Then There Was You: A Single Parent Collection

by Gianna Gabriela

  “Love you too,” I whisper.

  “Ewww! You kissed my daddy!” Lily giggles.

  “Shit,” I groan.

  “Daddy! That’s a bad word! Owe me a buck, now!” Lily marches over to the kitchen counter, grabbing the mason jar dubbed the “swear jar.”

  Shaking my head, I reach into my pocket and toss a dollar into it.

  “Way to go, Levi.” Em snickers, covering her mouth with a hand.

  “Like you don’t say bad words, baby. Oh please.”

  “I do not,” she retorts, taking a sip of wine.

  “Then why did you say ‘Oh fuck’ last night when I was sleeping?” Lily asks.

  Emmy sprays red wine across the table, coughing and spluttering.

  Throwing my head back, I laugh harder than I ever have, unable to contain myself.

  “Levi!” Emmy growls, wiping her face with a napkin, face the color of the liquid in her glass. I wipe at the tears streaming down my face, finding Em staring at me.

  “It’s all your fault,” she whispers, trying hard to cover her own smile.

  “You’re damn right it is,” I quip, winking at her.

  “Daddy!”

  “All right, all right.”

  Tossing a five-dollar bill in, I look at my daughter.

  “This should cover the rest of the night. Now, who wants ice cream?”

  In minutes, the embarrassing moment is forgotten and Lily enjoys her dessert. Emmy is going to move in with us, and Lily’s okay with it, excited even. Life couldn’t be better.

  “Daddy!”

  Lily’s high-pitched scream has me jolting out of a sound sleep and blindly racing toward her bedroom. Switching on the light, it takes a second for my eyes to adjust and when I do, my racing heart doesn’t calm.

  “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

  Holding her stuffed bunny, she frantically jumps from the bed and attaches herself to me, burying her tiny face in my neck. Keeping her tight against me, I sit on the edge of her bed and softly stroke her blonde hair, waiting until she calms. She’s four, so realistically I know it was probably just a simple nightmare, but that doesn’t stop the thudding of my pulse.

  “Lily, you need to talk to Daddy so I can help you, baby. What’s the matter?”

  She lifts her sweet face from my shoulder and hiccups loudly. Gently I brush her tears away and place a kiss to her forehead.

  “Monster.”

  “Oh, Lil. There are no monsters in here, I promise. Just your big ugly dad.”

  Giggles burst from her mouth, and I laugh as I try to make the scariest face at her I can, but instead I just make her laugh more. After a couple minutes of goofing around, I get her some water and then tuck her back into bed. Sitting next to her, I brush her hair from her forehead and place her bunny next to her again.

  “Daddy?”

  “Yeah, baby?”

  “Why don’t I have a mommy?”

  The blood drains from my face, and it takes everything in me to not lose it. She has never asked for Dana since I got full custody, and I have no idea where this is coming from. Maybe because she loves Emerson and knows she isn’t her mom.

  “Why do you ask, Lily?”

  “’Cause I want a mommy. I wanna play princess and Barbies.”

  “I play Barbies with you, baby girl.”

  “But you’re a boy. I need a girl to do it with me.”

  “Emmy is a girl,” I tell her, reaching out to hold her hand, but she pulls away.

  “She’s not my mommy.”

  “I’m sorry, Lily. But not every family has a mommy. Every family is different. Our family is me and you. Just us. And that’s pretty cool, huh?”

  “Was I bad?”

  Fuck. Jesus fuck.This isn’t happening.

  “Oh, Lily, no. Of course not, baby. Not at all. Listen, you have a mommy, okay? But she wasn’t ready to be your mommy. She was young and made mistakes, and we decided that what was best for you was for you to only have a daddy. You’re too young to understand but one day you will, okay? You aren’t bad, you’re the best little girl ever. I promise.”

  “I love you, Daddy.”

  “Oh, sweet girl, I love you more than every star in the sky. Now go back to sleep.”

  Dropping a kiss to her forehead, I fight the burning in my throat. All these years I thought I would be enough for my daughter, but now I’m not so sure. Did I do something wrong by allowing Dana to just leave her life? Should I have made her stay?

  Shutting her light off, I pull the door closed behind me and head across the hall to my bedroom. Completely forgetting that Emmy is still in my bed, I let myself go for a second as the tears I kept at bay fall down my cheeks. I’m swiping them away roughly when I cross into my room, stopping in my tracks.

  Emmy is sitting on the edge of my bed in one of my shirts, face wet with tears.

  “Oh, Levi,” she whispers. Biting my bottom lip, I rush over to her and pull her into my arms. One of her hands is tight against the back of my neck and I squeeze her to me. Her chest is shaking with her cries and I pull away.

  “What’s the matter, baby?”

  “How could somebody just walk away from that little girl? How could someone do that?”

  “I don’t know,” I choke out, angry at the emotions, but even angrier with Dana for putting me in this situation.

  “I heard what she said, Levi, but she’s just a baby. She needs you so much. You are her entire world.”

  “Am I? She’s right though. I can’t do all the girl things with her. I can’t pick out dresses, and I can’t teach her about makeup. I can’t do her hair. I’m failing my daughter, Emmy. I’m fucking failing her, all because I chose the wrong person to screw.”

  “Levi, look at me.”

  Emerson’s soft hands grip my jaw, and she forces me to look into her eyes. With a small smile, she places a gentle kiss to my cheek and pulls back.

  “You can show her how hard her daddy worked for her. How much he loved her. How he made sure that everything he did in his life was for her. Be her hero, Levi. Show her what an amazing and wonderful man you are. Teach her to love life, to laugh loudly.”

  “Emmy….”

  “You are everything your daughter needs. You are more than enough. Don’t you ever doubt yourself again. I’m so proud of you, Levi. So proud.”

  “God, Emmy. Where have you been all this time?”

  “Waiting for you to find me.”

  “I love you, baby.”

  “Love you too, handsome.”

  Pulling me back to bed, Emmy climbs in next to me, laying her head on my chest. Running my fingers through her soft hair, we fall back to sleep.

  14

  EMERSON

  “Hey, Mom,” I greet, stepping into the cafe. Meeting my mom on my lunch break was the best idea, and I’m so glad to see her. Work and life have just been so busy, and now with this investigation into the guy who tried to take Lily, we haven’t had even a moment to relax.

  “There’s my girl.” Standing from the corner table, my mom comes to wrap me in a tight hug. Breathing in her familiar scent, I sit across from her and a waiter comes over with a menu.

  “Can I just get a large coffee and one of your breakfast croissants?” Smiling, I hand him the menu as Mom orders her own food.

  Once the waiter leaves, Mom turns to me, her eyes bright. “So, how is life, Emmy? Anything new and exciting going on?”

  “Not really. Levi has been really on edge with them not having any leads.”

  “That’s awful. How is Lily doing?”

  “Better. No more nightmares since last week, thank God.”

  When I called my mom a couple weeks ago, she was frantic when I recounted the events to her. She came over to Levi’s one night for dinner with us when Dad had a late showing, and she made sure we knew we had their full support. Not shocking, since my parents are amazing. Levi’s parents are the same. We’re both so lucky.

  “I’m glad.”

  “Oh, and
I do have some news,” I tell her, grinning widely.

  “Spill.”

  “Levi asked me to move in.”

  I steel myself for her concern, but instead I’m met with a huge genuine smile, and she reaches across the table for my hands.

  “I’m happy for you, sweetheart. Levi is a good man.”

  “He really is. It’s funny, I was thinking the other day that ever since high school, I’ve been kind of a loner. Not a weirdo or anything, so don’t you laugh. But school has always been my priority, and work at the hospital. I love my girls there, but we all have busy lives and we’re lucky to have hung out once a month.”

  “What’s wrong with that, Em? Putting work and school first is important.”

  “No, I just mean that now my priorities are changing and I’m worried about it.”

  Our food arrives a moment later, and after thanking our waiter, we dig in.

  “Talk to me, honey. What’s wrong with things changing? Are you having doubts about Levi? Do you not want to move in with him?”

  “No, oh my gosh, no. I love Levi, and my life has only gotten better since he and Lily have become a part of it. I’m just worried that going to school and my job are only going to make me busier as the year goes on, and I won’t have time for them. And then once I finish school, I have to decide if I’ll try to stay there or if I’ll have to go work in the city. That’s an hour away, you know?”

  “Sounds to me like you want to be with Levi, and be a mother to his little girl.”

  “I really do, Mom. I don’t know, it’s crazy, right? All these years, working toward my dream job, and yet I have another one standing right in front of me.”

  Giving me a serious look, Mom pushes her plate to the side and stares at me, giving me a serious look. “Okay, then let’s figure this out. If you dropped out of school right now, how would you feel?”

  “Like a failure. I’ve worked really hard and have spent so much money.”

  “Okay. Now, what if you quit your job and only went to school?”

  “Well, I guess I could do that, but then how do I pay for everything?”

  “I’m sure you have enough in savings for the rest of this school year. Then you can start working right after graduation.”

  “But I love my job.”

  Running my index finger along the rim of my mug, my eyes burn with tears at the hopelessness I’m feeling. I want to spend more time with Levi and Lily, but I also don’t want to give up the things I love. I know being a parent and a spouse means sacrificing things to make the others happy, but I don’t think Levi would ever ask me to do anything that made me unhappy.

  “Em?” Mom smiles at me and squeezes my hand. “When you get off work, talk to your boyfriend. I know you’d like to be there more, but you have to make yourself happy too, you know? Maybe moving in with him and that sweet girl will make things easier. But trust me, you have to talk to him. Don’t decide anything without talking to him.”

  Agreeing, we get back to our food, and I start to feel a little better. I don’t spend nearly enough one-on-one time with my mother anymore and I really needed it today. When I get home, I’ll wait until it’s bedtime for Lily, and then Levi and I can talk. I’m not sure what kind of decision we’ll come to, but we’ll do it together.

  Lily went to bed twenty minutes ago, and I’m trying to get these dishes finished. I came home from work today much less stressed than when I went in. Levi had already started dinner, so I read books with Lily and just enjoyed a simple evening with them. I’m supposed to move my stuff in here in a couple weeks, so Levi had keys made up for me to just come and go. He says this was home for me the second I agreed to move in.

  Loading the last plate in the dishwasher, I close my eyes when Levi’s arms wrap around my waist, his lips pressed against the back of my neck.

  “Hi, baby,” he says quietly. His lips trail around my neck until I turn my face, capturing his mouth with mine. Breaking the kiss, I turn back to wipe the counter and then turn to face him, drying my hands on a dish towel.

  “Hi, yourself. Where’d you go?”

  “Threw a load of laundry in.”

  “Oh. Levi, can we talk for a few minutes?”

  “You know it.”

  I follow him into the living room and we plop down onto the sofa together, me throwing my legs across his lap. Levi runs his hands up and down my legs, his eyes on me.

  “What’s going on, Em?”

  “Well, Mom and I got lunch today on my break, and I told her about how I’m going to be moving in, and it got me thinking.”

  “Talk to me, baby. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

  “Well, between school and work, I’m hardly home with you and Lily, and I know moving in won’t change my schedule. And I hate feeling like I have to choose between my life and you two.” Sitting up, I turn so I’m facing Levi, and he throws his arm over the back of the couch to pull me closer to him.

  “I would never ask you to choose, babe.”

  “I know. So I was thinking about quitting my job so I could be home every day, but how am I supposed to pay my way?”

  “Don’t even think about money, Em. If that’s what you want to do, you have my support one hundred percent.”

  “But I can’t let you have all the financial responsibility, Levi. That’s not okay with me.”

  “Em, I can handle it.”

  “Well, I decided what I’m gonna do.”

  Levi leans forward to brush my hair off my face, his fingers lingering along my cheek.

  “What’s that?”

  “I already let my supervisor know, but I’m dropping down to part-time. I’ll only work Monday through Thursday. That way, I can have all of Friday with Lily and then be home on the weekends. My rate won’t change, so I’ll still make enough money.”

  Getting up on my knees, I straddle Levi and his hands settle on my lower back. Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, I drop my forehead to his.

  “So I get more time with my girl?” he mumbles, running his nose down the side of my neck.

  Nodding, I clasp the sides of his face, placing a gently kiss to his forehead.

  “I’m so glad you’re okay with this.”

  “Why wouldn’t I be, Em? All I want is for you to be happy. And if dropping some hours does that, then so be it, Hell, you could have told me you were dropping out of school and planned to spend all day every day in my bed and I’d have been game.”

  Laughing loudly, I drop my head back, shaking it at him.

  “Really?”

  “Well no. I don’t want you to leave school. I know how important it is to you, so it’s important to me too. But really, baby, I support you no matter what.”

  “I love you, Levi.”

  “Love you too. Now do you mind? It’s been a long day and I’d really like to take you upstairs so I can make love to you. That okay with you?”

  “Mmm. Yes, sir,” I joke, saluting him with a wink.

  Growling at me, he lifts me and tosses me over his shoulder, smacking me hard on the ass as he carries me up the stairs. We fall onto the bed in a heap and in minutes, all serious talk is forgotten.

  “Nana, can we play Barbies now?” A couple nights later, we’re sitting around the kitchen table with Scott and Abby, Levi’s parents. We invited them over for dinner to tell them the news about me moving in, and needless to say they were absolutely thrilled with it.

  “Sure, honey. Just let me grab the dishes first.” Abby stands and starts to gather plates, but Levi grabs them from her and kisses her cheek.

  “Mom, no. Go play with Lily bug. No cleaning for you tonight.”

  Swatting Levi on the arm, Abby leaves the room laughing, Lily running next to her.

  Taking a sip of my wine, I watch them go with a smile. Levi collects the dishes and carries them over to the sink. I offer Scott more wine, and he holds his glass out to me.

  “I gotta say, Emerson, I haven’t seen my son this happy in a very lon
g time.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Taking a sip, he swirls the wine in his glass before placing it down on the table.

  “Lily is the magic in our lives. Always has been. But even before Dana got pregnant, Levi wasn’t happy with her. Not truly, anyway. I see the same light in his eyes that I have in mine for my Abigail. My boy loves you. I hope you know that.”

  Blushing, I look down at the table. “I know he does. And I love him too. Especially that little girl of his. She’s incredible.”

  “She is. And she needs a momma.”

  “Well, she’s got one,” I whisper, feeling tears well up in my eyes. With a smile, Scott stands from the table and comes around it to me.

  “Welcome to our family, Emerson,” he says, dropping a hand to my shoulder. He squeezes and leaves the room, heading out to his wife and granddaughter.

  I’m sitting in silence when Levi comes back into the room a few moments later, grabbing the rest of the dirty dishes. He notices the tear that falls down my cheek and rushes around the table, dropping to his knees in front of me. Wiping it away, he grabs my hands and holds them in my lap.

  “What is it, baby?”

  “I love your dad,” I say softly, giving him a watery smile.

  “That’s a good thing, although I may have to kick his ass for making you cry.”

  “Good tears, Levi. I promise.” Leaning forward, I kiss him, giggling when he pulls away. “I’m such a freaking mess lately. So much has happened.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean. But I think everything is going to be okay. As long as we stick together, we can handle anything, Em.”

  And I know he’s right. Life is perfect right now, and I couldn’t ask for more.

  15

  LEVI

  “So, what’s on the agenda today?” I ask Emmy, pouring us both a cup of coffee. Thank God tomorrow is Friday, because I am in serious need of a weekend with my girls. I’ve been thinking about a spontaneous journey into the city, complete with dinner out and a trip to the American Girl store for Lily. Standing next to me, Emmy is already in her pink scrubs, blonde hair in a messy-looking bun thing.