Sadie

by E. L. Todd

  “For a few days,” I answered. The question was directed at Ethan but I wanted to eliminate some of the heat he was taking. Ethan started to eat his food. Before this, he couldn’t get a single bite in.

  “Oh,” my father said. “When you came by the store, it seemed like you had known each other for a while.”

  “No,” I said. “But we had a connection really quickly.”

  He turned to Ethan. “Thanks for coming to dinner. If my daughter brought you here, she must really like you. It’s never happened before.”

  Ethan glanced at me with soft eyes.

  I smiled at him, not embarrassed that I never had someone I thought was worthy of meeting my family. Since he knew I was a virgin, I didn’t feel so ashamed.

  “I feel honored,” he finally said.

  Jared glared at him. “Do you really, or do you just say that to all of them?”

  Ethan averted his gaze.

  My father looked at Jared. “What’s your problem, Jared? Treat our guest with respect.”

  Jared shook his head and continued to eat his food. My brother was generally nice to everyone he met. It took a lot to make him angry. The fact that he pretty much hated Ethan had me worried. Ethan must have done something pretty awful to elicit this response from him. We ate the rest of the meal in silence, which I was thankful for. When we were done, I grabbed the plates and took them into the kitchen. I started to wash them then Ethan came in to help me a moment later. We didn’t say anything to one another. I could tell Ethan was upset by the look in his eyes.

  When we were finished, we walked back into the living room where my dad and brother were watching television on the couch. Ethan sat down and I sat right next to him. Jared glanced at us then looked back the television. I held Ethan’s hand in my own but it felt ice cold. There was definitely something on his mind.

  We sat together for an hour watching television until I decided it was best if we left. This evening was extremely awkward. I wanted to end it as soon as possible. “Well, we’re going to head out.” When we stood up, Jared did as well.

  “Me too,” he said with a serious look.

  My father hugged Jared then he hugged me. “I’ll see you kids later.” And then, to my surprise, he hugged Ethan. “You’re always welcome here.”

  Ethan smiled but the happiness didn’t reach his eyes. “Thank you.”

  I smiled at their interaction.

  We walked to the front door then closed the door behind us. Jared appeared a moment later. He walked up to me, ignoring Ethan completely. “I need to talk to you.”

  “About what?”

  He glared at Ethan then returned his look to me. “You can guess.”

  Ethan shifted his weight and looked uncomfortable.

  “Why can’t you tell me now? It’s obvious that you two dislike each other for some reason. What’s the problem?”

  Ethan sighed. “I don’t dislike him. He dislikes me.”

  Jared crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t want you to see him anymore.”

  “What? Why?” I asked.

  Jared leaned closer to me. “This guy that you are so hung up on is a liar, a pig, a womanizer, and an asshole. He’s just going to screw you over like he’s done to every chick he’s nailed. You know how many girls in the office he’s fucked and never spoken to again? Do you know how many women he’s slept with? I don’t even know the guy that well and I know that. He picks up chicks in bars, sleeps with them, then acts like they don’t exist. He isn’t good for you.”

  I felt my heart fall. I suspected that Ethan wasn’t perfect, but that was pretty bad. That was my first impression of him, but after the way he treated me, I thought I was wrong.

  Jared looked at me. “You haven’t slept together yet, have you?”

  I shook my head.

  “That’s why he’s still around.” He glared at Ethan. “But I can’t believe you stooped so low as to come to my family’s house just to fuck my sister.” He clenched his fists at his side.

  I grabbed his arm. “There will be no fighting, Jared.”

  My brother ignored me.

  I turned to Ethan. He refused to meet my look. I could tell by the way he was acting that everything my brother said was true. “Ethan?”

  “Yes?”

  “Is Jared telling the truth?” I knew Ethan wasn’t a liar, or at least that’s what he said, so I waited for his response.

  “Yes,” he said quietly.

  I stared at him for a moment. “So you just use women?”

  He nodded.

  Jared nodded his approval.

  I tried to control my racing heart. “So, when you met me—”

  Ethan finally looked at me. “No, Sadie. Not at all. I meant every word I said to you.”

  I said nothing for a moment. “Were you just trying to trick me?”

  “No,” he said firmly. “Absolutely not.”

  Jared shook his head. “Don’t listen to him, Sadie. He’s lying.”

  Ethan placed his hand on my arm. “Sadie, you know I’m not lying. If I were, the other night would have gone much differently.”

  He didn’t have sex with me. He could have had me then left but he didn’t. He made it clear that he wanted to know I was completely sure about it.

  “Sadie, everything Jared said is true. That was me. But everything changed when I met you—I changed.”

  Jared shook his head. “You changed in four days?”

  Ethan ignored him. “As soon as I saw you, I knew that I wanted something else with you. I wouldn’t have asked you to coffee, taken you to dinner, watched a movie with you, and wouldn’t have come to your father’s house if I didn’t care about you—and want to be with you. And I would have done things differently if I felt otherwise.”

  I stared at him, unsure what to say.

  He sighed. “Baby, please give me a chance. I know that’s hard because I used to be an asshole, but I’m different. I feel different with you. I—I don’t want to lose you. I’m committed to you. I don’t want anyone else.”

  I still said nothing.

  Jared glared at him. “Get the hell out of here.”

  Ethan didn’t move. “Baby? Baby, if you want me to leave I will. If you don’t want me in your life anymore, that’s fine. I don’t blame you. But I’m not lying to you and I never have. Please give me a chance to prove that to you.”

  “Save it,” Jared snapped.

  I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I believe you.”

  Jared’s mouth fell open. “What? He’s lying to you, Sadie.”

  “I don’t think he is,” I said as I held Ethan’s hand.

  “He’s just saying that until he gets what he wants,” my brother said.

  I wanted to tell my brother how Ethan refused to have sex with me but that was such a personal conversation. I didn’t know what to do. “Jared, just trust me on this one.”

  My brother shook his head. “And even if he is telling the truth, he’s just going to go back to his old ways when he gets tired of you, Sadie. Why do you only pick the bad ones? What is it with you?”

  “Jared, thank you for looking after me, but—”

  Jared turned away and walked down the street, ignoring me completely. I watched him walk away with a broken heart. My brother and I were so close. I wished this wasn’t happening. But I believed that Ethan was telling the truth, and I loved him. I wanted to give this relationship a try. He made me happy, happier than I had ever been. And the fact that he refused to have sex with me until he knew I was ready was enough proof for me. If that’s all he wanted from me, then we would have fucked already.

  Ethan wrapped his arms around me and held me to his chest. “I don’t want this to happen to you. I don’t want you to lose your brother over this.”

  “I could never lose him. He loves me.”

  “Well, I don’t want your relationship to change.”

  “And I don’t want to lose you.”

  “Your brother is more
important than me, Sadie.”

  “I’ll talk to him.”

  “And say what?”

  “That I know you’re different. That I trust you. You aren’t using me.”

  “And how are you going to convince him?”

  “The truth.”

  “Won’t that be awkward?”

  “An awkward moment is better than losing you forever.”

  He sighed. “Are you sure?”

  I pulled away. “Yes.”

  He smiled at me. “I’ll do whatever I can to prove myself to you and your brother.”

  “You don’t need to prove anything to me, Ethan.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t deserve you.”

  “I think you do.”

  “Well, I’ll prove it to your brother.”

  “That you may have to do. But let me talk to him first.”

  “Okay.”

  8

  When we walked back into my apartment, I sat down on the couch. Koku jumped in my lap with a toy in his mouth. I hadn’t been paying much attention to him for the past few days and I felt guilty about it. I grabbed the toy and threw it across the room. He fetched it and returned to my lap. Ethan sat beside me and leaned forward. He stared at the blank television screen for a long time.

  “Baby, I think it’s best if we wait.”

  I felt my heart accelerate. I really wanted this to happen between us. I’d been waiting my whole life to be with someone in a passionate moment. All the other men didn’t get my blood pumping or my hormones raging. Ethan was the first guy who did that. “Why?”

  “In light of what happened with Jared, I don’t think it’s a good idea. I mean, what if he never accepts me and you give yourself to me—then we just break up? Shouldn’t you be with someone that you have a better chance with? Or someone that is going to mean more to you?”

  I crawled into his lap and looked at him. “Ethan, I want it to be you.”

  “Why? You could have anyone you want, Sadie.”

  I shook my head. “Well, fortunately for you, you’re the only one I want.”

  “I respect you too much to take something so pure then disappear.”

  “Why would you disappear?”

  “Because you’ll leave me.”

  “Ethan, I’ve dated guys before. I’ve met a ton of them, but I’ve never felt this way for someone before. You make me dizzy and nervous. I want to be with you all the time. I’ve never seen someone so attractive. You are different.”

  “I’m flattered.”

  “And I—”

  He looked at me. “What?”

  I knew I loved him but it was too soon to tell him. I didn’t want to scare him off. I suspected that he felt the same way but what if I was wrong? I didn’t want to ruin what we had. “I really care about you.”

  “You just met me.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “You’re the only person that makes my blood rush to my head. I don’t need to be around you for a year to understand how much I want to be with you. What does it matter? Sometimes you just know, Ethan. I know.”

  He stared at me. “You’re sure?”

  “Yeah.”

  He smiled. “That makes me really happy.”

  “It does?”

  “Yes, because I feel the same way.”

  I felt my heart throb at his words. I pressed my forehead against his and looked into his eyes. He placed his hands on my waist and slipped his fingers under my shirt, feeling the skin.

  “You are amazing, Sadie. I knew it the moment I saw you.”

  I was so happy that I thought I would explode. I was different than the other women he’d been with. I was special. Even though I was ordinary and plain, he thought I was extraordinary and beautiful. And he wanted me. “I’m glad that I met you in that bar.”

  “Me too.” He rubbed his nose against mine. “And I don’t ever want to lose you—ever.”

  “You won’t.”

  “What about your brother?”

  “He’ll come around. When he sees us together, he’ll know that you’ve changed.”

  “Thank you for believing in me.”

  “It wasn’t hard.”

  He placed a gentle kiss on my lips then pulled away. “Sadie, I really want to make love to you.”

  “Good.”

  “And you’re sure that you want it to be me?”

  “Definitely.”

  He smiled. “I was hoping you would say that.”

  He wrapped his arms around my waist then carried me into my bedroom. He closed the door with his foot so Koku wouldn’t bother us. When he laid me on the bed, he leaned over me. It was dark in the room but I could see him from the light coming through the window. I felt my heart accelerate when I realized what we were about to do. I had waited a long time for this moment. I was excited and nervous at the same time.

  “We can stop anytime you want, baby.”

  “I know.” I grabbed his face and kissed him deeply. The kiss was gentle and sweet, and when his tongue touched mine, I moaned. I gasped for air as his touch made me aroused instantly. He was such a good kisser. I ran my fingers through his hair as he caressed my tongue with his. I grabbed his jacket then pulled it off his body. Then I unbuttoned his shirt and removed it. I ran my hands up his naked chest and felt the hills of his muscles. His chest was large and wide, making me feel small and weak. I sat up and grabbed his pants then yanked them off, removing his underwear at the same time. When I saw his erection, I moaned. His naked body was a sight to behold. He was strong and fit. Staring at his cock made me wet. I didn’t know how I was going to fit it inside my body, but I knew I wanted to try. I reached out and grabbed his ass, feeling the muscles with my hands. I loved his ass.

  “That’s your favorite part, isn’t it?” he said in between our kisses.

  “I love all of it.”

  “I’m glad that you want me so much. I’m going to have to get you soaked if this is going to work.”

  “I think I already am.”

  He pressed his fingers against my clitoris and started to rub me gently. I immediately started to pant for him. His fingers slipped inside and massaged me with proficiency. His thumb continued to circle my clitoris. My threshold for an orgasm was really low, so I already felt one coming. The feel of his gloriously naked body on mine was so perfect and right.

  “Ethan.”

  He rubbed me harder until I started to scratch his back. It exploded in the pit of my stomach, radiating everywhere. I panted loudly as I felt my mind become dizzy. My leaned my head back as I caught my breath. Ethan continued to kiss me. “I think you’re ready, baby. I wanted to make you come just in case I couldn’t during sex.”

  He stripped off my clothes while he kissed me everywhere. His lips trailed across my stomach and he even kissed me in the area between my legs. I never had a guy go down on me and it felt amazing. When he pulled away, he kissed my thighs then my breasts.

  “You’re so gorgeous, baby.”

  “Thank you.”

  He smiled. “Are you sure you want this?”

  I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer to me. I wanted to feel him inside me. “Yes,” I begged. “Please. I want you.”

  “Sadie, this will probably hurt. Almost every girl that I’ve deflowered said it was painful and cried. Your expectations probably won’t be met. It may take a while for it to start feeling good.” I processed his words but said nothing. I suspected it would hurt but I wasn’t sure how much. Ethan stared at me, his eyes serious. “And everything will change. You’re mine forever, Sadie. I’m not going to let you go after I make love to you.”

  “I don’t want you to.”

  “Good. Because you won’t be able to get rid of me.”

  “Ethan.”

  He leaned over me with my legs spread. “You are mine. Do you understand?”

  I ran my hands down his back. “Yeah.”

  “Will you give me your virginity?”

  “Yes,” I whispered.<
br />
  “I’m not going to wear a condom. I don’t want your first time to be with one. I want it to be all me. I swear I’m clean and I’ll pull out.”

  “Okay.” I didn’t really care at that point. I just wanted to feel Ethan inside me.

  “I’m going to go really slow, baby. This will probably hurt. If it does, tell me to stop.” He pressed his cock against my entrance and I felt the tip go in. Just that alone was a stretch. I immediately felt my body try to accommodate his large size. His thick head was bigger than I imagined. My nails dug into his back.

  Ethan moaned as he moved further within me. I knew how tight I was. That probably felt really good to him. He was right. It was painful. He pushed inside me but my body would only give him so much room. It did feel good, but the pain was also there.

  His forehead was pressed against mine, looking into my eyes. The closeness made feel better. I opened my legs wider, hoping that would help him slide in. It didn’t. It was still an effort.

  I grabbed his hips and pulled him further into me, wanting to take all of him already. The sooner he was inside, the sooner my body would adjust. When his entire shaft was finally in, I felt the tears burn under my eyes. I didn’t want to cry when we made love. I wanted it to be a happy moment, not a painful experience.

  Ethan didn’t move when he was inside me, which I was grateful for. I needed a minute to adjust. His thumb circled my clitoris, making me aroused again. When I felt the pleasure from his hand, I felt myself relax around him slightly. It still hurt but I was getting used to the pain.

  Ethan gently rocked into me one time. The movement made me gasp. He immediately stopped, kissing me gently. After a moment of rest, he did it again. I was stretched beyond my capacity, and I felt the burn and the tear. I kept my tears behind my eyes, wanting to get past it. Ethan started to rock into me at a gentle pace.

  I felt a tear fall.

  When Ethan saw it he stopped moving and kissed it away. “Do you want to stop?”

  “No.”

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “It’s going to hurt no matter what. Keep going.”

  He stared at me for a long time before he started to move inside me again.