Beth's Eyes

by A J Estelliam

  ‘Of course,’ Detective Trent sympathised.

  ‘He carried me to a white van and tossed me in the back like I weighed nothing. He slammed the door shut and then I heard the engine start. I screamed and screamed but nothing happened. I banged against the van’s metal but nothing…I was so scared…so scared,’ I said, trailing off.

  ‘What happened next?’ Anderson asked, speaking up for the first time in a while.

  ‘Well, he drove for a short while and I remember the ride got bumpier and bumpier. I was assuming we’d got to smaller, track-like roads.’

  ‘Makes sense based on where you were found,’ Anderson commented.

  ‘Well, then the van suddenly stops. I was so terrified…I was screaming like a banshee.’

  ‘And when the van door opened?’ Trent pushed.

  I took a slow, deep breath and tried to control my emotions. ‘He pulled open the door and was immediately in the back of the van, pinning me down with his huge body. He stank…he stank of stale beer. It made me gag. He bound my hands together then and then sat astride me as he put his hands round my neck. He strangled me until I passed out and then waited until I came around again. He did that twice,’ I told them, as tears welled in my eyes. The terror had been incredible. I hadn’t been able to control the fear that I experienced in those moments and my bladder had released as I thought my life was ebbing away.

  ‘You came around both times?’ Detective Trent asked.

  ‘I did, yes. When I next came around, he had a knife in his hands.’

  ‘What kind of knife?’

  ‘It was a hunting knife,’ I told him. ‘Really big-with serrated edges.’

  ‘Okay…what did he do with it?’

  ‘He, uh…first he cut some of my clothes so he could uh…well, he cut my jeans to get to me and then…he uh…assaulted me,’ I told them, averting my gaze from them both in shame.

  ‘Can you describe the assault?’ Trent asked.

  My eyes shot to his. ‘Do I have to?’

  ‘It would help,’ he said, honestly.

  I looked down once more. ‘He cut my jeans by my thigh and uh…my knickers too. He then pinned me down, the knife now at my throat.’

  ‘He held the knife to your throat while raping you?’ Trent checked.

  ‘Yes. It dug in so much that I could feel the dripping of blood down my neck.’

  Trent nodded, waiting for me to continue.

  ‘He forced himself on me physically and penetrated me roughly…but not with uh…himself,’ I said awkwardly. ‘He used the other end of the hammer to rape me. That didn’t last long and then he dropped the knife but began smacking me around the face with his bare hands. Again and again he slapped me until my cheeks were red raw. Then he picked up the knife again and made cuts all over me, running the knife in just enough to draw blood.’

  ‘What happened after he cut you, Beth?’ Anderson asked, clearly captivated by my horrific tale.

  ‘He, uh…got the hammer and lifted it. He was sat astride me as he swung it down upon my head. Immediately my world went black but within minutes I came around. He was dragging me across the forest floor-I knew as I could feel the leaves and branches…even the roots of the trees beneath me.’

  ‘You were conscious at that point?’ the detective asked.

  ‘Barely,’ I replied. ‘When he reached a certain point, he stopped and just dropped my legs which he had been pulling me by. He stabbed me three times with the knife and then brought the hammer down onto my head again. After checking my pulse, he was gone.’

  ‘You remember him checking your pulse?’ Anderson questioned.

  ‘I do, yes. I remember it specifically.’

  ‘Specifically?’ the detective said. ‘Why do you say that?’

  ‘Because it was the moment I died,’ I replied sadly, holding his eyes resolutely. ‘He checked my pulse, and then I died.’

  Chapter 3

  A brief silence filled the room as the two occupants stared at me stunned.

  ‘When you say ‘you died,’ the detective murmured softly, ‘obviously you don’t actually mean dead?’

  ‘Yes actually, I do,’ I replied, holding his eyes steadfastly.

  ‘I, uh…I hate to point out the obvious,’ he said slowly, ‘but you’re here, lucid and speaking. Miss Ellison-you’re still breathing too!’

  ‘I know I am…now,’ I replied.

  Detective Trent looked towards Anderson in support, looking to see what she would say. Anderson gave a sort of half-hearted shrug and seemed unwilling to comment. I was about to argue the fact that she knew I had died but then stopped myself. As a doctor, I was sure it may not go down well that she had called time of death and then I had woken in a body bag. Strangely, I didn’t want to get her into trouble and therefore I quickly changed my tack.

  ‘I saw the light,’ I told him, looking back at him. ‘But I guess that must have me going into an unconscious state,’ I said, glancing at Anderson. ‘In those moments, I felt like it was the end. I felt like I had died.’

  ‘Oh I see!’ he replied, seemingly relieved at the explanation.

  ‘I don’t remember anything else of the attack.’

  ‘When did you next wake?’ he asked.

  I was about to say that it had been in the forest, watching as Anderson dealt with my body but stopped myself again. Instead I cleared my throat and lied a little. ‘The next time I woke was in the ambulance…I, uh…’ I trailed off, not wanting to land Anderson in deep shit but knowing that others had witnessed the situation.

  ‘We had put Beth in a body bag, I’m ashamed to admit. We know now that she must have stopped breathing momentarily which is where the mistake was made. When she woke in the ambulance, I immediately gave her medical care and put her on oxygen.’

  ‘So-you had thought she was dead?’ he questioned.

  She nodded, swallowing hard. ‘I…yes.’

  ‘There will have to be an investigation then.’

  ‘I’m aware,’ she nodded, ‘I accept that.’

  ‘I’m actually feeling very tired now,’ I said, speaking up. ‘Could we continue this another time?’ I requested, hoping to stop this conversation continuing.

  He nodded, standing. ‘Absolutely. I have all I need for now anyhow. Thank you for your time, Miss Ellison. I hope your recovery will be quick. I’ll be in touch when you’re less exhausted to get a sketch done of the assailant.’

  I nodded, yawning.

  ‘I’ll see myself out,’ he told us.

  ‘Thank you,’ I replied and watched him go.

  Once the door was closed, I turned to face Anderson.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said softly.

  ‘For what?’ I asked.

  ‘For skimming over my negligence last night…’

  I swallowed hard, unable to look away from the intensity of her beautiful, blue eyes. ‘I just…didn’t want you to get into trouble.’

  ‘It’s unavoidable at this point, Beth. I declared you dead at the scene,’ she told me, her expression raw with emotion.

  I nodded slowly. ‘I know…I was watching.’

  She looked at me for a long moment, shaking her head slowly in denial.

  ‘I don’t blame you for what you did, Anderson,’ I told her. ‘You got it right! I was dead. We just…we can’t reveal that, I don’t think.’

  ‘No…I know. It’s just…completely unbelievable and people won’t accept it I don’t think.’

  ‘Then it stays between us,’ I stated, our eyes still connected intensely.

  ‘Between us,’ she repeated, staring at me.

  The intensity of our connection was incredible. I could feel the electric chemistry arcing between us and I had no idea what to do about it. There was nothing I could do about it anyway, lying in a hospital bed with a body which was almost destroyed.

  ‘I should leave you to sleep,’ she murmured.

  ‘Please don’t leave me,’ I requested, suddenly desperate not to be alone.

 
‘You want me to stay?’

  ‘Yes,’ I replied before thinking.

  ‘You know there’s a policeman guarding your door? You are safe, Beth.’

  ‘I know…I just…I wanted you to stay…’

  She looked at me for a long moment. ‘I’ll stay,’ she said quietly.

  I nodded. ‘Thanks.’

  I closed my eyes and was almost instantly asleep.

  The next time I woke, I moaned in pain. The soreness in my body was worse than before and I felt extremely uncomfortable.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Beth asked, instantly at my side.

  ‘Everything hurts,’ I groaned, in awful pain.

  ‘Do you want some more pain relief?’ she questioned.

  ‘Yes please.’

  ‘I can set up a morphine drug which you can self-administer every time you feel a lot of pain.’

  ‘Self-administer? I think I’d be pushing it all the time at the moment!’ I said, on another groan of pain.

  ‘That’s fine,’ she told me, ‘you can’t give yourself too much. It’s safe and will make you feel far less pain-and it has the benefit of making you feel completely drunk and blissful without touching a drink,’ she chuckled. ‘You’ll be out of your head in no time,’ she smiled.

  ‘In that case-yes please,’ I said gratefully. ‘It hurts so badly.’

  ‘Okay. Give me a minute and I’ll be back,’ she promised, heading out of the room.

  ‘Thank you, Anderson,’ I murmured through gritted, pained teeth.

  Once Anderson was gone, the hospital room suddenly felt very different to me. It was cold, quiet and a little bit still for my liking. The pain I was feeling was immense and the pounding in my head was only increasing.

  I felt my eyes began to close and a blackness spread across my vision. In an instant, I was elsewhere and looking through different eyes.

  Her scent was intoxicating. I stood nearby, breathing it in and aching to get closer to her. She stood by the counter, smiling politely to the customers she served. When it was my turn, I put on my most gentlemanly manner and approached her.

  ‘Hello, how can I help you?’ she smiled.

  I glanced at her name tag. It read ‘Roxy.’ The name was too slutty for my liking so I renamed her Susan in my own head. ‘Hello,’ I replied, smiling kindly at her, looking like the mild-mannered man I pretended to be.

  ‘How can I help you today, sir?’

  ‘I’d like to withdraw some money please,’ I told her, eyeing her intently.

  ‘Okay, no problem,’ she said smiling and began dealing with my request. I deliberately touched her soft hand as she handed me the cash and asked me to sign a slip of paper. I thanked her and left, heading out to wait for the end of her shift. I wanted to kill her, and I wanted it to be soon.

  I came too in an instant and was back in my hospital bed. Bending over the side of the bed, I was promptly sick over the side. Images were beginning to flash and I heaved and vomited again and again as blood, gore and savagery filled my head.

  ‘Oh my God!’ Anderson exclaimed, arriving back in the room.

  I groaned as I slumped back on the bed.

  ‘Nurse!’ Anderson called, getting assistance.

  I lay back as the clear up occurred all around me. Anderson washed my face and changed me as the nurses cleared up the sick. Once I was clean and dry once more, the room was deserted and I was alone for a few minutes before Anderson returned. When she did, she carried medicine for me.

  ‘Let me get this set up and then you’ll start feeling better,’ she told me gravely.

  ‘Anderson, you don’t understand…I saw something while you were gone.’

  ‘What do you mean you saw something?’ she questioned as she turned my arm and began looking for a vein.

  ‘I had a vision,’ I told her. ‘A vision of death.’

  ‘Well that’s hardly surprising after what you’ve been through, Beth.’

  ‘No, I mean I wasn’t me!’ I exclaimed.

  She frowned at me, and stopped what she was doing.

  ‘I was this man…and I was looking for someone to kill. There was this woman. She was working in a bank and he decided it was her that he wanted to have for himself. I watched him hunting her…and then…’ I trailed off.

  ‘And then what, Beth?’

  ‘And then blood…and gore…and just…oh my God, it made me sick…’

  She frowned at me, looking at me with concern.

  ‘You think I’m going mad?’

  ‘No Beth, no, I just think you’ve been through a horrendous ordeal. I think you’re suffering and that it’s possible your mind is playing tricks on you. Let me give you this morphine and the pain will be a lot better.’

  I nodded, relaxing back a little. I was in pain and I was suffering from what I’d been through but somehow I knew what I had seen was accurate. It had been so real. It had been acutely detailed and it felt like it had just happened.

  I watched as Anderson inserted the needle and set up the morphine which I would be able to self-administer when I felt the need. She showed me how to press the button and explained I couldn’t overdose as it didn’t allow me too. Several moments after the first dose of the drug, I began to feel my body soften with pleasure as my pain eased.

  ‘Ah,’ I moaned, leaning back.

  ‘You’ll feel relief pretty quickly,’ she told me.

  ‘Feel better already,’ I said dozily, resting back against the pillows.

  Anderson watched me for a long moment, her expression unfathomable. She lifted her hand to my forehead and gently moved a small tendril of hair away from my eyes. I felt the touch of her fingers like a little jolt of electricity coursing through me. It was incredible and I held her eyes, fascinated by my reaction. She quickly looked away and so I was unable to see what she was thinking. Sitting down beside me, she spoke quietly.

  ‘You should sleep, Beth,’ she told me.

  ‘Not tired,’ I murmured.

  ‘The more you sleep, the quicker you’ll heal,’ she told me.

  ‘Stay here?’ I requested, feeling sleepier by the minute.

  ‘Yes, of course I’ll stay,’ she told me, laying her hand over mine.

  I sighed, contentedly and closed my eyes to rest.

  ‘You sleep. I won’t go anywhere,’ she murmured.

  ‘Mmm,’ I moaned, feeling so happy to have her here. I slipped into a restful slumber, aided by the drug coursing through my system.

  The next time I woke, I realised that Anderson had been true to her word. She still sat in the chair beside the bed and she was sleeping. Looking at her, she seemed to be absolutely exhausted. Her eyes had purple bags underneath her long lashes and the fact that she rested so peacefully in an uncomfortable chair told me how tired she was.

  Once again, I admired her from my hospital bed. She was so incredibly attractive with her long lashes against her pale skin. In my foggy state of medicated bliss, I admired her at leisure. When she woke, I continued my appraisal of her without embarrassment.

  ‘Hey,’ she said softly.

  I smiled at her, happily.

  ‘You look rested.’

  ‘I feel great,’ I told her, grinning at her beautiful features.

  She smiled at me. ‘That’ll be the medication working,’ she commented wryly.

  ‘You know something, Anderson?’

  ‘What’s that?’ she asked, tilting her head towards me.

  ‘You’re gorgeous,’ I told her, ‘all lines and angles. You look so strong…and your eyes!’ I gushed, unable to stop myself in my drug-induced haze. ‘They’re just dreamy…’

  ‘Okay,’ she said, clearing her throat uncomfortably and sitting up straight on the edge of the chair. ‘I see you’re enjoying the morphine.’

  ‘Oh yes I am,’ I smiled, ‘but Andi…can I call you Andi? Anderson is so formal,’ I parroted, ‘do your friends call you Andi? It suits you, I think,’ I said, babbling on.

  ‘Uh, look Beth, I need to go for a w
hile. I need to shower and change before my shift starts.’

  ‘You’re leaving me?’ I asked, feeling distraught.

  ‘Only for a short time…just to get showered and changed.’

  ‘Will you come back?’ I asked, mooning at her dreamily.

  ‘Of course I will. I won’t be long at all. Watch some TV or something to distract yourself. Here…there’s the controller.’

  ‘Thanks,’ I replied, accepting the device.

  ‘Okay…I’ll be back soon.’

  ‘I can’t wait,’ I replied, pushing my morphine button for more drugs. They made me feel so much better.

  She smiled sardonically and then quickly left the room.

  Left to my own devices, I switched on the television and flicked through the channels. I paused on the news as something caught my attention. I quickly pushed the volume button upwards as the woman spoke. It wasn’t her that I was watching, it was the photograph displayed by the side of her face. She looked familiar, and it took me a while to understand why.

  Banking assistant Roxy Taylor has been missing since this afternoon. Colleagues are concerned for her safety after she disappeared from her break this afternoon. Surveillance shows a figure in black overpowering her outside the building. Police are investigating and are keen to hear from anyone with extra information on the number displayed on the screen now.

  I gasped and sat up straight in the bed. Pulling wires away from myself, I hurtled myself out of the hospital bed.

  Chapter 4

  I searched for clothing but there was none. I currently wore a hospital gown which gaped at the back. That wouldn’t do, I knew so I looked everywhere around the room and beyond, trying to find something to wear.

  ‘Beth! What the hell are you doing?’ a shocked voice exclaimed then.

  I turned and stared at Anderson who had returned unexpectedly.

  ‘I need some clothes!’ I said rapidly, feeling keen to get out of the hospital.