by A. M. Brooks
“Wish I knew, babe,” he says, opening the door into a room with a bed and dresser that connects to a bathroom. “That is the unanswered question.”
“The person you’re trying to find,” I state. Jay sits on the bed, cradling his head in his hands, nodding. For the first time, I realize how tired Jay looks. His clothes are wrinkled and over a week’s worth of facial hair is growing in. Purple smudges sit under his brown eyes. “Jay—”
“I know,” he cuts me off. “I know we have some fucked up things to work through and talk about. I will talk. I’m just exhausted right now.”
I walk toward him until I’m standing in the space between his legs. “How about a hot bath, then sleep?”
He cocks his eyebrow. “Only if you join me.”
I swallow past the lump of relief in my throat. “Okay.”
Jay takes my hand in his and leads me into the bathroom. He runs the water before stripping us both bare. The tub is big enough for us both, and I lay comfortably reclined against Jay’s warm, bare chest. “Blaise?” My name rolls off his tongue in question.
“Hmm?” I reply, laying my head back, my eyes fluttering close.
“Tell me about Vegas.” His voice is stern, but not demanding. He wants to know and finally I’m ready to tell him. I apologize about how I left and why I made the decision. I explain the car ride and the day and night I spent in Las Vegas with the guys. It’s not sugarcoated and I hold nothing back, giving Jay all my truths. He tenses when I reveal I was drugged, his fingertips turn white from gripping the edges of the tub while I tell him about the next morning and how scared I was. “I wanted you to be there and knew right away the mistake I made. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Jay. I shouldn’t have lied. I thought I was doing the best thing, and I don’t know, helping in some way.”
He cradles my chin between his fingers, turning my face to his. “You’re one of the strongest people I know, Blaise. You’ve been through hell and none of this has been easy on you and every day you get up and keep fighting. I get you want to see something happen and you want to help. If the guys didn’t have a history with you though… I’m scared about what could have happened.”
“I know,” I tell him, tears blurring my vision. “It was stupid. I’m sorry.”
Jay’s lips touch mine softly before pulling back. “I’m sorry, too. I didn’t want you to find out the way you did and that’s why I got angry the other night. I swear on my life I was going to tell you after the case. Before fuck-face beat me to it.”
“I think Seth thought he was protecting me,” I tell him. Jay scoffs. “We’re all in the dark, Jay. Seth has limited information to work off of, too. No one knows who to trust or who’s waiting to stab the other in the back.”
“We can talk about Baird later,” Jay answers, rolling his eyes and I stifle a laugh. “Let’s get some sleep.” He pulls me to stand and each of us takes one of the towels we laid out. We dry off and I borrow a pair of boxers and an Academy t-shirt from Jay before joining him under the covers. He’s asleep before I even lay my head down. Smiling, I inch closer, until I’m burrowed right next to his side. My name slips between his lips in his sleep but he doesn’t wake up, which makes my heart beat double time. Smiling to myself, I pull the blanket tight and fall asleep.
My mind is fuzzy a few hours later. Cracking my eyes open, I momentarily forgot where I was and how I got there. My arm stretches out toward Jay only to meet empty space.
“Jay?” I shoot up, clutching the blanket to my chest. Slightly pissed he wasn’t here when I woke up. I climb from the bed and make my way downstairs. My jaw drops and I swear a trickle of drool escapes while I take in the sight before me. Jay, shirtless, with only a pair of light grey sweatpants riding low on his hips. I watch fascinated while his back muscles flex and twitch while he scoots the mouse around by the monitor. My mind wanders back to the bed we slept in and what I wouldn’t give to have his body over mine, raking my nails down his perfectly sculpted back while he feeds his body into mine.
The monitors crackle to life, shocking me from my sex-induced daydream. The blood in my veins turns icy when voices I recognize play through the speakers.
“This weekend?” Joe’s voice bounces off the walls.
“Yup,” Toni answers him. “He wants us there Friday night again.”
“It’s the third time this month already!” Joey argues.
“We do what we’re told,” Stone interrupts them. His voice cold and calculating. “If you have a problem, you know the way out.”
Joey visibly swallows on the screen. My pulse races watching and listening to their exchange. “I don’t like it.” He shrugs.
“No one asked for your opinion, Joe,” Stone replies.
The screen turns to static after that. “What happened?” I stride farther into the room until I reach Jay’s side. He’s watching, his jaw cupped in his hand. “I’m not sure.”
“Sounds like they’re going to Vegas again,” I muse.
“I thought so too at first, but they’ve only been there once and that was with you.” Jay stretches, walking over to the kitchen. “I made coffee.” He points me toward the machine. I pour a cup while he examines his timeline and going over his notes. His hair is longer on top than usual. Another sign that he hasn’t been taking care of himself.
“You need a haircut,” I tell him while taking a sip of coffee.
He smiles. “Anything else?”
“You need to shave.” I point to his chin.
His eyes darken as they trail over me. “I think you’ll be thinking differently later when I’m wrapping your legs around my neck,” he warns. His words turn my cheeks pink and it suddenly feels warmer in the room. I look away, unable to keep eye contact, which only has him laughing at my expense.
“How about food?” I ask, desperate to change the subject.
“I figured we’d stop at the café in town on our way back.” He shrugs.
“We’re leaving soon?” My chest deflates. Being out of that town and with Jay is the most relaxed I’ve felt in months. I can finally breathe and think clearly. Plus, I have a fine as fuck man to keep me occupied.
“I think we need to talk about a few things before we leave,” he concedes. My stomach drops in response. I’m a bundle of nerves now.
“Okay.” My voice is stronger than I feel while I fight to keep my hand from shaking and put my coffee cup down. I lift my head to meet Jay’s gaze. Internally, I’m a hot mess ready to melt into a puddle at his feet. I school my features into a calm mask and remind myself to breathe.
“I thought about what you said about Baird. Trent has been able to keep better tabs on him and agrees with you that it may be best to bring him in. Find out what he knows. Then we figure out what we’re missing,” Jay explains, his eyes intently roaming my face.
“You also get the money,” I remind him gently. Jay nods even while his lips thin in a frown. I can tell he isn’t thrilled to have Seth join us, but it’s the right thing to do at this time.
“If something goes wrong, I don’t want you to be there,” he tells me.
I snort. “Not gonna happen. I’m coming.”
“Blaise.” Jay’s eyes close. “I’d die if anything happened to you. I don’t think you fully understand the magnitude of how I feel about you. You’re mine and I can’t lose you.”
“Jay.” I swallow, looking down at my toes. “I need to be there. We can have a plan, I’ll stay by you, anything, but I can’t not be here.”
Jay’s body invades my space before I can inhale my next breath, his large hands cup my face, forcing my eyes to his, reading my secrets and exposing my soul to him. “Why do you need to be there?”
I lick my lips, biding my time. “I want to know what happened, and…” My voice trails off. I swallow repeatedly past the burn in my throat. “I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”
“Why?” He forces and pushes me more.
“I care about you,” I whisper.
Jay’s
mouth slants over mine, gliding and biting my mouth into submission. I open for him, his tongue dives in, tangling and stroking with mine. Jay pulls my body into his, one hand wound around my ponytail, anchoring my head in place. His other grips my hip, forcing our bodies together. My arms wind around his neck, forcing me to stand on tiptoe. Jay cradles me to him, feasting on my mouth. A rush of warmth settles between my legs. I pull my mouth away from Jay’s, trailing a hot path of kisses across his jaw and down his neck. I pay him back in bites, pulling the sensitive skin between my teeth until he groans. I’m unable to hold back and drop to my knees, tugging the band of his sweatpants until his long, hard cock springs free.
“Blaise.” His voice is filled with warning and need. It’s all I need before taking him in my mouth. He groans, his head tilts back while his throat bobs up and down. He’s under my spell. I’m in control, with his hand twisted around my already messy hair, his grip tightening with each suck and lick from my tongue on the underside of his dick. My eyes water when he pushes deeper. I keep my mouth suctioned, a thrill of excitement and need races through my body, sending another wave of heat between my shaking legs.
“Fuck,” he murmurs, looking down at me, his eyes black with pleasure. He fists my hair tighter until the edges of my scalp burn, bringing my face closer to his pelvis. Sweat and tears mix down my cheeks when he hits the back of my throat, sending a hot jet of salty release down my throat.
Jay slips easily from my mouth, gently using my hair to pull and guide me until we’re face to face. His lips coast over mine gently. “I’m never letting you go,” he tells me. I pull back, my eyes wandering over his face. His cheeks are flushed, his pupils are dilated and a look of absolute determination settles over his features. Too stunned to speak, I nod my head instead. My heart swells with the love I feel for this overbearing, sexy as hell man, while at the same time my stomach drops. We’re in deep, and I know I won’t survive if I lose him.
It’s almost déjà vu when I find myself at the Look Out less than twelve hours later standing next to Trent. This time he wears a smug grin on his face when he sees Jay’s arm wrapped protectively around my waist, with his large hand gripping me. I flip him off, which only earns me laughter from both of them.
“‘Bout fuckin’ time,” Trent says, eyeing me as if he’s waiting for me to tell him that I really want this. I nod in response and for some reason, my eyes fill with tears.
“Baird not here, yet?” Jay questions, looking around, before meeting Trent’s gaze.
Trent shrugs. “His tracker is five minutes out.”
“Tracker?” My brows raised in shock.
“It’s a precaution,” Jay answers for both of them. “Last thing we need is for him to slip away again.”
“Still,” I admonish. “Isn’t that a little much?” They both frown at me. “He’s here to help us. He’s ready to give the money, now that he knows who he can trust.”
“Yeah, after he took off and has been off the radar for months,” Jay bites back, his eyes narrowing.
“So, you really don’t trust him then?” I demand, slightly pissed we’re still at a crossroads over this. “Why are we even here then?” I move out of his embrace despite the slight chill in the evening air.
Jay pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “Come here.”
“No,” I retort, moving farther away.
“Blaise.” Jay’s voice deepens. My name on his lips a command. I lift my chin defiantly.
“No,” I repeat. “I’m serious. You said we’re all on the same side. Why would you be tracking him? Are you tracking all of us?”
They both go silent. Trent turns his attention to the action by the track. My stomach drops when Jay’s mask slips into place.
“You,” I start to ask before my mouth closes. I’m not even sure what I’m trying to ask. “You didn’t, right?”
Jay turns away from me, his voice icy and full of authority when he speaks. “Yes, when you got back from Vegas.”
“Like he said,” Trent interjects, finally turning to position himself between us. “It’s a precaution. Things are still dicey right now.”
“How is any of this supposed to work if we aren’t trusting each other!” My voice hisses at Jay.
“It’s not about trusting you,” Jay barks back. “It’s about making sure you’re fucking safe every hour of the day.”
I ignore his statement and the way my chest tightens. “Then, why Seth, too?”
“It’s okay, Blaise, I already know.” Seth emerges from the shadows and walks toward our little group slowly. His arms are raised in surrender, a black duffle bag clutched tightly in one of his hands. Trent moves toward him, patting from his ankles to his chest.
“Turn,” Jay commands. I’m seething by now, watching this play out, watching Seth being treated like a traitor. As if he can read my thoughts, he throws me a wink before turning for Jay and lifting his black t-shirt above the waistband of his jeans.
“Clear,” Trent mutters, gently removing the duffle bag from Seth’s grasp. He turns back to face us, his face tight and grim.
“Everything’s in there,” he addresses all of us but his gaze is trained on Jay. Several heartbeats pass while they silently size each other up. I’m about to lay into Jay again when he finally nods.
“What happened?” he asks, his voice crackling like sandpaper.
I notice Trent’s body stills as if he’s waiting on bated breath to hear the story. My own heart stops then speeds up again and I realize I want the whole story, too. These three can finally piece together everything I’ve been missing for the six months.
“Are we good to talk here?” Seth asks, nodding toward the track.
“Races are over, it’s just the stragglers left, people passed out.” Trent lifts his shoulders, confirming we’re alone.
Seth takes a deep breath in and exhales, taking a few steps back until he can lean against the boulders. “I was waiting where I was supposed to be. The car was ready in case things went bad. About half an hour before the meet, Blake shot me a text saying that things weren’t right. He and the guys were all split up for the job, which never happened, we always worked together or at least with one other person. They also had him on rooms instead of the club or the streets. He met me at the garage and tossed me the bag. He said it would be better if everything was split up. We decided to meet at the pit stop between here and Vegas. He was trying to call Trent first.” Seth stops and slides his focus to Trent.
Trent nods. “He did. My call log was eleven thirty-five p.m. On his room detail, he was told Alverez would check on his progress and assign further information. We talked about this being a red flag. Alverez would never make a face to face with runners.”
“Alverez is the guy from Mexico, right?” I ask Jay quietly, bringing the image of the photograph in Jay’s house from my memory. I shiver again, remembering the man’s soulless eyes. Jay nods at me.
“Then what?” Jay questions, turning back to Seth, his face set in a serious expression causing him to look like the detective he is supposed to be. My mouth drops open and I snap it closed again quickly, unsure how this makes me feel. It’s one thing to hear it but entirely daunting to see the evidence in front of my face.
Seth rakes his hands through his hair, his face falling, and for the first time, I notice how truly exhausted he looks. “I drove right to the pit stop. He wasn’t there when I got there. My route only took me an extra twelve minutes, which we knew would happen. He agreed to wait. I waited. Thinking maybe he got pulled over or something, or he got a hold of you, or I don’t know. I didn’t have your number so I called Nichols…” His voice trails off.
“My call log was one twenty-two a.m.,” Trent states. My heart continues to hammer away, my anxiety eating away at my insides while they piece together the timeline on the last few hours of Blake’s life. Tears form and gather at my lower lashes yet I refuse to let them fall. Blake’s crash happened at three forty-eight a.m. Sergeant Ramirez
knocked on our front door at five to deliver the news. Not once in this story has anyone said my brother didn’t do what he was supposed to do.
“Actual time of death was three eleven a.m,” Jay tells us, the anguish on his face replaced with anger. “His last call was to my phone at three-ten.”
“You talked to him,” I repeat back. Jay had told me before he talked to Blake before his death but not that he talked to him right as he was dying.
“All I could hear was scuffling, some muffled voices, then the line went dead,” Jay answers. “I didn’t call back in case they just took him, I didn’t want to give them anything to torture him over. The crash was called in thirty-five minutes later.”
“So, somewhere in a span of four hours, give or take, he left Vegas, stopped at the pit house, we think, and ended up back a little bit outside town where he crashed.” My brain fights to compute every detail from what we heard.
“A lot can happen in four hours,” Trent replies, his voice almost robotic, as if he has spun these details in his mind thousands of times.
“Were there trackers then?” I ask.
Jay’s eyes narrow and Trent shakes his head no. “Trust,” he responds and I slam my mouth shut, forced to eat my words from earlier.
“And how do all these other people play into this?” I turn to Jay for the answer, sensing he’s trying to hold back, a nagging in my mind, and I can’t let up. “And, if all the guys were in Vegas, how did they make it back in time without being seen?”
“Antonio wasn’t in Vegas,” Seth answers. My eyes swing to him, watching as he almost zones out. His complexion paling while the memories click into place. “I can’t believe I forgot that. He left Saturday morning. His mom was sick. That’s why it was first mentioned we would split up.”
I turn back to Jay accusingly. “You knew this little nugget of information already?”
He nods at me, his mouth set in a grim line.