Jonah leans forward, placing his lips on my forehead. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had Rip. You and Alex have made me a better person.”
My eyes fill with tears, but I lean back and fan them away. “Same. Now let’s go get you married.” I leave him at the back stairs that lead to the front of the church then make my way to the vestibule where I find Alex with Jonah’s parents and my mom.
“Okay everyone, let’s start lining up,” the wedding planner says. Jonah’s dad leads my mom and Jonah’s mom inside.
When it’s our turn, I grab Alex’s hand in mine and we walk down the aisle. Alex is the unofficial best man, so he stands with me next to Jonah. “Wedding March” begins and everyone stands. As soon as Jessica appears at the end, I hear Jonah’s swift intake of breath, and I can’t blame him. She’s a beautiful bride, and when she finally reaches Jonah, they get married.
I stick the key in the lock of my front door as I try to juggle a sleeping Alex in my arms. The reception was a blast and my sweet boy danced his little booty off until he finally passed out on my mom’s lap. As Jonah and Jessica went through all reception stuff—cake cutting, dances, my speech, the maid of honor’s speech—I couldn’t help but feel a little bit of envy and maybe a little sadness because I want the kind of love they have.
Yes, I love Brock and he loves me, but I don’t know if I can trust it. I tried to push those thoughts out of my mind and enjoy my evening, and most of the night I danced with Alex, though I did dance with Jonah’s dad once, and once with his favorite uncle. It wasn’t until toward the end of the night that I danced with Jonah. Neither of us had to say anything to each other because the bond we have is so strong.
I carry Alex upstairs and strip him out of his tux, leaving him just in his underwear. I’m exhausted after the long day so I take off my dress and slip on my robe. In the bathroom, I take the pins out of my hair, brush it out, and wash the makeup off. Back in my bedroom, I climb into my bed and pull out my phone.
Ripley: Are you up?
Brock: I am. How was the wedding?
Ripley: It was great…perfect. It truly was. I miss you. I shouldn’t tell him that, should make him wonder, but I don’t want to play games. We’ve been dealt enough shit and I’m not going to add to it, because it’s not going to do us any favors.
Brock: I miss you too. Fuck I miss you. How’s Alex?
Ripley: He’s good. He’s passed out. You would’ve been so proud of him today. He did such a good job. I’ll send you a picture of him in his tux.
I send Brock the picture of Alex and me at the reception.
Brock: Wow! You both look great. In two days I sign my papers and I’m out. I’ve already started packing and should be heading back a week from Friday.
That’s almost two weeks. We still have yet to talk about things, but he’s insistent that we do it in person. I’d rather do it over the phone, at least some of it.
When it comes to Brock, I’m so confused. On one hand, I shouldn’t give him the time of day after everything that’s happened, but—and it’s a big but—on the other hand, I know I’d regret it if I didn’t see where things went, didn’t see if we could get past everything and have a future together.
Alex and I are a package deal, and I need to know that he can handle being around my boy knowing that his father is also Alex’s.
Ripley: That seems so far away. ☹ Alex misses Tiny, just so you know.
Brock: I think Tiny misses Alex just as much. I’ve never seen him pout so much.
I cover my mouth as I yawn. We say goodnight and I put my phone down, and it doesn’t take long before my eyes drift shut.
BROCK
Since I’ve been home in North Carolina, I’ve been busy, pretty much running myself into exhaustion every day, which keeps me from obsessing about Ripley and Alex. I’ve started packing up my house and selling the furniture I don’t plan on taking with me. My mom is letting me stay with her until I find a place, and maybe I’ll be lucky enough to share that place with Ripley and Alex. In a perfect world, I’ll share it with any other children we might have as well.
My boss was a little disappointed that I was signing my EAS papers, but we had a long talk about everything—my mom, my dad, Ripley, and Alex. I don’t think I’ve ever talked about my feelings so much, but I do admit, the more I talk, the better I feel. When I think about it, the rage is gone—well, maybe not gone, but it’s not as strong. He understood my need to be home, closer to my family and the people I love. No matter what happens with Ripley and me, there is no doubt that I want to be home in Aldridge. I’ve already applied for a couple different jobs, and with a letter of recommendation from Sergeant Richards, I should hopefully have no problem getting an interview.
Friday night, Tiffany’s coming over to talk. I’ve kept our communication limited to phone calls and texts since I’ve been back; it’s not that I don’t want to see her, it’s just that I need to figure out how to approach our talk so I don’t hurt her or lead her on. I’d love to remain friends, but I think once I move home, it’ll pretty much be over.
I look at my phone and again pull up the picture Ripley sent me from the wedding. I hate that I wasn’t there to be their date, but I’m glad they had a good time. She looks fucking gorgeous in that dress, and Alex looks like a little man in his tux.
With a couple taps on my phone, I make their picture my wallpaper so I can see them whenever I want. I wasn’t lying when I told Ripley that Tiny missed Alex—the dog has been moping around like a sad sack, and if I say Alex’s name, Tiny perks up until he realizes his little buddy isn’t there.
I set the alarm on my phone and set it on my nightstand. These two weeks are going to go by so slow for me, but I just need to remember that when all is said and done, we’ll at least be in the same town.
My team decided they wanted to take me out for drinks last night—of course, I just had a beer and that’s it. Most of them know I’m not a big drinker and why. After all the training we went through together, it’s natural that we know each other’s dark secrets and what drives us to do the things we do. They didn’t give me shit for switching to pop, and I ended up giving a few of them a ride home.
It’s true that when you work closely with a team, you become brothers. Miguel Rodriguez got shot when I did, on what was supposed to be a simple scouting mission but ended up being based on bad intel. He took one to the chest, and it was while I was dragging him to safety that I took the two shots to my shoulder and leg. Luckily, reinforcements showed up and got us the rest of the way to shelter.
We don’t talk about it a lot, but we can share a look and know that the other is thinking about it. It’s sad that I’ve had an easier time getting over getting shot than dealing with the demons from my childhood and teen years.
I drove Miguel home last and ended up sitting and talking to him and his wife, Rosa, until the wee hours of the morning. Rosa drilled me about Ripley and Alex, and what I was going to do. She insisted that I needed to make a grand gesture and prove I was in it for the long haul. She was right; that is what I need to do. They invited me to come over for a goodbye dinner before I left, and I happily accepted.
Now I’m waiting for Tiffany to get here, and this is the last thing on my to-do list before I head home. I do a walk through and my place looks so bare without most of my furniture and everything else in boxes. I brew a pot of coffee while I wait for her and take Tiny outside, tossing his rope toy around the back yard. Hopefully Tiny will behave while she’s over.
When it’s time for her to arrive, I head back inside and pour myself a cup of joe just as the doorbell rings. I take a deep breath and move through my house to the front door with Tiny following behind me, growling. “Dude shut it. Go lay down.” The temperamental pain in the ass plops down on his bed with a sigh.
I open the door to Tiffany and she flashes me a huge smile. “Hi honey.” She wraps her arms around me in a tight hug that lasts a little too long for my taste. “I’ve missed you.”
She sighs. Carefully, I step back, and she looks confused by that.
“It’s good seeing you. Do you want some coffee?” She follows me into the kitchen, but I don’t miss that she’s glancing around with wide eyes.
“Yeah, sure. Where’s all your stuff?”
I pour her a cup of coffee and hand it to her. “Well, that’s what I wanted you to come over for. I wanted to tell you that I’m moving back to Illinois.”
A low growl pulls my attention to Tiny, and I give him a look that makes him stop and lay his head back down. I look back at Tiffany and see she’s got tears running down her face.
“Why are you leaving me? What did I do wrong?”
“Tiffany, you didn’t do anything, it’s just time for me to go home and see to things there.” I’m not sure what to do here. If I hug her, I could be giving her the wrong signal, but if I don’t, I’m a jerk.
“You mean back to Ripley and her kid.” She swipes angrily at her tears. “What is so special about them that you’re willing to lose what we have?”
“She’s my world, and Alex has…” I swallow the lump in my throat. “He has begun to mean just as much. I’m sorry if this hurts you and you can’t understand it, but it’s the way it is. I never meant to hurt you…”
Her face falls. “Is he your son? Is that why?”
“No he’s not my son, but he’s my…” Fuck, I almost let that slip and screwed everything up. Thank goodness I couldn’t stand seeing the hurt look on her face, realized what I was doing, and stopped before saying too much. She’s looking at me with assessing eyes now, but it’s not her business to know. Tears leak from her eyes and I know I’ve hurt her feelings, but it couldn’t be helped.
“I’m sorry if it hurts you that I’m leaving, but I have to. My life is in Aldridge now.” I grab her hands. “It was never my intention to hurt you, but do you get it? Do you get why I have to go?”
She lets out a puff of air. “I get it, but I don’t like it.”
We sit and talk about easy stuff after that while we drink our coffee. The pleasantness in her voice is completely forced, but at least she stops giving me an uneasy feeling. I’m relieved when she gets ready to go. “I still would like to check in with you occasionally if I can?”
“Yeah, that’d be okay. You take care of yourself.”
“You too, and good luck when you get home.” She hugs me and then kisses my cheek, rather slowly; it makes me a little uncomfortable. She finally pulls away from me and I watch her walk to her car and then climb in. Right before she peels out of the driveway, I swear she gives me a nasty look, but I can’t be sure from here.
That’s all right—I won’t be here much longer.
23
BROCK
I pull my phone out of the cup holder and dial Ripley’s number; she answers on the second ring. “Hey. Where are you?” I hate that her voice is indifferent to me, but I deserve it. I accept it, but I’m going to work my ass off to change it and make things right with her.
“I’m almost through Indiana so I should be there in three and a half hours. Tiny’s getting impatient and I’m getting tired.” I’ve been on the road for eight hours and all I want to do is crash.
“Are you heading to your mom’s or your grandparents’ house?”
“I’m heading to my grandparents’ place. My mom doesn’t have a yard for Tiny and he’ll need space to run around for a while. Also, I’m pretty sure my granddad missed Tiny more than me.” I smile at the sound of her laugh; it feels me with a warmth I can only get from her.
“I don’t think that’s true, but I know Alex misses that dog something fierce. Oh, Jonah and Jessica got back from their honeymoon yesterday. They’re both tan and relaxed, and I swear Jessica’s absolutely glowing.” Her sigh comes through the phone. “You should see all the stuff they brought home for Alex. It was a little excessive, but trying to tell them not to is like talking to myself, so I don’t even try anymore. I just can’t wait for Alex to see it all.”
“I’m putting you on speaker.” I slip my phone into a little holder so I can talk to her. “I’m glad they had a good time.” After taking a deep breath, I blurt out, “I’ve missed you.” Silence greets me on the other end. Was that too much? Well, it’s too late now. I already put it out there. “Rip?”
“Yeah I’m here.” Her voice is soft, and I hear Alex’s little voice in the background.
“Can I say hi to Alex?”
“Sure hold on, just one second.” Her muffled voice is all I can hear in the background.
“Hi Brock! Where’s Tiny? I miss him so much! Are you coming ober? Please come ober today!” he screeches excitedly.
“Hey buddy! It’ll be too late to come over tonight, but how about this: if it’s okay with your mom, Tiny and I will come over tomorrow.”
“Mommy can Brock and Tiny come ober tomorrow?” he shouts loudly into the phone. I hear Ripley’s voice in the background. “She said yes!”
His enthusiasm is contagious, and I smile as I listen to his excited chatter. Finally, Ripley gets back on the phone. “As you can tell he’s super excited to see Tiny…no offense.”
“None taken. Their bond is sweet. Is that okay though, you know, that we come over tomorrow?”
“That’s fine, just let me know what time. We need to go grocery shopping, but we’ll do that in the morning.”
I’m glad she is agreeable to letting me and Tiny come over tomorrow. “Okay, I’ll text you in the morning. I’m going to let you go because traffic’s getting heavy so I need to concentrate. Bye Ripley.”
“Be safe,” she says before disconnecting our call.
“Tiny?” I hear a woof from the back seat. “I think I’m going to have my work cut out for me. They’re worth it though.” I murmur the last part to myself.
I wake to the smell of coffee and bacon. After throwing on a t-shirt, my first stop is the bathroom to take a leak, wash my hands, and brush my teeth. In the kitchen, I find my granddad making breakfast and Tiny sitting next to him, begging for bacon.
“Good morning.” I give Tiny a big head rub before slapping my granddad on the back.
He pulls a coffee mug down and brings it to me after filling it with some hot brew. “Morning son, how’d you sleep?”
“Great. How has Tiny been? Poor dog does such a good job traveling, but it can’t be super comfortable for him.” As soon as we got back last night, he went right to my grandma and collapsed at her feet.
“He’s been a good boy. We played fetch a little bit and then tug of war, and then we went for a walk. Now he wants bacon.” My granddad grabs a piece of bacon and passes it to my dog. Yes, my dog is spoiled, and he’s not ashamed to beg for food.
“I appreciate you seeing to him and letting me sleep.” Tiny and I got back at ten-thirty last night and I was exhausted. My grandma shooed me to bed and said they’d get Tiny sorted. Sure enough, as soon as I collapsed on my bed, I passed right out.
“Of course. You were dead on your feet. Are you going to relax today?”
I shake my head. “No, Tiny and I are going to go visit Ripley and Alex.”
“That’s great. I’m sure there’s lots to talk about. Son, I want nothing more than for you to find happiness. In my gut I know it’s with Ripley and Alex.”
“I know it too. I just have to prove to her that I’m not going to leave her again.”
Once breakfast is done, we sit together and eat in a companionable silence. After I finish eating, I clean up the kitchen then jump in the shower. I shave and brush my teeth before heading back into my room to get dressed. Since I’m heading to Ripley’s with the dog, I just throw on a muscle shirt and some basketball shorts. After I throw a ball cap on my head, I shoot a quick text to Ripley to see if she’s home. A minute later, she says they just got back and to come on over.
After I get Tiny loaded up, we head over toward Ripley’s. It’s like he can tell where we’re going and begins whining from the back seat. “Shut it, boy. We’re going to be
there soon.” I look at him in the rearview mirror. “You’ve got to help me win them over. They belong to us and we belong to them, and Ripley needs to see that.”
A bark is his reply as we reach her street. As soon as I stop my truck, I see Alex come tearing out of the house screaming for Tiny and Tiny trying to break out my window. “Jesus fuck dog. Calm down, let me open the door.”
I don’t even bother leashing him because he goes right to Alex. Stepping into the yard, I notice Ripley standing at the bottom of the steps. She’s gorgeous. Her hair is braided again and she’s wearing another Cubs shirt with cutoff sweats that show off her tan, toned legs.
On autopilot, my feet carry me until I’m standing right in front of her. “Hi.”
“Hi,” she softly says. I pull her into a hug and at first, she holds her body stiff, but then I feel her arms wrap around me. It’s still a little stiff and awkward, but I keep holding her until I finally feel her relax into me, resting her cheek against my chest while we watch Alex and Tiny run around in circles. “I’m glad you got home safely.”
“Thanks. I think someone else is happy too.” Alex is now lying on his back while Tiny licks the side of his face.
After the boys get up I follow behind them as we step inside and Alex runs up the stairs with Tiny following behind him.
“Alex, no running!”
“Okay Mommy!”
I sit on the couch and watch Ripley fidget around, almost like she can’t figure out what to do with herself. That ever-present ache in my stomach starts to build because I hate seeing her uncomfortable and knowing it’s because of me. “Rip, come sit with me. Let’s talk a little bit.” She looks at me with wide eyes. “No, not about that, not about Alex, okay?” With reluctant steps, she comes toward me and sits down.
Then There Was You: A Single Parent Collection Page 53