balance and tumbles halfway through the opening.
“What the hell!” I shout at the same time.
“Shh!” He pulls himself through the rest of the way before shutting the window and relocking it. Even in the seventy-degree temps at night, Seth is way overdressed in dark black cargo pants and a black hoodie His usually wavy brown hair and sun-kissed face is hidden under the bill of his all black baseball cap.
“What are you—” I start to ask before his hand cups over my mouth and his free arm pulls my body into his. He checks out the window, scoping out the ground below before moving us farther into my room to the closet.
I shake my head violently, struggling in his grip. Everyone’s accusations and questioning Seth’s disappearance the past month are fresh and send shockwaves of fear through my body.
“Chill, Blaise,” he whispers against my cheek. “I’m not going to hurt you.” I stop struggling and let my body go limp in his grasp. “Is he here?” Seth asks, watching me closely, seeing the confusion flick over my face. “McCall?” Seth presses further. I stiffen in his arms, wondering if I should lie and tell him that Jay will be here soon, even though Jay isn’t actually coming. I’m torn between calling him and wanting to beat Seth with my baseball bat until he tells me where the fuck he’s been, and what the mystery is around him. I shake my head no, noticing the way Seth visibly relaxes. His arm slides off my waist and his hand falls from my mouth.
“How do you know about Jay?” I ask, wiping the salty taste from Seth’s palm off my lips.
Seth’s eyebrow lifts. “Jay?” He laughs. “Seriously?”
“Seriously, what?” I ask him angrily. All the pent up frustration I’ve been holding inside for months pushes forward, ready to rear her ugly head. “You think you get to fucking come to my house, attack me and question me? You fucked up big time, Seth. Everyone is looking for you. They want answers and I do, too. I thought we meant something to you? I thought we were family, but Blake dies and what… you run out of town under mysterious circumstances and everyone starts tracking me down like I’m your keeper! What the fuck is that!”
“It isn’t like that, Blaise,” he groans, frustrated, pulling the hat from his head and sitting on my bed. I watch as he cradles
his head, and his shoulders bounce slightly. “Are you on a first-name basis with the guy?”
“Are you crying?” I demand.
“Answer the question,” he responds.
“Yes,” I tell him, lifting my arms in defeat. “Who cares?”
“Are you fucking?” he questions, and I don’t miss the hint of disgust in his voice. I remain silent. “Guess that answers that then.”
“Where have you been?” I fire off. “Why is everyone looking for you?”
Seth looks up at me. Even in the dim light in the room, I can see his eyes are rimmed red, dark circles highlighted under his spiky bottom lashes. “I don’t know what else to do.” His throat bobs when he swallows, wetness glistens in his green eyes. “Shit went down and it wasn’t good. He… he was dead before I could do anything. He tried to text me, but I was too late to get the warning.”
“So, you took what they needed and left?” I push him further, pretty sure my blood pressure was through the roof.
“I just grabbed the bag like Blake told me to.” Seth’s shoulders drop in defeat. “Did you get my text?”
“I don’t know,” I answer sarcastically. “Are you ‘unknown caller?’”
“I’m serious, Blaise, you can’t trust any of them.” Seth stands again, facing me.
“Why should I trust a goddamn word that comes out of your mouth, Seth? Where were you? I needed you. You left and they’ve been here,” I vent.
His eyes searching mine, the familiar deep green orbs spilling tears and secrets.
“I couldn’t stay with everyone looking for me. I didn’t know who to trust anymore. Blake said where to find the bag and told me to run. It was all a setup. He was trying to protect me,” he explains.
“Who set him up?” I asked breathlessly.
“I don’t know. That’s why I said not to trust anyone. Not the guys and not McCall.” Seth gets up quickly and heads to my window in three strides, scanning the ground and across the street, keeping his body tucked into my curtains and the shadows. “Look, I don’t have a lot of time. I didn’t hear from you and I wanted to make sure you’re okay. This whole thing is fucked, Blaise. You need to listen to me though. I know you don’t trust me, I know I haven’t been here, but it’s not because I don’t want to be. It killed me not to be with you for the funeral. My best friend in the entire world is gone and he shouldn’t be. Don’t trust anyone. Record everything. It’s all about money. Go back to Scar and ask Trent about Mamacita. He’ll put it together. Hand me your phone.”