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Gage wanted to egg her on because he knew very well she didn’t come home early to talk about his looks.
Heather shook the fog she was in and said, “I did a lot of thinking when you were gone this weekend, about us.”
He felt a flush of heated guilt coursing through his body. His wife was home thinking about him and he was away fucking another woman. The devil took center stage as he sat back chanting over and over in Gage’s head. Ask me for a divorce. Ask me for a divorce.
“We’ve drifted somewhere along the line, and I want to find our way back.” Her voice was soft, her smile even softer.
Gage held the blue eyes he once loved getting lost in. Of all the times she could have come to him, she did it now, when he found happiness elsewhere. The guilt he was feeling turned to pain, an ache squeezing in his chest. Suddenly he felt as though he couldn’t breathe. The words sitting on the edge of his tongue.
“I love you,” she whispered through their silence.
He reached for his wine, chugging back the rest of it, and as the tart red flowed down his throat, it washed away the words resting on his tongue. He looked beyond her eyes, knew she meant every word she was saying. He also knew deep down in his bones if he asked for a divorce right now, it’d break her. Not only that, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to say them. He found himself reaching for her hand on the table, laying his hands above hers, and saying. “I like that idea.” And as the words spilled from his lips, he swallowed the bile that sat in the back of his throat.
_______________
“Fuck,” Gage grunted as Tilly seated herself on his cock. “Feels like more than a week since I’ve been in your pussy,” he muttered against the column of her neck between kisses.
She moaned, loving how he felt. She’d thought about this all week. “Even a day is too long.” She panted, lifting off his cock before she pushed back down, her fingers curling into his shoulders as she found a rhythm.
Gage gripped her waist, helping with the cadence of her hips by thrusting up, meeting her. He held his eyes to hers while she rode his cock in the back seat of his truck, tucked behind the dumpster in the park parking lot. One hand slid from her hip to her clit, his index finger rolling it as he told her on a groan, “Harder.”
A whimper moved up her throat, she bit her lip, her hips moving faster, sinking down harder on his cock; the pressure of his finger on her clit had her panting. “Oh god.” Chills raced down her body as he drove her closer to orgasm. “I’m close.” She moaned.
Gage pressed her clit, rolling it hard, watching as her movements faltered as she grew closer to coming. “Fuck yeah,” he grumbled as her pussy tightened around his cock, her orgasm edging. “That’s it, baby,” he breathed out when her head fell back, and she started grinding on his cock.
The orgasm swept through her as she cried out his name, her eyes finding his when his thrusts picked up.
Her hips gyrated on his cock as she rode out her orgasm. Gage jerked his hips while she did, finding his own release minutes after hers. His head dropped to her neck, where he muttered her name on a deep groan.
Tilly wrapped her arms around his head, threading her fingers through his hair. She didn’t move, didn’t want to leave him yet. For a few minutes, the only sound in the car was their heavy breathing.
“I don’t know how I made it a week,” she whispered. What she didn’t share was how hard it was going to be going back; that each time they talked, it was harder and harder for her to feel like she fit in the life she had.
Gage laid a kiss to her damp neck and lifted his head. “Luke is gonna be gone this weekend, why don’t you take the kids to Hershey.” His eyes sparkled. “We can,” he drove his hips up, “bump into each other.”
Tilly drew her lower lip between her teeth and pushed down on his cock. “You’re wicked, Gage Sutherland, but I like this plan.”
Gage took Tilly’s mouth, the kiss long wet and sweet before she moved from his lap, so he could dispose of the condom.
Tilly slid on her panties, shimmied back into her yoga pants, before she turned in her seat to watch Gage zipping up. She studied him. She knew every line in his face. Every muscle of his body. She even knew his tones, when he was aroused, or irritated, or happy. She also knew when he was holding back. They made the decision to find out together if the grass was greener. And as hypocritical as it sounded, given they were cheating, they didn’t hold back with each other. They shared everything. He wasn’t sharing this. The timing wasn’t great, but it was harder to avoid someone when they were in your face. “You’ve been avoiding the subject of Heather.” His head turned, those dark eyes finding hers. “I know you, Gage. I know something’s happened. Tell me.”
Gage did the button on his jeans and turned to face her. He had avoided the question she kept asking for days, doing his best to divert her attention elsewhere. Now, he was stuck. He took a deep breath. “She wants to work things out,” he confessed softly. He figured why he was spilling what happened that night he should forge forward, no matter the consequences. “That night…” he paused before adding gently, “I slept with her.”
Tilly tried to hide her reaction to his confession, but it was like taking a hit to the heart. She looked away. Rationally, Heather was his wife. She held the claim on him, not Tilly. Her eyes burned; she could admit to herself she was jealous. Silence stretched out for a few minutes before Tilly took a deep breath. “I know what I should do. I should do the honorable thing and give you a chance to work things out with your wife—”
“Stop,” Gage said quickly, cutting her off.
Her head jerked to him. “I’m not going to. I’m going to be selfish for once in my life. There was a reason you sought me out and damn it, what we have…” she looked away again, trying to keep the tears from falling and failing. She turned bright eyes on him when she whispered, “It’s worth fighting for.” She laughed at the idea of fighting for a man who wasn’t hers. Didn’t stop her from planning on doing just that.
Gage was watching Tilly intently, so he got to witness the beauty of her pain moving to determination. It was a sight. Then watching that turn to a laugh had him grabbing her, dragging her to him. She sobered, and he got her eyes when he told her, “There’s no fighting, baby, you got me.” He paused and when she put her hands to his cheeks and gave him a small smile, he went on, “Don’t look at me like that. Like I’m saying this to ease shit, Till. I may not be physically there with you, but in here,” he tapped his chest, “I’m with you, only you.”
“I’m jealous of your wife. She gets to share your life, can reach for you whenever she wants. And just saying that, what kind of person does that make me?”
Gage told her the truth, “Same kinda person I am, cause I fucking hate the thought of your husband being able to lay his head next to yours at night.”
She ran her finger along his lower lip, following it as she did. “I like hearing that.” Her gaze lifted to him. “He rarely comes to bed. No head next to mine at night.”
Gage nipped at her finger before he muttered around it, “I like hearing that.” He glanced to the blue numbers on the dash. “We got thirty minutes left.” Tilly’s lips turned into a pout, Gage kissed them before he said, “We can either go another round, or figure out how we are gonna work out this weekend, your choice?”
“We can’t go another round while figuring out this weekend?” She teased.
Gage laughed then smiled. “Babe, I’m all for multi-tasking, but once I get into your pussy with either my cock, finger or tongue, I have nothing else on my mind, so not sure it’s gonna work.”
“You have the sweetest words.” Tilly breathlessly replied, needing a second before she added, “Maybe we plan the weekend when we’ll have more time for you to do all of the above.”
“Deal,” Gage agreed before he brushed his lips along Tilly’s. They didn’t get to the plans for the upcoming we
ekend for another fifteen minutes, lost in the kiss and each other.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
The kids were packing. It was Friday night; they were heading to Hershey in the morning. They hadn’t been in a long time, and though Justin tried to act as if he’d outgrown it, he was the first one to pull up the website to check out what new rides they had. Tilly heard them as they packed, calling to each other, daring the other to ride some of the more adventurous rides.
Gage had slept with his wife. It was his wife, but it cut. Tilly was the other woman, the one who had no right to want anything from him, and still, it hurt. She was the world’s biggest fucking hypocrite admitting that. She knew what she should be feeling...shame. She knew she should back away and let them figure out their marriage, but she meant what she’d said. She was going to fight for him. His wife checked out of their marriage long before Tilly came into the picture. Hell, he spent his birthday with her, a stranger. Heather might now be having second thoughts, but for how long? How long would she give their marriage before Gage went back to being on the periphery of his wife’s life?
Tilly didn’t want Gage on the periphery. She wanted him front and center. Maybe what drew them together, made them burn for the other, was the taboo of it...the risks of wanting what you couldn’t have, but she did want him. She wanted him so much that she was taking her kids to Hershey, so she and Gage could steal moments to be together. It was wrong, she knew that, but it felt so right. She hadn’t yet shared with Candice her weekend away, but she really needed a sounding board.
Reaching for her phone, she texted her.
Are you free to talk?
Not even a minute later she replied,
I was just putting in my dinner. Want me to come there?
Tilly started across the kitchen typing,
I’ll come to you.
She reached the stairs and called up. “I’m running over to Candice’s. I’ll bring ice cream back.”
“Mint chip,” Justin called back.
“Cookie dough for me,” Ashley shouted.
“You got it.”
_______________
On the drive over, Tilly tried to think of the best way to break the news that she was having an affair. Standing in Candice’s living room, she just blurted it out.
“I slept with Gage.”
Candice had just taken a bite of pizza; she almost choked on it. Tilly hurried over, giving her a few whacks on the back. “You okay?”
“Shit,” Candice said when she could breathe again. “Give a gal some warning next time.” Watery eyes looked up at Tilly. “Your weekend away...it wasn’t a coincidence.”
She wasn’t asking.
“No.”
Candice reached for her wine, taking a long drink. Placing her glass back down, she leveled concerned eyes Tilly’s way. “You spent the weekend with him.”
“Yes.”
Candice sat back on the sofa and let out a deep breath. “I’m not sure how to react to that,” she said truthfully. “I suspected things were heading that way with you two, but…” She stood, needing to pace, and pulled a hand through her hair as she did.
“He’ll be in Hershey,” Tilly confessed.
Candice stopped pacing, her head jerking to Tilly. “You’re going to see him?”
“Yes.”
“Shit, Tilly.”
“I know,” Tilly said, dropping down on the sofa, grabbing her glass of wine and emptying it. “I know. It’s crazy, it’s madness, but I can’t help it. He…” Tilly set her glass down then sat back on the sofa, rubbing her hands over her face. “Even when he’s right next to me, he isn’t close enough. I can’t get enough of him. I think about him all the time.” Tilly met Candice’s stare. “When he mentioned Hershey, I didn’t even think about it. And I know, I’m playing with fire, but I haven’t felt this alive...well, ever.”
Candice joined Tilly on the sofa, concern pouring off her. “I get it. At least I think I do. I’ve not seen you this happy in a long time, but when you say you’re playing with fire,” she held Tilly’s stare and emphasized, “You really are playing with fire. If Luke finds out.”
Tilly’s heart dropped at the mention of Luke. So wrapped up in Gage, she tried not to let her thoughts drift to the impact of what she was doing.
“If he knew you were having an affair…” Candice stood and started to pace again. “Shit, I don’t know what he’d do, but I know he would be out for blood.” She reached the far end of the room and looked back at Tilly. “Divorce for sure, but I think he’d hit you where it’d really hurt.”
Fear washed over Tilly so badly, her body started to shake because she had thought that too. “My kids.”
“Yeah. He’d fight for full custody and with you not being in a place to support yourself and the kids, and with him getting to play the wounded party with you being unfaithful, he stands a good chance of winning.”
Tilly twisted her fingers together, her heart beating to the point of pain. She didn’t want her kids pulled into it, but her actions would force them there. She hated knowing that.
“You need to think about what you’re doing, Tilly. What happens if your affair is discovered? The consequences.”
“I know. Fuck, I know. The thing is, even knowing what Luke would do, the impact on my kids...”
Candice read her perfectly. “He really makes you feel that good?”
Tilly’s voice was soft when she confessed, “He does. It isn’t just about sex. I mean the sex is—”
“I’m guessing phenomenal with the way you’re glowing.”
“Better than that, but it’s everything. He’s there, and he wants to be. If it was just sex, I could probably walk away, but he makes me happy.”
“I can tell,” Candice said, dropping down next to Tilly again. “You’re playing with fire, but I have to admit I do like this look on you.”
“You know I’ve always been happy when it comes to my kids, but as a woman...it’s been a long time. He makes me feel wanted, cherished. I can’t walk away from that.”
“Even knowing the consequences?”
Tilly didn’t answer right away, giving the question the attention it deserved. “Even knowing the consequences. I’ve taught my children to go after what they want. I want him. It’s that simple. I shouldn’t want him, I know that, but I do.”
Candice poured more wine in both of their glasses, handed Tilly hers, before lifting her own. “Be careful, Til, but I am happy you finally found your happy.”
_______________
Gage lay back on the lounge chair, taking in the view. He’d chosen a hotel with an indoor heated pool, knowing Scarlett would enjoy it, and she was. She and Rachelle were swimming from one end to the other, racing one another. It seemed the other patrons in the hotel didn’t find enjoyment in the indoor pool as it was just the three of them and one lone woman lounging, reading a book. He reached for his cell sitting on the small plastic table next to him. He looked at the time; he smiled as he brought up their texting thread.
I’m gonna try to keep you wet all weekend, baby. ;) We’re at the pool.
He was just backing out of the text when his daughter yelled to him.
“What’s up?” He called back.
She bounced up and hooked her arms on the ledge of the concrete. “Do you plan on coming in?”
He glanced to the double door entrance to the pool, before looking back at his daughter. “Soon.”
She rolled her eyes. “Okay.” Then Rachelle splashed her from behind, and Scarlett took off after her.
I already am, and I haven’t even seen you yet. ; ) We’re checking in. See you soon.
Gage grabbed his phone when it chimed with a new message. Reading it, he grinned.
“Why are smiling?” Scarlett asked, pulling Gage from any thoughts of Tilly.
“Oh
,” He waved a hand. “Nothing. Just a message.”
Scarlett lifted her arms and began to wring out the water from her long hair. “Is it Mom?”
Gage felt those words shot to him from only a few feet, hitting him in the chest. The night before, he, Heather and Scarlett had dinner for the first time in days. It was nice. Nicer than Gage wanted to admit. There were a few times his mind drifted off to what it’d be like to be sitting at the dinner table with Tilly and her kids. All of them merging into a happy family. Would it be that easy of a transition for all parties? Would there be hostility? When Gage and Heather had retreated to their bedroom that night, Gage faked a headache. Even the quintessential excuse almost had him choking on the words. Heather offered to join them for the weekend, but again, Gage pushed her back, telling her to take the weekend to get her work done, so when they got back, they all had time to spend together. He choked on those words, too.
“No, honey, just one of the guys,” he told her then added, “Go swim, cause after a bit, we’ll grab lunch.”
“On our way down to the pool, I saw someone with a pizza, it looked so good,” Rachelle said, coming up next to Scarlett. “Can we see where the closest pizza place is?”
“I’m on it,” Gage told her.
“Cool.” They both said in unison and took off in a race.
Gage had his knees bent, feet to the chair, face in his phone, checking out the menu for the restaurant in the hotel, when he felt the shift. His lips slowly turned up into a smile. He felt her. Then he heard her voice. The sound coasting through the air, landing in his gut.
“Yes, Justin, go. I’ll get the chairs.”
“There’s no one here.” Justin said scanning the pool, stopping when he saw the girls at the other end of it.
“What’s wrong, Justin?” Ashley teased, leaning closer and whispering, “See something you like?”
Gage was trying to hold in the chuckle as they all grew closer to him.