Listening for Lucca

by Suzanne LaFleur

  “There, now you look angelic.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Like an angel. Let’s go downstairs and meet your date.”

  Joshua took longer than me to get ready, so I waited in the living room, sitting up on the sofa so I wouldn’t get wrinkles or rumples. Dad kept looking at me over his newspaper, and he smiled a couple of times, but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t interrupt my waiting.

  When Joshua finally came downstairs, he was so handsome!

  “You look beautiful,” he told me. All the sad and worry that had been on his face in the afternoon was gone; he smiled and lowered his arm to me.

  “Have fun,” Mama said as we walked off the front porch and headed for the summer trolley.

  We rode the trolley to the community center and Joshua paid for our tickets at the door. There were no other children my age, but there were kids Joshua’s age and up. Everyone seemed to take interest in my being there and asked who the little lady was, even though they’d all seen me a million times at church and the library and school. There was dancing for about an hour and then dinner: chicken with peas and carrots and potatoes with watery gravy. Then they brought around coffee. I tasted the coffee and made a terrible face; the grown-ups at my table laughed and one of them got me a glass of milk instead. Some lady from the community center stood up and thanked everyone and said that we’d raised enough money to send twenty-three blankets! Joshua got that look on his face just for a moment, but then everyone clapped and the band started playing again and everyone was pulling each other up to dance some more. Joshua was right; I didn’t think of anything else, just how fun it was to be swinging around and swishing my navy-blue dress. It was still a hot night and the back of my neck got sticky under my loose hair, but you could even forget about that when the music was good and your feet were going. Some slower music came on and Joshua stooped to dance with his hands on my waist and my hands on his shoulders. A man from the newspaper with a camera asked if he could take our picture, and we turned to smile for him.

  I pulled out of Sarah’s mind, suddenly back in the windowsill, clutching my pen and notebook, stunned.

  I’d recognized him, Joshua. He was the boy I’d seen on the beach. Which made Sarah the girl. So that had definitely been a vision.

  And I remembered where I’d heard the name Jezzie before.

  9

  I woke in the morning after a dreamless sleep.

  I was disappointed; I’d wanted to have another of those dreams, the war dreams. Sarah’s story was taking place during wartime; the rationing and the radio and the fundraising dance made me pretty sure it was the Second World War. Were the dreams of the same war?

  Maybe it was best that I hadn’t had one of the dreams. I always woke from them feeling kind of sick.

  Even though I’d definitely slipped into that summertime sense of days without names or numbers, it had been a couple of days since we’d put the little butterfly hair clip in the lost-and-found box. I could go get it and then come back and see what else I could learn from Sarah.

  I got dressed and yelled to Mom that I was walking into town.

  “Hey!” Sam said when I entered Nielly’s. “Siena?” he asked, as if checking. I nodded. “Come to do your shopping? Want some strawberries?”

  I looked over toward the produce, where a hundred small green cardboard bins held a multitude of bright red berries. A shiver ran down my spine. “No, thank you.”

  We stood there awkwardly.

  “So … how can I help you, then?” Sam asked.

  “The clip we put in the lost and found … is it still here?”

  “Oh, that. Let’s see.” We headed to the box. Sam took it out and shifted the contents around. “Still here.”

  I looked into his face, which I realized was kind of cute. He had a stretch of summer freckles across his nose and blond sun-streaks in his hair. So he couldn’t be spending all his time cooped up in this shop.

  “Well, do you want it or not?” Sam asked in response to my staring at him as if I had totally forgotten the reason I’d come to the store. My cheeks flushed pink.

  “Uh, yeah, thanks.” I held out my hand and he dropped the clip into it. Then he shook his head, puzzled.

  Whatever. What did it really matter what Sam thought? I’d known all along I was going to be lousy at this new-friend thing.

  “Well, bye,” I said, suddenly in a hurry to leave.

  “You’re kind of mysterious, you know.” I turned back. “You show up here out of the blue, no one knows where you came from or why you bothered to come to this summerland to stay …”

  Oh, that was all. Phew.

  “They don’t know because they didn’t ask,” I pointed out.

  “Okay, fair enough. So where are you from and what are you doing here?”

  “Brooklyn. And looking for a more relaxed life.”

  “Well, here we are very relaxed.” To show how much, he leaned against the register with his elbow, but it slipped. He caught himself. “See?”

  I laughed. I didn’t want to get too comfortable, though: things were going well, but I might muck them up. “Bye, Sam.”

  As I went down the front steps, Morgan was coming up.

  “Hi. What’s up?” she asked.

  “Just heading home.”

  She held up a DVD box and shook it.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “Some sci-fi movie Sam left at my house last night. He loves this stuff. He tried to get me to watch it, but I fell asleep.”

  Did they watch movies by themselves or with other friends? Were they boyfriend and girlfriend? I didn’t know her well enough to ask.

  Morgan and I stood there for a minute, and then she said, “Well, see ya.”

  “Yeah, see ya.”

  When I got to my room, I set the butterfly clip on the shelf with my collection. It was a pretty addition. A very personal item for someone to have lost. Good thing I’d found it.

  I lay down on my bed, threw my shoes on the floor, and put my feet up on the wall, feeling sorry for myself.

  Either one of them could have invited me to hang out with them today. But why should I have expected that?

  I pushed the idea of being friends with Sam or Morgan away and drifted into thoughts of Sarah. When I was in Sarah’s mind, I could forget myself completely. I could be inside someone who seemed so normal, someone who had a normal brother and a normal relationship with him. And the story felt like it was going somewhere. I hadn’t figured out what had happened here yet, but I still bet that I could, if I kept trying.

  I rolled over onto my stomach and got the notebook and pen ready.

  I lay outside, in the yard, on my stomach in the grass, reading one of Joshua’s comic books that he’d lent me.

  Mama hates for me to do that, lie in the grass. It gets stains on my clothes that Vicky has to scrub and scrub to get out. If they come out. The worst is when I get grass stains on my white stockings, but, luckily, in the summer heat I hadn’t been told to wear any. I would have to scrub my bare knees in the tub myself.

  Jezzie showed up with the newspaper and a scowl on her face.

  “What?” I sat up.

  She held up the front page and read the headline, “ ‘Town dances to donate blankets to troops.’ ”

  I recognized the picture. “Hey, that’s me! Me and Joshua!” I snatched the paper from her and read the caption. “ ‘Joshua and Sarah Alberdine at Sunday night’s fund-raising dance.’ ” I looked beautiful!

  “What were you doing, going to a dance?”

  I shrugged. “Joshua invited me and Mama said it was okay.”

  “If he needed to take someone from the family, he should have taken me. I’m five years older than you.”

  “Why would he take you?” Inside, I was tickled. Finally I’d done something that Jezzie was jealous of, that she saw as grown up.

  “Forget it.” Jezzie sat, crossing her arms over her chest. She shook her head many times and pres
sed her ears absentmindedly. It was several minutes before she spoke again. “What should we do?”

  “You always know what you want to do.” I kept my eyes on the comic book. “You think of something.”

  It was true: Jezzie did always know. If I bothered suggesting anything, she would pooh-pooh it like it was a dumb, baby idea and come up with something else anyway. And it was too hot and sticky to bother bothering.

  “You are totally boring, Sarah. You are boring like a tree stump.”

  “You’re boring.” I obviously wasn’t boring. I’d been out to a grown-up dance and she hadn’t.

  Jezzie snatched the comic book.

  “Give that back! Joshua will be so mad if anything happens to it.”

  “What’s it worth?” she asked. “Maybe … I could trade you for the newspaper?”

  Suddenly a great noise like crying came from the house. Mama came running outside and headed toward the backyard.

  She hadn’t even noticed me lying on the lawn.

  “Mama?” I got up to run after her, but Jezzie stayed put. It was as if she couldn’t even hear Mama at all. That was normal for Jezzie, to not care about someone else being upset.

  “Mama!”

  I found her sobbing, Vicky holding her.

  “What is it?” I asked. “What’s the matter?”

  Mama wiped her nose on her handkerchief. “You’ll know soon enough. Go back to Jezzie.”

  I stood paralyzed. Vicky caught my eye and nodded at me to leave.

  When I got back around to the front yard, Jezzie, the comic book, and the newspaper were gone.

  The pen slipped in my sweaty palm and I dropped it. The sinking feeling went all the way through my stomach to my feet.

  I was starting to get a very bad feeling about those dreams. I couldn’t be sure yet, but …

  Maybe I could get right back there. I tried to calm my pounding heart, take deep breaths, and find Sarah again. I lifted the pen and tried to steady my hand enough to write again.

  “Siena! Come down to lunch! Now!”

  Oh, gosh! How long had Mom been calling? It seemed like I was gone longer and longer every time I got lost in Sarah’s story.

  I scrambled to my feet, knocking over a half-empty glass I’d left on the floor and catching it before it spilled.

  “Coming!” I yelled.

  I ran downstairs, but I was unable to get rid of that shaky feeling that something terrible was about to happen.

  “You’ll watch him for me? Siena?”

  I jumped and looked up at Mom. I’d been staring at Lucca eating his hot dog, meat first and tearing the bun into shreds. I’d started this whole visiting-the-past thing with him in mind, to make sure he was comfortable here, and, while I was learning more and more, it wasn’t making anyone feel any better.

  My own hot dog was sitting on my plate.

  “Siena? You okay?”

  “I’m sorry, what, Mom?”

  “You’ll watch Lucca so I can work?”

  “Yeah, of course.”

  I’d take him to the beach. It would be good to get out in the sun for a little while.

  At bedtime, I couldn’t shake the creepy feeling from earlier. It hung heaviest in my room. I wanted to know what happened next to Sarah and her family, but I was so tired. Instead of sitting with the pen and learning more, I shut the notebook in one of my dresser drawers. It didn’t really help.

  I tossed and turned. It seemed extra dark. I was thinking in circles, about what I’d been seeing in the dreams and what I’d been seeing through Sarah’s eyes. I didn’t exactly know what to do. I hadn’t been scared at night for a long time.

  Mom would probably have a heart attack if I went in her room raving about ghosts. She was the last person I could tell about my weird visions. I didn’t need to add another worry to the list.

  I tiptoed down the hall and pushed open the door to Lucca’s room. He seemed to be sound asleep, so I lay down on the floor next to his bed on his neighborhood-map rug. It was brighter here, thanks to his Thomas the Tank Engine night-light.

  There was tapping on my head.

  “Hi, buddy. I’m just going to rest in here for a while.”

  Lucca drew his hand back up and settled down again.

  I tried to settle down myself by listening to his calm, soft breathing.

  10

  We finally find our way to the base camp, the little girl still slung, asleep, over my shoulder.

  You should drop her off with the refugees.

  She’s sick, I insist. I carry her to the medics’ tent. I sit down inside and shift her in my arms. She’s limp, but cooler now, and she stirs.

  A medic comes over and checks her pulse. Have you managed to feed her anything?

  She won’t eat. She’s had nothing but water.

  He lifts her eyelids, shines a light in her nose and mouth.

  I’m afraid I don’t have a bed for her. Just—just hold her for now. I’ll see what I can do for medicine. She is so very small.

  I woke up feeling dizzy. In the dim morning light, I came to realize that my face was pressed into a small green lawn next to a little house. Oh, right. Lucca’s rug.

  I rolled onto my side to see my brother’s foot hanging off his bed. I gave it a tug; he giggled and pulled it under his sheet.

  I sat up. “Ow, my neck hurts.”

  “Good morning, Lucca.” Mom came into the room. “And … Siena? What are you doing in here?”

  “Having a sleepover.”

  She gave me a look that suggested I must have ten heads, shook her own, and told Lucca to get up and go use the bathroom.

  Lucca came back in a minute and got right to playing. I climbed onto his bed and watched him push his toy cars around the neighborhood map. Sometimes he made a soft “Vroooom, vroooom.” Maybe Lucca had a problem like I did. Maybe he never said anything because he was half here and half in some other time, all the time.

  “Lucca, about the ghosts … can … can you see them?”

  He shook his head.

  “Hear them?”

  He shook his head again.

  That was a relief.

  “How do you know they’re here, then?”

  Lucca seemed to think for a minute. He raised his hand in the air and spun it, and pressed it on his head, his chest. Then he stroked my arm.

  “The ghosts touch you?”

  Lucca shook his head and pressed on his chest, my chest. He made a face like he was happy, then like he might cry.

  “Oh.” I understood. “Feelings like that. You feel them. That’s it? Nothing else?”

  He nodded and seemed to relax onto the bed. Then he looked me right in the eyes.

  “Well, that’s it,” I said uncomfortably. “You can get back to playing.”

  He continued to look at me and made the overhead gesture for ghosts again. Then he pointed to my eyes, my ears, my chest. Asking me if I saw, heard, felt.

  “Okay.” I lowered my voice, and he lowered his hands. “I can see them. And hear them. Okay?” Then I added, “Don’t tell Mom.”

  Then I started laughing. Like he would tell Mom. Like he could.

  Lucca didn’t think it was funny. He kicked me hard in the shin and ran out of the room.

  Suddenly it didn’t seem funny to me either.

  Lucca had a pretty good kick. After the ten minutes it took to use the bathroom and get dressed, my shin still hurt, and it was turning purple. I hobbled downstairs and got an ice pack from the freezer.

  “What’s going on?” Mom asked. “Lucca just tore through here a minute ago, then ran out and threw himself on the couch. He’s pouting. Have you been fighting?”

  “No. That would be way too normal.” I took my ice pack and went back upstairs as quickly as I could with a throbbing shin.

  I headed to my window seat and sat there with my leg stretched out and the ice pack on my shin.

  It would be nice to have a normal brother-and-sister relationship.

  I’d tri
ed to shut out the dreams overnight and it hadn’t worked. But I did need to know what happened to Sarah.

  I reached for my pen and got out the notebook. I took deep breaths and imagined being Sarah.

  But as I set the pen to the paper, I heard Mom calling. “Siena, you have company!”

  Company?

  Curiosity made me hurry downstairs.

  Sam stood at the front door.

  “Hey, Siena.”

  “Uh, hey, Sam.” Thank goodness I’d gotten dressed. I’d been sleeping in my underwear and an embarrassing camp T-shirt from when I was eight. It was bad enough I was holding a Cookie Monster ice pack and had a purple shin. “What are you doing here?”

  “Well, you described the place so nicely, I had to see for myself.”

  How had I described the place? Oh, yeah. I’d called it a dump.

  My mother, in a burst of excitement over the prospect of me having a friend already, showed up with a pitcher of lemonade and plastic cups. “Why don’t you guys sit outside?”

  “Ooooookay,” I said. “Let’s go outside.”

  We sat down on the porch steps and I poured our drinks.

  “It’s nice of your mom to make us lemonade,” Sam said.

  “Don’t be too flattered. It’s from a mix.”

  “Still. Makes a guy feel welcome.” He watched me place the ice pack back on my leg. “Ouch. What happened?”

  “Nothing, really.”

  We sat in silence for a minute. I was careful to sip my lemonade and not gulp it.

  “So, now you’ve seen the place,” I said.

  “Yep. Nice place. Not a dump. Probably needs a new roof.”

  “Yeah, I wouldn’t mention that to my parents.”

  “I’m sure they know already. This is a relaxing life,” Sam announced, stretching out on the porch.