I rub my sweaty palms down the legs of my shorts. Fuck, this is crazy. Why am I so nervous? Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly and grab her hand, lacing our fingers together.
“I know I have no right to expect anything from you, but I will never be able to apologize enough for hurting you when I left. You’ve been the one true good thing in my life and when I hit you, all I saw was my dad hitting my mom, hitting me. I know I’ve got some issues, but I’m trying to get past them. First things first, I wanted to tell you about the day I was shot.”
Her hand squeezes mine. “Sure, of course.”
“Well, I’ve told you I was a scout sniper in the Marines. My team was doing some reconnaissance and surveillance after we got some intel about a possible terrorist cell. We were only supposed to get close enough to gather information, and it didn’t take long to realize we’d been given false info and it was a trap. My partner took one to the chest, and it was while I was dragging him away that I took one to the shoulder and one to my leg.
“We got to safety as the rest of our team moved in and got control of the situation. Luckily, both bullets went in and out, so I wasn’t out of commission long.” I turn and see she’s looking at me, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “Hey, no tears. You can see that I’m okay.”
“I know, I just don’t like the thought of you being so far away from me and being hurt.” I reach out, wiping away the lone tear that’s sliding down her cheek. Her chin’s wobbling and I grab her hand, pulling her toward me so I can wrap my arms around her. She buries her face in my t-shirt. Stroking Ripley’s back, I feel her shudder and hug her tightly to my chest. A few moments later, she finally calms down and pulls away from me.
“No more tears. Please, they’re breaking my heart.” I press my lips against her forehead and hear that beautiful sigh slip past her lips. “I promise I’m okay, and I’m out now.”
Ripley scrubs her hands over her face and blows out a breath. “I’m good. Sorry.” She looks toward the stairs and back at me. “They’re being really quiet.”
In a flash we both fly up the stairs to Alex’s door, where we can hear Alex’s excited chatter. “A is for apple. B is for ball. What’s this letter? That’s the letter C for cat.” Tiny gives a snort that we hear through the door and Ripley smiles at me widely. “Tiny, you’re gonna lib with me. You can sleep right here.”
I grab her hand and pull her to me. Without thinking, I back her into the wall, and then my lips are on hers. She holds herself rigid at first, until suddenly her mouth opens and her tongue is connecting with mine. My dick is hard as fuck right now, but I can’t do anything because her son is in the other room. Plus, we should really be taking our time. There’s so much we still need to talk about, and we shouldn’t be getting intimate until we do. I don’t want what I want us to build to be built solely on the physical.
What we used to have was so much deeper than that. Even when we were driven by hormones, our relationship was still so much more. I reluctantly pull my lips away, but our bodies are still touching. “You make it very hard for me to behave myself.”
Her lips twitch and I can tell she’s trying hard not to smile. “Same,” she whispers. Ripley presses her forehead into my chest.
“Are you sniffing me?”
She pulls her head back to look at me. “Maybe. Are you hungry?”
“I could eat.”
After Ripley checks on Alex—who is “starbing”—she leads me downstairs where we stand side by side to make grilled cheese sandwiches and a fruit salad.
A few minutes later, Alex comes barreling into the kitchen, followed by Tiny. We sit at the table and listen as Alex tells the sweetest little stories. I just can’t take my eyes off of him—that sweet little boy is my brother. I can’t think about it though, because all I can think about is what happened to Ripley.
We finish lunch and I take Alex and Tiny outside while Ripley vacuums and picks up the living room. I offered to help, but she said keeping an eye on Alex would help her more. Tiny and Alex play fetch as I sit down on the back steps. I hear a door open, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Ripley’s neighbor.
“Hey,” he hollers.
I look in his direction and give him a chin lift. “How’s it going?”
“Good. Where’s Ripley?” This guy is something else.
“She’s inside. Why do you ask?” I stand up.
Tim, Tom—whatever his name is—just shrugs his shoulder. “No reason. Just saw Alex out here and thought maybe he was alone. You were gone for a bit.”
“Yep, had to take care of some stuff back in North Carolina, but I’m back for good now.”
“Well, I kept an eye on them for you.” Did this guy really just say that to me? Like what…I should be grateful? The fuck I am. If I had it my way, I’d move them right out of this place.
“Thanks.”
I turn to where Alex and Tiny are sitting. “Alex, it’s time to head inside.” Turning back to Ripley’s neighbor, I make my point very clear. “I appreciate you looking after them, but I’m back, so I’ll take over.” He holds my stare until turning away and walking into his house.
Following Alex and Tiny, I step into the kitchen and find Ripley leaning against the counter with her arms crossed over her chest. She looks at Alex and says, “Why don’t you and Tiny go watch one of your shows. We’ll be right in.” She turns back to me. “Seriously?”
“What? I don’t like that guy.”
Ripley moves until she’s standing in front of me. “Brock, I promise you he’s completely harmless. Yes, he stares at my boobs, but he’s never tried anything. If I’m not worried, you shouldn’t be either.”
A squeak slips past her lips as I pull her to me. My fingers spear her hair and I tip her head back; I want to kiss her again, so bad, but I shouldn’t. With a sigh, I let her go and step back. Hurt crosses her features, but she quickly hides it.
“Rip, I want nothing more than to kiss you and kiss you again, but I’ve hurt you over and over again. I need to prove to you that you can trust your feelings with me and trust me with your son’s too.” I can’t help it—I have to touch her, so I reach out and cup the back of her neck with my hand and pull her back to me. “Please let me do that.”
“You’re right. I need you to prove you’re not going to leave us again.” Her hands rest against my chest. “Please don’t hurt me again.” Ripley’s voice takes on a pleading tone.
“I wish I could make that promise, but you know I can’t, just like I know you can’t. I promise that if I do hurt you, I will do everything in my power to fix it.” I lean forward until my face is right in front of hers. “Baby, I’m going to screw up and so are you, but I swear to you, no more running.”
Ripley’s eyes close and I hug her to me, my hand stroking over her braided hair.
We finally break apart and head into the living room, where Rip walks quietly to the coffee table and grabs her phone, aiming it at Alex, who is curled up on the floor with his head resting against Tiny’s side. Both of them are fast asleep. I grab my phone and snap a couple of pictures too.
“Do you want to see some pictures of Alex as a baby?” Ripley’s voice pulls me from staring at Alex and Tiny.
“Yeah, that’d be great.” She tells me to go sit in the kitchen and that she’ll be right back. A few minutes later, she returns with a thick photo album.
“I’ve got a lot, so just tell me if you’ve had enough.” Her voice carries a hint of laughter when she says it.
We start at the beginning with Ripley in a hospital bed with a huge belly, and fuck me, she looks beautiful. The next one is of her with a gooey-looking baby on her chest and Jonah at her side with tears rolling down his cheeks, smiling widely. In the next picture, Ripley’s in a pink nightgown in a rocking chair with Alex in her arms. My chest aches as I flip through more pictures and listen to her stories behind them.
There are a lot of pictures of Alex and Ripley’s dad, and sadness washes over me that he won’t
have his grandpa around to teach him and guide him like he guided me. It’s obvious that Alex is a very well-loved boy.
“I know it’s crazy how many pictures I have, but Mom is crazy about taking pictures and making memories. She doesn’t trust just saving them digitally.” She’s quiet for a minute and then looks at me. “I was glad that Alex looks like me. After I had him, I was afraid he’d look like…well you know, and what if your mom saw him, or your dad, and they saw it. I just didn’t want to answer questions that would be uncomfortable.”
My hand covers hers. “I can understand that.”
Alex wakes up a little while later and I ask to take Ripley and him out to dinner later. I tell her to dress up and then leave so I can take Tiny back to my grandparents’ and get ready. At her front door, Ripley grabs me by the front of my shirt.
“I’ll see you in a bit.” I kiss her cheek and holler goodbye to Alex.
24
RIPLEY
As soon as Brock leaves, I bolt upstairs to try to find outfits for both of us to wear. I’m not sure where he is going to take us, but I can’t go wrong with a sundress and wedges. I decided on a cornflower blue halter-top dress that is formfitting and hugs my body well, along with tan wedges to finish off the look.
Alex gets a quick shower and throws on a green polo shirt and a pair of khakis. I took a shower this morning before he got up so I just need to wash my face, put makeup on, and do my hair. I keep my makeup light and wear my hair in a low ponytail. I slip on the diamond stud earrings my parents got me for my birthday when I turned twenty-one along with the bracelet Brock bought me for our anniversary when we were seventeen.
I can’t help but wonder if he’ll notice. After slipping my shoes on, I head downstairs and smile at Alex, who is looking at the photo album. I’m glad to see he still looks clean. I don’t know how, but he can get covered in any sort of substance if he’s within five feet of it. Sticking a package of wipes in my purse, I grab Alex’s “dress” shoes out of the closet. They’re slip-ons so he can put them on by himself.
I’m just swiping my lip gloss on when there’s a knock on the door. Alex runs to the door but I stop him from opening it. “Buddy, you can’t open the door like that. Mommy needs to look outside and make sure its Brock.” It is. “Hey you.”
I push the screen door open and smile because he’s dressed similar to Alex. He’s wearing a deep blue short-sleeve button-down shirt tucked into a pair of khaki pants. His beard is gone, and I swear my panties are wet now. I tell him he looks amazing, and he kisses my lips when he steps inside.
“Well you look beautiful,” he says. “Alex, you look handsome.”
I smile when Alex’s little face lights up and he runs to Brock, who picks him up.
“What’s up bud?”
“Where are we going? Mommy says we’re gonna go eat.”
“Yep, we’re going to go eat at Marsala. Do you love macaroni and cheese?”
Alex’s face lights up because Marsala is actually one of his favorite restaurants. “I lub it!” Alex’s arms wrap around Brock’s neck and he squeezes him tight.
With my son in his arms, Brock turns to me. “Do you want to grab his booster seat? I’ll take him out to the truck.”
They walk outside and after I lock up the house, I grab Alex’s booster seat and get it set up in the back seat of the truck. Everyone gets buckled in and we make our way downtown to the restaurant. I love that although it’s fancy, it’s still kid friendly.
We reach the restaurant and Brock helps Alex down then they come around to me. The little traitor is on Brock’s other side, holding his hand. Inside, the hostess leads us to a table by the window, and Alex chooses to sit by Brock so I sit across from them.
After ordering drinks and our meals, Brock and I talk while Alex colors. At one point, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I look out the window, but don’t see anything.
“What is it?” Brock grabs my hand.
“I don’t know, I just got a weird feeling. It’s probably nothing.” I glance around one more time and realize that yeah, I’m just being silly.
After dinner, we walk down the street to get some ice cream. Alex rides on Brock’s back, smiling like a goof, and it feels so natural, the three of us together like this. I want more than anything to trust it, embrace it, but I don’t, I can’t…not yet. We step up to the window and order our frozen treats. While we wait, I feel Brock’s body lock up next to me. “What?”
“I don’t know. I just had a feeling, that’s all.” I notice he’s a lot more watchful now, keeping Alex in between us at all times. I’ve never seen him like this before and it’s kind of a turn-on, but it’s also freaking me out a bit.
“How happy is your mom now that you’re back?” I spoon some of my strawberry sundae into my mouth.
“She’s over the moon. She wanted me to stay with her until I find a job and a place to live, but she’s got no yard so I can’t have Tiny there.”
“That’s understandable. He’s huge so he needs space. Do you have a line on any jobs?”
“I’ve got a couple interviews lined up, and I think I’m going to take some classes, maybe start working toward a job as a police officer.”
“That’s really great. You should totally do that.” I take a couple more bites.
“Why didn’t you try going back to school?”
I don’t answer right away because I don’t want him to feel bad or blame himself. “I guess part of the reason was because of Alex, obviously. Then, I don’t know, I just haven’t had the time, and he’s still little so I don’t want to miss out on anything. Does that make me seem like a loser?”
“No, not at all. I don’t blame you for wanting to be around for Alex, especially while he’s still this little.” He reaches out and tucks a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. I feel my cheeks heat up and duck my head so he doesn’t see it.
“Alex how’s your ice cream cone?”
“It’s good Mommy.” He goes back to licking his cone with not a care in the world.
My eyes drift to Brock, who keeps glancing around like he’s looking for something or someone. His phone rings and he digs it out of his pocket. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as he looks at the screen, hits a button, and tucks it back in his pocket.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah baby, it’s fine.” We leave a short time later.
Now home, Alex is in his jammies and Brock is upstairs reading him a bedtime story. Brock seemed so pleased when Alex asked him to read to him. They’ve been up there a while, so I creep up the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible, and silence greets me at the top. Tiptoeing to Alex’s room, I peek my head inside and freeze. Brock is reclining on Alex’s car bed and Alex’s head is resting on Brock’s chest. Brock’s arms hold Alex close, and they’re both fast asleep.
I cover my mouth to silence the cry that slips past my lips. Too many emotions rush through me, and I don’t know how to handle them. I back out and lean against the wall, staring blindly at the ceiling. I hate Brock’s dad with every fiber of my being, but I don’t regret Alex. God, does that make me sound fucked up? I normally just don’t even think about it, or if those thoughts creep in, I try to shove them right back out.
It melts my heart to look at them, but it also breaks it too—nope, not even going there right now. Instead I lock up the house then head back upstairs to get ready for bed. Before heading into my bedroom, I stop in Alex’s to grab his comforter and lay it over my boys.
I’m not sure how long I’ve been asleep when I feel my blankets being lifted and Brock sliding in behind me, wrapping me in a tight embrace. His lips touch the back of my neck and then I immediately fall back asleep.
I pull into the parking lot of Happy Joe’s pizza to meet Jonah for lunch. We haven’t seen much of each other lately since he’s been catching up on work he missed while they were on their honeymoon.
The past couple of days have been great. After the night Brock to
ok us out to dinner, he got up the next morning before Alex was up, not wanting to be caught in my bed until we sat him down and talked to him. I was glad he did that, because a part of me was still fearful that he was going to leave again.
He kissed me slowly and thoroughly before leaving. I told him that he if he wanted to, he could go get Tiny and come back and then I’d make my famous biscuits and gravy. Of course, the biscuits came from a tube, but sure enough, Tiny and Brock came walking back in an hour later.
Together, the three of us sat together eating breakfast with Alex being his silly self and making us laugh. We finished eating and Alex disappeared upstairs with Tiny.
“Who fixed the wall?” Brock asked quietly.
“Jonah did it the next day.”
“I’m so fucking sorry. I know we haven’t talked about all of that yet, it’s just after the stuff you said in your sleep and then Jonah texting you asking how it went—and yeah I know it was wrong to look at your phone—he came over and I knew the answer. I knew it, and I lost it. I wanted to go to my father, wanted to wrap my hands around his throat and choke the life right out of him, but Jonah was right—going to my dad and confronting him would only open up doors I didn’t want to open for you.
“There was no way in hell I was going to let that man know about Alex’s existence or at least his parentage. I haven’t known Alex for very long yet, but I love him and I give you my word that no matter what happens with us, I will always watch out for him and protect him.”
Those words made my nose burn, and my eyes filled with tears I wouldn’t let fall. Instead, I looked down at the table. I started when Brock’s hand wrapped around the back of my neck.
“I meant what I said Ripley. I love you and Alex. You’re a package deal, and even knowing what I do, that doesn’t change anything. I know I’ve got a history of running, but I’m promising you it will not happen again. I’m going to prove to you that I’m strong, that I can be the man you and Alex deserve.” He kissed my lips and then pulled me into his lap where he hugged me tight, letting me go when Alex came running into the kitchen.
Then There Was You: A Single Parent Collection Page 54